Chapter 4

"So how are my favorite commoners?" Tamaki asks as he wedges his way between Hikaru and Haruhi outside of campus, throwing an arm over both of their shoulders.

Hikaru stumbles and nearly cringes but Haruhi just tenses, not showing any other reaction. Hikaru wonders how often she's had to put up with this and he takes the blond's wrist trying to pry his arm off. "Stop calling me that. I'm not a commoner."

"Hikaru's not a commoner." Haruhi agrees. "Anyone who pays full out for college and gets a forty grand car for their birthday cannot be a commoner."

"Hey," Hikaru protests, dropping Tamaki's wrist. "I was surprised by the car too."

Tamaki laughs, pulling them closer.

Hikaru gives him a sideways glance. "Did you want something?"

"Well I know Hikaru's been feeling a bit stressed lately. But really who wouldn't finding out you have a dead twin?"

"Do you want to smack him or should I?" Haruhi asks dryly.

"I can think of better things." Hikaru catches Haruhi's gaze. He's remembers once when his father's friend came over for dinner with his wife. They had this weird eye thing where they could exchange words with a glance. The closest thing Hikaru ever had to a bond like that was with Haruhi. He jerks his head back hoping she'll catch on but she stares at him blankly before frowning and shaking her head. Hikaru turns away grudgingly.

Tamaki glances nervously between the two of them, on the verge of cowering. "You wouldn't do that right?"

"No Tamaki." Haruhi replies.

"Good," Tamaki brightens. "Because as I was saying who wouldn't feel down? And then your mother committed suicide in an insane asylum..."

This is far from the first time someone's brought up his mother, mainly the kids from elementary school trying to get a rise out of him. But Tamaki says it in such a good-natured way that's still somehow mixed with worry that it makes Hikaru feel like laughing. He grins as he looks to Haruhi again. She shrugs and they both quickly jerk back, making Tamaki lose his balance and fall into a tangled heap on the sidewalk.

Hikaru rests an elbow on Haruhi's shoulder not bothering to contain his laughter. "You should watch where you're going Tamaki. You might trip."

Tamaki sits up, rubbing the back of his head. "You two are so mean."

"Are you okay?" Haruhi steps forward, smiling and offering him a hand. "You have to admit you walked right into that one."

"Hikaru's a bad influence on you." Tamaki takes her hand, letting her help pull him to his feet, his fingers lingering against her skin a few seconds longer than needed. "I only meant that it might be good to unwind, do something fun."

Hikaru knows Tamaki wouldn't bring this up unless he has something planned. He frowns slightly. "What did you have in mind?"

Tamaki's eyes widen with excitement at actually being asked to explain. "Kyoya's older sister Fuyumi is coming down to visit with her husband Shido. They're having a third anniversary party."

"Why would I want to go to an anniversary party?" Hikaru rolls his eyes. "Sounds boring."

"Don't worry. It's completely casual and they rented out the whole hotel. They're even having a band."

"You mean they rented out a whole room." Haruhi corrects.

"No," Tamaki blinks. "The hotel."

Haruhi twitches, muttering something that Hikaru can't catch and he smiles over at her. "Did you want to go?"

"I don't know… I have that paper to write."

"C'mon Haruuuuhiii," Tamaki clasps his hands together looking somewhat pathetic. "It's just one night and it'll help out Hikaru."

"Will Kyoya be there?"

Tamaki nods vigorously. "Yeah! The whole gang."

"That would be nice actually. I haven't seen them in awhile." Haruhi shrugs, looking to Hikaru. "Did you want to go?"

Tamaki does have a point, it would be nice to get his mind off things for a while. When he thinks about Kaoru there's a deep surge of regret and he can't help thinking he killed Kaoru, he killed his twin.

