AN: Okay, this chapter is completely unplanned. With the exception of the very beginning I had no idea this was going to happen at all. There was supposed to be the talk with Joker and going back to the Normandy, but it just got out of control. Once I started to write them together the words sprung to life, the narration moved on it's own and in a few hours the chapter was filled up. It's not what I have planned, but it's turned out pretty amazing. So the real drama is postponed until the next chapter. Have lots of Shepard and Miri feels for now.
Chapter IV
A blonde woman was casually stretching in an alcove, she looked at once bored and agitated. The alcove was located at one of the side corridors. The walls seemed off compared to the main halls: dark smooth purple surface was cut off into straight gray metallic lines and harsh angles instead of gradual curves. The alcove would not have looked out of place on the Citadel or any other space station modeled after it. In the middle of the half-oval shaped room were several blue circles in the floor and ceiling. The wall behind those was covered with hexagon patterns of more blue. Honestly, the setup was not much different form what Shepard was used to on the Normandy. Witch, probably, was the intention.
Kara glanced at the control panel of the communicator. It blinked in steady pulses of light. This lack of contact made her uneasy. Uncertainty always ticked Commander the wrong way. She did not know if the person on the other end was away, unable to answer or if she did not want to. That last possibility was sort of scary. Especially now that Kara really needed for everything to go well.
Noticing what she was doing the blonde sniggered. Without realizing it Shepard defaulted to what she always did in moments of anxiety, the times she had to wait for news outside of her control. When she could not tinker with tech, she would stretch. Standard mindset of the military doctrine, and before that – the realities of living on the streets, had hammered one mantra into her brain. Always be prepared, always be alert, keep up, don't let up. It had taken Kara a long time to learn to relax, leave the responsibilities aside for a while and just enjoy life. But any time her mind was elsewhere, distracted, her body always snapped back into the familiar mode. Apparently that wasn't something the Reapers could have overlooked.
This time, however, Shepard welcomed the exercise. Anything to remind herself over and over that she was alive, whole again. The strain of muscles, the satisfaction of reaffirming that the muscle memory was there, not lost during the transition. It has been several days since she busted out of the pod. Kara knew the body she was given was in perfect condition, at the very peak of what was possible of a human and well beyond that. Yet she savored every moment of consuming food and drink, tasting all her favorite flavors again. She worked herself to exhaustion repeating all the training exercises she had learned in the Academy, even those she haven't done in years. Making every muscle, every inch of her skin and tissue ache was blissful reminder that it was real. She was truly back.
Shepard let out a small laugh as she tried to reach for her feet. With her legs spread wide she bend down low and placed her hands flat on the floor. Her body was folded in two with arms and legs kept straight as arrows. This position would be almost impossible without prolonged and extensive training, serious work on the ability of the muscles to stretch. What Shepard needed was just a bit of effort. Another reminder of a very different kind. As much as she felt alive and human, she was anything but. Still somehow that did not bother her as it used to anymore.
In that exact moment the panel beeped confirming the connection. Shepard released out of her position like a tightly wound up and then let loose spring. Her bright hazel eyes widened, she searched the space between the blue circles for any movement. And said movement came not a moment later.
The image on the holo-projector shimmered, winked, the distortions going through it like ripples on the surface of a lake, then finally it cleared up. A tall figure of the beautiful brunette came into view standing within the blue circular platform. She looked around with apprehensive curiosity coupled with a certain amount of suspicion. That expression was so vividly familiar Kara could not help but to grin wildly at her.
"Hey, Miri, did you miss me?"
"Shepard..." Bright blue eyes widened in surprise. Miranda looked Shepard up and down taking in the view she did not expect to lay her eyes on ever again. Her gaze lingered on Kara's outfit: the blonde somehow got a hold of baggy civil pants covered with camo patters, military short boots and a simple gray-brown sleeveless shirt. The same exact combo she wore to their little shopping spree on Illium after the Collector mission, oh, such a long time ago.
"I take it you are...?" drawled Miranda, a tiny smile starting at the corner of her lips.
"Complete? Got a brand new body? Put back together for a second time? Yes, yes and yes!"
They shared a long understanding look, the smiles growing by the second.
"Miri, you look quite different from what I remember." Kara returned the examining gaze the former operative had given her earlier.
Miranda had discarded her ostentatious pristine white catsuit. She was wearing a pair of stylish, but practical dark gray pants, white v-neck top witch still had a fairly low decollete accented with a blue stripe. There was a short black leather jacket draped on top. It only covered her shoulder blades leaving most of her back open. Kara reflectively thought how odd it was that apparently Aria's pirate boss style was catching on among humans. The sleeves of the jacket were rolled up past her elbows. It was strange to see her hands not covered with leather, but stranger still was Miranda's new haircut!
The brunette had cut her hair shorter. Where Kara remembered a gorgeous mane of silky black tresses, now it was replaced with straight if slightly curved locks. The new haircut opened up her neck, the new length only reaching the middle of it. Smooth oval of black hair enclosed her face on both sides only reinforcing its beauty and rare symmetry. Kara could not imagine the brunette ever changing like that, but it looked good on her. Then again, anything would have looked good on her. Still, Kara did know better: Miranda not only looked different, she somehow felt different. Freer, more at ease, less of an Ice Queen that so intrigued Shepard when they first met. That shell Kara worked so hard to get behind seemed to if not completely cracked, at least lowered considerably.
