"What are you talking about?" Jasper asked.
"Well...I had two brothers." I started.
"Really? Wait had?" Alice asked.
"Yes had." I could feel the tears forming. "I wasn't always clumsy. And I wasn't always an only child. I had an older brother named Ryan who would have been 21 two weeks from now and, a younger brother named Aaron who would have been 11 on Saturday. But you see their death was my fault."
"I don't understand." Rosalie said as she came to sit next to me. Lately Rosalie hadn't been so..evil she was nice now but I didn't understand why though.
"It was a Sunday and we were at church, I know right. Me? Church? any way we were leaving and a black car pulled up to the church..." I was reliving the memory I stared at nothing...I felt sorry for Jasper.
"A man stepped out and pulled a gun on us...he had aimed his gun at me and I didn't move..I could hear everyone yelling for me to run but I couldn't. Ryan told me to run..but it was like I didn't hear him. The next thing I knew The man had pulled the trigger and Ryan was dead at my feet.. because I didn't move because I didn't listen Ryan is now dead..."
"Bella love that's not your fault..you weren't the one who shot him...how could you even think that?" Edward told me. I was crying again.
"Aaron was behind me and before I could react. Aaron was in front of me holding on to my leg for protection...three shots were fired and Aaron was dead. I had been shot in both of my ankels. The man took a few more shots...church members ended up dead everywhere. Only my mother and Phil who had been just coming out of the church had been the only one's in my family that were spared of their lives. The man...thinking I was dead drove away. So you see remeber Edward when I told you my number wans't up in Phoniex boy was that a lie." I told him.
"So why..are you so depressed now?" Alice asked...not being able too make sense of it.
"Because of this." Is aid climing out of edward's lap and pulling the box from under neath the bed. I put its contents on the bed. "These damned videos, and photos and birthday presents that they gave me. Renee' sent that all up here. I don't know why...what made her think that I could handel it if she couldn't I don't know."
"Because your a strong woman...and you have us." Rosalie said.
"Would it bother you so much if we watched some of those videos?" Edward asked me carefully. I shook my head no.
"Are you hungry Bella...I could go get you some McDonalds." Emmett asked. I started sobbing.
"Aaron loved McDOnalds." I whispered/
"Emmett!" They all groaned.
"Sorry."
"No thanks Emmett.I just ate." I said. We popped the video in the VHS player that CHarlie had recently given me along with a new TV. This was the one I had watched the other day. I knew where this was leading this was the day it had happened and someone had caught everything on tape.
On screen.
A young Bella of about 10 years old was singing in the church choir.
"We sing a song in the sanctucary! We sing a song to give you the Glory! We sing our song to give you the praise and we will praise you for the rest of our days"! They sang. Young Bella stepped out from the choir stand and went to the she began to sing:
Who
taught the sun where to stand in the morning? Well I know my Redeemer lives The very same God that spins things
in orbit Now I know my Redeemer lives That the
payment for my sin And I know my Redeemer
lives I know my
Redeemer
and Who told the
ocean you can only come this far?
and Who showed the moon where
to hide 'til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?
I know my Redeemer lives:
All of creation testifies
This life within me cry
I know
my Redeemer lives, yeah.
runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the
same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered
death to bring me victory
I
know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life
within we cry
I know my Redeemer, He lives
To take away my
shame
And He lives forever, I'll proclaim
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's
alive and
There's an empty grave.
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let
this life within me cry
I know my Redeemer,
I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
I
know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer
lives
Because He lives I can face tomorrow
I Know I know
He
lives He lives yeah, yeah I spoke with him this morning
He lives
He lives, the tomb is empty,
He lives I gotta tell everybody
Everyone clapped.
Edward paused the movie.
"Y..you can sing?" He asked me.
"I guess. I stopped singing after they died.. I used to take ballet too..." I told him. He pressed play.
The scene switched to outside where a gun shot was heard. Young Bella stood frozen with fear as a man leveled his gun at her. A young blond man jumped in front of her as the man fired and layed dead on the ground. A young little black haired boy clutched young Bella's leg. Minutes later they bother fell to the ground and the man jumped in the car and sped away.
Edward stopped the movie. I was crying and I was so glad I had all these people to comfort me.
"I'm sorry..I should've checked to see th-" Edward started.
"We don't label them, mom always said that the movie that we needed to see most would always be the one we picked first blind folded."
"I don't get it." Emmett said. I rolled my eyes as I whiped some tears away. Edward held me tighter.
On screen
Young Bella of about ten years old stood on stage at the school auditorium. It had a big banner over the stage that read school talent show.
