Author's rambling; Hey guys. :3 Have you enjoyed this sad little story thus far? XD I hope so~

This story will now contain Yuuri/Sara, but to those Yuuri/Wolfram lovers out there, I can assure you that Yuuri will not get with Sara, nor will he leave Wolfram. So don't freak out. Please. I support both pairings, but I'm loyal to Wolfram fandom, since he was my first favorite.

"Oh, God, Dorcas, you don't have to tell us every time you get hard!" Conrad rolled his eyes.

"SORRY SIR, BUT I THINK IT'S GETTING BIGGER."

Meanwhile, on the bed across from Conrad's, Yuuri was trying to get Ken off of him. "Murata!" The poor Maou cried. "Get off!"

"Adulterous leech!" Wolfram kept repeating in rage.

"Shibuya, I like it here."

Shinou gasped. "Now wait one second you funny bitch! You're my boyfriend!"

Somehow, Yuuri managed to push Ken off. The Great sage landed on the floor.

"If I see one more gay guy, I will kill myself!" Yuuri cried.

Suddenly, with a poof of pink cloud, Sara appeared by Yuuri's bedside.

"Are you going to kill yourself now, or later?" Conrad asked.

"Oh, you're safe!" Sara smiled at Yuuri.

Wolfram almost exploded.

Yuuri blushed. "S-Sara!"

Sara dove into a tight hug. "After I drowned and was brought back to life though intense CPR, I saw the huge explosion and decided to check on my ickle Yuuri-kins~!"

"You are such a slut," Wolfram growled at both Yuuri and Sara.

Yuuri was just staring at Sara's girly and wishing more than anything that he could smell him again.

"Oh, I shall sing a song!" Sara threw his arms up in the air. "It's about my feeling for you, Yuuri."

"F-feelings?" Yuuri's blush deepened.

Sara cleared his throat and began, "I don't want anybody else~ When I think about you I touch myself!"

Yuuri had a nosebleed as he pictured that scene.

"That's it!" Wolfram shouted. He somehow managed to jump up.

After that, he tackled Sara and started punching the shit out of him.

"Wolfram!!" Yuuri cried. "Don't ruin his gorgeous face!"

Wolfram was too angry to hear so he continued on with his blind rage, poor Sara writhing around underneath him, trying to shield himself.

Everybody else just watched and laughed.

Just when things were about to turn very bloody, Jenaus appeared next to Conrad's bed.

He gasped. "I made it!"

"Get your silly ass out of my sight, you crazy fan boy!" Shinou demanded.

"Oh, Lord Shinou! Being insulted by you makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside!"

"Seriously, get the hell out!" Shinou persisted.

While Wolfram was distracted, Sara crawled out from under him and jumped on Yuuri bed. "Yuuri! Save me!"

Jenaus saw this and laughed. "It's that little queerbag!"

"Shut up, you!" Sara whimpered.

"You have to the count of five to leave," Ken threatened the raven haired intruder.

Dorcas, fearing that more violence would erupt, ran out of the room.

"Dorcas! What is in your pants?!" They heard Gisela cry from outside the door.

"One," Ken started to count, "two, four--I mean, three...seven...five!!"

Jenaus braced himself for the worst.

….

….

….

Nothing.

"Escape!" Ken cried while Jenaus was off guard. He and his four thousand year old boyfriend hopped off the beds and made a run for it.

"Shinou! Come back! I love you!" Jenuas took chase.

That left Wolfram, who was gasping and wheezing and laying on the floor, crippled, Sara, who was bleeding all over Yuuri, Yuuri, who was getting bled on and liking it, and Conrad, who was sad that Shinou left.

"Soo...how about them Yankees?" Conrad said.

"Ooh! I love baseball!" Yuuri said excitedly. He could feel the excitement in his pants.

"What's a Yankee, Yuuri? Is it a hip slang term?" Sara asked.

"M-must...kill...." Wolfram hissed from the floor.

"It's the best baseball team ever. How do I know they're the best? Everyone says they are. I just listen to whatever people say because I'm so damn naïve."

"Yuuri, I'm a girl," Sara lied.

"R-really? That's great! Let's get married! Make babies!"

"Fuck. You." Wolfram growled.

"Would you~?" Sara smiled.

Yuuri did feel kind of bad for Wolfram. After all, he had been Wolfram's fiancée for at least a hundred episodes and he didn't want to stop now.

"No, I shouldn't. I mean...it's not that I like Wolfram or anything," Yuuri turned and blushed, "it's just that I don't want to make him said or anything..."