Miranda smiled leaning on the railings of her quantum-entanglement communicator.
"The change was long coming. Ever since I quit Cerberus. Being on the run, the war, trying to find and save Ori – it all merely got in the way. We'll talk more about it, there will be time now. So," her blue eyes twinkled with irony. "when is the ceremony? I can imagine the Alliance wants to throw a parade in your honor, not to mention every other race present. You certainly called to invite me to the Grand Unveiling of Commander Shepard, back from the jaws of death again! Well, for you it must be just a boring Saturday morning by now."
Kara snorted, but her face became serious right away. She put her hands in her pockets lightly kicking the raised edge of the platform.
"That would be difficult since no one else knows that I got a body already. You are the first one I have told."
"I see..." responded Miranda thoughtfully. "I can venture a guess why. Does... No, nevermind. I'm sure you have called me for a reason."
"Miri, I'd like to talk, I mean really talk. Not like thins. There's a lot going on and I've got to do some things... You're the only one that haven't visited me." Seeing what would be a well-concealed twitch of brunette's fingers if she was talking to someone else, Kara almost jumped forward. "I don't blame you or anything! C'mon, Miri, I understand! After the Collector base and Sanctuary it's no wonder you did not want to go anywhere near the Reapers. I know it's weird, insane even, but can we just get past this? I really need your help."
"Kara, it's not because of that... I couldn't simply drop it all and go to the Citadel! It will sound like such a cliché, but it's complicated." Miranda raised a hand to her chest. Shepard knew that habit well. It was one of the very few tells the tall biotic has showed to her. Every time she was actually distraught, unsure, Miranda made to touch something below her collarbone. Kara never asked directly, she could only guess as to the origin of that particular mannerism. It will have to be a starting point of a whole another conversation.
"I know, Miri. I have found a thing or two while being trapped in that virtual reality apparatus. Full access to the extranet has its benefits. I need to ask you for a favor."
Miranda raised a quizzical brow. That was not typical of the Commander. Kara was always trying to be self sufficient, she was not above asking for help, but usually it had something to do with the mission, an assignment, the fate of the galaxy. This time it sounded personal. The former operative nodded.
"Of course. What do you need?"
"A place to stay." admitted Kara, she shrugged helplessly. "Somewhere secluded, away from attention, people, the war, everything. And I need for you to arrange for me to meet someone there."
"Alright, I know just the place. Do you have, um, transport?" As collected and unshakable Miranda was, she was having trouble referring to the Reapers in a casual conversation.
"Yeah, there's a shuttle I can take to the surface. No one will know I'm gone, it's been modified. All I need are the coordinates."
The brunette typed something on a terminal just outside of the holo view, Shepard's Omni-tool buzzed, a string of numbers appeared on the orange screen. Kara raised her eyes to see her friend smiling at her.
"And now you have everything. I really do want to see you, Kara. The house has a landing pad on the west side."
"Thanks. See you soon."
The image shimmered again and dissolved. Shepard looked down at the string of numbers and grinned her mischievous smile. She turned around and left the alcove. The walls became darker, smooth purple curves spread out to the high ceiling. The floor gave out and disappeared into the smoky nowhere down below. She was strolling on the wide walkways suspended without any obvious supports above the drop, they wounded smoothly to the sides, separating, changing directions.
The layered walls would open up like curtains on the right or left, the halls she could glimpse were wast and filled with lights or smaller, but completely empty. Shepard knew exactly where she was going. She was connected to the virtual reality, interfaced with everything around. Kara could see tiny lights zooming everywhere, the different halls she was passing looked like a forest, mountain ridge, a plain filled with raging caverns filled with lava or space around a comet. The actual body of a Reaper – the giant, monolithic ship – was nothing less than a city, necessary hardware. Perhaps better analogy would be an ocean for the whales or an oxygen rich atmosphere for carbon-based life in general. Structure, environment, medium they needed to exist.
The Reapers themselves were much more complex. Beyond the metal and circuits there was a whole world. Every Reaper housed millions of programs, each different, yet the same. They communicated with pure data, but unlike the geth or AIs Kara knew about. Instead of ones and zeroes there was a whole spectrum of everything. From quantum physics to the beauty of one falling drop of water. They could go anywhere, model anything in their virtual space.
The Reapers called it drifting. That is how they communicated between themselves. Direct exchange of information, thoughts, even emotions.
The galaxy thought these creatures heartless, cold machines, but they were not. The Reapers were hybrids from the get go. As much organic as synthetic. Each one had genetic material and history of an entire species running through them. What made them into the boogieman, harvesting nightmares the galaxy came to fear were the cycles. The Catalyst's and its creators tunnel vision, their inability to get past the problem at hand. The Reapers believed in their mission, in some ways they were just like Cerberus. Preservation of organic and synthetic civilizations at any cost. Saving entire species before they could destroy themselves. That was the point. "Was" being the operative word. Without the Catalyst the Reapers were now free to chose their own future. And after getting to know them a bit more, Kara was determined to help them find it.
