4. Right?

My knees started to tremble and I felt all of my blood escape my face. Jacob was calling me. I had to answer or he would just call again. He would be right to, I'd been away a whole day and we hadn't talked at all since the morning when I'd dropped by his house.

Of course both Alice and Edward noticed the change in my expression. Edward was next to me in no time. "What's wrong?" he asked, urgency distorting his velvet voice.

"Nothing…It's nothing…I…I just need a minute, please" I was surprised any sound came out of my mouth by that moment, let alone a coherent sentence.

I picked up the phone and started walking away, so I could speak more freely. Jacob sounded normal as ever.

"Hey beautiful, what's up?" he started.

"Hi…not much I guess. I…I picked up the dress. Then I went to get some lunch" I said. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Good! So how's your wedding dress?" he teased, he knew I didn't really want him to know until he actually saw it on me.

"Uhm…It's okay I guess, it's great"

"Hey, are you okay? You sound funny" he questioned now, with concern in his voice.

"No, I'm fine, just tired from walking around all day" I quickly lied.

"So, you better hurry up and come home to me then, I'll make it all better" he taunted me. Sadly I couldn't respond to that.

"Okay, see you soon" I said quickly. I so wanted this phone call to be over…

"'kay, love you Bells" was his last comment, then, finally he hang up.

When I turned around I saw only Alice starring at me like she had just seen a ghost.

One thing I didn't account for was the fact that I wasn't used to being near vampires anymore. It had been a long time since that had had to concern me. Apparently their enhanced hearing was still there. I was so stupid.

"Alice where is he? Where did he go?"

Alice kept starring blankly at me.

"Alice, please, where did he go?" I demanded.

"It doesn't matter you can't get to him. He's too far away by now. He took the car. I need a ride" she spoke almost mechanically.

When we were in the car neither one spoke for a long time. Finally, I couldn't stand that anymore. Who knew what ideas crossed her head? Who knew what he might do?

"Alice, you've gotta –"

"Bella, Jacob? Of all the people that Edward could compete with, Jacob? And you're marrying him? Don't deny it, we both heard him talking about your wedding dress. I cannot believe this. Why would you want to be with a werewolf? Edward is shattered. If only you could have seen his face when he took off…This is bad" I let Alice speak but I wasn't going to leave it like that. They had left me. He had left me. How could he expect me to just stop living when he turned me down, when he said that I was not good enough for him and he disappeared?

"Alice, I love Jake. And I wasn't going to deny the fact that I am marrying him in ten days time. Nine, actually. You know, you know nothing about this. He stood by me every single day. When I couldn't even lift myself from the bed because of the pain your brother had caused me. He was here. He never left. Even when I sent him away, when I told him to leave me alone. He never did. He deserves this. The fact that he is a werewolf doesn't mean anything to me, exactly as the fact that Edward is a vampire meant nothing to me. And I honestly love him" I made my declaration as clear as possible. She had to hear this. She had to know exactly what the situation was.

It seemed like she understood. "I'm sorry, you had every right to live your life when we abandoned you. It's just that I know that Edward never forgot you. Not for one day. This must be killing him…" she was right about that. I knew that much.

"You have to let me deal with that" I said.

She just nodded. I dropped her off at her house. Edward wasn't there. I didn't want him to leave but I couldn't just drop everything and go after him. Instead I went home. The more I got my head straight the more details I remembered. I went home, I took a hot shower and changed all my clothes. I didn't want the werewolf to smell the vampire on me.

After I was aroma free I went up to the Reservation as fast as my truck could go, at a speed that definitely was not for it's best interest. When I got there Jake was already waiting for me on the front porch. I pulled my car over and I just ran up to him. I ran and when I got to him I held him in an embrace so tight it made my muscles hurt. Of course to him it was nothing.

"Hey, babe, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked kind of alarmed.

I was crying again. Way to go Bella.

"Look at me, I love you, tell me what happened and I'm going to fix it. Nothing is going to harm you ever again" his words felt like daggers piercing through my chest. When he spoke to me like that it felt as if the world could come crushing down on us and somehow it would be okay. He would make it okay.

Without even taking a step back I spoke to him "I love you. We're getting married. I want this. I want us to and have kids and grandkids and grow old together. I want you, forever, just mine" I cried out in despair.

He held me close, kissing my shoulder every now and again.

"And it's all gonna happen, babe. Nine more days. Gosh, I can't even wait. I love you Bella"

"Thank you, that's all I needed" I said.

"Anytime, babe, but what got you all upset?"

"Ugh...I'm jut going crazy…Nothing unusual" I tried to shift to a lighter mood.

"I'll tell you what" he said, while he sat me down on the porch banister, "Why don't you stay over tonight?" he kept his arms wrapped around my waist "Billy is over at Sue's for the night and we have the house to ourselves, what do you say?" I said hell yes. I couldn't believe that just hours ago I'd acted as if he didn't exist.

I didn't speak, I just nodded in agreement. While he lifted me off of the wooden porch banister. I crossed my legs around his waist and locked the grip of my hands around his neck. He kissed me several times at the base of my neck all the way up to my ear. He took us inside the house and when he knocked the door closed I was already kicking off my shoes. He laid me on the couch and remained atop me. I felt better. His touch, his words, his lips made me feel better. So much so that I almost forgot the words that Alice had said to me in the car.

Almost. If only you could have seen his face when he took off. That brought me to a stop.

Of course Jake immediately noticed my rigid body and he stopped kissing me, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry…I just don't feel well, I'm sorry" I really was. I wanted him. Why did I have to be so stupid and complicated?

Instead of getting angry he only made me feel worse for what I had done by what he said

"It's okay, this isn't something you should apologize for. This has only happened in moments when we both felt we wanted it to" and that much was true, he never pressured me for sex, he let me take my time about it and he waited for a long time before I could finally let go and trust him with that. "Don't feel bad, really, there's no reason. We'll just stay here and sleep or talk if you want to. I'll love you just the same in the morning" and then he gave me a breathtaking smile that was as true as the sun. How could I ever hurt him? I was everything to him. He should've been everything to me.

As the night grew older we fell asleep at some point. I slept without thoughts, or dreams of Edward. Such a relief. I would have died right then and there if I had woken Jacob up in the middle of the night screaming Edwards name.

When the morning came I woke up first. I wrote Jake a note telling him I'd left, gone home to make Charlie some breakfast and that I'd left some cucumber sandwiches in the fridge for him. And that I loved him. Because I did. Right?