The next time they met one another, Tonks was a little more wary of talking to him as she had been doing recently. She wanted to ask him about whether it had been him who had killed her father but she wasn't sure whether she ought to or not. After all, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"What's wrong?" Severus asked her, being unable to break into her mind because she was so desperate to keep it from him.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked, looking up at him and showing him the fear in her eyes but not letting him see the thoughts behind the fear.
"Of course," he replied, feeling a little worried about what she would ask, "What is it?"
"Was it you that killed my Dad and Dirk Cresswell?" she asked, looking a little afraid of what the answer might be to that question.
Severus frowned, looking away from her for a few seconds before returning his gaze to her once more, "It was," he replied, "But I didn't want to do it. If they hadn't seen me, I would only have hurt them and said I was disturbed."
Tonks nodded, her heart filling with dread and pain, "Did you really have to do it?" she asked.
He shook his head a little, "I had no real choice in the matter. If I hadn't done it, someone else would," he explained, moving a little closer to her. He wanted to hug her and comfort her but he wasn't sure he was really welcome to do that.
She looked away from him and nodded slowly, "I guess so," she said and he could hear the pain in her voice. "How could you kill like that, though? In such a heartless manner?"
"It comes with being a Slytherin," he replied, "You're a Hufflepuff. Most Hufflepuffs don't have it in them to kill mercilessly. It's different for Slytherins." He knew it didn't explain his behaviour and he knew it was unacceptable but he also knew that if he hadn't killed, he probably would have been killed in place of her father.
Tonks nodded slowly once again, getting up from her seat without him even noticing because he could no longer bring himself to look at her. She then walked over to him perched on his desk and she put her arms around him gently, "its okay," she said, "I understand. You did it to survive. It was inevitable. He would have died in the end anyway. He was ill, not that you were to know that." She smiled a little at him and hugged him a little more tightly.
He looked up at her and pushed her away a little, "I'm sorry," he said and Tonks knew he was genuinely sorry for what he had done. His arms were gently wrapped around her and she pulled him closer to her. "Why don't you hate me?" he whispered.
"I could never hate you," she whispered in return and they just stood there hugging for a while, enjoying the warmth passing between the two of them.