A voice sounded at the back of her head. It could have been familiar if not for the slight change in the overtones, different every time.
"You did not tell her where you were, Shepard."
Kara spoke out loud in response. She knew that it was not necessary, she could simply interface with anything around her, even walk around in much deeper drift, but Shepard wanted to use her vocal cords, hear the sound of her own voice. It was reaffirming, incredible to actually feel and know that she was alive.
"Miranda didn't have to know I was aboard a Reaper. Your identity would not help either. It's too much to ask them to accept all the changes, it all is happening way too fast. I had the benefit of getting used to you, getting to know many of your kind without the Catalyst collar on you. I'm not sure it will be that easy with the others."
The blonde reached the end of her road. The walkway stopped abruptly being cut off before a giant open cavern deep within the Reaper. The bay she needed to get to was on the other side and quite a bit lower. She looked to her left and saw a cloud of bright yellow flies moving to her. Kara laughed at the picture. Those were not flies, not at all. Nanites. Tiny microscopic robots not unlike the seeker swarms the Collectors used, but smaller still. In reality they would look like tiny dots against the sky, almost imperceptible for normal eyes. But the programs in them had chosen to look like golden shining fireflies in the drift and that's how Shepard saw them.
The swarm surrounded her, buzzed and swirled around and she knew what she should do next. Kara stepped off the ledge letting the could carry her over the chasm. The shuttle awaited her on the other side. This was not the worst way to get there. One of the more exciting ones, actually. It was definitely not a bad idea to get to know these creatures better, thought the blonde. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six.
. . .
The coordinates corresponded to a literal middle of nowhere in Australia desert. Getting through the slow smooth descent Kara made her shuttle head west over endless wastelands getting even closer to the surface. Sand dunes. Barely any vegetation. For miles upon miles in any direction. Then suddenly the instruments discerned a difference in terrain. A lake? Mostly salt, dried up at this time of the year. It was fairly large, or at least it seemed so in contrast to the dry dunes all around. At the very north ridge overlooking the lake, if one could even call it that, there was a structure. The ridge itself was obviously man-made – rocks and gravel seen through the layers of sand and salt accumulated over the years on top of them looked out of place. The steel supports of the house monumentally burrowed into the ground – even more so.
The building would be more suitable for vacation villa on Bekenstein or weekend house of some wealthy Senator in Malibu. Well, before the Reapers that is. It was white, had only one floor and vast oval shapes and lines. The architect was tasked with the problem of how to show power and wealth in a very modern, pristine look. He chose to focus on long lines and half circles, enormous glass windows spanning whole walls and white reinforced plastics. From above, where Shepard was trying to find the landing pad, it most reminded her of laboratory equipment and operating rooms. Some sort of bizarre medical apparatus build to preform surgery on a giant.
The landing pad was, as Miranda promised, on the west side of the house. It was big, almost as large as the whole house already housing several vehicles from simple skycars to a fairly impressive looking A-61 Mantis Gunship. Kara maneuvered around finding a place for her shuttle and landed it between two skycars – one blue, the other silver with red stripes. Shepard landed the shuttle carefully and gotten to her feet. She stopped before the closed door of the back compartment that lead outside. Kara held out her hand to the controls, but closed it into fist and moved it back instead of opening the door. She hesitated.
This would be the first time she saw any of her friends after being downloaded. After becoming whatever she was now. The first time she had to fully acknowledge what had happened on the Citadel, before and after the Crucible activated. And the very first person she had to do it in front of mattered, a lot. There was already some tension between them, Kara could feel the tear, the distance during that call. What if she could not get past it? What if Miranda would not want to be associated with the cyborg, half-machine hybrid of Reaper design; what if she doesn't believe it's really her, Kara, and not some kind of AI knockoff?
Shepard took a deep breath. No, it would be impossible to erase the bond they shared. After returning from the Collector base, after risking their lives and miraculously surviving with only two members of the crew lost against all the odds to the contrary; after all that discovering just how close the two women had become they made a decision. A very happy one, so much so that it made even the looming nightmare of imminently returning Reaper threat retreat from their thoughts for a while.
They had gotten back to the ship from a shopping spree on Illium. Liara had joined them for a while before being dragged away by her work, her obsession with the Shadow Broker was keeping the asari from allowing herself to relax, Kara tried to get through to her, but it was no use. So she left her best friend alone with her quest, god knows, she understood the need that drove Liara at the time. However, her crew on pair with its captainneeded a break. Some time for R&R, a breather to celebrate their victory, to process all that had happened on the mission.
Sending all the others to relax however they wanted Kara dragged the hesitant operative to the shopping district. They looked at all sorts of items. Miranda had to tear Kara away from the tech shop with all the newest Omni-tool upgrades and hacking programs. The biotic almost got to enter the weapons emporium, but Shepard was quick to lead her away – this was time to relax and have fun, not prepare for the next mission. They ate ice cream and those crunchy treats from somewhere in Hanar space. And then Kara got to the main event: they strolled from boutique to boutique trying out clothes, helping each other choose and occasionally making fun of the outfits either one came up with.
