Hey sorry it has been so long since I last updated!!! Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews they make me so happy!! Anyway the song in the last chapter was Blurry by Puddle of Mudd and I hope you enjoy this chapter!!
I finished getting cleaned up and ran out of that school and I didn't want to go home either I just kept driving and thinking about a certain brunette with the most beautiful hazel eyes that are officially burned into my mind forever.
You take it all away
this pain you gave to me
Take it all away
this pain you gave to me
I drove around town for a while just calming down and thinking. I didn't want to go home because it would not be pleasant when Dan finds out I snapped at coach. I finally decided to pull into the river court and sat in my car for a couple of minutes before getting out and walking over to the pick nick table and sitting on it.
When this began
I had nothing to say
and I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
My mind flashed back to the first time Dan ever hit me when I was 12 years old.
FlashbackI was outside on the driveway and my dad was making me shoot 50 free throws before I could go play with my friends. I had made 45 and I was really tired I had been out here for hours.
"Keep going Nathan you're almost done." Dan said. I felt relief go through me knowing I wasn't going to be out here all night. I had made 48 now and I shot my next one too quickly and it rimmed out of the hoop and bounced over to my dad.
He picked it up and threw it back at me with a lot of force that I barely caught it. He walked over to me and stood right in front of me.
I was confused
and I'd let it all out to find
that I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
"Nathan what the hell was that?" Dan yelled angrily at me. I shrugged a little scared and started to say that I just missed one. I didn't think it was that big of a deal.
"It just rimmed out." I said softly.
"Yes it did now you have to start over and make 100 more before you can go anywhere!" He said and started to walk back to where he was.
"But dad its Tim's birthday!" I tried to reason with him. Tim was my best friend.
"What did you just say?" He asked as he walked back over to stand right in front of me towering over me is more like it.
I was scared and he knew it.
When all the vacancy the words revealed
is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
nothing to loose
He just looked at me with disgust before slapping me right across the face. I was stunned and trying really hard not to cry. I couldn't look away from his face. He bent down and grabbed my face with one hand and put his finger right in front of my face.
"Now you listen to me I don't care if it's Tim's birthday or if it's your birthday you will make 100 more free throws before I will even consider letting you go anywhere do you understand me?" He yelled at me.
I was too scared and I just nodded, but as I would soon learn if I didn't say what he wanted it just made things worse. He threw me down to the ground and I scraped my arms on the pavement.
Just stuck, hollow and alone
and the fault is my own and the fault is my own
Dan kneeled down and punched me once in the face before grabbing me by my hair and dragging me to the free throw line.
"Now make your shots Nathan we don't have all day." He said.
My hands were shaking and my face was throbbing I felt like crying and I let a few tears fall on my cheeks but I wiped them away quickly so he wouldn't see. I made my free throws, but by then it was to late to go to Tim's party so I called and apologized and we were able to hang out the next day.
My dad didn't even apologize to me or say anything he acted like he didn't do anything. We ate in silence since my mom was out of town on business. My face was red and my arms had scrapes on them. I would lie if anyone asked what was wrong. Little did I know that I would be a pro at lying and acting like nothing was wrong at least in front of everyone else.
I took a shower and went upstairs to go to bed. I laid there trying to figure out why my dad did that. He had never touched me before he seemed so mad. I just hoped that it was a one-time thing. That thought was enough to get me to fall asleep, but I knew deep down that it was just wishful thinking and I was right. More tears fell down my face as I slept trying to escape the fear of him
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I hated thinking about that day. It was one of the worst days of my life. It started this hellhole of a life that I was living. Sometimes I thought about ending all of it. The beatings, the verbal abuse, the pressure and pain just take a bottle of pills like my mom and I could escape everything.
I'm not saying I wouldn't be missed like I said earlier I owned this place, but no one knew. No one understood. I put my hands in my face thinking about killing myself was stupid. I could never go through with that and I only had two years left at home then I could get out forever. Leave Tree Hill and never come back. That was the only thing that kept me alive at this point knowing I could get out when Dan wasn't around and make sure he would never find me.
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
I stood up and lifted my shirt and looked at the scars on it. There were only a few from not wearing a shirt when Dan came home or when he threw a bottle of whiskey at me and it broke on my rib cage.
I was now looking at the bruises. They were quite noticeable not as bad as other times but bad enough. That was one reason I was so quick in the showers after practice so no one would see and the look I gave everyone said don't even think about talking to me or even looking at me.
My mind flashed to another part of practice after Whitey yelled at me to do those push ups when I was looking at Brooke. What the hell was that? I didn't know but looking at her for some reason made it a little bit better. She looked like she understood but how would she know?
I shook my head still looking at my stomach. I hadn't looked at my face since this morning I wondered what it looked like, but I could tell anyone else what I told Tim about falling out of the shower.
