((Insert random groaning noises here))

Bad times… Just don't ask.

"…Hikari?"

Hinata's heart froze in her chest… her mother? What… why? He thought Hinata was her mother? Did she really look that much like her? It just wasn't possible in Hinata's eyes, her mother was a great woman, and a strong leader alongside her father until her death…

"You've got the wrong girl." Naruto said, loudly enough to break Hinata from her thoughts. "This is Hinata. Frankly I'm glad to see she didn't get any of her looks from you, old bastard…"

"Wh-what!?" Hiashi bellowed as his thoughts were abruptly shattered as well. "What did you do to her, you demon!?"

Naruto appeared before Hiashi, his fact not two inches from the clan head's as the blonde knelt upon the man's desk, before anyone in the room could see him move. "You know, I could have you carted away for treason, saying that in front of Kiba and Shino, who have no idea what you're talking about… and then Hinata would become clan head by default, and we wouldn't need to discuss what we came here today to speak on. Your daughter, however, knows everything." Naruto hopped back off the desk, and cheerfully added; "So, when would you like the ANBU to pick you up? I see no downside to this deal!"

Naruto smiled back at the man. His whisker marks apparently grew more defined with age, alongside his canine teeth elongating, giving him a feral quality that would have most men quivering in fear…

"No!" Hinata called out, racing forward and taking Naruto's arm in her own pair. "Please, Naruto-kun… he may be mean, b-but… he's my father!" She pleaded, her eyes tearing up as she gazed intently into his. Naruto was honestly proud of the girl. They'd worked on her stuttering for the better part of their entire training time, and she was making excellent progress.

Nonetheless, Naruto sighed. "I know, I was just messing with him. I'll leave him alone." After saying this, Naruto cupped his hand around Hinata's chin, tilted her head up, and pressed his lips to hers.

Hiashi was furious. "Get away from my daughter this instant, peasant!"

Naruto gave the older man a halfhearted glare. "So what, no more 'demon'? Bah… to be honest, I'm probably more noble than Hinata is. Erm, no offense, dear…"

Hinata just snuggled into his chest when he called her 'dear'.

Before Hiashi could put up any argument, Naruto had already jabbed a kunai into his own arm and imbedded it into the wood of the man's desk. "My father was Yondaime Hokage. Go ahead and use that for a blood analysis if you want. If the old man gives you any trouble, just tell him you've got clearance under amendment 3472-C of the Konoha charter."

"What!?" Hiashi yelled again, this time in confusion. The man did not like being confused.

"Well, my entire history is one big secret, which makes up amendment three-four-seven-two, but the 'Dash C' part gives me authorization to tell other people about them." Naruto said, smiling almost idiotically. "By the way, Hinata's moving in with me, we're just here to get her stuff."

By this time, the Hyuuga clan head was already bright red with rage. "This is an outrage! You cannot-!"

"Oh I can…" Naruto said, smiling broadly again. "I already set it up with Sarutobi about a week ago. I'm officially the head of my father's clan, giving me the same rights and privileges that you've got, including a seat on the council which I'll be giving to Hinata whenever she decides the wedding's gonna be." Naruto was interrupted when the girl in his arms collapsed into unconsciousness from the blonde's unorthodox proposal. "Anyway, you wouldn't dare touch her because the second you or anyone else in Konoha raises so much as a finger to bring harm to my girl, I'll call up all of Kyuubi's power, and finish what it started." Hiashi visibly paled at the thought of the Kyuubi running rampant again… Naruto was just lucky that Kurenai had ushered Kiba and Shino out of the room a few moments before he'd said it.

"You wouldn't…" The man said, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Let Kyuubi out? Hell no…" Naruto chimed eccentrically. "What I said was that I'd use its power and kill you myself. The Hokage has given me full authorization to take action against anyone that would do harm to me or my own. That's 3472-D, which had I known about from the start, I would've killed over half of Konoha in self defense by now. As soon as Hinata wakes up and accepts my marriage proposal, she'll fall under that category, and you won't even be able to put that seal on her without me killing you within my full legal right to do so." Had Naruto not been laden down by the very girl he spoke of, he would've crossed his arms and posed haughtily.

