Notes:

Um this one isn't as crackish, but still silly.
Trigger warning: Problematic pregnancy.
Thanks everyone for the reviews and stuff! I love it when I get them.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

First trimester

Loki was nauseous and yet hungry. It was a miserable state to be in. Having children was a wonderful thing but it didn't always feel good. Luckily, The Avengers were actually being helpful to him. Natasha, for some strange reason, was overly attentive. She gave him crackers and ginger ale and held his hair while he puked. Doom didn't the first time but that just resulted in them both throwing up all over the bathroom.

Bruce was very sweet too, going out to buy food when Doom was out being a leader of a whole nation. Loki silently wished he was with the Avengers for the whole of all his pregnancies. They were so attentive. Each Avenger bought something different, even if it was just Barton keeping Loki company on the days he had no energy to get out of bed.

He'd have to remember this the next time he tried to take over the world.

Tony monitored him often, programming the talking entity they called Jarvis to monitor Loki's heartbeat, temperature, blood pressure and glucose levels with a green watch Stark designed just for him. Sometimes, just to mess with them, he'd hold his breath to make his heart rate change and watch as Tony would come running out of his work room to check on him.

"Pregnant jerks are still jerks." Tony told him the last time he did it. "Remind me to tell you about the boy that cried wolf later."

Truth be told, it was nice to have so much attention. Thor was constantly out buying things for Loki and the baby. He would shop at different realms and find only the best for his new niece or nephew. It was nice to have their attention without them having to fight.

About eleven weeks into his pregnancy, Loki was just starting to get used to being in the Avenger Towers. They would routinely eat together and they would share stories about what villain they defeated, what foods Loki should stay away from and the most common problems of Latveria, which surprisingly wasn't Doom going around messing with superheroes. Turned out trade was difficult with a supervillain.

It was in that eleventh week when Loki first started noticing some pain. That, in itself, was not unusual as a few of Loki's other pregnancies had some discomfort. But as the week passed on the pain seemed to be getting worse. By that Friday Loki was noticeably slower and seemed much more fatigued than usual.

He felt heavy, like a ton of bricks was in his stomach. He was also strangely warm all over and flushed. Jarvis had alerted Tony to Loki's heartrate and blood pressure being slightly high and Doom was called in from Latveria incase his magic was needed.

They were all gathered in the livingroom watching a move and Loki was vaguely aware of Doom giving a speech about the reasons why Latveria was the best land in all the lands when Loki suddenly became thirsty.

He stood up and slowly made his way to the fridge pulling out the apple juice. He uncapped it and started gulping it down when he felt a sudden pull on his insides. The juice dropped from his hands and he groaned bending over.

In midsentence Doom turned towards the kitchen instinctively knowing that something was wrong. He started towards Loki's direction. "Loki, are you alright?"

Loki's breathing deepened and he was sweating but he nodded. "Yes." But a sudden harsh pain ripped through his stomach and Loki screamed out.

"Sir." Jarvis suddenly spoke. "Loki's heart rate is 198."

Tony jumped up from the couch and ran to Loki's doubled over form. "Can you walk? We have to get you to the lab."

Loki nodded but didn't move.

Doom grabbed him. "Meet us in the lab."

The Avengers ran to the elevator as Doom teleported Loki away.

Once in the lab, Tony hooked Loki up to monitors and did an ultrasound as the god laid on his side on the bed groaning miserably.

"What is it?" Doom asked trying to use his magic to find what was ailing his friend. "Is Doom's baby ok? Is Loki ok?"

Tony stared at the monitor for a few moments trying to figure out the baby's odd appearance. "Well, it seems, the baby's skin is hardening."

Loki groaned. "Oh Norns, my baby is metal!"

Bruce sighed. "We're going to have to take out the baby. There is no way Loki's body is going to be able to hold a metal baby.

"No!" Doomed yelled. "Loki is a god." He placed his hand on Loki's belly and chanted. The Avengers watched on the monitor as Loki's insides seem to harden but remain functional.

Slowly, Loki uncurled as the pain lessened. "Doom, you are a walking dead man."

Doom smiled. "Doom did not mean for this to happen."

Bruce moved closer to the screen. "That is amazing. You strengthened his insides."

"Doom is awesome." Doom explained. "Thus, Doom's baby will be awesome."

Biology was not Tony's specialty and he worried if Loki, even with being a god and new stronger insides, would be able to carry the child. "Do you think Loki can carry it fully?"

Bruce looked over Loki's vitals. "Everything is returning to normal. For the time being, they both seem healthy. We should be sure one of us stays here though. In case things change."

Doom nodded and turned back to Loki. "You should get rest. Doom will go to Latveria and get supplies. You will not be alone in this my friend."

Loki nodded feeling fatigue set on him. It was comforting to know that Doom was there for him. Though the Avengers were sweet, Loki was a magic being, as was Doom and therefore, their baby. There was only so much their technology could help.

