I know this is in Alternate Vessels, but it's not something I ever planned on even putting in the story. It's more of a stray plot bunny that seized me last night and refused to let go, which is an odd mental picture.

Also, each line break is a skip to a different scene later in the book. I warn about it because I think it's done pretty abruptly. I tried to make it as obvious as possible what scene it is, so hopefully you guys will be able to tell. The majority is from the Deathly Hallows, but it starts in the beginning of Order of the Phoenix.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Harry Potter.

"I think they heard you shouting five cities away."

"Yeah Harry, let it out," George teased. "It's not good to bottle it up like that."

Taken aback, Harry just scowled at them. "It's none of your business," he said hotly. "I - I haven't been told anything all summer!"

"We know," Fred said. "But if you'd like to be told something, we should probably start with that guy." He was looking at Ron and Hermione. "Y'know..."

"Oh!" Hermione seemed to suddenly realize what they were talking about. "Are you sure?"

"He's gonna meet him eventually," Ron pointed out.

"Who are you talking about?" Harry demanded.

"Pretty sure they mean me."

It was more than a little surreal to turn around and see yourself leaning in the doorway. Harry stopped dead.

"Hey," his - twin? - offered. "I'd shake your hand, but apparently no one's sure whether that won't bring apocalyptic, universe-rending doom down upon us."

"It was something Voldemort did," Hermione said. "We think. Some ritual...he was probably trying to get at you, but he got...well, alternate you."

"Alternate me?" Harry spun to face her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Alternate, as in from alternate universes." His otherself strode into the room casually. He wasn't wearing glasses, and his hair was much longer than Harry's - more along the lines of how he'd styled it the year previously. He was smiling in a smirky sort of way that rubbed Harry the wrong way. "Most people have heard of the concept? It's a sci-fi thing."

"I don't read a lot of that," Harry said defensively.

"Eh," Other-Harry said. "You're wizards. I'll give you a pass." He DisApparated with a crack that seemed weirdly echoey, leaving Harry staring at his friends.

"What the hell?"

"Hey, it's been weird for us too, mate," Ron said. "He may look like you, but he doesn't act a bit like you. More like Draco Malfoy-"

"You're just saying that because you don't like him," Hermione said dismissively.

"You've got to admit they're a little similar, Hermione," Fred said. "It's just less 'my father will hear about this'."

"It's more like he's pretending to be nice and planning our collective demises in his head," George continued. Hermione scoffed.

"He's trapped in the wrong universe," she said. "I don't think we can expect him to be happy about it."

"It's just weird-" George began.

"That he looks so similar but acts so different," Fred finished.

"I mean-"

"Maybe if this other Harry was white, it wouldn't be so much of a surprise."

"White people can be assholes."

"You're white," Ron said in exasperation. "I'm white! Our entire family is!"

"C'mon, Ron-"

"You've seen Percy, are you really going to argue?"

Harry didn't see the other-Harry for almost the entire year, and nearly succeeded in forgetting about him.

But the manner in which he was abruptly reminded of the other's presence made it kind of hard to forget.

"I don't have it!" Harry shouted at Bellatrix. "It's broken! Your master's not going to be happy when he hears that!"

"You lie!" The head of the house-elf statue shattered as another spell hit the fountain. "Give it to me! Accio prophecy!"

Harry just laughed. She had lost, and she didn't even know it.

"No!" Bellatrix screamed. "Master, I am sorry, I didn't know!"

"He can't hear you!"

"Can't I, Potter?" The voice was quiet, but against the sudden, ringing silence in the Atrium it was easy to hear, and it froze Harry in place.

The statue exploded behind him, and Harry threw himself away, barely managing a Protego. A few stray shards of gold got past it, cutting into his skin. Harry could feel a scrape on his cheek bleeding.

Voldemort stood at the other end of the Atrium, regarding him coldly. Bellatrix had vanished - Harry must have missed the crack of Apparition while he dodged the fountain.

"We meet again," Voldemort said. "You escaped me last time...but no matter. I will end it here."

"You've lost more than that," Harry said, scrambling to his feet. His wand had was shaking, but he kept it trained on Voldemort. "Your ritual failed. You didn't get me."

Voldemort hissed wordlessly. "Do you imagine that I was so careless as to try and summon you? No, Potter...if my ritual had succeeded, I would have summoned a being of incalculable power...but nothing showed up. And now I must resort to this."

