Chapter Three – The First Tear:

They had been mostly silent the rest of the ride in. He hadn't released her hand until the fissure had been closed and the TARDIS had landed in the desired location after much prompting, it seemed. Rose had no idea where or when they were but as he lowered that last lever she felt the familiar rush of going somewhere and not knowing what was outside the TARDIS door. Somewhere new. Somewhere old. It didn't matter. It was somewhere she would appreciate because of him. Even if it was somewhere they had already been before, his company made it feel like new.

He straightened from the console, his hand still clasping hers and he merely gazed at her gently. "Go on," he said quietly and he motioned to the TARDIS doors with a nod of his head, his expression soft. "Not exactly new. But I think you'll like it."

She stood, looking at him for a long moment. Then, taking a deep breath, she loosened her grip on him and he let her, his fingers slipping out of hers slowly. Even as they drifted from each other's grasp, they still dragged it out, fingers brushing almost intimately before finally parting. Giving her a small smile, he lifted both hands and shoved them back into his pockets, standing straight and waiting on her against the console.

Lifting herself on tiptoe for a small moment, shoulders hunching in against herself as she grinned widely, she spun about and raced down the ramp toward the door. She would never tire of this, running that slight distance, hearing the sharp sounds echo in the TARDIS. She would never tire of taking hold of the door and opening it to discover what waited outside.

Grasping the TARDIS door, she yanked it open and she threw herself out without a second thought.

Into the middle of a busy sidewalk. Just like that. She came to a stop and looked about, her breath catching in her throat, her lips parting.

Home. She was home. She could never mistake it for anything else. Ever. The alternate world had been so different from this. The scent of the air, the way the people of that other timeline had held themselves. The dark colors. Here, there was laughter, the scent of chips in the air and the thought made her suddenly burst out laughing. And just like that, in the middle of laughing, tears rose in her eyes and she laughed and sobbed at the same time. Just laughed loudly, her spirit flying, her entire body feeling like it could float and follow clear after. And crying, her chest ready to explode from feeling so much. Constrained, held tight and stiff.

"It's beautiful," she said softly, lifting fingers to her face and wiping at tears as they overflowed. "It's so beautiful!" she shouted, throwing her head back and lifting her face to the sun that beamed down on her.

All around, people turned to look at her, several in confusion. But not one of them said anything, merely going about their business. And she didn't care. She let her hands fall numbly to her side, feeling so light. Airy. As if she could disappear with the wind.

So alive.

The TARDIS door closed quietly behind her and she felt him as he came out behind her, smelling him on the breeze, feeling his warmth as he simply stood there. He remained wordless, merely waiting for her, allowing her to take in her old world, all of it. The first impression after so long.

"Did they see us?" she asked quietly, still looking at all the people, all the unfamiliar faces. "Did they see us come out of the TARDIS?"

He answered her quietly. "Perception filter. Just another phone box. They don't care. You're fine."

She turned to look at him over her shoulder, blond hair flying with the gesture. He stood just a bit in front of the closed doors of the TARDIS, the soft breeze ruffling his hair. He looked down at her, a faint smile on his face even as he gazed at the tears on her cheeks. He lifted a hand slightly toward her but it was forgotten as she took a step and flung herself into him blindly. He fell back a bit in surprise but did not waste a moment to wrap his arms around her once more, clasping her tightly and burying his face in her shoulder.

"I should rescue you from an alternate universe more often," he murmured against her, his breath warm in her hair. "I get free hugs. And lots of them!"

She laughed, her face turned up into the air, the TARDIS standing behind their figures. "Anytime you want! You just ask me! Or just grab me! I don't care! I love this!" she cried, tilting her head into his and effectively giving him a sound knocking. "Oh, sorry!"

He merely laughed it off, hands sweeping up her back to grasp her face between his palms, his thumbs crossing along her cheeks and down to the corners of her lips as she pulled back to beam at him. He hesitated faintly as he gazed at her and her smile faltered slightly as she returned the stare, feeling the exhilaration ebb a tiny bit.

"I did miss that smile," he said to her softly, his gaze darting from one of her light brown eyes to the other. He had always had such an intense gaze, as if worlds and worlds of information were being processed in the blink of an eye. And no doubt that's exactly what was going on behind that gaze. Just that.

"I missed yours, too," she replied just as quietly, her head tilting up toward his as her smile widened, the tip of her tongue flicking out to poke at her teeth happily.

His eyes caught the gesture, eyebrows turning up solemnly for a moment and then, wordlessly, he pulled her close once more, one hand falling to her shoulder, the other clasping the back of her head and pressing it to his chest comfortingly. And she went, turning her head to rest her cheek against his collarbone. She inhaled his distinct scent deeply, that scent of Earth and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on, and stood in his warmth in the middle of the street.

Just the two of them in an embrace, a blue phone box behind them. That's all they were. And that was all she wanted to be right then and there. Maybe even forever.

