Sasuke: What am I doing here?
Rain: Whatever I say.
Riku: in shock What about ME?
Rain: Well...that's what I have to talk to you about.
Riku: What?
Rain: This chapter...is about who gets to be in the Author's Corner for the time being.
Sasuke: I can kill this guy.
Rain: No! You can't kill him! He's in my story!
Riku: I think I'd like to stop talking about killing Riku...
Dislciamer: counting on fingers I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Sasuke, Alvin and the Chimpmunks, or Ian Newby, or Bo-bobo, or Kiyo, or...I'm going to run out of fingers for this!
Rain stood in the living room, talking on her cell-phone. "Yeah, I ordered an extra-large pizza 4 HOURS ago. I'd BETTER get it free." She put down the phone and called for Riku.
Riku walked in, and pointed to the couch. "Who's he?"
"I'm Sasuke," said Sasuke.
A bunch of girls screamed through the window, and Rain had to pull the blinds down. "I hate it when they do that."
"Huh." Riku crossed his arms. "You think you're so cool, don't you, Mr. I-think-I'm-so-cool."
"No," said Sasuke. "You do."
"Ooh," said Rain. "Good one."
"I do what?" asked Riku, confused.
"Think I'm cool." Sasuke didn't even blink.
Riku was very confused now. "Wait, I think I'm cool, or I think you're cool?"
Sasuke blinked. "You do."
"I do what?" Riku frowned.
"Think I'm cool," said Sasuke, becoming puzzled.
"You think you're cool?" asked Riku.
"Yes," said Sasuke. "Wait, no. I-"
"Would you two stop it?" yelled Rain.
"Why is he here, anyway?" said Riku, trying to regain control.
Rain looked from Sasuke to Riku. "Well...he might...how should I say...be REPLACING you in the-"
"WHAT?" cried Riku. "You can't replace me with that...that..."
"Bishounen," said a fangirl.
"Right," said Riku, then he did a double take. "Wait, what is she doing in here?"
"I smell trouble," muttered Rain.
"I smell something burning," said Sasuke.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sora screamed from the kitchen. "IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!"
"Cricket, cricket, cricket," said Ian Newby.
Rain turned and looked at Ian. "Would you get out of here?"
"I wore a fat-suit for Halloween," said Ian, walking out the door.
"Yeah, we know. And you get to be Sainta Nickolaus." Rain rolled her eyes. "Just get out."
Finally, Ian was gone. Or maybe he was in the kitchen, being used to put out the flames. Who knows? Not that anything is being implied...
Sasuke stood up. "This is really boring. Why did you bring me here?"
"Boring?" Riku cracked his knuckles. "Time to heat things up a bit, eh?"
Sasuke sneered. "You think you can beat me? You're just a weird kid with blue hair."
"IT'S SILVER!" screamed Riku.
"Look, his face is turning red!" said Yuffie from out-of-nowhere. "Now he's red-white-and-blue!" She started singing 'Stars and Stripes Forever'. "Oh, hurray for the red, white, and blue-"
"Where did you come from?" asked Sasuke.
"From out of nowhere!" Yuffie exclaimed. "Didn't you read the sentence up above?"
"Oh," said Sasuke, "Right."
"It's-a-palooza!" shouted Yuffie, blowing up an orange balloon.
Rain started singing. "Clowns are from the circus, barking comes from dogs, eggs come from a chicken and log cabins come from logs, but where, where do they make balloons?"
Yuffie grabbed a tank of helium and started blowing up more balloons.
All of a sudden, Alvin and the Chipmunks popped out of the wall. "Did someone say Helium?" asked Alvin in his annoying voice. "We breathe that stuff!"
"Yeah," said Simon, "and we breathe it so much that now we're addicted."
"I like pie!" said Theodore. "Wait, where's Teddy?"
Rain was lighting a fuse on a fire-cracker attached to a teddy-bear. "Oh, uh...oops." The bear blew through the ceiling.
"TEDDY!" screamed Theodore.
"I can get you up there," said Rain. "For 5 bucks."
"Hurry, Teddy needs me!" said Theodore, handing Rain a $5 bill. "Keep the change."
"There is no change." Rain looked at the money in her hand. "You know what, launching fees just went up, so I'm gonna have to charge you extra."
"Oh. How much extra?" said Theodore, digging in his green dress.