Shepard had finally managed to make Miranda lower her guard down, pry open the clamp shell and let the real woman out. The brunette was laughing, joking around showing an acute ability for that special kind of humor that made you think. They got back burdened with full bags of bought goods. The ship was mostly empty staying in dry dock for the time being and they decided to try on some of the clothes in the XO quarters.
Kara was sitting on Miranda's bed clutching a blue loose shirt with white pattern on it in her hands, she got distracted by something on the nightstand. The tall brunette had put on a red dress and was checking herself out in the mirror. The dress was of asari design: long wide skirt to the floor, tight clingy lines above the waist, high collar and the usual long gloves. The front of the dress had several cut outs showing off the silky skin, in a way it reminded of a spiders web. There was another oval window at the back of the dress. Miranda turned around throwing a long glance over her shoulder at the reflection if the mirror.
"It does look gorgeous, but I suppose this is not the kind of attire I should wear to dinner with Ori. The fact that this dress is impossibly hard to put on without help lowers its good points considerably. At least I can put a small firearm on my thigh and the cut will mask it nicely, what do you think?"
"Huh? Yeah, you look stunning in that, Miri." answered Kara absentmindedly. Shepard did not even see what Miranda was showing her, her eyes traveled to the small frame almost hidden out of view in the corner of the nightstand. Two very similar looking women were smiling from the photo on it. It was probably taken at one of the meet ups Miranda had gone to after they saved Oriana together. Kara remembered the young raven haired and blue eyed woman that she saw on the platform of the space terminal back then. Shepard remembered telling Miranda to take the chance, get to know her. The same way that she could remember the singe of jealousy at the girl.
The biotic turned towards her with a puzzled look. She moved closer and sat on the bed next to her Commander.
"What's wrong? Wasn't this whole enterprise your idea?"
Kara lowed her eyes to the shirt she was wrinkling with her nervous fingers.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I got distracted by remembering something."
"Right. And what would that be?" Miranda obviously would not let it go.
"Listen." started Kara suddenly. "Why haven't you introduced me to Oriana yet?"
"What? I don't know. Our work is dangerous and it would be safer for her not to know to much about us. What would I tell her? That my best friend is the legendary Commander Shepard? That I have spend two years bringing her back from the dead? What would I tell her if she asks what do we do or how did we became friends? Why are you even asking?"
"Because..." Kara shrugged having a hard time expressing herself.
"Because... what?" prompted the brunette.
"Because every time you come back from meeting her I feel jealous, that's why!" finally blurted out Kara. She raised her eyes to see the stoic operative wide-eyed and breathless. Miranda looked perplexed, slightly shifting back away from her.
"Kara, I didn't know you were... That you felt this way about me. Um... I'm sorry, but... I'm not..."
"Oh, crap." spluttered Shepard. Her face rapidly became red, panic swirled in her eyes. She raised her hands in a surrendering gesture waving them helplessly, the forgotten shirt slid to the floor. "Jeez, Miri, I did not mean it that way! No, no, no! I'm not into you or anything! Please, don't misunderstand! God, this is mortifying... I'm sorry I even said anything!"
Kara groaned and buried her hands in her hair. Miranda was sitting there looking at her still shocked, breathing heavily and trying to calm down. She let go of the glove she was holding in one of her hands and raised it to her chest as if to touch something below her collarbone. The brunette carefully focused her eyes to the woman sitting next to her. Shepard was rocking back and forth, her elbows perched on her knees and head hidden between raised arms, she clasped her palms together at the back of her neck. Miranda could almost hear the grinding of teeth coming from the blonde. She let out a big breath and resolutely put a hand on Kara's shoulder. The body underneath her arm jerked in agitation, Shepard was fearless and unwavering in the field, but as soon as she was off duty Kara was just a normal human being with her quirks and faults, far removed from the legend the masses had constructed of her.
"Come on, Kara, tell me. What did you mean if not what I thought?"
"It's different... You know about my childhood, right?" the blonde did not move, her voice came out muffled from her hiding spot. "Of course, you do, you know everything there is to know about me. I never knew my parents, I was on my own. I did not get any real friends. Just the others I was running with in the gangs. We were never friends, we needed each other to survive, but only to a point. Anyone could have back-stabbed anyone."
Kara straightened up folding her arms below her chest and hugging her sides, she still did not meet Miranda's eyes.
"After we rescued your sister I told you to get to know her. I never had the chance to have one, but you could. And every time you returned from meeting her, glowing, I knew I was right. You told me about Oriana, what she was like, how you had gotten along and... At some point I began to feel jealous, envious of her. Oriana got to find a sister, and that sister was you. Who could possibly be better for that role? That's the problem. I wish you were my sister, Miri. I'm terrible, I know."
There was a while of silence between them, then Kara dared to look at the biotic from the corner of her eye. What she saw made Shepard swing her head towards the brunette. Miranda was smiling. It was, perhaps, the widest and most open slime she had seen on her face. Kara attempted to smile back sheepishly still not sure where this was going.