He's caught himself wondering what could have been, if his mother hadn't gone insane, if he and Kaoru had grown up together. He wonders what having a brother would have been like, what Kaoru would have been like, if he would have been the same as him or different. He thinks they could have made a good team. Then at the same time all of its only speculation and Hikaru feels completely removed from the whole thing, distant, and numb. This is the only life he's ever had and in spite of everything he doesn't think it's turned out too bad. One glance at Haruhi confirms that. "I don't have anything better to do."

o0o

Tamaki wasn't kidding when he said they'd rented the whole hotel. The thing is huge and looks typically expensive. There are chandeliers, everything is white, and looks breakable. But then as the three of them make their way to the main party, there's a huge dance floor, strobe lights, shouting, and a rock band so loud it makes the walls vibrate. There's even a large pool in back and long tables of expensive food that Hikaru can't even begin to identify. He can't help thinking who does all of this for a third anniversary party much less has one. He's never met Fuyumi but he's beginning to think the girl has issues.

They stay close together, pushing their way through the crowd. Tamaki's eyes dart in all directions as he finally finds Kyoya, leaning against a table, a glass raised to his lips, and talking to an enthusiastic middle-aged woman.

Tamaki lifts his whole arm waving. "Hey, Kyoya over here!"

Kyoya either doesn't notice him or tires to ignore him but with the way he suddenly turns his head and walks off, Hikaru guesses it's the second option.

Tamaki lets his arm fall, frowning slightly. "I guess he didn't hear me."

"Tamaki!" A girl shouts from off to the side. She runs toward him, plowing into him, and makes him momentarily lose his footing. Her arms curl around his shoulders and Tamaki smiles, returning the hug.

She slowly steps back, her hands sliding to his forearms. "Wow, look at you! I can't believe how long it's been. Nearly two years right?"

Tamaki takes her hand in his, kissing the back. "And you're as beautiful as always."

She blushes. "You always say the sweetest things. Seriously though don't let Shido see you flirting with me." She grins and pokes him in the chest. "I don't think he could handle the competition."

So this has to be Fuyumi. Hikaru lets his eyes trace over her. He has to admit she's pretty and she's wearing a red dress made out of a stretchy material that clings to her every curve. She resembles Kyoya a little although that may be because her hair is pulled back, making her face look more angular than it probably is.

Tamaki tilts his head and Hikaru swears his eyes actually glitter. "Ah, I should be so lucky to compete for a fair princess such as you."

Fuyumi hits his arm playfully. "Enough already. So are you still coming over to see my brother?"

"Of course."

"Oh, that's good. Kyoya may not want to admit it but you've been a very good influence on him. He needs to learn to lighten up once in awhile."

Tamaki nods gesturing over to him and Haruhi. "Fuyumi, this is my friend Hikaru. And you remember Haruhi right?"

For a moment Fuyumi just stares and Hikaru notices that Haruhi suddenly tenses beside him, shifting her weight. She forces a smile, slowly lifting a hand. "Ahhh, hi Fuyumi."

Fuyumi instantly latches onto her. "Haruhi! You look so cute!"

"Ummm thanks?"

"Oh Haruhi," Fuyumi sighs. "I don't know why my brother didn't try harder with you. You could've been so great together." Fuyumi releases Haruhi only to let her eyes travel downward to Haruhi's white blouse and jeans. "You're not wearing a dress."

Haruhi toys with the edge of her sleeve. "I thought this was casual."

Fuyumi places a hand to her chin. "Well, it is but…"

And Hikaru decides to rescue her mostly because he's tired of being so thoroughly ignored. He moves slightly in front of Haruhi, thrusting a hand in front of Fuyumi's face. "Hi Fuyumi, nice to meet you. So do you go this far out for all your anniversary parties?"

Fuyumi doesn't take the proffered hand, her eyes narrowing in distaste as she glances between him and Haruhi. "That's right Tamaki's told me about you. So the two of you are…?"

Hikaru moves closer to Haruhi, wrapping an arm around her neck. "That's the basic idea."