Loki settled on the bed and sighed. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep but he was suddenly awake again and the room was dark. Next to him was a glass of water and a sandwich with a note. "Doom commands you to eat this sandwich and drink this water. Not a crumb should he left."

Loki smiled and lifted the sandwich to his mouth. Just because he didn't take instruction well, Loki left a small piece of crust on the plate.

"How are you feeling?"

Loki looked up to see Natasha walking in dressed in her Widow suit. She pulled up a chair and looked him over as he responded. "Better."

"Doom is a good friend."

Loki nodded. "I have very few of them."

"So, you guys tried to impregnate Amora? Why didn't you just do it the old fashioned way?"

Loki snorted. "Thank you! It would have been a lot less messy. I think she doesn't want to deal with a father figure in her child's life."

"Will you give the baby to her when you birth it?" She questioned. "Have you told her?"

"She was the first person I told."

"What did she say?" Natasha pressed. "Was she excited?"

"She laughed for almost an hour. I asked her if she wanted to raise the child, but she told me she had changed her mind and didn't want a child anymore." Loki sighed. "The minds of women have confounded me for years. And in either case, it might be for the best. Had the baby been implanted in her, she would have died once the baby's skin turned to metal."

Natasha nodded looking over Loki for a moment. Inside of him was a baby, magically implanted in him and growing in his stomach. He would birth it, though she still wasn't sure how that was going to happen.

His pregnancy made her realize, she would never have one of her own. The way the males on her team catered to him, made her think that none of them really thought they would have children either.

"What is it like?" She asked, wanted to experience this once in a life time moment through Loki.

"What?" Loki asked after drinking down the glass of water.

"Having life inside of you?"

Loki smiled and placed a hand over his stomach. "It is like nothing I can describe. My children are the only things I know I've done right. Even this one, though conceived by two evil men, can be something neither one of us are."

"I don't think either one of you are evil. Doom could have split, inside he's going to settle his affairs to stay with you. And you were willing to be a surrogate for your friend. These don't seem like things evil people do."

Loki shrugged. "Do you plan to have children?"

Natasha gave a small sad smile. "No. Um… I am not able to have children. They… it would get in the way of the job."

Loki looked at her a few moments blankly. "It does. Both Doom and I had plans and they didn't all involve each other. But sometimes, things happen and sometimes those things are more important than the job."

Natasha liked her lips. "Well there's no going back now."

"A few moments ago, you told me despite my evil deeds, I am doing a good thing. Now you are telling me that because of your good deeds, the most wonderful thing a breeder can do with its life will never be yours."

"Life can be unfair Loki."

Loki snorted. "Don't I know it." He reached over and grabbed her hand placing on his stomach. "Madam Widow, in my stomach is a metal baby. Do you feel that lump?"

She nodded.

"That's my metal baby. I've killed people and yet I've got a metal baby in my belly, stealing that sandwich right from my stomach. Already it is taking after Doom! Taking things that don't belong to it!"

Natasha laughed.

"When this metal baby is out of me, I will beat Doom until he's liquid. Not because I don't love the baby, but because it's unfair that I was the most unwilling and hesitant in impregnating Amora and yet I am the one most inconvenienced. Beautiful things come from ugliness all the time. Whatever ugliness was done to you, something good will come out of it."

000

Bruce went with Doom telling everyone he was just curious to see Latveria. It was actually a nice place considering it was ruled by a supervillain.

But that wasn't the only reason why Bruce tagged along.

Since the initial shock of finding out Loki was having his baby, Doom seemed different. He was focused, not on takin over The Goblin's lair or taking over new territories, but on securing that Loki was healthy. He helped give Tony an idea of Loki's physiology making it possible for the watch to correctly give out Loki's vitals. He even helped pay for its construction

In short, Doom was becoming a proud father.

"You must be excited." Bruce told him as they flew in the private jet back home. "To be haveing a child."

Doom nodded. "Doom admits he was a bit surprised. But now, Doom looks forward to seeing what we created. But…"

"But…" Bruce pressed.

"Doom worries for Loki. He is my friend and he suffers because of Doom's mistake." Doom said glaring out the window. "Doom has not had a friend before Loki."

Bruce nodded understand what Doom was saying. He imagined if he had someone birthing his child, he would be worried for their safety as well.

It was surprising to hear Doom talk about Loki as a friend. He remembered sitting with Tony watching Loki annoy the crap out of Doom while he was in captivity. They never thought they become friends, much less have one of them insert a baby in the other using magic.

"Do you have children?" Doom's question bought Bruce out of his thoughts.

"No, it's… impossible. You know, with the other guy." He tried to explain.

Doom nodded. "Being super, whether a hero or villain, comes at a great price."

Bruce smiled sadly. "It does."

"Though Doom might try to kill you after the child is born, Doom want you to know I am sorry for what you have to sacrifice to deal with people like Doom and Loki."

Bruce laughed. "Or you could just stop trying to take over the world."

Doom snorted. "I said I'm sorry not that I am having a life changing moment. Gees, superheroes are never satisfied."

Notes:

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