I'M SO SORRRYYYY! Saying I would update the next day was a downright lie wasn't it?... :( I majorly overestimated my abilities!
This chapter is kind of what inspired me to write the whole thing, I was listening to Tell Me That You Love Me one day and I imagined Jade singing it and then I imagined how hard it would be for her to sing it whilst broken up with Beck and so said story was born. I tried really hard to write how I imagine the song sounding if Jade sang it.. let me know how I did with that. It was really hard to mix the lyrics in with the story and convey it to you all what I imagined it to be like. Enjoy :D
Disclaimer: I don't own victorious
The school hall was pretty packed. With 3 classes from the high school along with teachers and students from the middle school there must have been at least 150 people in the room. Advanced guitar was performing first and the remaining high school students sat at the side of the hall to watch along with the middle schoolers. Beck had been forced to take the seat next to Jade after they both entered the hall last and an awkward silence lingered between them. Both wondered silently to themselves how they became this. They used to be in sync; they could calm each other when emotions ran high; they would know exactly what the other was thinking. But right now, although they were merely inches away, it felt like they were miles from each other and only growing further apart.
After a brief introduction by the Principal of the middle school, Advanced guitar began their showcase. Many different genres were showcases on both electric and acoustic guitar and everyone in the room was dancing and singing along happily. Robbie and 2 girls in his class did a performance of Travelin' Soldier by the Dixie Chicks. It was an outstanding version and everyone cheered loudly at the end.
Both Beck and Jade visibly stiffened when a girl from the year below them took to the stage and announced she was performing an acoustic version of I'm with you by Avril Lavigne. It had been their song. They had kissed to it, danced to it, made love to it. Having made no secret that this was their song, Tori, Cat and Andre all turned their heads to gage their reactions. Jade suddenly found the ceiling fascinating whereas Beck opted to stare at the back of the room, glancing at his phone every few seconds
Jade thought her prayers had been answered when Sikowitz called the Senior Acting class backstage half way through the song. As soon as Beck left, Jade let go of the breath she'd been holding in and relaxed a little. Her heart was still beating over-time and she wasn't sure how she was holding herself together, but she was and that was enough for now. Jade hardly noticed Cat's tiny hand taking hold of her own. For the whole of 10 seconds she found it comforting until she realised what she was doing and snatched her hand back.
Senior Acting put on a short production of a very philosophical play to do with consciousness and the mind. Both Cat and Tori were extremely confused throughout the whole thing which Jade found both irritating and amusing. When it was finally Advanced songwriting's turn to perform, their class waited backstage as Anthony took to the stage to introduce them.
'Hi guys, coming up next we'll be performing some original songs. This is our advanced songwriting class so if you are as amazing at writing lyrics as these guys then I hope to see you in my class in a few years. First up is the very talented Andre Harris.' Anthony turned to Andre and welcomed him to the stage.
Andre was clapped onto the stage and he gave a small wave as he took his seat at the piano and began to sing his latest song he'd been working on. Cat, Tori and Jade watched from the side. Although Tori and Cat were absorbed in the song, Jade couldn't help but notice the way Anthony kept catching her eye. She tried to shake it off but she could sense he was up to something.
Andre finished his song and the audience applauded loudly. Andre stood up ready to leave but Anthony quickly stepped back on to the stage and motioned to him to stay seated.
'Okay! The next person i'd like to welcome to the stage is one of Hollywood Arts most talented students. She wrote this song when she was just 16 and has continued to impress me with her talents since then. The ability to convey your thoughts through a song is a beautiful gift, and sometimes we need a little reminder how special we are. So please put your hands together for Jade West.'
'No, no, no' Jade exclaimed, shaking her head horrified. Her entire class looked towards her as she glared at Anthony ferociously.
'Go on Jade' Tori whispered to Jade who continued to glare at her teacher and gave her a nudge in the direction of the stage
'Don't touch me! I can't even remember the songs I wrote when I was 16, what is he trying to do?!' Jade shouted angrily.
'You'll know this one Jade' Anthony appeared next to her and pressured her towards the stage handing her a microphone.
'No, NO, NOO! You can't force me!' Jade shouted as Anthony walked her forwards. Jade crossed her arms in annoyance as she was given a final push on to the stage. The audience was staring at her confused and out of the corner of her eye she could see Beck and Robbie watching intently.