"What?" Harry was frozen again, for another moment. "But someone-" He cut himself off. Someone had showed up for that ritual.

Or something.

Harry was seized with a sudden and acute dread. Exactly what had they been harboring in Grimmauld Place this whole time?

Voldemort's snakelike eyes were fixed unnervingly on him. "You know something," he said, eyes narrowing even further. "Tell me, Potter...what did the Order find in the remnants of that ritual?"

"Me, mostly," a new and horribly familiar voice said. "Some other stuff, but let's face it, I'm the most important."

Other-Harry had somehow gotten in, standing equidistant between the two of them. He glanced at Harry, looking unimpressed.

Voldemort looked almost furious. "It worked? Then why have you not appeared to me before?" He pointed one long, white finger at Harry like a dagger. "I order you to kill him!"

Other-Harry slowly looked at Voldemort. One eyebrow inched its way up his forehead.

"Alright," he said. "Let's get this straight. I do not do anyone's dirty work. I barely do my own dirty work. And secondly, even if you didn't happen to be a genocidal douchebag, you don't even have a fucking nose. I'd refuse on principle."

Voldemort didn't seem to know how to respond to that. Harry was still trying to process the fact that his otherself - or whoever the hell he was - had just called Voldemort a douchebag.

"You have to do what I say!" Voldemort sputtered eventually. "The ritual-"

"Ritual, smitual," Other-Harry cut him off calmly. "See, here's the deal with being - what was it? 'A being of incalculable power'..." He smirked, sharp and predatory and not something that looked like it belonged on Harry's face. "The rules don't apply."

Voldemort seemed to make a decision in a split second. "Avada Kedavra!"

Other-Harry held up his hand, and the curse stopped dead before it hit him.

"Really?" He asked, sounding more bored than insulted. He twisted his hand, and the curse shattered into tiny chips of green light that faded in a second.

Then Harry was seized with a blinding light and pain and everything hurt-

"He couldn't really have possessed you, yannow."

Harry spun around so fast that he felt his neck crack. Other-Harry looked amused, perched on the end of his bed. The Gryffindor dormitory was empty, except for the two of them - formerly one of them.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can't I catch up and see how it went?" Other-Harry was still smirking. Harry was beginning to think it was his default expression. "You going up against Voldemort and all."

"Why do you care?" Harry challenged. "I mean - I know you're my alternate self and everything-"

"Don't flatter yourself," the other said, cutting him off shortly. "You're just the most interesting person in this castle at the moment."

Harry eyed him suspiciously. "What are you?"

"That's a little rude," Other-Harry said. "You don't even know my name. Doesn't that usually come before you start quizzing someone about their species?"

The word species lingered uneasily. "Fine," Harry said. "What's your name?"

"Loki."

The way he was grinning put Harry off a bit. "Is that your real name?" He asked.

Loki's grin widened. "It's one of them."

Harry gave it up. "What are you, then?" He was interested despite himself. He'd already told Ron and Hermione and the Order about what had happened that night. He knew the name alone would probably have Hermione up researching possibilities.

"You heard Voldemort," Loki said. "Being of incalculable power. That about sums it up."

"I meant specifically," Harry said in frustration. "How did I even end up as a - being of - whatever?"

"That's a trick question," Loki mused. "Technically, I'm not you at all. I mean sure, it's your body - or your alternate self's body, or whatever. I'm just...borrowing it."

"You're what?"

"Don't be so uptight," Loki scoffed. "Believe me, taking a vessel is way preferable to me walking around without one. You think Voldemort caused chaos, wait 'till you see what I do accidentally. Besides, it's not like there's anyone else in here other than me. No human souls rattling around inside."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"You don't," Loki said cheerfully. "But I am. Voldemort, some dead parents, a killing curse, I'm sure you know the story. I just happened to be in the area looking for a vessel."

"But I survived that," Harry objected.

"Yes you did." Loki raised his eyebrows. "And your alternate self did not. That's why they call them alternate universes, genius - they're different than the one you're in."

"So there's just no...me in your universe?"

"They don't need him over there," Loki said, waggling his eyebrows and grinning. "They've got me."

Harry didn't see a single hint of Loki over the summer, and was relieved - he wasn't sure if he could have dealt with his weird alternate not-self.