Hiashi couldn't help but fall back into his chair and stare at the boy. He'd been outfoxed by a… well… a fox! Hiashi used every hint of subtlety in his being to mask the deep breath it took to calm down. "I assume there is something you want?" He asked, taking on his political 'game face'.

"As a matter of fact, there is…" Naruto answered.

Hiashi held back a smirk. He knew it… the Kyuubi brat was just like everyone else. He had a price, and if Hiashi could meet it, this whole thing will blow over like it never happened…

"…Your daughter's wellbeing and happiness." Naruto finished, catching Hiashi by surprise. "So your 'all-seeing eyes' didn't catch that one coming, eh? I love Hinata, and there's nothing you can do to keep us apart." Naruto grinned, shaking the girl in his arms lightly. When she wasn't roused, he tried again, and started mumbling about how hard it must be to get one's timing straight as he broke out a tiny bundle of smelling salts to wake her.

"Nnn… Naruto-kun?" She mumbled, barely awake and looking up at him through barely parted eyelids.

"Hinata, marry me?" The blonde asked, receiving a nod before she passed out again, smiling the entire time. "Okay, that settles that, then… Kurenai! Take Hinata to her room and help her get her things, please…" As the older woman came and took Hinata, Naruto walked over and sat down next to Hiashi.

Once he was sure they were alone, the Hyuuga spoke. "So, they say you're from the future…"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "You're a lot less of a bastard in four years."

Hiashi let out a grim chuckle. "Good to know…"

"I think it's because you stopped convincing Hinata she was never going to succeed, and actually tried to help her instead. You failed miserably, mind you, but you still tried, and that's worth a lot to me." Hiashi blinked at the blonde. "You trained Neji yourself, after you two reconciled, and Hanabi didn't turn out too bad… She had a stick up her ass from birth just like most of you Hyuuga, but at least she didn't go Itachi like I thought she would…" Naruto had to laugh at Hiashi's wide-eyed stare when he said that. "She wasn't strong enough to do it, anyway. Just lay off the 'perfection' shit, and she'll be less of a bitch."

Hiashi sighed. "So, I'm a horrible father, am I?"

Naruto glanced over at the man lazily. "Take solace in the fact that you were better than Fugaku. If Hinata wound up like Itachi, the world would probably implode."

Both men shared a soft laugh at that, before a branch member came in to clean up the various messes, and was sent to get sake for the two of them. Hiashi then plucked the bloody kunai from his desk, as the servant was hesitant to even look at it. "Do I really need to have this checked?"

"No, but you will anyway because you're a stickler for detail and a skeptic to the end. That and you're just an ass that has an inbred need to prove everyone else wrong." Naruto sighed. "I can pull off all of the Yondaime's signature jutsu, and I've even improved on a couple of them, but that'll never be enough for you to be sure. Even after you get the results of the test, you'll probably just stare at the picture of your wife, brother, sister-in-law and you smiling that you've got hidden under the book of Hyuuga mandates in the top drawer of your desk for a while, wondering how the hell you could've doubted me in the first place." Naruto said with a shrug. He wasn't sure what was up with Hiashi, but his face was somewhere between constipation and needing to sneeze. "Heh, you and I wound up drinking buddies. I know a lot more about you than I'd care to, really…" They stopped talking again as a new servant girl brought two small bottles of sake in on a tray. The previous boy was probably too scared to come back in the room right then… When she left, they continued. "Anyway, you're not the worst father in the world, or at least you won't be if you lighten up a little. You can go ahead and name Hanabi the heiress, I'm pretty sure Hinata can't be it anymore, anyway… just be nice to her, and she'll be good for the clan, okay?"

Hiashi smiled down at the boy. "And I suppose you're not the worst son-in-law in the world…"

The blonde smiled broadly and chuckled, raising his bottle to Hiashi. "To not being the worst!" The older man solemnly clinked his bottle against Naruto's and they both took a swig.