'Do you know what she's singing?' Robbie asked Beck confused, 'I didn't even know she wrote songs'
'She's amazing' Beck mumbled as he watched his ex girlfriend looking into the audience with a death glare. He could tell even if no one else could that she was still upset. He could tell from the way she was anxiously pulling at her necklace and kept looking up at the ceiling. It looked to most people like she was bored, but Beck knew her well enough to know that when she did that, she was trying to disconnect from her feelings.
Jade turned to Andre who just shrugged innocently. He didn't know anything about it until just then either and Jade walked over to the piano to look at the sheet music Anthony had conveniently left there. She stared at the piece music for a few seconds in disbelief before shaking her head and saying in a deep voice.. 'No.'
Jade stormed to the side of the stage but Anthony had already anticipated her reaction and blocked her from leaving. She was forced to step back on to the stage where Andre was looking at her sympathetically. Just the thought of singing this song hurt. She wanted to run away so badly but there was no escape. Rolling her eyes she walked back over to the piano and gave Andre instructions.
'Way, way slower and change this section to a minor. I hate it being so happy' Jade ordered Andre, who nodded and scribbled a little on the sheet music. By now the audience was talking quietly amongst themselves wondering what was taking so long.
'Hey!' Jade shouted causing the audience to fall silent 'Yeah so I wasn't supposed to sing this today so don't expect it to be good' Jade then closed her eyes and stood still centre stage. Andre took this moment of silence to be his key to start and began the introduction to the song. Playing it slower made each chord more deliberate and the minor key changed the tone of the song completely. Nothing like when Andre and Tori performed it together 2 years ago.
The situation turned around enough to figure out
That someone else has let you down
Tell me that you love me was a romantic song, but the way Jade was singing it was more like a sad, regretful ballad. The room was silent as they became hypnotised by her voice. Suddenly Tell Me That You Love Me had doubled in emotion and as Jade sang the lyrics, she couldn't help but glance at Beck.
Becks was experiencing a variety of different emotions, from shock, to sadness, to happiness, to love. Never once had it crossed his mind that Jade might have wrote this song, but as he listened to Jade singing the lyrics he couldn't believe he hadn't realised. Jade had asked him all those year ago at the meal, what he thought of the song and he'd wondered why Jade suddenly had an interest in anything Tori did. Tori and Andre must have known who wrote the song... why had noone told him?
So many times I don't know why
But I know we can make it as long as you say it
Jade couldn't hold back and laughed a little at the irony of it all... they hadn't made it. Placing a hand on her forehead and pacing around the stage she tried not to think about it but her heart was racing in her chest and she wasn't sure.. no, she was sure she wasn't going to get through this song.
So tell me that you love me
And tell me that I take your breath away
And maybe if you take one more than I would know for sure
There's nothing left to say
Tell me that you love me anyway
By this point tears were rolling down Jades cheeks. You wouldn't have noticed unless you were looking closely, but her friends were watching her intently. Cat and Tori looked towards each other guiltily for making her go up there and as Jade struggled through, Tori began mouthing along with her, willing Jade to continue as she watched the darker haired girl taking shaky breaths between lines and literally crumbling in front of their eyes.
Waking up beside yourself and what you feel inside
Is being shared with someone else
Nowhere to hide I don't know why
But I kn-
Jades voice finally broke. She couldn't stop the tears anyone and turned away from the audience. The audience made a confused noise but Andre quickly picked up the tune and sung out the chorus for her.
'Oh my god' Tori gasped, putting a hand over her mouth as she realised what was going on. Jade took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and regained composure for the end of the chorus.
And maybe if you take one more than I would know for sure
There's nothing left to say
Tell me that you love me anyway
Beck was looking away at this point unable to watch Jade breaking down in front of his eyes. The guilt was eating him inside.. Why hadn't he opened the stupid door? He loathed himself for ruining what they had, they weren't just boyfriend and girlfriend they were so much more than that.
Show me look what we found turn it around every day
I can hear what you say
Now I know why, I know we can, make-
Jade broke down completely this time and unable to continue singing walked towards the piano to Andre who abruptly stopped playing and pulled his broken-hearted friend tight into his arms, shielding her from the view of the hall. The audience began to mumble in confusion wondering what had caused the strong girl to get this upset.