"$50." Rain put her other hand out. "Pay up."
Theodore gave her a $50 bill.
"Hey, where did you get all that money?" asked Alvin, clearly jealous.
"I swiped it off Dave," said Theodore. "I was going to buy some FOOD." He started drooling.
By then, Rain had taped another rocket to Theodore. "There you go, time for blast-off!" She lit the fuse and started counting down. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"
There was an explosion, and when the smoke cleared, everyone looked up through a hole in the roof. Theodore was just a little speck, following another little speck, that was presumably Teddy.
"I'm coming, Teddy!" Theodore's shrill scream could be heard all the way in the house.
Just then, the second speck blew up in a gigantic explosion.
"Ahhhh!" screamed Theodore. "Teddy!"
There was another explosion. Several minutes later, little bits of Teddy started falling from the sky.
"You might want an umbrella," said Rain, handing one to Riku.
Then little bits of Theodore and his green dress started raining down on them.
"Crud!" said Alvin. "What about my show?"
Suddenly there was a voice that rang through the house. "ALVIN!"
Dave through the door, grabbed Alvin by the throat, and started shaking him around. "You stole my money, Alvin!"
"Why's it always me?" asked Alvin, trying to keep his little neck from snapping.
"Dave loves Alvin the most and hates Alvin the most," said Rain, sweeping up Theodore parts.
"All right!" said Riku as soon as the chipmunks and Dave were gone, and Theodore was cleaned up.
"Thanks!" called Rain out the front door to someone carrying wood and a hammer. "Now Theodore won't come raining through my roof again!"
"No problem!" called Kiyo. Then he ran into a post. "A little help? I can't feel my legs."
Rain shut the door. "Ah, that Kiyo. Such a kidder."
"Hey, I'm serious!" But poor Kiyo was forgotten for the time being.
"So," said Riku, turning to Sasuke. "Methinks it's time to finish this up."
"Who says 'methinks'?" said Rain.
"Someone who's about to get his butt whooped," said Sasuke, standing up. "Let's go!" He reached for a shuriken.
"Oh, it's on." Riku grinned, and pulled out his Soul Eater.
But before they could exchange blows, or even one more insult, Sora came flying through the newly-patch ceiling. He landed on Sasuke, and half of the roof landed on Riku.
"Oh, sorry if I interrupted anything," said Sora, sitting up.
"Of course not." Rain put her hands on her hips. "Well, that settles it. Sora is the new co-host!"
A disco ball came down from the ceiling and started spinning around, throwing flashing lights against the walls. Confetti rained down from the ceiling.
"Woo!" Sora stood up and started dancing as the theme from Bobobo started playing.
Rain smiled, then frowned. "What is that music doing in my stereo-system?"
Then, to everyone's horror, or at least everyone who was conscious, Bobobo flew down from the ceiling, dressed in an Elvis costume.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" shrieked Rain, grabbing her head. "IT'S THAT IDIOT BOBOBO!"
Bobobo started driving matchbox cars around the floor. "Vroom vroom!"
Rain pulled out a mallet and hit Bobobo in the head. "Got him!" yelled Rain, trying to smash the mini Don Patches that were scurrying around on the floor.
"What's going on?" asked Sora, freaked out.
Just then, Bobobo's head opened up and Mickey Mouse popped up. "Hey, folks!"
"It's the King!" said Sora.
"Oh great, just another thing I needed." Rain put her mallet down. "I think this calls for secret technique #48!" She started doing Kung-Fu. "Fist of the pink poodle!"
Then Kiyo flew through the ceiling. "AUGH!" he screamed, hitting the floor. "I think that's it for my spine!"
Rain, mistaking him for Bobobo, kicked him in the head. "Woops. Well, no damage done." She turned away from Kiyo, who now had blood running down the side of his face.
Rain: Well, that was kind of chaotic.
Sora: No kidding.
Riku: Why aren't I in this author's note?
Rain: You lost.
Riku: But so did Sasuke! Who won?
Rain and Sora: Sora!
Riku: What? But he wasn't even-
Rain: Sora won. Don't be a sore loser. And, besides, I was getting tired of Sasuke anyway. He's annoying.
Sasuke: Whaaaaat!
Rain: You heard me! Now, let's not make the readers suffer any more, hm?