---

Once Kurenai had succeeded in waking Hinata, the two set into Hinata's room. Kurenai had sent Kiba and Shino off to spar in a nearby training ground, so as not to interrupt them. Since none of Hinata's clothing fit now, it was a simple matter to collect up all of the things that held sentimental value to her, and pack them away in a scroll.

Upon returning to where they left Hiashi and Naruto, they were shocked to find them laughing and joking around like old war buddies. When the men saw Hinata and Kurenai, they sobered themselves for polite conversation, and stood from their seats. "Everything's been sorted out." Naruto said, walking out to meet Hinata. "Hinata can leave the Hyuuga without any complications, and Hanabi will be made the new heiress. Plus, Hinata looks to have about the same sizes as her mom, and Hiashi still has some of her old clothes that he never threw out!" Hiashi nodded along with the blondes words.

Kurenai stepped forward, standing next to the young couple. "So then he's okay with Anko and the baby?" From the fearful shroud that fell over Naruto's features, she'd have to assume Hiashi didn't know about that yet…

"What baby…?" Hiashi asked darkly. "And who's Anko?"

Naruto sighed, standing between Kurenai and Hinata as he answered. "I had a few too many drinks one night, one thing led to another, and I woke up in bed with a woman named Anko. A couple weeks later, she tells me she's pregnant." Naruto could feel the rage boiling in Hiashi's eyes as the man glared at him. "Hinata already knew about that, though. Me and Anko aren't together, but we still plan to raise our baby as a family, with Hinata's help."

The Hyuuga head nodded reluctantly, motioning for Hinata to follow him.

"I still don't get what his problem is…" Naruto muttered, scratching the side of his head in confusion.

"Most people tend to like having their first grandbaby be related to them." Kurenai offered, only getting a confused look in return. "The child of his son-in-law is his grandchild, regardless of whether or not he's biologically related to them. That, and any parent would be angry about a situation like this…"

Naruto couldn't do anything but nod in response.

---

Saying Hiashi had 'a few trinkets' of his wife's laying around was like saying there was a pinch of salt in the ocean. A complete understatement… The man hadn't thrown out a single thing that had once belonged to his wife. Hinata only took enough to fill the closet she'd have at Naruto's home, but that was hardly a dent on the large wardrobe her mother once owned, through no fault of her own. Hinata's father would simply buy her mother whatever she wanted, even if she told him not to. Upon hearing this, Naruto considered turning one of the many spare rooms into a wardrobe for her, but Hinata convinced him not to.

It was a simple matter to move Hinata into Naruto's home. It really only took a little over an hour to put everything in her room and get it looking nice. It was sometime during this hour that it finally sunk in that Hinata and Naruto were going to be married, and so she decided they would consummate their union that very night, since based on what Naruto had said about his mission the next day, he'd be gone for almost a month. They also used protection. The last thing Naruto needed was two pregnant women living in his house…

---

The next morning found a bun-haired girl, a Hyuuga with a fate complex, and a boy in a green leotard standing before the Hokage. "You three are to be part of a four-man cell, going out on a long-term C-Rank mission. The point of this is to act as your fourth member's provisional Chuunin test. Based on your own accounts and the success of the mission while acting in place of your team's Jounin sensei, he may be permitted the rank of Chuunin outside of the primary exam." The three Genin looked upon the man with wide eyes. "This is not an often talked about means of attaining the rank, and is only done when one shows promise far beyond their own rank. I can say with little doubt that should he enter single combat with any other member of our village, he stands a good chance of being victorious, regardless of his opponent's rank." Sarutobi spoke from experience, as he'd snuck out of his duties several times in the past weeks to train with the boy so that he could, in the blonde's own eccentric words, 'Beat the shit out of that snake-fucker'. Sarutobi still won every match they had after the first, but he'd admittedly underestimated the boy, causing him to hold back their first fight, and ultimately lose. The boy obviously had skills that were at least low Jounin, and stamina and chakra capacity well beyond that of any recorded Kage.

"How… how is that possible?" Tenten asked rhetorically.