"So you'd like to have me as your sister, huh?" drawled Miranda. "You know, that could be arranged..."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, Kara, you were completely right when you pushed me to go to Ori! Getting to know her, to openly love and cherish her, have a family, that was the greatest gift you have ever given me! Ori is the best thing that came out of my caged past and my greatest mistake was keeping her at such a distance this whole time. Do you honestly think I would not want to expand on that?"
"I... I don't think I quite understand what you mean..."
Miranda shifted closer on the bed and took Shepard's hands into hers. She positively beamed, if Kara was not a witness to the process, the long walk Miranda took from detached Ice Queen to the happy woman smiling at her, she would not have believed her eyes.
"Kara, how would you like to become my little sister? If not in name, than in fact."
"You are serious, aren't you?" whispered the blonde still having trouble wrapping her head around it.
"Absolutely. And you bloody well better be, too. From now on we are sisters. I'm sure Ori will be happy to learn her family just gotten bigger."
"S-sure. If you put it that way. Sis?"
They got up simultaneously and found themselves wrapped in a tight hug. Kara hid her face in the taller woman's shoulder smiling like an idiot, she felt her eyes sting a little. This quite possibly was a dream. Shepard brought her arms together behind Miranda's back and pinched the back of her hand. It hurt. That was all that happened. She did not wake up. It was real. The delight and joy swelled up in her chest like hot light air. The loud voice at her ear made her flinch.
"If you are trying to pinch yourself, Kara, I'm going to have to lecture you on the misconceptions of dreaming. Like a good older sister."
"I have no idea what you are talking about." retorted Shepard into the red fabric.
"Liar."
Kara snorted witch resulted in Miranda disengaging and pushing her away, but Commander managed to grab onto her arm. They fell on the bed together laughing like the pair of idiots they were. But very happy idiots non the less.
Kara shook her head chasing the memory away. They indeed promised to call each other sisters, but Shepard knew the fickle nature of promises. The circumstances have changed, more than either of them could foresee. The blonde balled her fists and took another deep breath. Then she turned the lever and opened the door.
The first thing greeting her back on Earth was a smell. No, that was a rather foul stench. The cold breeze brought it from the other side of the house filling everything around with its corrosive presence. Shepard grimaced. If she believed in such things she would have thought it was a sign. Be it as it may, Kara jumped out of the shuttle and stated in the direction of the house. There was a familiar figure waiting for her at the door. Kara got up a small wide ladder entering the spacious terrace that overlooked west and south-west sides of the landscape, it curved around the house in an oval border disappearing into the wall on both ends.
Miranda was standing at the door to the house, she took a few steps towards her. The brunette was wearing the same outfit, but she took off her jacket. Miranda was wearing heels, one thing she did not give up of her old Cerberus look. This time Kara could see the comfortable pointy shoes peeking from beneath the seams of her wide at the ankles pants. Miranda looked more like confident business woman than dangerous femme fatale. Maybe that was exactly what she wanted to change.
"Kara, it's good to see you again." The smile Shepard received was conservative, barely showing the brunette's white teeth, but it was warm and welcoming still.
"Likewise. What is this place?" Kara gestured at the house and the landscape.
"It was one of my father's residences. I know," added she seeing the expression on Shepard's face. "this is not the place I ever wanted to return to, but considering everything that happened... It would be irresponsible of me not to not to take advantage of the opportunity."
"How do you even get to be here? I would think your father had made precautions, made sure you could not return."
"He's dead, remember?" shrugged the biotic. "Henry Lawson forgot to change his last will where he named Oriana as his sole heir. She did not want to have anything to do with his fortune so it falls to her legal guardian witch is me. No court would be able to disprove my or her right since we have the DNA to prove our claims."
"Alright, but you did not answer my question. What is this place? I have never been to Australia before."
There, finally an open slime if smaller than Kara would like! The brunette strode to the railing and leaned on it. Shepard followed suit taking place next to her.
"This pile of salt and bad smell is called Lake Disappointment. Fitting name, is it not?" Miranda glanced at her with ironic twinkle in her blue eyes. "An explorer in nineteen hundreds discovered this lake. He was following a stream going inland and not to the ocean. He was expecting the creeks to lead him to a lake or a sea, hopefully fresh water, but he found this place instead. Most of the time it is dried up, even when it's filled up the water is too salty to be drinkable. It was named Lake Disappointment shortly after. My father bought the lake and the land around it for some obscene amount of credits. He liked the irony of the story. He would bring business partners here to finish a deal, let them see the Lake and smell the stench. He would tell me how if I disappointed him this would be the only place he'd allow me to live in."
Miranda looked to the horizon, her expression was absent, touched by distant pain. Kara moved her eyes to the picture before her. The lake spanned as far as the eye could see. Salty crust made it look like there was snow spread over the ground. It was hard to distinguish where the lake ends and sky begins. The vastness of flat earth covered with salt shimmered slightly from the heat. Kara could just barely make out some trees at the very edge of the horizon. Only the green tops were there, the trunks completely taken away by the shimmer from the slat and heat. It was beautiful in a way. A very serene, lonely way.