Fuyumi completely disregards him as she takes Haruhi's wrist and jerks her forward. "Oh well, we can fix that. The dress I mean. I know I have another one lying around here someplace. Wait till Kyoya sees you in it. I know he'll love it!"

Haruhi laughs nervously, trying to pry herself from Fuyumi's grip. "That's really okay."

Fuyumi drags her forward. "And I have some clips that would look so nice in your hair."

"No wait, hang on. I didn't agree to this!"

They disappear behind a mass of people. Hikaru entertains the thought of going after her but doesn't since it's somewhat amusing and Haruhi's more than capable of taking care of herself. He lets his shoulders slump anyway. "Man, why does this always happen?"

Tamaki shoots him a sympathetic look. "I think it must be a Haruhi thing."

"I guess..."

Tamaki scans the crowd again, Kyoya's nowhere in sight. He shrugs. "Want to help me find Kyoya? We can stage a Haruhi rescue mission..."

There's more but Hikaru doesn't hear it. Everything seems to tilt, blur together. He turns away from Tamaki, blinking and rubbing at his eyes. It's almost as if he's back walking with Haruhi, right after they'd left the eye doctor's office. The music becomes static, voices blend together until they're one continuous hum. Everyone still moves around him but their movements slow and their faces distort.

It's as if he's the only one that exists. He's only aware of his own jagged breathing and his own heartbeat.

A clear shape manifests in front of him until he realizes he's looking at the same boy. He can't turn away and their eyes lock. He unconsciously takes a step forward but it's as if he's moving underwater. He wants answers, wants to shout 'What is it? What do you want?' His throat closes around the words and he's chocking, drowning. He fights for air but his lungs spasm. The boy watches him, slowly grinning. His teeth are rotten and black.

"Hikaru?" He distantly recognizes Tamaki's voice. It sounds far away, muffled.

"Hikaru!" There's a hand on his shoulder. The next thing Hikaru knows is that Tamaki's in front of him, looking concerned. "Are you alright?"

Hikaru's eyes refocus and he nods.

Tamaki takes a deep breath, visibly relaxing. "I kept trying to get your attention but you didn't answer. It was like you were in some type of trance."

Hikaru looks to where the boy had been standing. "Y-you didn't see it?"

Tamaki looks to the same spot, scrunching his eyes in confusion. "See what?"

Hikaru wonders what he must look like right now. He's disorientated, shaky, and his heart is still pounding. He doesn't want to seem off especially in front of Tamaki. "Nothing, I'm just feeling kind of dizzy. I think I'm going to get a drink and sit down for a few minutes."

Tamaki's hand tightens on his shoulder, the blond giving him a searching look, seeming unnaturally weary. "Are you sure? If you're not feeling well Haruhi or I could take you home."

Hikaru swallows down a surge of annoyance. He quickly moves away from Tamaki so he's out of reaching distance but forces a smile, trying to pass everything off. "No, I'm fine. Go find Kyoya if you want."

Hikaru walks away, not giving Tamaki a chance to reply.

o0o

Sitting down hadn't done any good and now he's in the bathroom. It's fancy with golden accents, long, and narrow. At least he has it to himself, it's away from the lights, and he can barely hear the music. He leans over the sink, every part of him throbs and he feels somewhat lightheaded. It's as if he's been growing more disorientated with each passing second. This isn't like him but he doesn't have any idea what's wrong. He's starting to scare himself.

A sharp pain runs through his head, he winces, presses his palm over his eye. Maybe he should just go home, let Haruhi know he's leaving. He doesn't want to ruin the party for her. She has such a close connection to her friends that he doesn't ever see himself being apart of. He's more than sure Tamaki will be willing to take her back and he'll say he needs to work on homework or something. Homework, like she'll believe that.

