I'm terribly sorry for not updating, my laptop broke and I took it in for repair and only just got it back 3 days ago. Not of my chapters are already written and I have revision to do but I think the next chapter will be up within the next week and a half. So sorry *cute kitten eyes*

Brian's POV:

Just when I get the chance to show him how good it can be with me, Mickey had to show up at the loft. He didn't stop banging until I had to reluctantly remove myself from Sunshine and answer the door. He's sitting here now, in the middle of Sunshine and me, and he WONT GO AWAY! He's been yapping away non-stop ever since he heard that Justin was the one who made some comic book called RAGE, but most of all he's been keeping all of Sunshine's attention and just will not let up!

I want his attention, I want to talk to him, I want to make his eyes sparkle with excitement, I want to hold his hand, his hips, his face, his waist, and just when I look up at him now, I realise that I don't want those things… I think I might need them. And I want him to need them to.

He makes my stomach hurt in the best way possible and my finger tips tingle when he's close to me. I absolutely love that feeling and he's the only one that can ignite it. I think that's why I held him in Babylon instead of dragging him to the backroom, why I held him in the diner when he gave a little bit away, and why, when he arrived, I just had to take him in my arms as if I'd known him for ten years and he'd been away for a one.

I know he has The Boyfriend and I know he's important to him, I can't just try and seduce him because my feelings are confusing me and I kinda want him around. Plus, I don't want him to feel the guilt he will if he cheats on The Boyfriend. I never want him to feel bad about himself.

That's why I'll wait until we're both ready. I'm not because I'm still fucking everything that moves and I know that if we were to start something now, then I would destroy it right after our first time and I don't want that, I finally feel like I've found the person that I'm supposed to lo-Whoah!

Mickey's still talking to him. From where I'm sitting I can see the back of his head and Sunshine's perfect face. Mickey's head is bobbing up and down as he speaks while I just sit here thinking of the ways that I can kill him without Sunshine freaking out about it.

I get up and move over to Sunshine while Mickey's in mid sentence. I want Sunshine to myself, this was supposed to be our evening and Mickey's hand is a bit too close to Sunshine's bare leg for my liking. I grip both of Sunshine's hands with mine and pull him up from the sofa. All the while he's protesting and trying to remove his hands from mine.

"Brian! I'm talking to Michael."

"So?" I shrug. He's pouting and I want to kiss his bottom lip. So I do and he moves his head back a little. I don't think he's done reprimanding me.

"So? Have you never heard of manners?" he looks positively delicious.

"It's Mickey. He's known me since we were in high school. He's used to it by now." I raise my eyebrow and dare him to challenge me on the knowledge of MY best friend.

And then I see something I don't particularly like. "Mickey! Stop it!"

"What?" He sounds completely innocent of course but when he looks at me I know. His eyes have probably been trained on Sunshine's ass since he stood up and it's irritating the shit out of me.

"You know what!" I put my hands on Sunshine's ass as a way of protecting it and he blushes when I do. I love that I have that affect on him. Whenever I see a way to justifiably touch him (in my terms), I do. I can't help it.

He puts his hands on my chest to push me off and I hold him to me by putting my hands around his lower back and smile a cheeky smile at him. When he realises he's not getting away he laughs and I can tell he's amazed at how comfortable we are together even though we only just met. I know the feeling.

I walk with him to the kitchen, in the same position, with him walking backwards the entire time. So the trust thing isn't an issue I guess. We finally get there and I pick him up with my hands under his ass (see, the touching is completely justifiable) and pop him down on the counter. "Since we had to cancel our dinner reservations, I thought that I could maybe make us something."

"BRIAN KINNEY! Offering to cook for another human being! My God! I am astounded!" Michael really needs to quite the fuck down. He just got off the sofa to join us, no doubt, and has a surprised look on his face.

"Why is that such a surprise?" Justin asks confusion evident in his voice. He obviously doesn't understand that I'm supposed to be the big bad wolf in the land of gay fairy tales.

When I open my mouth to answer my voice sounds curiously like Michaels "Well he's Brian Kinney." Like that explains everything. I guess it sort of does actually. Then Mickey goes on. "Brian is an asshole. Brian Fucking Kinney rims, rams and fucks and after he's done he leaves satisfied without a care in the world for what his trick is feeling. He gets in and out with the maximum of pleasure and minimum of bullshit. Heteros tell themselves they're in love because that's the only way they can get any, according to Brian Kinney, and since he has no problem with getting laid he doesn't believe in love."

All throughout his little frikin' speech I see the expression in Sunshines' face change from curiosity to complete and utter…. There's not even a word for it. He looks upset, disappointed, surprised and shocked. He obviously wasn't expecting this news about who I am but I guess it's true. I have lived my life that way but I'm getting to be more mature now and maybe I want to give this whole being 'grown up' thing a go. But Sunshine's the only one I want to do that for… I mean with...I mean …never mind!

He looks straight at me; deep into my eyes likes he's searching for something. "I knew how you treated your tricks. But I didn't know that's how you felt about love." He looks at me like he wants to ask something; probably why I feel this way.

We stare into each others eyes for a while until Mickey's phone starts to ring. Turns out the professor wants to go to bed early if the smile on Michael's face is anything to go by. He leaves us to it with a quick 'cya!' and is on his way. As soon as he's gone Sunshine takes my head in both of his hands, I love his soft hands on me. "I use to think that love was bullshit too." He's smiling and I don't get it. He doesn't strike me as someone who has a reason to not believe in something so natural and important to everyone else. "I grew up foolishly thinking that my parents love for me was unconditional. Then one day I tell them I like dick and I find myself kicked to the curb." Wow! I was not expecting that. His sunny disposition doesn't exactly let your mind wander in that direction.

"But I didn't let it hinder me, so you shouldn't either, you'll find someone who will make you believe in love again." And just when I think we're getting somewhere… "Just like I have with Will." And there's that frikin' smile again.

Do you guys think that the story is even making sense because I've been away from it for a while so I'm not sure if I'm being all that consistent?