He was relieved, that is, until Death Eaters broke in and they really could have used Loki's help.

"You have had quite the night, haven't you?" And of course, he only showed up after Dumbledore was dead.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Ron had scrambled out of his seat, and was staring at Loki like an alligator was sprawled in the formerly empty armchair.

"Relax." Loki looked amused by Ron's reaction, but then again everything seemed to amuse him. "I just thought I'd drop by."

"I don't know if you noticed," Hermione said shortly, "but now isn't exactly a good time."

"And that is why I'm up here instead of in a different part of the castle." Loki settled further into the chair, looking for all the world like it was exactly where he belonged. It hadn't gotten any more unnerving to see an identical version of him walking around, but Harry wasn't in the mood to try and persuade Loki to leave.

"What do you want?" Ron asked, scowling as he sat back down.

"Who says I want anything?" Loki countered. "You three are the ones planning something."

"We're not planning anything," Harry said.

"Really?" Loki arched an eyebrow. "What's up with your secret mission with the old dude, then?"

The three of them froze.

"How do you know about that?" Harry demanded.

"Like I said, you're the most interesting thing in this universe at the moment," Loki reminded him. "I've been keeping an eye on you guys for ages."

"What the hell!" Ron sounded scandalized. "That's invasive!"

Loki scoffed. "Not that invasive. Your bathroom time is none of my business, and I frankly don't want it to be." He gave Ron an unimpressed once-over.

"Wait," Hermione said. "So you know about Horcruxes."

Loki's face immediately smoothed into cool indifference. "What about them?"

"We need to find them."

"Oh, brother." Loki rolled his eyes. "If you're about to ask me to help you look for them-"

"We'll help you get back to your universe," Hermione said. Loki's attention snapped back to her.

"Deal." Loki grabbed Hermione's hand so quickly the motion was almost a blur. The smile on his face was as sharp as the one he'd given Voldemort, and Harry really hoped he was imagining the crackle of magic that sealed the handshake.

What had Hermione just gotten them into?

Harry had just closed the door of the bathroom after Hermione when he heard a whistle. "Lie to your friends often?"

"Merlin's-" Harry spun around, flattening his back to the door. He wished he could have said he was surprised to see Loki perched on the [closed] toilet. "I thought you said you didn't do this!"

"You're still wearing clothes, aren't you?" Loki said. "If you do have any plans on getting undressed, it's hardly anything I haven't seen before."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Loki gestured between the two of them. "Same body? Remember?"

Flushing, Harry moved to the sink, trying to find a place for his toothbrush and avoiding looking at Loki. "What do you want?"

"What did you see?" Loki asked him.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"No? I was pretty sure you knew you were having visions of Voldemort."

"It's none of your business," Harry said hotly.

"Funny, I thought I got roped into this whole misadventure." Loki stood up, moving to lean against the counter instead. "You know that's not a thing humans normally do, right? Unless they're psychic. Or prophets. And you're neither."

"Yes," Harry said tightly.

"Just checking," Loki said cheerfully. "Man, these Horcruxes really are a problem, huh?"

"That's why Hermione asked you to help." Harry put his toothbrush behind the faucet, turning one of the handles with a creak. Water cascaded into the sink with a whoosh. Harry stuck his hands under it. Maybe if he looked busy enough Loki would take a hint and leave.

"That's the hot water," Loki said.

"No it's no - ouch!" The water went from freezing to scalding hot in a second. Harry yanked his hands away, nearly crashing into the wall behind him. Loki laughed loudly, like it was the most hilarious thing he'd ever seen.

When Harry looked up, the mirror only reflected one of him.

"Fantastic," he grumbled. "An all-powerful being, and he gets his kicks hurting us."

He could already tell that this was going to end in chaos.

"We got the Horcrux?" Ron pushed himself into a sitting position. "Bloody hell, no one tells me anything! Let me see it!"

Hermione pulled it over her head, the emeralds sparkling in the sun.

"How are we going to destroy it?" Harry asked, the realization accompanying the dread creeping up on him.

Hermione hesitated. "Maybe we should call Loki."

"No way," Ron objected immediately.

"Who else do we know who can destroy it?" Hermione asked.

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea," Harry said, "but how are we supposed to get in touch with him? It's not like he's got a phone we could call."