He looks up, catching his reflection in the overly large mirror. A chill runs up his spine. When his father told him his twin's name had been Kaoru, for a moment he couldn't move, couldn't breathe, his thoughts immediately straying back to what Matty had said. It was a coincidence, it had to be a coincidence, there was no way the four year old could have known that. But then he can't get rid of the gut wrenching, sickening feeling that tells him there's more to this. He's missing puzzle pieces. It's like the last time he saw his mother in the hospital. There's something watching, following his every step.

The lights flicker off with a dull buzzing, casting everything in complete darkness before momentarily coming back on.

Hikaru feels suddenly closed in and wants out but a wave of dizziness forces him to grasp the counter. He takes a few deep breaths. He'll just wait until it passes, find Haruhi, go home. "It's alright, calm down." He whispers but his throat is dry and it's hard to swallow, he feels as if there's something burning underneath his skin and he reaches to turn the water on, insects pour out of the faucet.

Hikaru jerks back, panic flooding his mind as he runs for the door. He twists the handle, finding it locked. He jerks, pulls at it but it won't move. Nearly unconsciously he turns to look back. The deformed crickets, large ants, and cockroaches fill the sink, falling off the edge of the counter. They come out from underneath the stalls, to the point where Hikaru can barely make out the white floor. The door to the last stall begins to shake. There's a pounding and the latch moves as if someone is trying to break through.

He can't think, he's back to trying to force the door open, pounding it. He knows he's screaming, he can tell from the vibrations in his throat. "Open the door! Open the door!"

o0o

It's Mori who Haruhi first sees or rather his head. He's in the back with Hani and Kyoya, towering over anyone else. She runs towards them.

"Haruhi!" Hani shouts through a mouthful of cake, layered with so much pink icing it nearly makes her cringe. Haruhi gives him a half-hearted smile, wedging herself behind Mori, gripping his shirt, hiding herself. She doesn't even have to duck.

"Sorry." She breaths.

"Ahh, don't mention it."

She has to admit she's impressed that the three of them don't seem surprised, although Kyoya raises an eyebrow. "Haruhi, what are you doing?"

Haruhi peeks around from Mori's arm. "Hiding," She says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "From your sister."

Maybe she imagines the corners of Kyoya's mouth quirking upward. "She's gone. I saw her dancing with Shido."

"Great." Haruhi steps away from Mori. "Shido must be... patient."

Kyoya twirls the stem of his wine glass between his fingers. It's a prop Haruhi realizes so it's easier for him to blend in, give him something to do with his hands. "While I'll admit she may be a bit eccentric. She's not too bad." Haruhi just catches him stiffening but he pushes his glasses up trying to hide it. "At least she's better than the rest of my screwed up family."

"I like Fuyumi." Hani chirps. "She told me I could have all the cake I wanted!"

"Ahh."

Haruhi leans slightly forward so she can see Kyoya's face better, grinning knowingly. "It's nice the two of you are close."

Kyoya doesn't comment, lifting his drink to his lips.

"She goes through his underwear drawer." Hani supplies.

Kyoya chokes. Haruhi absently puts a hand on his back. Mori shrugs, remaining impressively stoic. She blinks over at Hani. Since, they're talking about Fuyumi, it's actually not that hard to picture. She's torn between laughing and staring in shock. To bad Hikaru wasn't with her. "She does? Really?"

"Haruuuhiiii!" Tamaki runs up to them, looking slightly out of breath. He takes her shoulders pulling her so close that she's nearly pressed up against his chest. "I was looking everywhere for you!" He loosens his grip, settling for glaring at Kyoya. "And Kyoya I'm surprised at you! You heard me from earlier. I know you did!"

Kyoya clears his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Tamaki points a finger. "You do! Then you send your henchman Fuyumi to take Haruhi away so you can have her all to yourself for the remainder of the night!"

"Tamaki…" Kyoya begins tiredly.

"Don't try to deny it!"

