Call It What You Want
In the Girl's Dormitory
Midnight
Still annoyed.
Well, it has been five hours since the Charms debacle. He has sent me four owls. I haven't read them but they are sitting there looking very unopened and not promising in the slightest. I am stuck between wondering what in the world he wants to say and not caring in the slightest what he wants to say. Which is working wonders on my nerves. I hate stress, and this is stressful.
I don't think I am really mad at him, just annoyed. If he wants to tell his father about us he can, I just felt ambushed. Like, not that Draco Malfoy knows Scorpius expects Ron Weasley to know. I am not ready for Ron Weasley to have a clue. So I am avoiding my boyfriend in hopes that this will just blow over without a thought. That suddenly Scorpius's dad will be hit over the head with a large boulder or hit with a memory erasing charm. Either way Scorpius will not expect me to tell my dad.
Ariel is walking around gloating about the depth of her relationship that she has with James. This is almost as annoying as Scorpius telling his father. I am sick of everything that happens with Scorpius and I being too 'immature' and 'shallow'. If I were a mean person I would turn and remind her that James gave her a necklace with the words "my boyfriend has the sexiest girlfriend" for her last birthday. Or that on my birthday last year he made my cake explode when I blew out the candles. Or that, apparently, in his last History of magic class he began to charm the miscellaneous objects on Binns' desk to dance thus distracting the class and now they are never going to remember anything about the end of the Goblin wars. Yes, James and Ariel make the most mature couple at Hogwarts if you ask me. (Did you pick up on the subtle sarcasm?)
I keep staring at those letters. Part of me wants to open them and stare at his handwriting. I already miss him. I am going to die this summer when I am going to be separated from him for months. Yet another reason to NOT tell my father. I would not only not see him for a few months but I would never see Scorpius the rest of my life. Yeah, I think I am fine with my dad ignorant of my dating situation.
Okay, I give in I need to know what he is saying.
Rosie-
I know you are mad at me, but you need to understand that I really, really want this whole thing to be over with. What if you dad finds out and he his just happy that you are happy? (I laughed out loud when I read that) Please tell him. My father took the shock quite well considering how much he hates your father.
Please tell him.
I love you,
Scorpius
I sighed. Scorpius is very naïve to think that my dad will just be happy that I am happy. Even the happy people get hurt by the mean people. That is what he would say, or at least something to that effect. I turned to the letter that arrived second.
Rosie,
Okay, I understand that you think that I did a very bad thing. But let me at least tell you how it happened. Two nights ago I wrote dad a letter telling him that I had something very important to tell him, but I needed to say it in person. The next day my dad apparated into Hogsmede and Headmaster McGonagall gave me permission to go and see him at the three broomsticks.
I told him that I had been seeing a girl for some time now and I thought he should know about it, so that this summer we could see each other. He nodded curtly at me. Then I told him I was seeing you.
I have to say, his reaction was funny. He did this strange twitch and spilled his firewiskey across the table. "Rosie Weasley. The daughter of the mudblood and the blood traitor?" It wasn't a question, but I nodded yes anyway. He turned a few shades of red, said nothing else then left. I didn't know what to say, so I just left to. He was outside and when I was beside him he turned to me, said a few choice words then left.
See? My dad is not mad at you, he is just pissed at me for betraying the "Malfoy Family Honor." Like I care. My dad might stew for a while, but my mother would never let him cut me off completely. If my family can take it that I am dating you then why would it be so hard for you to tell your family about me? Please seriously consider telling your parents. Please.
Even more love,
Scorpius
Stupid boy. There is no way my dad would do what his did. Mine would have a fit of seismic proportions. He would probably find a use for that crazy imploding Charm. The next one looked smaller than the second letter. I opened it, and I could tell by his handwriting that he was stressed at the moment when he wrote it. He had pushed the quill harder against the parchment and his penmanship was a bit messy.
Rosie,
Where are you? I just want to talk to you about what went wrong. Please leave your hiding place and come and talk to me. I will be in the Library where we study together. Please come and see me, we can talk. We don't even have to talk about telling your parents. I just want you to stop being mad at me.
I love you!!
Scorpius
I laughed. He was acting just how I felt. I wanted to go to the Library, but the naughty part of my wanted to make him ache for me even more. The last letter was even shorter that all of ones before it. There was only one sentence written on it:
Could you at least write back to me?
If it wasn't so late I would run down to the library to see him, but of course he has already gone back to the Slytherin dormitory. I would write him, but I am tired of writing. I will just see him tomorrow morning. Maybe I should at least write him something so that he knows I don't hate him.