I was still holding my shirt up letting the wind blow against it. I was so sore and the cool breeze felt good on my aching body. My thoughts went back to Brooke. God she is beautiful, but I always knew that. Why was I all of a sudden noticing her now? Maybe I liked the way she stood up to me in the lunch room no one ever has the balls to say anything mean to me or tell me off.
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
I could see why she and Peyton are best friends I mean they both have tempers and are strong. I will admit that the thing I like about Peyton she is strong and doesn't take any shit from anyone, well except me. But Brooke doesn't take any of my crap and I kind of liked that. I smirked thinking about that. I looked back down and got lost in the different colors of my stomach.
They weren't a deep purple, they were more blue and yellow. Most people think that if you fall down in a game and get a nice bruise that they are cool and show it off. I would beat everyone in that category, but no one would ever know why. I was so lost in thought I didn't hear anyone drive up or get out of the car or even walk up to me.
My shirt was still up and only when I heard a gasp did I look up to see the girl that had consumed my thoughts only a few minutes ago.
What do I have but negativity
Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me
Brooke stood in front of me with her eyes wide and her mouth open slightly surprised looking.
"Nathan what happened?" She asked concerned and walked right in front of me.
I immediately let go of the bottom of my shirt and backed up my eyes were guarded and I was pissed at my self for not noticing she was there. But I also noticed that she called me Nathan, which she hasn't done in years.
"Nothing." My voice was hard and I was trying to get her to leave or stop asking questions.
She obviously didn't believe me. "That's not nothing let me see." She said reaching for my shirt and I backed up again. She did look genuinely concerned, but no I wouldn't let her know anything.
Nothing to loose
nothing to gain, hollow and alone
and the fault is my own and the fault is my own
"Davis get the hell away from me!" I yelled and I could tell that my sudden raise of voice surprised her but this wasn't any of her business.
Her own eyes grew darker and I could tell that she was mad now.
"No Scott those bruises were bad now let me see I'm trying to help you here not like you deserve it!" She yelled almost as loudly as I did. She reached for my shirt again.
"Brooke stop it okay I'm fine this morning I fell getting out of the shower and now I'm all banged up." I lied hoping she would drop this and believe me.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain til its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
"Bull shit Scott you can't get that badly hurt just by falling!" She yelled knowingly.
"Yes you can I did now will you just leave me alone! What are you even doing here?" I yelled again this girl knew how to push my buttons without even trying.
"I come here sometimes when no one else is here to think is that alright with you Scott?" She asked sarcastically.
"Well someone else is here, me so can you please just leave and come back I was trying to think myself!" I said once again trying to get her to leave.
"Oh well that's a shock you actually thinking for yourself I'm surprised Tim or Vegas isn't here just telling you what to say!" She fired back angrily.
"Shut the fuck up Davis I can't help it if they follow me everywhere and at least I'm not some stupid slut!" I yelled at her knowing that was a low blow but didn't care.
"Oh your not fooling anyone Scott everyone knows that you cheat on Peyton constantly and I don't even know why she wastes her time with an ass hole like you! She deserves so much better and it's no wonder she is with Lucas all of the time he would treat her right!" Brooke yelled back and now I was seriously pissed off. Who did she think she was?
I will never know
myself until I do this on my own
and I will never feel
anything else, until my wounds are healed
"No your just pissed because Lucas doesn't give you the time of day that you are used to because he has way better taste and wants more than a dumb trashy one night stand!" I yelled and now we were about nose to nose. I saw fire in her eyes as she slapped me hard across the face.
I will never be anything
till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today
I was more than familiar with that move and I reacted the same way I always do. I just stood there motionless and no expression on my face waiting for the rest. I could tell that she was surprised when I didn't react. I was like a statue. Our faces were still inches a part, but I think that she was almost scared that I wasn't moving. My memory of the day on the driveway was still fresh in my mind and my eyes grew very dark.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
It took me another minute to realize that noting else was coming and I blinked back into reality and looked at her for a second. The fire was gone now it was replaced with something like sympathy but not quite. I know she doesn't feel completely bad about slapping me, but I think that my reaction freaked her out.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
"Sorry." I mumbled as I walked right past her just barely making contact with her as I did. But when I did I felt something I had never felt before it was like a spark. I kept walking without turning to look at her until I was in my car.
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
As I started the car she was staring at me with a look of confusion and curiosity. 'Just great' I thought if she starts asking more questions then I am going to keep lying to her and for some reason it's harder to lie to her. I pulled out and sped away I looked at the clock and it was almost 6:30. Dan would be pissed that I haven't checked in and now I am late for our practice. I rolled down the window to get some air on my cheek that was now burning from her hand. She is a lot stronger than I thought. She slapped the hell out of me. Thinking about that as messed up, as it was I smiled. She stood up to me again. This girl was something else and I liked it.
Somewhere I belongHey so I hope that you loved it and please review I would appreciate it so much!! The more reviews the faster the update thanks so much and that song is Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park they will probably have a lot of songs in this story!!