Hani's eyes flicker between them, a fork pressed between his lips. Mori takes his arm, moving them both over to the sidelines. Ordinarily, Haruhi would take this moment to get away and join them but something feels suddenly off. It's almost as if there's another presence with her, whispering through her head. A cold sensation twists in her stomach, travels up her spine.

"I thought Hikaru was with you." She says loudly, focusing Tamaki's attention back on her.

The blond takes a step back rubbing at the back of his head. "Oh, well he was but he said he was feeling dizzy and went to sit down."

Haruhi glances to Mori. He scans the crowd without her having to say anything. "I don't see him."

"Is something wrong?" Hani asks, his voice shaky.

Haruhi doesn't answer, pushing past Tamaki. She can't explain it but the presence is still there. She can feel it with each beat of her heart, coursing through her blood, telling her to find Hikaru. Her stomach feels as if it's in her throat, something's wrong, deadly wrong.

"Hikaru!" She shouts, cupping her mouth, trying to be heard over the music. "Hikaru!"

"Haruhi," She vaguely hears Tamaki from behind her. "What…?"

"I don't know!" She pushes her way through the crowd, not caring if the others are following her. She doesn't have any idea where she's going but it's like she's being driven and she just runs.

She finds a hallway, can see the bathroom door. She can hear Hikaru's voice, hear him screaming. She reaches the door, shouting his name. She turns the handle but it won't open. "Hikaru, you have to let go I can't open it!"

She presses herself up against the door.

"Haruhi!" He sounds hysterical. Something's happening to him, there has to be. She tires the doorknob again, spreads her fingers out against the door where she knows his hand has to be, a few inches of wood separating them. She can nearly feel him.

"Hikaru! Hikaru!"

o0o

Hikaru lets himself sink to his knees, watching as Haruhi struggles with the door. Some of the insects have managed to travel up his clothes and burrow against his skin. He's stopped trying to brush them away. His breath catches in his throat and he freezes when he hears footsteps echo behind him. They're an uneven thumping that sounds deafening as they come slowly closer.

He fists his hands against the door. He doesn't want to look but every ounce of self-preservation he has is screaming at him to turn around and it's as if his head moves by itself. He sees a mismatched figure of himself. Its eyes are hollowed out and swarm with insects. It half limps, half crawls. Limbs jut out at awkward angles. The skin is a spider-web of pulsing veins, some parts look to have been sliced away, hanging in strips while other parts look melted and burned.

The thing moves toward him and Hikaru wedges himself underneath the sink. This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real he repeats to himself, trying to focus on anything that isn't here. He draws his legs up to his chest, lets his forehead fall against his knees. He shuts his eyes, covering his head with him arms, willing for it all to stop, go away.

He knows it's beside him, can hear it, feel it crouch down. This isn't real! This isn't real! There are fingers on his shoulder, the thing shifts closer. He can feel hot breath at his ear. "Do you like the dreams?"

o0o

Haruhi feels a strong hand grip her shoulder. She glances back, seeing Mori. "Move."

She gets out of the way as he reaches for the doorknob, ready to slam his shoulder into it, break the thing down but he doesn't have to do anything the door just opens. Haruhi runs past him, halting in the middle of the bathroom. For a moment she can only stare "Hikaru?"

He doesn't even look up and she joins him underneath the sink, placing one hand on his wrist and other on his shoulder. "I'm here." She doesn't know what else to say.

He flinches and tears sting her eyes as she wraps her arms around him. "It's okay." She repeats. "I'm here."

She feels him respond, his head falling against the crook of her neck, his arms winding around her back, clinging hard enough to leave bruises. "Haruhi." He breaths

Tamaki joins them a second later placing a hand on Hikaru's back and meeting her eyes in confusion.

"It was here." Hikaru says. "I could see it, the insects and I couldn't… I couldn't get away."

"Hikaru," Tamaki says slowly. "There's nothing here."

She feels Hikaru's fingers curl into the fabric of her shirt, she tries to keep her voice calm, level. "He's right Hikaru, look there's nothing here."