"How come the Reapers did not level this house?"
"It's out of the way. There was no one here at the time. No life signs – no humans to harvest or turn into husks, what would be the point? They were too busy with major population centers."
"But what about after? I'm sure some looters or soldiers from the allied forces would have stumbled on this place."
"The perimeter has automatic defenses. Turrets, mines, kinetic shielding. Plus a small assortment of medium and heavy security mechs. It's quite safe to stay here."
"Okay, this location could have been a good tourist resort if only for the smell. But I like it. Is there like a place where I could get some tan?" Kara shook her hair nodding to her idea. She almost flinched in surprise when she heard the sound of light melodic laughter from her left.
"Come on, I brewed some coffee. We can talk inside."
. . .
The house was gorgeous. Spectacular. The white walls and clear windows were complimented by the modern furniture and art. The rugs on the floors, statues and plants in the corners, tall book shelf's and cleverly designed lights – everything was harmonically placed and paired up. The only thing that made Kara uneasy were sighs of in-your-face wealth. The previous owner of the place was keen on showing his guests just how rich and powerful he was. It was subtle, but the thought followed her wherever she went.
The smell was not allowed inside and it was filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Miranda led her to the vast white spotless kitchen where the big metallic pot was waiting for them. She poured two mugs and they moved to settle at the low glass table in comfortable creamy chairs with puffy cushions. There was a sofa a bit further away in the same color with even more cushions spread about ion it. Kara grinned, b-lined to the sofa, kicked off her shoes and threw her legs up on it. That was more like it. The biotic hummed in her chair. She put one leg over the other holding her mug with both hands close to her face.
"So this is where you live now..." drawled Kara looking around. "Not bad."
"It's not what I wanted. I would have never touched any of my father's money. Never thought I would end up in this house again..."
"But things have changed?" continued the blonde understandingly.
"Yeah. With this I can help people. Help rebuild Earth, make a real difference. I have been fighting for humanity for far too long. It's time instead of protecting people I took care of them. The funds and man power I'm in charge of is devoted to restoring living conditions, providing drinkable water and food rations. The Lawson Foundation is putting temporary optoceramic cables throughout the populated areas to provide electricity, we oversee 30% of the restored power plants around the world. That's not enough, but we... I am doing all I can."
"That is very commendable. I'm proud of what you're doing, Miri. For whatever that's worth."
"It is worth quite a lot. Thank you."
They sat in awkward silence sipping from their mugs. There was something unsaid, something bursting to the surface, something either one was afraid to bring up. Miranda put her mug on the low coffee table with a soft clang that made Kara close her eyes tightly for a second. Here it comes.
"Kara, about the Reapers..." started the brunette slowly. That was exactly what Shepard was dreading. "The others, Garrus and Liara, they have told me what happened. The choice you had to make and what you were going though. I..." Miranda paused again, she clasped her hands together leaning forward. "I'm sorry."
"Huh?" Well, that was not what she expected. Not that soon. Was Miri going to kick her out right away? The terrifying Reaper creation, whatever had become of her sworn sister. Kara was hoping she would have at least some time to figure out a way to explain, show how it all could make sense. But the facts were unavoidable. Kara was not herself anymore and she could understand what the brunette was thinking of her. She took another sip of coffee and put it on the table next to the other mug. Clang. Dammit, what a mess. Shepard looked up above her knees, her eyes and brows were screwed up in hurt, understanding did not make it any easier or any less painful.
"So when do I have to leave? You are going to kick me out, aren't you?"
"Kick you out? Don't be absurd!" Miranda straightened up indignantly putting both her legs on the floor. "Why would I do such a thing?"
"Why wouldn't you?!" suddenly screamed the blonde. She managed to hold it in for months of anticipation, hide it from all the others. No one knew – not the Reapers, not her friends that visited. Kara had pushed those thoughts to the furthest corners of her mind, she did not come back to them, not until she was in a body on her way to the person that signified her family. And she just knew that Miri already have had all those thoughts, already put two and two together about what exactly Kara had become.
Shepard jumped up and started pacing on the warm parquet in front of the coffee table. She gestured wildly grabbing onto her hair and pointing at her body. Kara had been bottling it up for so long, she could not stop herself. The hurt and guilt and acceptance of how fucked up this all was were spilling out of her like the finally released river waters. She did not want to say it, to alienate Miri even more, but it was no use. The dam had been broken and there was no stopping her now.
"I'm a Reaper creation, half-machine. I'm not the sister you had, not anymore. I understand. I had to work with the Reapers to come back, the same Reapers we had fought against to the last breath! The very same that were the reason for Sanctuary to exist, the same ones that made Collectors abduct and liquidate living people! I accepted their help! You probably think this body was created like the Human-Reaper we fought on the Collector base! The abomination brought to life by thousands of human deaths! It's not like that, but it's god damned close! They did not sacrifice living people to bring me back, but how many deaths are they responsible for? And I let them go on! I don't blame you for hating me. For despising what I had become. I fucked up. I was weak and miserable and I took the chance and I hated myself for it! But I found a way to balance it out. I doubt you can. I'm sorry, I represent all that you fought to protect humanity against. I'm sorry I tried to involve you in this mess, I'm gonna go..."