Wolfram's eyes sparkled. "Y-Yuuri...you really mean that?"

"Of course, Wolfram! Even thought I'm not gay and even though there's no way in I'd ever have feelings for you, you're still my best friend. Before I met you, I had no real friends. Well, except for Murata, but he was a bitch so I don't count him."

Wolfram started to cry tears of joy.

Defeated, Sara shrugged and started to play with Yuuri's nipple.

"Freakin' pansies. The lot of you," Conrad scoffed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Gwendle and Gunter were still in some far off room on the other side of the castle, getting high, or at least, consuming a drug of some sort.

"omg so like, Gwendle...yesterday...I was like...spying on Heika when he was..uh...changing and stuff?!"

Gwendle laughed. "I like kittens..."

"I-I-I like...cocks," Gunter said with a blush on his face.

Gwendle LOL'd. "You're such a homo."

Gunter giggled, "You're so pretty, Gweny-kins~"

"...Yeah. Totally."

Gunter rolled around on the ground. "Heika is so bootyful~"

"He got a donk."

"Oooh! Oooh! If you could be one animal....what would you be?" Gunter asked, rolling over on his stomach and resting his chin in his hands.

"Dolphin. Always the dolphin." Gwendle stared up at the ceiling.

"I want to be....a...birdie...so I can fly into Heika!"

"Birds can't fit in a butt hole, dumby."

Gunter let out a dreamy sigh. "I want to be a panda~"

"I made one...I named it Sir Edward XIII of Canada."

"Fabulous! Hey...I think...I think I want to buy the Jonas Borther's new CD."

"Gay."

Gunter giggled. "Stop it you meanie! ….What's that even mean...?"

Gwendle shrugged, "Hell if I know..."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Shinou! King Shinou! Lord Shinou! Sexy sexilicious daddy!"

"What the fuck?" Ken and Shinou cried as they continued to run.

"If I wasn't useless...I would save you!" Ken shouted bravely.

Shinou blushed. "You'll always be my hero~"

The two stopped running and started to stare lovingly into each other's eyes.

Then they both dove into a hot, passionate kiss.

Jenaus felt extreme jealousy and started to cry.

Gisela was wondering why the hell two naked guys were making out in the hallway.

"MA'AM," Dorcas said from behind her. "MY BONER JUST CAME BACK."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Ulrike was quite disturbed to find that Shinou's temple had destroyed. She had no idea how it happened, but she feared that the Original King and his Great Sage were dead. Frantic, there was only thing she had to do...

She had to masturbate like crazy. Then go off and look for them.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Back in the medical room, Sara was done molesting Yuuri's chest and Wolfram was done crying. The two blond headed homos were now arguing over who Yuuri loved most.

While this was happening, Conrad was in deep thought. "Waltorana is related to Julia....and, he looks just like Julia. I was sexually attracted to Julia..so does this mean that I'm sexually attracted to Waltorana? But...Yuuri has Julia's soul, and I liked Julia's soul...so does this mean that I like Yuuri?"

"Did you know what Yuuri and I did? We ran off together and hid in a warm, dark closet. He got really close to me and confessed his love~"

Yuuri blushed. "It didn't happen like that! You dragged me off to some freakishly weird place with a bunch of dead bodies and you pulled me into a coffin...and I didn't confess my love, I just thought you looked really hot. And smelled good..."

Wolfram gasped. "You smelled him!"

"B-but! Wolfram, you smell good, too! After we take a bath together, I-I always like sleeping real close to you..."

"Really? I like sleeping close to you, too!"

"Is that why kick Greta off the bed every night?"

"Yeah."

"I gave Yuuri head!" Sara exclaimed.

Yuuri's face went mad red. "T-t-that's not true!"

"Let it be true! Let your fairy godmother grant your every wish!"

"...what the hell, Sara?"

"BIG NEWS!" For the second time that day, Dorcas busted through the doors. "THE VILLAGERS ARE RAIDING THE CASTLE!"

Yuuri gasped. "W-what! N-now? Why?!"

"Yes, I think I'm going to invite Waltorana to dinner and then do him mercilessly. Maybe then I'll find out if I am sexually attracted to him or not," Conrad said randomly.

"....SIR, I HAVE A--" Dorcas started.

"We know!" Everyone cried.

Sara looked to the excited man, "I know. I know everything. I know everything about you, Dorcas. I'm your fairy fuckin' godmother."