The air definitely felt different, she decided. Perhaps more pollution in that other world? It was a trick of her mind, she was very well aware. But she couldn't seem to rid herself of the silly notion that the air of this world was cleaner, more pure somehow. She shook her head to herself as she thought it. Perhaps the air from that other world was polluted. It was playing tricks with her mind.

And the wind was a little bit colder. Maybe it was just that time for that kind of weather. Did time travel the same in that alternate world as it did here? She had been there for quite a few months and she had been stranded during the beginning of the winter. Was it now close to spring here? She had neglected to bring a jacket, having left it in the TARDIS. Perhaps that was why she was feeling chilly.

The Doctor had given her a few hours to herself. It had been the last thing she had wanted but he had insisted. She had the rest of her life with him, he had said. Better to make peace with her world once more now that she was back. He doubted, as did she, that they would be staying here long. Only long enough to come back every so often when she had a taste for home.

And so she rediscovered her old world, the streets, the people, the cars. The scents, the sights. All of it.

Cafés. She hadn't been partial to those but she hadn't seen many of those in that alternate world. It was wonderful to walk down the street and see several open for business, outdoor seating filled almost to the brim with happy faces and laughter ringing out. Had people smiled and laughed in that other world?

Of course they had, now she was just being silly. But she couldn't blame herself. That alternate world had been gray, devoid of anything good for her except for her family, the addition of the baby that her mother had been expecting. Everything else had been bleak and miserable.

Because of him, no doubt. Wherever he went he brought color and life. Even if he had been quick to dispel those images and ideas about him, she had held onto them, steadfast in her convictions. He had been her sun and moon, her day and night. All in one tall skinny package. The thought brought a small smile to prick at the edges of her mouth as a light, lilting voice suddenly reached her ears. Cocking her head she searched the rest of the street seeking out the owner of the voice. Someone was singing, in tune with what sounded like a piano. And in French? She didn't understand a word of French but she knew enough to be able to recognize the language.

If the TARDIS had been present, she would've comprehended the language perfectly.

Hurrying a little, she made it to the end of the street and rounded it curiously.

A woman sat just inside a small open cafe not too far from the corner, slender and dark-haired. Beside her on a piano stool sat an older man, his fingers gently trailing across the black and white keys of a large ebony piano, eyes closed as she sang quietly to his beat. Almost haunting. She came closer to the edge of the outdoor seating for the cafe, aware that she was not the only one listening to the woman as several people were seated and having their refreshments. There was a small advertisement in the windows of the cafe but from where she stood she could not see the name of the act. Looking back at the woman, she moved closer to one of the outdoor seats of the cafe, unwilling to sit to order anything but wishing to listen just a bit more.

There had been nothing like this display in the alternate world. So many curfews, rules and regulations. And she'd had a hand in all of it after the alternate Torchwood had been set up with her in one of the key positions. She had decided that there was too much ground control to be done. She had decided on the curfew. She had approached the government agencies concerning the new rules for that new age in an alternate universe so far and yet so close she could almost touch it. She had been in charge of that and so much more in the small amount of time she had been there. And she knew why she had set it up that way. In that other world there had been no Time Lord to guard, to defend, Earth. There had been Torchwood and other small agencies that didn't even merit a thought. But here, now, there was someone to watch over Earth, who was so much better at the job than she could ever hope to be. And to walk through these still pure streets now as nothing more than an ordinary citizen, a part of her reveled in it as if it had become a newfound freedom.

Maybe she would have a cup of tea then. A cup, a moment of peace and a lilting French song to relax to.

Looking about for the entrance to the outdoor seating, her eyes came to rest on a gentleman she had come to stand by and she felt herself start.

"Doctor?"

If he'd heard her, he made no indication. He sat at a small round table, his hands hidden away in his pants pockets, his face mostly blank save for the weariness. The same crazy brown hair, spiky and soft at the same time. The dark eyes, hooded, staring vacantly. And the hard set to his jaw, his head bowed.

Coming closer, she bent over a little, a hand reaching out a bit. "Doctor, what are you doing here?"

Still, now seeming to blatantly ignore her, he continued to gaze at the singing woman, his brown suit jacket hanging from the back of his metal chair, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, brown tie loose. She stared at him, a frown crossing her face. And lifting the same hand she had been reaching with, she waved it in front of his face.

Not a thing.

Falling into a crouch beside him, she looked up at him, her eyes trailing across his face. He stared for another moment at the woman, slouched low in his chair, one leg bent and resting across the seat of another chair at his table, the other foot stretched along the ground. And the expression on his face. She felt her eyebrows draw up, waving that hand at him yet again. "Doctor, can you hear me?"

Breathing in deeply for a moment, he suddenly glanced away from her and over to his right for a quick look, surveying the rest of the people that surrounded him outside the establishment itself. Then his eyes shifted back to the woman singing, before he turned his head in her own direction, eyes trailing across the city around him.