Shepard turned to leave, to run away from her shame, the fact that deep down she was okay with it all. Taking the Reapers help, being reborn in this way, deciding to let them continue existing in the first place. The chance at fulfilling her stupid promise. But if she had to pay for it by loosing Miri... That price might be too high to pay. Too late now. Kara screwed up her face, she was not going to break down in front of Miranda only proving how weak she really was. She needed to get away, run to her shuttle and fly as far as the damned thing could carry her.
Kara had managed to make two steps before strong arms grabbed her by the shoulders rotated her body around and squeezed the air out of her. Miranda was gripping her tightly placing the blonde head to her shoulder. Her strong voice came right into Shepard's ear, it hitched ever so slightly, but the amount of conviction in it could have inspired nations.
"Stop that right now, Kara! I would never kick you out or refuse you in any way. It doesn't matter to me that you were brought back by the Reapers. I was wrong. When I said the only way was to destroy them, I was wrong. You have found a better solution. The Reapers are helping rebuild, right the wrongs their flawed assumptions have brought. You did good, better than good. I would never blame you for taking their help to come back to us. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't. Listen to me, Kara, please."
Miranda detached herself from the blonde taking her face in her hands and looking into her eyes, she had to bend her head down a little to do that. The hazel eyes were full of fear and self-deprecation, they were starting to become watery despite the effort Shepard was putting in not to let them. Miranda began talking slowly, measuring her words so that they would reach Kara, so that she would really hear her.
"It is true that I had a lot to do with the reconstruction. I was very busy these few months. But. I could have found a way to visit you. Honestly, I didn't because I was afraid. Afraid the Reapers would succeed, make you better than before, give you what I could not. More than that I was afraid they would be more like me. That they would change you to fit the bill, to be a better... whatever it is they wanted. They could have changed you in a million different ways just like I could. Just like I would have if not for the Illusive Man. There was no Illusive Man to stop them. I was afraid that when I got there, loaded into that virtual reality word of yours I would not meet my beloved sister, but some close approximation, a soulless vessel filled with your memories and plastered on top with your likeness. I could not take that. So I avoided you out of fear and I am sorry for that."
Kara sniffed and blinked trying to keep her cool. She was failing at it very, very badly. There was just too much pent up emotion bubbling up to the surface. The things she could not fully tell Garrus or Liara, her doubts and fears were now out in the open.
"You were right to be scared, Miri. Look at me! I'm not the same, they have changed me..."
"Oh, no." Miranda smiled at her that wide open smile again. "The fact that you have thought about it, that you had the same fear; the fact that you are so broken up thinking I would let you go, it only proves you are the same. The same Kara Shepard. My sister. If not in name, than in fact. That will never change."
"You are serious, that's not a joke?" croaked the fearless soldier, her lower lip trembling. Deep down that was one of her greatest fears all throughout the resurrection – that her friends would turn their backs on her; that Miranda, Liara and Garrus would be disgusted with what she became, that EDI would not want to hear her out, let alone give her a chance. They have proven to her again and again that they would always have her back and yet that insecurity stemming from the earliest years of her life persisted.
"No, it's not a joke. I love you, sis, no matter what."
Shepard lunged herself into the embrace burrowing her face into the brunette's shoulder and breaking down. She sobbed grabbing onto Miranda like a drowning man tries to hold on to a flotation device. The tall biotic smiled lightly, whispering some comforting nonsense at Kara's ear and leading them both to the sofa. It was a challenge to get the blonde on if though, as she simply refused to let go of her so instead Miranda lowered them both to the floor reclining against the sofa and holding the sister that returned to her in her arms.
It took a long while for Shepard to calm down, but eventually the sobs subsided and she found herself laying on her back, her head was placed in Miranda's lap, the brunette was running her fingers through the strands of Kara's hair. He was smiling at her from above like nothing had happened, like it was the Citadel and they were having fun at the apartment. There was a wet stain on the previously pristine white top. Kara did not wear any make up, but she did manage to soak the thin fabric through and through.
"I'm sorry, I have ruined your shirt." Shepard's voice came out rasped, her vocal cords were aching. The damned body was simulating what she was expecting of it too fucking well! Kara's face was still wet, the tears subsided, but haven't left it completely.
"I have enough tops and I would gladly let you cry over all of them."
"Yeah, sorry about that, too."
"What are older sisters for?" She actually winked! What was going on?
"Wait, did you just wink? What have you done with Miri and where did you put her?"
"Shut up!" exclaimed the former operative punching her lightly in the shoulder. "I can be as happy and lax as I want! My beloved sister has come back from being dead. Again. Not making it a habit, are you?"
"No, thanks, I think twice is more than enough."
"So... What now? We have dealt with your doubts, I hope."
"Yeah, do I have to apologize for that as well? I'm sorry I thought you're gonna kick me out, okay? You are never gonna let me live it down."
"We'll see. But that still leaves the question. What do you want to do?"
"I... Remember I have asked you if I could meet someone here? That's the plan."
