Origins:
The One Where Shepard Was Raised Religious
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Colonist Shepard's parents sought an insular community to practice their religion when they left Earth for a new life. That religion shaped every aspect of her upbringing.
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"Is it a problem that I believe in God?" Ashley asked.
"Not at all, Chief," Shepard assured her. "I was raised religious myself."
"You were? Do you still…"
Shepard glanced away. "No. After what happened to my family, I found it hard to believe in a loving god." There was a long, awkward silence before Shepard looked up. "Not that I grudge you your belief. It's a very personal choice."
Mercifully, Ash nodded. "I understand, Commander."
…
…
Shepard's squad had managed to liberate the hostages, but the storm raging outside meant they were cut off from the Normandy. And there was one more complication.
"Shepard," Ashley said, uncharacteristic panic in her voice. "This woman is in labor!"
Shepard came quickly, Garrus on her heels despite having no clue how he could help.
"Don't worry," Shepard said to the frightened woman. "We're going to take care of you and your baby. Just try to stay calm."
Shepard turned to Garrus and Ashley, standing a little ways behind her. "Help me out of my armor," she said. "Quickly. And I need a packet of sterile wipes."
Ashley gave Shepard an odd look. "Uh, Skipper… did you forget that none of us know how to deliver babies? Unless Garrus is holding out on us."
The turian's mandibles fluttered as he helped Shepard remove her gauntlets. "No, Chief, I'm not secretly an expert on human birth," he said dryly.
"I know what I'm doing," Shepard said. "I've done this before." And she went to kneel by the laboring mother, now in just her undersuit.
For the next several hours, as the storm raged around them, Shepard calmly and carefully guided the mother through the birth, ordering help from Ashley and Garrus as needed. The woman cried tears of gratitude as her child was placed into her arms at the end of labor.
Not long after, the storm cleared and they were finally able to return to the Normandy. They clambered back out of the mako as the cargo bay door closed, and began depositing their weapons on the bench.
"Skipper, how did you know how to do all of that?" Ashley asked, amazed at the unusual skill set her commander possessed. "That's not exactly part of field medic training."
A look of discomfort crossed Shepard's face for just a moment before smoothing out. "My parents were part of an… unusual group of settlers. I helped in nearly a dozen home births back on Mindoir."
"Your people still give birth without medical intervention?" Garrus asked, curious. "Was that normal down there?" He seemed a little disturbed by what he'd seen.
"It's not common, but some people do choose to give birth on their own," Shepard answered, amused.
Garrus shook his head. "It seems dangerous. That's an awfully big baby to come out of such a small person."
Shepard snorted, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "Welcome to the miracle of human childbirth, Garrus."
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…
The mako barreled towards a miniature mass relay, defended on either side by dozens of geth. Shepard felt iron bands of fear wrap around her heart as the mako vibrated, fighting against the tendrils of energy reaching out from the relay. For the first time in over a decade she found herself praying, reaching for a cross that no longer hung around her neck.
And then they were gone.
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…
She'd been dead.
Heart stopped. Brain still. Body broken.
And she remembered nothing.
In childhood she'd sung hymns about heaven. Been told that family was waiting on the other side.
But what if there was no other side?
Shepard lay back on her bed, staring up through the skylight, remembering the feeling of air leaving her lungs.
And she wondered.
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…
"Garrus? Are you busy?"
He shut down his console and turned around. Something in her voice made him pause. "Is something wrong?"
"No," she said. "Not really." But she was nervous. He could see her vitals spiking.
He motioned for her to come sit with him on the edge of his cot. "What is it, Esther?" he asked, still feeling a bit odd using her first name, as much as she seemed to like it.
"You remember when we agreed to, uh… 'blow off steam' together?"
His heart leapt into his throat. "You don't want to anymore?" He tried his hardest to keep his tone steady.
"No! That's not it at all," she assured him, covering his hand with hers, then snatching it back a moment later. "It's just…" She bit her lip. "I need to be honest here."
She stood up, pacing in front of him for a moment. "I was disingenuous when I asked you that. I don't want to just blow off steam. I wouldn't have asked if that was all I meant. I want more. I have feelings for you."
Garrus felt relief and happiness wash over him. "I have feelings for you too," he admitted. "I have for a long time."
Her anxious expression relaxed into a smile. "I have to tell you… I would never blow off steam with anyone I wasn't serious about. I know turians are casual about sex, but I was raised differently and I—"
Garrus grabbed her hand, cutting her off. "It's okay," he said. "I won't say that I've been serious about everyone I ever slept with. But I am serious about you."