Irritably, she moved to poke him in the shoulder. And her finger slid completely through the material of his shirt, straight into where his skin and bone should have been.

She gasped violently, dragging her hand back as if she had burned herself and snapping to her feet in one fluid movement.

The Doctor continued to sit in silence, his gaze darting around the streets, nothing holding his attention for longer than a few moments. As if she hadn't even reached out and tried to touch him.

Hesitating, glancing down at her hands and seeing them completely corporeal, Rose frowned slightly before lowering herself back down to a crouch and looking up at him. And she meant to speak his name again, attempted to make him pay her attention just to prove that he was real. That she was real. But as she gazed at him she felt a pained shiver run through her at the expression on his face, the utter weariness. "Why do you look like that?" she whispered in confusion, her eyes straying from one of his moonlit dark eyes to the other, wishing she understood. Wishing she could tell what was wrong. "You look so sad...but you were so happy earlier."

Shifting a bit, the Doctor looked up at the sky, his face registering the fact that it was getting dark. Looking down at the cup of tea before him on the table, he merely stared at it for a long silent moment, inhaling deeply and then exhaling the same breath tiredly.

Still confused, she lifted her hand back up, this time to his face, inch by inch, giving him enough time to stop her hand if he decided to acknowledge her. If he could acknowledge her. But then she had crossed the small distance and she felt the pricks of an unshaven jaw under her fingertips. She paused, running her fingers over the blunt hairs in confusion, taking in the circles under his eyes. And just as she frowned once more at the tiredness of his face, his eyes darted toward her, unseeing.

"Doctor?" she asked him hoarsely, her eyes widening, her hand recoiling backward at the sudden turn of his head.

He showed no sign of having heard her but his brow was turning in, a frown slowly crossing his face as well. And as she lifted her other hand and pressed it to his opposite cheek, his lips parted, his eyes becoming a bit larger in uncertainty.

"Can you hear me?" she demanded, her hands grasping him by his face firmly now. "Doctor!"

But even as she went to call to him again, as she went to rise from her crouch, her hands suddenly sank through his face. Just like that, abruptly becoming translucent, they slipped through his cheeks as he searched the area beside himself where she crouched in an expression akin to disbelief. Sitting up as she settled back on her haunches numbly, she barely registered that he had jumped to his feet, his brown pants falling loose around his legs as he took a step back.

What is this?

Looking down at her hands, she continued to stare at them. But they were solid. Not translucent. They were solid once more, sturdy as she lowered one to the ground to feel the rough unevenness under her fingertips. A dirty ground under her. Lifting her eyes in confusion, her heart suddenly beating triple time, she looked toward him.

And found him to be gone.

Staring in confusion, her hand held up before her, she strained to look into the cafe, searching the tables wildly. He was just gone. Brown suit jacket as well, just suddenly gone. Her lips parting, she stared blindly, confusion overwhelming her almost to the point of dizziness.

"Doctor?" she called tremulously, aware that her voice sounded faraway and frightened. Like a small child's.

A hand closed around her shoulder, startling her. She spun in her crouch and looked up at an older man bending over her, his face worried. "Are you all right there, love?" he asked her through what seemed to be a wall. His voice came muffled, like sound echoing in water, his grip on her shoulder gentle.

She blinked at him in confusion, her mouth hanging open. "W-what?"

The man looked about awkwardly before asking once more, "I said, are you all right?"

And she suddenly became aware that she was the center of attention. The French singer had stopped and was now standing beside her companion, looking curiously over at the pair of them. And the patrons surrounding her also seemed a bit worried, several murmuring quietly and pointing at her.

Rose hesitated, looking around and feeling everything to be almost surreal for a small moment. "Did you…did you see him?" she asked the older man, managing to point at the empty table she still crouched beside. "The man, there. Did you see where he went?"

The man took a second to respond, releasing her shoulder and lifting the same hand to swipe back white-blond hair uncomfortably. "There was no one there," he replied to that, shrugging halfheartedly.

She stared at him in disbelief. "Sorry?"

A woman from the table next to hers leaned over, sympathetic. "There was no one there," she answered for the man. "You just...came up, waving your hand and started calling for a doctor. Do you need one?" And she managed to look embarrassed as she asked the question, a blush rising in her cheeks. "I mean, are you feeling well?"

Staring at her before looking about at the small crowd that was gathering around her, she suddenly sprang to her feet, startling the man who had originally spoken to her. "I'm fine," she managed to make out. She looked at the empty table once more, her frown deepening before she shook her head. She hadn't imagined him. He had been there, she was certain of it. She couldn't have imagined the sorrow in those dark eyes. "I'm fine. Excuse me. I'm sorry." And brushing past the older man, she broke out of the small crowd and began to run, her head down in confusion and shame.