Birth of Queen

I lay in bed looking at my ceiling, thinking at how far I had come in the last 2 weeks since I had gotten my powers. I was no longer inflicting random thoughts and whims on the people surrounding me. I had figured out how to stop that early on, before I got out of the hospital as a result of the locker.

I was also getting a handle on my powers, and what they could and couldn't do. Surreptitious experimentation on criminals I had found deep in the docks had shown I had massive versatility in my powers. And I was figuring out what emotion I was seeing bleeding off of people at any given time. Or rather, what emotion what I was seeing corresponded to.

That had been confusing at first. I sort of saw the world through two eyes now; what everyone else saw, and what people were feeling. I could bring one or the other into focus. Perhaps that had had something to do with why my eyes had changed. I could see the stars that now formed in my eyes whenever I looked in the mirror. No one else at school had noticed it. Perhaps because of how I always kept my head down.

Biggest difference was when I had figured out how much easy my powers got when I had something to focus with. I had started carrying around TV remotes. They kind of made my powers easier, and I could assign functions to different buttons. Then I knew what to do. But most of all, they served as a way to aim, and a way to know when to apply them.

On the other hand, one thought kept circulating in my head over these last few weeks, and that was how I could never be a hero. Not really. My powers were too scary. Too much like Heartbreaker. Too much like the Simurgh. Maybe if I didn't reveal my full capabilities?

But the PRT would find out. I was sure of it. Especially if I worked for them, which as a hero, I would need to. The only application of my powers that would not scare the world would be my emotion vision, and I couldn't go vigilante with just that. Perhaps a Rogue, though I was still thinking how that could work.

But perhaps worst of all, was that nothing had changed at school. I had gone back this past week, and the bullying was worse than ever. Emma, Sophia, and Madison were making my life living hell once more.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears come. It was so frustrating; I had the power to destroy them if I wanted to, but I couldn't. Not really. Not and remain me.

My confidence was at an all time low, and I despise who I am. What I am. Perhaps it was better to just die. I finally get a break, and get powers, and they're powers that would horrify. Make people fear me. What would the PRT think of them. What would my dad think of them. Without more confidence I don't think I can continue.

My eyes flew open. I needed more confidence. I looked down to the remote I had been idly playing with in my hands. Could I..? Would it even work?

Only one way to find out. I pointed the remote at my head, and pressed the button.

I stared in horror at Emma as she finished speaking. She remained standing there, frozen like Sophia and Madison. Madison looked as shocked as I felt, but Sophia was just glaring at me.

Sophia... or rather Shadow Stalker. The Ward. A hero.

Someone who was supposed to protect me. Yet had tortured me. Destroyed my life.

And now just glared at me.

I felt a surge of anger at this. And returned her glare.

Before I knew what I was doing, I pointed my remote at her, and pressed a button.

I awoke soaked in sweat. Another nightmare. More guilt at what I was doing to Sophia. It seemed almost irrational. She had hurt me... tortured me. So why should I feel guilt doing it back.

I suppose I was right to feel guilt for what I had done to Gallant, at least. But that was small. Making him think that whatever Sophia felt, it was normal. The usual. And it was necessary, or else I would have been caught.

Maybe the guilt was at how much I enjoyed torturing Sophia? No, that was not it. Though it was there. Most of it was that I was torturing her. Proving to her that I was no better than her. Feeling her emotions each day, the seething hatred and rage against me as I controlled her. Kept her a prisoner in her own body.

I enjoyed it. It gave me strength, but it also horrified a part of me. And that part was feeling guilt. Feeding it to me. Overwhelming me. Giving me nightmares and interrupting my sleep.

I didn't feel any guilt over what I had done to Emma. She had asked me for that. Quietly, in a corner somewhere. She wanted to forget. For forgiveness. A part of her had been horrified by what she had become, and how strong she needed to be. The sight of her crying in front of me, and the sincerity of emotions had made me acquiesce. And then I had pointed the remote at my head, and made me her best friend again as well.