He moves slightly away from her, takes in the normal bathroom, although a slightly fancy one she has to admit. She doesn't know what he saw but she watches as his eyes glaze over and for a moment she thinks he's going to panic again. He doesn't, just tenses and clenches his hands. "But it was here." He protests. "It was right here!"

"What was here Hikaru?" Kyoya asks from where he's leaning against the doorway just in front of Mori. His voice is so unexpected, it makes her jerk her head up, Tamaki meets his gaze wearily but Hikaru doesn't move.

Haruhi wonders how much Kyoya's seen. His expression is grim and his eyes are narrowed in concentration. He knows about Hikaru's mother, about the mental illness, probably even more than she does although he's never brought it up to the others. To her it was only a couple of off-handed remarks. It goes with all the little details he knows about everyone and by the end of tonight he'll know everything. She can practically hear the gears turning in his head.

Kyoya's never irritated her before but now she has to bit her lip to keep from snapping at him. Hikaru's obviously needs their support and Kyoya doesn't have the right to dig into his mother's suicide or anything else. She knows first hand what it's like to lose someone and how painful digging up memories can be. Even now she can still hear the buzz of hospital lights. There's still the image of a doctor speaking to her and her father, telling them what's going to happen. The doctor's sympathetic but he never knew the way Kotoko's eyes sparkled when she won a case, or how she read her bedtime stories, or how she would jokingly smack her father on the back of his head. Still the doctor's sympathetic even as he breaks her world apart.

Hikaru interrupts her thoughts when he breaks away from her, running outside of the bathroom. She follows him and watches as he leans against the wall, taking deep breaths, his eyes momentarily flickering to Kyoya. "N-nothing. It was nothing."

Kyoya doesn't reply to him, instead turning to her. "I'd advise you to take him home."

"I'll come with you." Tamaki volunteers quietly before she can open her mouth. He looks genuinely worried and even to a greater extent solemn. She never would have associated that word with him in the past but Tamaki keeps having ways of surprising her. There's a lot more to him than what he's given credit for. She appreciates the offer but she knows Hikaru wouldn't. She only wants to get him away from everything, maybe if their alone he'll talk to her.

Haruhi shakes her head. "No, it's okay I've got it." She takes Hikaru's hand and he automatically intertwines their fingers.

"Be safe." Mori says as they move to leave the party. She catches Hani in the corner, toying with his fingers. In all the years she's known him, he hasn't changed much, still resembling the little kid she first took him for. She has to remind herself he's twenty-one now. She wonders what he's thinking but he notices her staring and glances up. She tries to smile for him. Somehow he's able to return it full force.

It isn't until they reach Hikaru's car and he wordlessly hands her the keys that Haruhi realizes she can still feel the presence from earlier. It's not nearly as strong but she feels it inside of her, pulsing through her. Thank you she whispers mentally. She's never believed in the paranormal before and she still doesn't, not really. It's not rational and even worse it's unattainable. She loves challenges but she wants clear facts that she can draw from. But something happened to Hikaru and she can't explain this thing inside her, how she knew where to go. It feels as if someone's taken her brain and put it in a blender until everything's so mixed up that nothing makes sense.

She climbs into the car when she hears Hikaru's door shut. He's never let anyone drive his baby. He's facing away from her. His elbow on the armrest and chin in his palm, staring out the window.

"Hikaru are you-"

"Please Haruhi… just drive."

She looks away from him and out into the dark. She shudders and for a moment wonders if the night is capable of swallowing her whole.

o0o

AN: Wow, I can't believe it's almost been a year since I've updated this. I really don't have an excuse other then I've lost some interest in this fandom although I still like writing the story so I'm not sure when the next update's coming. Thank you to everyone who took the time out to review and to read this. You guys really do make my day. Also if you have criticism don't be afraid to hold back. I'm not that happy with the way this chapter came out so I'd love to know anyway to make it better. Thanks for reading!