Scorpius,
I am not mad at you. I just want you to stop pressuring me to tell my dad. I will see you in the morning, right now I am tired and I want to wash the filth of today out of my brain.
I love you too!
Rosie.
That should do. Well, goodnight. I am tired of today.
--Rosie
In the Great Hall
Determined
Dinner
So I spent the whole day with Scorpius at Hogsmede. It has been a few weeks since I last wrote, sorry. Here is a quick update. Naomi has fallen hard for a seventh year Huffelpuff named Daniel Greene. He is the seeker for their Quidditch team. In the words of Naomi, "He is absolutely perfect. Have you seen his eyes? He has these amazing dark blue eyes. Of course, I haven't been able to look at them properly so I am pretty sure they are dark blue. You know what else I love? His hair. It is this amazing dusty blonde color. It looks so soft. Don't you think it looks so soft? Wouldn't you just love to touch it?" This is where I grunt an acknowledgement to her question, " I would so love to touch it. Did you see his last Quidditch match? The one where he caught the snitch at the last second before being able to pull out of the nose dive and made Courtney Higgins crash on to the ground? It was spectacular."
She normally goes on to describe the exact details of this scene. I nod here and there and tell her that she should go for it. They sound perfect for each other.
James and Ariel had a fight yesterday. This was their first fight ever. She was talking about how immature some people were acting during dinner. Flinging food at people and such, then James said that he was tired of her looking down on everyone who does anything slightly resembling out of line. They argued about whether or not what she was going was actually wrong and they haven't talked since. I tried to be a comfort but she was feeling very snippy and said "Do go and give me your sympathy. I am not below you. James and I are fine. This fight just means we have an open relationship, unlike your dysfunctional mess. So go and look in the mirror before you give me any of your 'help'." Now she is fighting with her boyfriend and with me.
That is your update. After the whole fight about Scorpius telling his father about our relationship all I can think about is whether or not I should tell mine. My dad would be mad, but would my mother be able to mellow him out? I mean, make him not kill my boyfriend. That would be fantastic.
I would mention this to Scorpius but that would end up in a situation similar (but not exactly the same) to the one we were in a few weeks ago. Arguing over whether or not I should tell my parents and we would be fighting, and that would give me something in common with Ariel. And that is the last thing I want at the moment. I would tell Ariel but she would just find another way to insult the current status of my relationship, which makes no sense seeing the status of her relationship. Telling Naomi is out of the question too. It would get us on the subject of Daniel Greene. And as much as I love the fact that she finally has something to occupy her time besides Quidditch, I am tired of constantly hearing about how fantastic he is. And talking about boy/girl relationships of any kind would get us on that subject.
I'll just think about it more.
--Rosie
In the Common Room
So Angry
Trying to avoid her at all costs
Ariel is the worst person in all of Hogwarts at the moment. Was writing my last entry, not knowing that Ariel was reading over my shoulder. Of course she had her own opinion. Not on what I should do, but on my 'which makes no sense seeing the status of her relationship' comment. This journal is for my thoughts to myself, but apparently my life quite literally is an open book to her.
She began to tell me off on the spot as soon as I was finished. "What do you mean 'the status of my relationship'? My relationship is fine. Yours is the one that has issues. I have an idea. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Because you have no idea what you are talking about."
Normally I am a pacifist or a non-confrontationalist but that really irked me. "I was keeping my thoughts to myself. This is my journal. You know what that is? A special book where I write down my thoughts and about experiences so I don't have to tell people what I think to their face. If you really want to know what I think or actually want to know what is like to not keep my thoughts to myself then here is what I think." I proceeded to tell her that her 'mature' relationship was a piece of crap and the only thing mature about it is that they are not twelve. I told her that there is no good communication, since someone who actually know James, who had actually talked to him would know that his favorite hobby is blowing spitballs at Binns, giving himself points depending on what part of the ghost he hit. Of course maybe that is how mature people really act. I mean, how would I know? I am the immature one with the faltering relationship anyway. Aren't I? That was a rhetorical question.
Then she smacked me in the face. It stung but I hit her right back. Of course that didn't go to a very good place. To make a long (and a tad bloody) story short I have detention this Saturday. Right now she is in the Hospital wing complaining of internal damage. Of course she is being dramatic and trying to make me look like the bad guy. The only thing wrong with her is a bruise right beneath her left eye.
But right before we were torn away she did say one more cutting thing, "Call it what you want, but at least I love James. If you actually loved Scorpius you wouldn't be afraid to tell your dad. Because if you really did love him you would want your parents to know."
This sucks. The bitch is right.
--Rosie