Death

She lay curled up at his side, holding on to him as tightly as possible with everything she had left. She knew it wouldn't be long now; she'd been preparing herself for this for a while. Weeks of it to be exact– but she knew with a certainty that she couldn't really explain that today was the day. And she would never be ready. No amount of preparation would ever make her able to accept losing him. They would be together again she was sure of that as much as she was sure of anything. After all she knew what was out there – knew that a heaven existed, she'd been there herself before her friends had pulled her out. It was a distant foggy memory but whenever she thought of it she would recall the warmth and peace she had been given and hoped that she would end up their again one day, this time with him.

She focused on his breathing, it was laboured and shallow and not as frequent as it should be – not much time left. She felt the first tear fall even though she'd been fighting hard not to cry. She daren't move to wipe it away though; she didn't want to stop holding him not for a second. She needed to offer him this comfort, needed him to know that she was there. That she loved him till the end and beyond.

They had been through so much together, so many battles, and so many deaths. And ever since that day when he had achieved the dream that they hadn't ever thought possible, they hadn't ever spent a night apart. They had never slept the night in a bed without the other one there beside them, and she didn't know how she was supposed to do it now. Her bed would be empty and cold without him there. A small sob broke free before she could contain it as the fear gripped her heart.

'Shhh it's going to be okay Buffy,' he whispered to her and she smiled in spite of herself. He always did that, even in the gravest of circumstance he was there to offer her comfort and support even if he was the one suffering and in pain.

She took a hold of his hand and squeezed it tight in response. He gripped hers back but his grasp was so weak that she had to hold in another sob. He was slipping away from her and there was nothing she could do.

Still she was grateful, ever so grateful for a life she had never dreamed possible. He was an old man now and she was an old woman, long since wrinkly and grey and yet still the most beautiful to each other. They had witnessed the passing of friends to old age; Giles first and then Xander and even Dawn who had died aged 73.

They had fought the biggest battle and won; the ptb had granted him his humanity and they had lived their life together. They'd had three children; Conner who she considered as her own even if biologically he wasn't and then another son- Doyle and a Daughter – Tara. They had lived close to their friends; Gunn and his Wife, Willow and hers, Xander and Dawn and Giles and even Spike. They'd been further blessed with six grandchildren. They were old and they were happy. They had lived and it had been magnificent.

And now it was time for him to go – He was 92 years old. Too early she thought still but longer than many. And apparently she didn't get a say in the matter.

She had known it was going to be soon and so she'd told them all to say their goodbyes and then she had been left alone with him to say hers. But how did you say goodbye to your soulmate? How do you say goodbye to your reason for living, the reason your heart beats every day, the person you get up for every morning, who put's a smile on your face, makes you laugh, makes you feel and makes you the happiest you had ever been? She gripped him tighter.

'Buffy,' he whispered her name and for a moment she was transported back, her mind a wash with memories; the first time they met in that alley, the first time they kissed, the night of her seventeenth birthday when they made love. His shanshu, their wedding day, the birth of their children.

'Buffy – 'He spoke again. He moved and she let go of her hold on him to comply with his silent request and he used strength she didn't know he had left to turn and face her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the lips as the tears fell silently down her face. He pulled back and looked at her with a smile. She gazed into his dark brown eyes- into her life. Because that's what he was.

He lay back down and she settled against his chest listening to his heart beat as it began to slow. Any minute now, that was to be their last kiss- she knew that.

'Buffy?'

'Yes?'

'You're still my girl?'

She laughed. 'Always.'

And then he was gone.

And she didn't move – didn't call out to anybody. She simply lay there in his arms. She closed her eyes and thought of him. Angel.

The room was silent and there was a slight chill when Conner, Doyle and Tara entered half an hour later. Tara reached the bed first and knelt down at the head. She looked at the figures of her Mother and Father and she just knew instinctively that they were both gone. She began to cry and found herself enveloped by the comforting arms of her two brothers. She had lost both her parents, she loved them and they were both gone now. Yet she found herself smiling to through the tears. She'd always known really that one wouldn't have wanted to live without the other. Their lives had always been so interlinked. Not even death would separate them. And she knew that where ever they were now that they were together forever and always and she took comfort in that.