But Sophia though. She had been behind it all. She had pushed Emma away from me. Turned her into a monster who attacked her best friend. Had gathered others. Had attacked civilians, and gotten away with it. Despite her powers. Had attacked me.

I hated her. And yet I felt guilty?! For doing what I had every fucking right to do? She believed in predator over prey, and I was the stronger. The better predator. I would show her.

Anger rising in me, I caught sight of the remote on my bedside table, and grabbed it. Pointed it at my head.

I had every right to get back at Sophia. That my body and mind were betraying me like this... it could not be allowed. I would remove this traitorous thought from my head. Remove my guilt over Sophia. I'd leave other guilt. Didn't want to turn into a sociopath, after all.

With a growl I pushed a button on the remote.

And then slept soundly for the rest of the night. No more guilt over Sophia.

I watched Pet skip across the canteen both from where I sat eating alone, and through the eyes of Madison, and wondered when Taylor had died. Was there one moment? One moment and push of a button? One moment when Taylor had become Queen? Or had it been more gradual? With Queen getting dominance, until Taylor ceased to exist, with each press of a button on a remote.

I didn't know. Perhaps I never will.

I didn't feel any guilt over what I had done to Sophia. I couldn't. I had taken that away from myself. Oh, I could still feel guilt. But Sophia, or now Pet, as she liked to be called? No. I couldn't do that.

By the time I realized that perhaps I was going too far with Sophia, it had been too late. I couldn't reverse it. If I did, I doubt I would be able to live with myself. Without guilt, I had taken it further and further. Revelling in the sadistic glee I got from torturing her. Then she had broke. Stopped resisting me. So I reset her. Made her forget breaking. And then I enjoyed it more. Until the next time.

It was only after she had begged to be destroyed completely that I wondered if I had gone to far. Though it was more an idle thought really. After all, I could not feel guilt for what I had done.

I had decided then that I could not undo the lack of guilt. To do so would destroy me absolutely. That was the moment that I realized that Taylor had died along the way. Taylor would never have driven someone to suicide, or even to beg for suicide.

I had still rest her. And continued playing with her. But my heart was not really in it anymore. Possibly that's why the next time it took slightly longer for her to break than usual.

The next time she had broken I had planned to be the last. Sixteen times was enough, after all. But then the flair of hope had just been too much to resist, and I had done it again.

She hadn't taken long to break that time. I had been rather more sadistic than usual. I had forced her to think of herself as Pet in the privacy of her own head. Had even started calling her that, and made some of my more trusted subjects call her that, when we were alone in locations alone.

And she had broken, and I had shown her the knowledge of all the other times she broke. This time, she had merely knelt there. Emotions were dulled. I almost reset her; even told her I might. It was only when she had raised her head and smiled weakly at me, and told me to do whatever I want that gave me pause.

Made me think of Taylor, really.

I decided to leave her be, and then Pet had been born. Among the best things to ever happen to me.

I liked Pet. She was so eager to please. My perfect little toy. And above all else, completely mine. In a way no one else was. And no one could change that. Even if they somehow removed all the mental blocks I had written into her, she would still be loyal to me. Still be my perfect little Pet.

Don't get me wrong. It isn't sexual in any way. Not really. Not on my part at least. I'm not interested in girls.

I feared losing her. Hated the thought of it. Especially to the PRT. I couldn't pull her out of the Wards without putting her in more danger. I had to protect her above all else. Above even Emma.

Only Emma and Pet were really my friends. Loyal to me. Everyone else was either forced to be, or wanted to be so for social power reasons. They were the only ones I could count on. The ones I must protect at all costs.

I would protect them. Make them worthy of my friendship. After all, they were my friends. Mine.

I had Madison sip the tea before her, smiling at something Emma had said. And plotted the best way to defend what was mine.