Of course, Sarutobi was a man who couldn't help but teach the youth of his village. "By utilizing his immense chakra capacity and the memory transference abilities of Kage Bunshin, Naruto-kun has accumulated more than thirty years of training in this month alone…" He could only smile as the eyes of the three Genin seemed to bulge out from their skulls, until a click was heard from the door behind them. "Ahh, here he is now…"

As the three Genin spun around, the door opened to reveal a blonde man with bright blue eyes and dark whisker-like marks on his cheeks. He wore simple black clothes under a black jacket with red stripes down the sides and arms, and a red Konoha leaf on the back, not that they could see it yet. He also wore his forehead protector, which now had black cloth, as a second belt, much like Gai and Lee. As far as equipment went, he had a kunai holster strapped to either thigh with what appeared to be dark red bandages, along with a large knife belted over his right shin and several equipment pouches on the black leather belt beneath his forehead protector. They could only guess at what he had hidden elsewhere on his body…

Naruto strode up to stand beside Tenten, whom he smiled at when he noticed she was blushing. "Genin Uzumaki, reporting for acting Jounin duty, sir."

"Good, good…" Sarutobi said, nodding to the boy. "You will all report to the west gate in one hour, to commence the operation."

Naruto scoffed. "People, I'll want you to half that. You're not the green bitches that'd take more than ten minutes to get ready." Team Gai was obviously shocked at the blonde's choice of language in front of the Hokage. "By your leave, sir, I'm already waiting for them at the west gate…" Naruto said, before turning into a puff of smoke, revealing him to be nothing more than a Kage Bunshin.

Sarutobi chuckled. "You heard the man… you've got a half hour to meet him and your client at the gate."

---

Just under twenty minutes later, the newly formed temporary 'Team Naruto' and Tazuna were standing by the gate, checking over their equipment one last time before setting off. "I hope you know I'll be training you in all sorts of things Gai wouldn't during the duration of our trip. I am well aware of Lee's condition, and just so you know, there are many aspects to ninja fighting that do not require chakra, such as wire-fighting and weapons training." By now they were already outside the gate, and continued walking. "For example… Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" With a pop and some smoke, the group was instantly encircled by a dozen Naruto clones. "This is why weapons training and wire training are best used hand-in-hand…" Naruto flicked his wrist, and a kunai with a wire tied to it was caught in his hand, and flew toward the Naruto in front, catching it in the throat, before being pulled back via the wire to impale one of the Naruto clones behind them, and was subsequently used to dispel every clone without once returning to the blonde's hand until the last clone was destroyed. "Aside from the jutsu to make the clones, I used no chakra whatsoever in that maneuver." During the entire presentation, Naruto had never ceased his gait, always walking at the same sedate pace even as he spoke. "I'm sure Tenten wouldn't mind sharing a few tricks about throwing weapons, and I've got a few Ninjutsu to teach her and Neji."

Tenten was nodding along with him, but Neji had other ideas. "The Hyuuga clan has no-…"

Naruto stopped in his tracks, smirking while Neji couldn't see it. "No need for Ninjutsu, I know. That's why I've come up with a little test. You fight me with Jyuuken, and I'll use nothing but Ninjutsu. Hell, I won't even move, and I'll still beat you in three moves." With that, Naruto walked a good ten yards in front of Neji and spun around to face him. "Ready? Go."

Naruto, true to his word, never moved as Neji began sprinting towards him… On his third step, however, Neji was pulled beneath the ground, so only his head was visible, and immediately stopped fidgeting when he saw a second Naruto forming hand seals beside him, ending in tiger while he took in a large breath, and held both. "Wh-what did you do!?"

"Move one was when I used Kage Bunshin a while back. I made fourteen clones, and only destroyed twelve of them. Then, move two was one of my clones using Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu to pull you underground, and the final move was the last clone with a Katon: Goukakkyou no Jutsu roasting your face off." Naruto shrugged. "You give up, or do you want that last clone to beat you the old fashioned way?"

Neji activated his Byakugan, and could see the chakra built up in the clone's chest, as well as another clone still holding his ankles down. "I… lost…" He muttered after a few moments, looking downtrodden for the entire world to see.