Tell me babe, how many do I shed my tears?
Every Heart Every Heart is not a gentle yet
Shall I do? I can never say my loneliness
Every Heart doesn't know so what to say oh what to do
(I) was afraid of darkness cause I felt that I was left alone
So I prayed for help to (the) distant million stars
Round & Round the planets revolve round the sun
And we always seek after love and peace Forever more
Growing growing woe baby we can work it out
Look up at the sky Every Heart is shining all today
Show me now, What kind of smile do I come across
Every Heart Every Heart can take a step towards the dreams
All of us what to take a lasting happiness
Whenever you feel sad, I wanna hold you & give you a sound sleep
Someday Every Hearts gonna free and easy
We have peace of mind
Someday all the people find the way to love
Goes & Goes the time goes on we are not alone
We live on together and we will find some precious things
Sometime we will smile sometime we will cry somehow
Don't forget believing yourself - Tomorrow's never die
There is the warm heart places on my mind
In my earlist day's there and it's so sweet
There are many stars they have talk with me so kind
They say yes always time's a friend of mine so shine
Round & Round the planets revolve round the sun
And we always seek after love and peace Forever more
Growing growing woe baby we can work it out
Look up at the sky Every Heart is shining all today
Goes & Goes the time goes on we are not alone
We live on together and we will find some precious things
Sometime we will smile sometime we will cry somehow
Don't forget believing yourself - Tomorrow's never die
Bella sang. At the end everyone clapped.
All the Cullen's turned to look at me with shock.
"Would you give us the pleasure of singing for us?" Jasper asked me.
Edward glared at him..
"No Edward its fine. What do you want me to sing?"
"How about...Before he cheats by Carrie Under wood." Alice suggested.
"No..what about I will Be by Leona Lewis?" Rosalie suggested.
"Sure why not?" I suggested.
"Wait no! I wanna suggest a song.. he he...what about Once upon a december?" Emmett suggested. We all looked at him with shocked faces.
"Uh absolutely not." I told him. He pouted. "I've got it..
Do
you remember me Well, I'm all grown up now So here's my lifelong wish No more
lives torn apart As children we
believed Well heaven only knows No more lives
torn apart What is this illusion called the innocence of youth No more lives torn apart This is my grown up
christmas list"
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With
childhood fantasies
And still
need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can
dream
My grown up christmas
list
Not for myself
But for a world in need
That wars would never start
and wars would
never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would
have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never
end
This is my grown up christmas list
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped
beneath our tree
That packages and
bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
That wars would never start
And time would heal all
hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always
win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas
list
Maybe
only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
(there'd
be)
That wars would never
start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a
friend
And right would always win
And love would never end,
oh
This is my grown up christmas list
I was suprised that I was able to hold back tears. It was getting easier now to remeber them...
"That was beautiful.." They all complemented. I blushed
"Hey kids! I think you should stay here for tonight. There is a snow storm out here!" Charlie called up the stairs. I looked at Edward.
" We wouldn't want to impose." Edward told me. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled.
"Well...alright." Edward said. Alice ran down the stairs and told Charlie about it. Emmett lept out the window.
"I've got the bags!" he said as he rushed out. I rolled my eyes stupid, stupid Emmett.
I spent the rest of the night showing the Cullen's the things that my mother had sent me..it felt good to get things off my shoulders
"Bella...." The voice whispered...uh-oh. Every Cullen went into defensive mode.
"Stop Aaron your going to scare them.." Another voice said.
"But I want my sister back.." The voice was on the edge of tears.
"Aaron?" I questioned quietly. How silly, I was talking to air.
"Bella!" The voice said excitedly. " I missed you so much! Grandma said she found away that you could come with us." I was sure that was Aaron.
"What do you mean come with you?" Jasper asked.
"Well she can become a ghost, or spirit or whatever..or die." Aaron said. Suddenly the image of my little brother was in front of me. I could feel his hand as he held mine. The Cullen's tensed even more if that was possible.
"I missed you soo much." Aaron said hugging me.
"Aaron..I can't I can't come with you." I said..as I hugged him back.
"Oh sure you can..Ryan! Tell Bella all about it."Aaron said as he situated himself on my lap. I could feel his weight.
"First of all who are these people.? Bella I thought we made this clear..no boys in your room!"
"What I've never even had a boyfriend before?!" I shrieked.
"Oh..yeah I forgot. I never did understand that."
"But I have one now." I said.
"Really?"
"Really..Ryan,
Aaron this is Edward, my boyfriend, and his brothers and
sisters...Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett." I felt almost
giddy except for the fact they wanted me to join them in death.