She smiled at that for a moment. "But there's something else I'm trying to tell you," Shepard pushed on, looking nervous again. "I've never done this before. With anyone."
Garrus paused. "Not with another human? Not with anyone?"
She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "That's what I said," she replied, with a sort of irritated anxiety meant to cover her fears.
Garrus may have been blindsided by the confession, but he wasn't blind to what this meant. "Esther… I'm honored that you would want to share this with me. But… maybe I better do some extra research first."
She smiled, looking like she was trying to hold in a laugh. "More? Weren't you doing enough?"
His mandibles fluttered a little. "Well if this is your first time, I want to make sure it's really good for you. I want it to be special."
Her smile softened. "It will be special," she said simply. "It's with you."
…
…
When Shepard entered the cargo bay on her usual rounds, Steve Cortez immediately waved her over. "Is there something wrong?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No ma'am, but I wanted to go over this requisition with you. Two hundred electric tea candles?"
Shepard blushed. "For All Saints' Day," she said. "I was hoping to invite the crew to observe it with me. I light candles for my family every year. Is it a stupid idea?"
"No," Steve said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "It's not. I think we could use it at a time like this."
Two weeks later found a number of crew members silently taking candles from the box at the door of the observation lounge. Shepard sat closest to the window with her ten candles, thinking about each member of her family as she lit the candles in turn.
Her father, Daniel Shepard, the quiet, earnest farmer. Her mother, Hannah, the heart and guide of the household. Big brother Levi who was kind and serious. The twins, Samuel and Jeremiah who always did their best to drive her crazy. Rebecca and Leah, giggly and inseparable despite their two year age difference. Isaac, wild and energetic, Malachi always trailing after him. Shiloh, whose baby cheeks she always kissed. There were times she had wished them away. Now she wished them back.
She didn't pray over the candles like some would. She hadn't truly believed in a loving god for years. But she thought of them, hoping that wherever they were, they had found peace.
She looked to either side of herself, to Tali, lighting two candles and Garrus lighting one. At a small sniffle from Tali's helmet, she moved over, wrapping an arm around her friend. The loss of her father was still fresh. Before long, Garrus had joined them, and the three of them sat together, staring out at the universe in candlelight, taking comfort in one another.
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"Never have I ever… been engaged," Liara said with a mischievous glint in her eye.
Shepard and Jacob took sips of their drinks. A dozen surprises gazes turned to Shepard.
She rolled her eyes. "Back on Mindoir, my parents betrothed me to this guy. He was young, another farmer in the community. He'd just bought his own prefab. It was shortly before the slavers hit, so you can guess how that ended."
"Wait… your parents betrothed you? It was going to be an arranged marriage?" Traynor asked in shock.
"Weren't you only sixteen?" Kaidan jumped in.
Shepard shrugged. "I didn't know any different at the time. Our community was… conservative."
Joker snorted. "I'll say."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Never have I ever broken a bone."
He shook his head as he lifted his beer to drink. "Low blow, Commander."
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…
"Esther, your boyfriend has an order for you—come back alive. It will be an awfully empty galaxy without you."
"I will if you promise me the same. Any more rockets come your way, you'd better duck."
Garrus's mandibles flared into a small smile. "Turians don't know how, but I'm sure I can improvise."
Her fingers trailed over the scarred side of his face. "When this is over, what do you want to do?"
"First?" Garrus said, "Get a drink. Second, I want to get married. Then we can retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids. Maybe see what a human-turian baby looks like?"
Shepard laughed through her tears. "I don't know if biology will cooperate. But we're going to adopt so many babies Garrus. I promise you."
"Well, there are going to be a lot of kids that need homes after this. And a lot of little krogan running around."
She sniffed, wiping at her eyes. "It'll be a piece of cake. Remember, I raised seven siblings."
Garrus pulled her in to his chest. "Just promise me we'll make it there. I'll give you all the babies you want, Esther, but you have to survive this first."
She nodded against his cowl. "We will, Garrus. I'm sure of it."
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…
Shepard's pregnant belly preceded her as she waddled out to where Garrus lay on their private beach. She grunted in irritation as she dropped down into the lounge chair beside her husband's.
He grinned at her in amusement, and she rolled her eyes.
"Next project," she said. "You build me a bathroom closer to the beach. I'm not doing this next time."
"Next time?" he asked with a raised browplate.
She smiled. "You promised me as many babies as I wanted, Garrus."
He smiled back, leaning over to press his forehead to hers. "That I did, Esther. That I did."
…