"Good to hear." Naruto said, and dispelled the clone building up the fireball while the second dug Neji out of the ground. "You Hyuuga think you're all-powerful because your Jyuuken works on most people, but as soon as you find an opponent that knows what he's fighting, you guys get your asses kicked." Naruto then tossed Neji a small scroll from inside his coat. "That scroll has a handful of basic elemental jutsu in it, since I'm assuming you know the basic three from the academy. I could've beaten you with just those three if I wanted to. They really are some of the best techniques in the ninja world if you use them right." Naruto tossed a copy of the same scroll to Tenten as they started walking again. "When we make camp tonight Neji, I'll expect you to have that fire jutsu down to at least where you can light a campfire, otherwise you're all going to be cold and hungry tonight."

Grumbling under his breath, Neji unrolled the paper to see that the Katon jutsu was the first one. "You planned all of this, didn't you?" he asked.

"Of course I did. Better get to practicing that jutsu now…" Naruto chimed as he began walking again. Three seconds later he noticed a small puddle of water along the side of the road. This of course triggered his memory, and his eyes lit up in realization. Of course, he stopped as soon as he came up next to it, and turned back to his fellow Genin. "Now, who here can tell me what's wrong with the way these two idiots pulled this off?" Naruto asked, getting confused looks from the others. Sighing, he elaborated. "These two are using a Genjutsu to masquerade as a puddle while trying to ambush us. However, it's a sunny day and it hasn't ra-…" Just then, two shinobi leapt from the water, encircling Naruto in the bladed chain spanning between their clawed gauntlets.

'One down' He heard one of them say. 'Damned loudmouth brat' from the other… they were silenced immediately when a clawed hand shot out from behind them, clamping down on their throats with crushing force. "I wasn't finished speaking…" Naruto said, as wisps of red flickered over his body. His eyes were a deep crimson, the marks on his cheeks were bold and pronounced, and when he spoke, one could see that his fangs had doubled in length. "Now if you're not going to be nice and shut up while I finish my lesson, I'll reschedule that, and give them a chance to get in some target practice."

Both nodded, or gave as close to a nod as they could in their situation, and Naruto continued. "This is not a C-Rank mission. This is not a B-Rank mission. What we're on is an A-Rank mission, people." He gave each wrist a flick, and the Demon Brothers ceased their struggling. Naruto casually flung both corpses to either side of the road, and took several steps towards the Genin and their charge. "I knew this. The Hokage didn't. That's why he gave us this mission. I know I can handle anything this mission can send at us, but you three are different. If you think you can survive this, then we'll keep going. But, if you don't, you'll miss the opportunity to finish a mission ranked higher than most Chuunin get. The opportunity of a lifeline, guys. And you'll get the warm fuzzy feeling of saving an economically starved country. If you want to turn back, I'm not stopping you. You'll be back before anyone realizes you were gone in the first place, but I'm still finishing the mission."

Naruto turned back along the road, and kept on walking to Wave. He was followed by three Genin, and a bridge builder.

I don't really know why, but giving Naruto the full legal ability to defend himself from Konoha's wrath without ever telling the boy just seems to me like something Sarutobi would do.

And no, Naruto is not stronger than Sarutobi. Sarutobi is an old man with a limited chakra supply and low stamina compared to when he was in his prime, and thus, Naruto simply needs to take all of the punishment he can dish out and get back up in order to win, which he can do given his stamina, chakra capacity, and healing factor.

Amendment 3472:

A: No one may speak of Uzumaki Naruto's lineage or Jinchuuriki status under penalty of high treason.

B: Uzumaki Naruto is entitled the full rights of a noble clan heir, including additional guard by supplemental Konoha shinobi and full financial coverage until such time as he is of sufficient shinobi rank (Chuunin) and claims his inheritance, respectively.

C: Only Uzumaki Naruto and the acting Hokage may divulge his statuses to those ignorant of them without legal repercussions.

D: Uzumaki Naruto has full right to defend himself or any relation to him by any means he deem fit against any he deem a significant immediate threat.