Otp: This one isn't as good as the other one but whatever, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Refer to chapter 3


Spork

Roy Mustang stared at the object he held in his hand. It mystified and confused him. He couldn't work out why it had been made or for what purpose it had been created. It didn't make sense to him. It was a mix of two completely different things that in all honesty, he thought didn't work well at all.

"Who invented the spork?" he asked aloud.

The other occupants of the office looked up from their work to stare at him.

"Why do you want to know sir?" Fuery asked.

Roy shrugged. "I'm curious to know why somebody would even come up with such an odd contraption. I don't see why it's so popular."

"It's popular because people can use it both as a spoon and a fork without having to bother with two utensils," Riza replied calmly from her desk.

Frowning, Roy twirled the spork between his fingers. "But why? I don't understand why you would use a spork when it doesn't work as well as a spoon or a fork."

"I don't think it matters. I mean look at it this way, you have a bowl of chicken noodle soup and you don't like the chicken. It's hard for you to eat the noodles with a spoon but you like the broth. The solution to this problem is to have something that's like a fork yet has the capabilities of a spoon at the same time. That is why you have a spork," Riza explained.

"Why would somebody get chicken noodle soup if they didn't like the chicken. That makes no sense," Roy protested.

Breda chuckled. "I think you're missing the point here, Colonel. There are things that only the spork can do that forks and spoons can't."

Roy didn't look the slightest bit convinced. Havoc shrugged and picked up the spoon he was using for his pudding. "I see where the Colonel is coming from. Why would you use a spork when you can't do this with it," he licked the spoon and placed it on his nose where it stuck there.

Breda and Fuery laughed and Riza rolled her eyes. She was truly surrounded by idiots who didn't have anything better to do than contemplate the usefulness of sporks.

Roy hadn't even noticed what Havoc had said he was still glaring at the spork almost willing it to divulge its secrets. Of course, he wasn't getting any reaction and that didn't help him any. After a few more moments of intense glaring, he stood up. He grabbed a clipboard and drew a line down the middle. He wrote 'Spork' at the top of one of the columns and 'Fork/Spoon' on the other.

Then he turned to his subordinates. "Alright, what do you prefer, sporks or forks and spoons?" he asked.

They stared and Havoc looked at him like he was crazy. "Are you serious?" he asked.

"Dead serious, now answer the question," he replied.

He got no reply from any of them. He sighed and turned to look at Riza. "Lt. Hawkeye, which do you prefer, sporks or forks and spoons?"

Riza held his gaze for a fleeting second before looking away shaking her head. "Sir, this is ridiculous and I refuse to answer your question."

Roy's eyes narrowed. "I don't think you have a choice in the matter Lt., now answer the question."

"No."

"I order you to answer the question."

"And that is abusing your power."

"And you're ignoring your commanding officer's direct order."

"That's right."

"…I could have you court marshaled for insubordination."

"I don't think they'd agree that it was insubordination when they find out the reason, sir."

"…"

"Sir, which do you prefer, sporks or forks and spoons?" Riza countered.

Roy paused. "Why are you asking me the same question I asked you?"

She shrugged."Just thought I'd ask since you seemed so interested in the usefulness of sporks."

He remained silent and this grabbed the attention of the others. Havoc grinned. "Come on chief, answer her question. We're dying from the suspense."

Roy shot Havoc a glare and strode back to his desk and slumped into the chair grumbling all the while. Riza just smiled and began to work once more. Roy on the other hand gave the spork one more cursory glance and muttered. "I hate sporks…"

Otp: Sporks have actually always confused me....Anyways, luvs hgus and pocky to all and reviews are much appreciated so until next time, laters!!!