'Shh, it's ok, don't worry, it's over, its fine' Andre whispered comfortingly as he held her shaking frame. Tori and Cat both ran up to her and helped guide her off the stage and into the corridor away from the hall. Jade had lost it at this point and was weeping as she curled into a ball and slid her back down the wall.
'Jadey?' Cat whimpered, keeping her distance. Tori looked anxiously towards the red-head with tears forming in her own eyes. Jade was really crying her soul and it was almost too painful to hear. Andre followed the girls out into the hallway concerned and bent down in front of his sobbing friend.
'Hey, hey.. Jade, please listen to me.. its Andre. It will be okay, I promise.'
Jade only continued to get more and more worked up and Andre stepped away defeated. The three friends just stood around, watching her cry her heart out. They knew they couldn't leave her like this but they had no idea what they should do. Just when they were beginning to lose all hope, Beck and Robbie burst through the doors of the hall and joined the group of friends. Beck's eyes were red from holding back tears and everyone looked at him anxiously.
'Jade?' Beck called out quietly. The pale girl turned her head so he couldn't see her face.
'Please, please just go away!' Jade shouted with as much strength as she could muster, but her voice had a tremble to it and uncontrollable sobs continues to wrack her body. Beck was silent for a second as his friends just watched and waited for his reaction. Taking a deep breath he stepped closer and crouched down next to her.
'No.' He said simply, shaking his head.
'What?' Jade stammered through her tears
'No.' Beck repeated, wrapping his arms around her. Jade tried to push him away but he was stronger and held on to her tight, keeping her encased in his arms. She pushed and hit him attempting to escape his hold but he still didn't let go and when she finally gave in she was exhausted.
'Settle settle' Beck hushed, holding her tight. Jade whimpered and pressed her face into the crook of his neck. She didn't have the strength to push him away anymore and she could literally feel herself falling apart.
'I'm so sorry Jade' Beck took a deep breath and wiped a tear away from his eye.. 'Please don't cry.'
Jade cried more but allowed him to pull her onto his lap and kiss the top of her head. Beck suddenly noticed their friends were still stood there watching them and he looked up at them pleadingly. Catching on, Tori motioned to everyone back inside the hall to give the couple a little privacy.
'It hurts Beck. Why does it have to hurt so much?' Jade whispered once everyone had left.
'I don't know' Beck whispered back honestly, as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. He hadn't realised breaking up would literally break them like this. He knew how much he'd been hurting but hadn't realised Jade was just as, if not more affected. They were broken and cut by the shards of what had been their relationship. And it didn't hurt any less as time passed, whoever said time heals was wrong. If anything the pain of the cruel, sharp, pieces only intensified each day. All Beck knew in that moment was that holding Jade healed his wounds, maybe not completely, but it sure as hell felt better than seeing her so upset.
'Babe.. please, can we try again? I need you, I love you so much' Beck pleaded nestling his face into her hair but Jade shook her head.
'Jade look at me, please?' Beck tried desperately. Slowly she brought her eyes up to reach his, filled with tears.
'I can't' She whispered
'What do you mean? Please Jade, I promise I won't let you down this time'
'Beck you've really, really hurt me. And i'm not saying this because I don't love you because I love you okay? I miss you to death. But I just don't think I can go through this again' Jade sobbed uncontrollably as Beck rubbed circles on her back comfortingly
'Okay, I-, I respect your decision' Beck said quietly, choking on his words. The lump in his throat had become too hard swallow and he let the tears roll slowly down his cheeks. They did nothing but hold each other for another half hour until Andre reemerged to warn the couple that the performances were over and everyone would be coming out soon. As Jade turned to leave, Beck grabbed her wrist to stop her but she looked up into his eyes pleadingly. If Beck knew anything about Jade, he knew not to question this look - so reluctantly he let her go. As soon as she was out of his sight, Beck felt a hole in him returning that he didn't even realise existed and once again he found himself entirely heartbroken.
When Beck reentered the hall, everyone watched him curiously. Tori gave him an encouraging smile - which was only fractionally reciprocated. Cat who hadn't stopped crying since returning to the hall only became more upset at the realisation that Jade wasn't coming back and Robbie hugged and whispered to her, trying to calm her down for Beck's sake. Their other classmates were also watching the fluffy haired boy, all wondering what was going on. But he didn't stay long enough for anyone ask. He grabbed his jacket and left without speaking to anyone. Because what was he supposed to say? There was nothing left to say.
:'(