"Alright. I can arrange a meeting as long as it's not some important dignitary. I doubt I can get the Council to visit this little house."
"Little? Yeah, right! No, nothing that dramatic. All I want is to meet one pilot. The one with brittle bone disease."
"Joker?" Miranda's eyes widened. "Haven't he visited you in the virtual limbo? Why would you need to meet with him in a secluded place? What about going to where the Normandy is docked?"
"I have asked Liara not to let him see me in there..." admitted Shepard. "I have to talk to him eye to eye. And it can not be aboard the Normandy."
"What is going on, Kara? Tell me straight up already!"
Shepard sat up and turned on the spot to face the raven haired woman, she folded her legs in a lotus position. This would be the first time she told the truth. Well, have to start somewhere. And Miri was right: what are sisters for if not this? She took in a full breath and let it out.
"I have lied to him and I have to make it right. Miri, I made a promise to myself that I will tell everyone the truth after we win. If we'd lost it wouldn't have mattered. At least that was the rationalization behind it all. Truthfully, I was too scared to admit it out loud back then, so I found a way to wiggle out of my responsibility. It was wrong and selfish and I have to put it right."
There was a sympathetic expression on the biotic's face. She put a hand on Kara's leg squeezing it reassuringly.
"What did you do to the poor fella?"
"I... I did not tell him about his family, his sister. They died, I knew it and let him hold on to the false hope. I sabotaged his chances at a relationship with EDI. I pushed them both to be just friends and forget about trying to become more."
"Why was that a bad thing? We were at the brink, if they were to try and we'd loose... They can still take a chance now."
"That was one of the reasons. No, it was one of the rationalizations. One of the excuses I told myself. If they end up together and the Reapers would destroy the Normandy, what would become of Jeff? What if he was injured or died? My crew members could not risk becoming involved with each other! What about the mission, the fate of the galaxy? Blah-blah-blah! It was all to hide from the truth. I did it to him for my own selfish reasons, not because of some altruistic, noble desire to shield them from the pain."
Miranda looked at her perplexed, she raised a perfect brow waiting to hear the real reason. Kara mustered all her strength... and suddenly realized that she didn't need to. What she was about to tell Miri was a good thing. Shepard did mess up, but the feeling that pushed her to do so was incredible and she did not want to deny or hide it any longer. Even if some bridges will have to be burned with the pilot, Kara intended to pursue what she really wanted. Or rather who she wanted.
"I did it because... Because I'm in love with EDI. And I have been for a long time."
Miranda choked at the confession that came out of the blue for her. She coughed putting hands to her chest and staring at the blonde with enormous, shocked eyes. Regaining her voice she stumbled in great confusion:
"You are what? I'm sorry, I must have heard you wrong, could you repeat that last one?"
"I. Am. In. Love. With. EDI." slowly repeated Kara accenting every word. It was fantastic to say it out loud, like the tingling feeling in her chest, the butterflies in her stomach became a physical entity. It filled her up sending warmth from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. "As in I'm head over heels crazy about her and I have connived my way to eliminating the competition."
"I'm sorry, Kara, that is quite the revelation. Was it because of the..." Miranda made an uncertain gesture with her hands.
"The android platform?" picked up on it Shepard. "That was when it really hit me, but it started much earlier. After the Collector base, after most of you left. We have spend hours, days talking, exploring, watching movies and listening to music. She read to me." The was a dreamy expression flowing over Kara's face. She put her fingers to her lips and lightly bit on a fingernail for a second. "I remember laughing at her jokes and at some point she thanked me for it. I had to explain that I genuinely find her odd humor funny, that I like the way she thinks. You know what EDI told me in response? That she knew and just wanted to provoke me into saying that I liked her! That might have been the moment I really connected the dots. EDI is a person capable of having and expressing feelings just like any organic. It could have been the moment I started falling for her. I don't know. But I do know that I love her now and I want to be able to tell her."
"You really do, don't you?" Miranda crooked her head glancing at Shepard with curiosity. There was a smile growing at her lips.
"Yeah, I do." Kara smiled her full-mouthed grin, her eyes sparkled through the still lingering tears.
"Well, in that case, I will help you however I can. I kind of feel sorry for Joker, but the happiness of my sister takes priority. I will get him out of that pilot chair and bring him here myself. And I won't say anything to EDI."
"Thanks, Miri. That really means a lot."
"What are sisters for?"
Miranda grabbed Kara by the arm and pulled her in for another tight hug. They both were giggling and laughing like a pair of idiots. At that moment Shepard felt happy, just happy without any 'but's or 'if's. The weight she was carrying deep within her all along had been lifted. She had let out her fears and was reassured by the only person who could. Miri convinced her that while she wasn't the same physically and mentally, she did not loose her soul to the machine. The Reapers preserved her essence, the spark that made her who she was. A good person at heart, a loyal if sometimes misguided friend and a beloved sister. Kara got to tell the truth about how she felt about EDI. Got to share it with Miranda out of all people! And what better still, she got her full support! What seemed like an insurmountable challenge this morning became the lightest breeze. And why wouldn't it?
Everyone should have a sister.