Harry hesitated. "Well," he said. "You did promise to help him get home. He'll probably find us eventually."

Loki did find them about an hour later.

"A warning would be nice next time," he said, making Ron startle so badly that he nearly fell off the bed.

"Bloody hell-"

"We didn't have time to give you a warning," Hermione told him. "You're one to talk, popping in like this."

"I have to maintain my dramatic flair," Loki said with a completely straight face. "Sucks that you lost your secret hideout."

"You couldn't have helped with that?" Harry asked, moving to stand next to Hermione. "Being incredibly powerful or whatever, you couldn't have - I dunno - given us an easier escape plan?"

"Sure," Loki said. "Except you didn't tell me what you were doing, which is weird, considering you asked me to help you find these things."

"You spent all of five minutes at Grimmauld Place," Hermione reminded him. "We don't know how to contact you-"

"You know what I am." Loki cut her off. "You can't guess?"

"No offense," Ron said in a way that said he absolutely did not mean 'no offense',"but we're not sacrificing anything to you."

"I'll let you skip that." The way Loki said it made Harry think there was an implied for now. "You've never tried praying?"

"Praying?" Hermione said skeptically.

"Yeah," Loki retorted. "It's something people usually do when any sort of deity is involved? Don't tell me you've never heard of it. And from the looks of how this went, next time I'd suggest a backup plan."

"Fine," Hermione snapped, yanking the Horcrux over her head. "You can start by giving us a backup plan for destroying these."

Loki met Hermione's stare coolly. "I didn't say anything about helping destroy them."

"You promised you'd help," Hermione countered. "If you want to be included, start now."

"You think you can tell me what to do?" Loki's voice was soft, but there was something in it that made Harry want to back away. The lights in the tent flickered.

Loki reached forward, and the metal of the locket bent like paper under his grip. There was a flash that made Harry squeeze his eyes shut and a faint, lingering scream.

The Horcrux barely looked like a locket anymore. Loki was on his feet, having let go of it.

"Next time," he said, "Try to remember what you're dealing with."

The three of them were left staring at the spot he'd previously occupied.

"Hermione," Ron said, "for all our sakes, don't try to boss him around again."

The next time Loki appeared was when Harry was on guard duty, staring out at leaves and trees and then, abruptly, his reflection.

Harry windmilled backward, scrambling for his wand, and Loki laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

"Ha! Your face! That was so worth it."

"What are you doing here?" Harry demanded.

"There's nowhere better to be at the moment," Loki said. "I mean, technically I could be in Rio right now, but I look like I'm sixteen so there's no way that's going to be any fun."

Harry was pretty sure 'Rio' was meant to imply something a lot more inappropriate than what he was thinking of. "I thought you bailed."

"Hey, binding agreement." Loki wiggled his fingers, green sparks flickering around them. "I'm not interested in being stuck here for however long until this universe bites the dust, and your friend has offered me what is, apparently, my only out."

"Wait-" What? "You're saying your only other plan is to wait until the world ends?"

"If this universe doesn't exist, I can't be trapped in it, can I?" Loki said it as if it should have been obvious.

"Wouldn't you die then, too?"

Loki just smirked at him. "What do you think?"

"Hermione looked up Norse myths," Harry told him. "They say you will."

"Do you see any other gods here?" Loki spread his arms. "If there's no one around to kill me, I'm not gonna die. Simple math."

"I didn't see anything about gods stealing people's bodies," Harry said.

"Humans never get everything," Loki said. "And what they do get, they don't get all of it right. You think you know me, don't you?"

He'd read the myths about Loki; what they could find, they all read. Still, Harry looked at the person in front of him and realized he didn't have a chance of understanding Loki.

"Not really," he said.

"Smart of you," Loki replied.

"Oh!" Luna's exclamation of surprise made Harry's head shoot up, and he'd never been so relieved and so incredibly furious to see Loki.

"Where have you been?"

Loki scoffed. "Please. I don't exist to live at your beck and call, kid."

"Didn't you hear us?" Ron shouted.

"Sure I did. Your friends are here, though. Now you get to rescue them," Loki said. "And possibly take out a few major players on your enemy's side. You're welcome."

Ok honestly I'm not sure where I was going with this. Might post more later, but my imagination never went much further than the original reveal. Review?