A/N: Obviously, Chris, Chef and the show doesn't belong to me. It belongs to FreshTV, Cake Entertainment, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. All 9 Contestants belong to users on this site.
"Last time on Total Drama: Battle of the Sexes, nine pukebags competed in a game of capture the flag. My twists managed to show their true natures. Satanic Evil-Doers. In the end, Jennifer won the challenge and proved to be the only one who wasn't a total loser. Titus proved to be the biggest loser when he was eliminated by Romulus' hand. Today, I will be testing their limits in a challenge that will test physical and mental endurance. It'll be fun to watch these hideous children squirm on Total Drama: Battle of the Sexes!"
It was early in the morning and the sun had just began to rise.
The boys were all fast asleep.
A majority of the girls were asleep, aside for Feline and Alexis.
"So how do ya think your team is faring?" Alexis asked.
"I guess we're doing okay." Feline said, shrugging. "We won the last challenge."
"Yeah." Alexis said, then in a hushed voice she whispered, "Who do you think is going home next?"
"I dunno, Lex." Feline said, shrugging.
Alexis sighed. "I hope it's not either one of us. You're like my best friend here."
Feline smirked, "You're mine."
Alexis smiled. "I hope we can make it the finale together!"
"I do too!" Feline said. "I'll totally take you to the finale if we make it that far!"
"I will too!" Alexis chirped.
"It's a deal." Feline said, kindly.
At this moment, Rosalie, who was sleeping on the other side of the shelter, opened her eyes.
Alexis Confessional: Everyone here is great, but I feel like I click better with Feline, ya know?
Feline Confessional: Alexis is way rad. I would love to take her to the finale with me.
Rosalie Confessional: As if they're getting to the finale. Momma raised a proper young lady, so forgive me when I say that I will make sure that those two dastardly girl do not make it to the finale. I have to talk to Romulus about this.
Rosalie yawned loudly.
Feline and Alexis stopped talking.
"Hello y'all." Rosalie cooed.
"Hi Rosalie." Alexis said.
"Hey." Feline said simply.
Rosalie smiled.
"What are we talkin' about?" She asked, rather sweetly.
"Nothing." Alexis said.
"Oh." Rosalie said, "Well excuse me, sugars. I have to talk to my man, Romulus! We've been flirting on and off, can you believe it?"
"No way.." Feline said.
"Well, toodles!" Rosalie said, waving.
At this point she crossed over to the guys' shelter and grabbed Romulus by the ear.
This woke him up instantly.
"What do you think you're doing?" Romulus said, cringing in pain.
"We need to talk now." Rosalie whispered.
"Okay, alright, I'll go." Romulus said, getting up.
He was still in his boxer-briefs when the two of them met up outside.
"What's this about?" Romulus yawned.
Rosalie looked around to make sure no one was around to hear.
"I overheard Feline and Alexis mention that they were going to take each other to the finale. They said that it was a deal." Rosalie said.
"Is that why you woke me up? Mindless female jabber?" Romulus asked, "They're best friends. Of course they'd say that."
"But it's like an alliance. I want one gone. I want one gone now." Rosalie said.
"Relax." Romulus said.
"No! Now! One of them has to go, now!" Rosalie said, throwing a fit.
"Rosalie, keep it down! Someone will here you!" Romulus whispered.
"Now! Listen here, Romulus Frobisher! I want one of them gone now!" Rosalie shouted.
At this point, Feline popped her head out of the girls' shelter to see what all the fuss was about.
Romulus' eyes widened.
He grabbed Rosalie and began to kiss her.
Rosalie stood there, in shock.
Feline smiled warmly and put her head back in the shelter.
Romulus stopped kissing Rosalie.
"What. Was. That." Rosalie asked.
"Feline was getting suspicious." Romulus said simply, "Well... I suppose they could eventually pose a threat down the road if they're left in the game. I guess we can eliminate one of them."
"We need Feline's leadership and her skills, no matter how annoying she is." Rosalie said, "One we don't need is Alexis."
"Know of any weaknesses?" Romulus asked.
"She can't keep a secret to save a life." Rosalie said.
"Perfect! We can use that to-" Romulus began.
"Pukebags! Get dressed and meet me in the arena! NOW!" Crabsmith shouted.
"Ugh! I thought she was supposed to leave already!" Josiah whined.
"She's seriously creasing me!" Rose wailed.
"They're waking up." Romulus said, "We'll continue this conversation later."
Rosalie nodded, and the two went to their shelters.
Ten minutes later, the contestants were walking in the forest.
"I wonder what's going to happen today." Rose pondered.
"Do you think she'll get back at us for shooting her with tranquilizers?" Jennifer asked Feline and Alexis.
"You shot Crabmeat with tranquilizers?!" Rose asked.
"...Maybe." Alexis said, cringing.
"So not cool!" Rose said.
"She was going to make getting the flag harder then it should have been!" Feline said.
Rose sighed, "That is true."
"Let's hope she doesn't want revenge." Feline said.
"I don't think she knows it was us." Alexis pointed out.
Feline shrugged and continued to walk.
The girls began to walk faster, all except for Jennifer and Rose.
"Hey Rose!" Corey said kindly.
"Hi, Cor!" Rose said sweetly.
"How's it hanging?" Corey asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh! It's great!" Rose laughed, "What about you?"
"I'm cool." Corey said, smirking. "You know, besides the fact that Crabsmith will make us do something totally dangerous."
"Ugh, that Crabsmith is going to kill me." Rose sighed.
"Same here." Corey said, "You could say she's a bit... crabby."
Rose giggled, wrapping a strand of hair around her finger.
Corey laughed.
From a distance, Jennifer and Josiah smiled.
Josiah had his arm wrapped around Jennifer.
"They totally like each other." Josiah said, smirking.
"Totally." Jennifer said.
"We just have to help them realize it. Some how." Josiah said.
Jennifer nodded.
The contestants reached the arena and saw Crabsmith standing there, looking rather unpleasant.
Behind her were nine chairs and giant monitor in front of them.
"Crabmeat." Rosalie said, once she reached the dirt floor of the arena.
"Crabsmith." The unpleasant woman corrected.
The other contestants reached the floor and waited for instructions.
"Twenty push-ups. All of you." The woman barked.
"What? Why?" Huck asked.
"Because I said so." The woman shouted.
"Quack." Mr. Plume-Butt shouted.
"Ugh, get that pesky duck out of here." Mrs. Crabsmith shouted.
"No way! He's like my best friend!" Huck said.
"Wow. Well then." Corey said.
"Besides you, Cor." Huck said.
Corey smiled.
"Give it to me. I will makes sure it's safe." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
Huck backed up.
"Come on, Huck. You can't compete with that duck." Josiah said.
Huck sighed.
"Take good care of him." Huck said.
Mrs. Crabsmith flashed a fake smile.
"Will do." Mrs. Crabsmith.
She snapped her fingers.
An intern appeared and took Mr. Plume-Butt away.
"Now go." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
"There is no way I'm doing push-ups." Jennifer said.
"Do you want to be eliminated on the spot?" Mrs. Crabsmith threatened.
Jennifer rolled her eyes and joined the others on the floor.
Twenty push-ups later, Mrs. Crabsmith cleared her throat and wiped the smile from her face.
"Contestants, you are going to be tested to see how weak you all are." Mrs. Crabsmith, "You will be given three challenges. These will test your mental and physical endurance. I, myself, do not expect any of you to get past the first task."
"Rude." Jennifer said.
Mrs. Crabsmith rolled her eyes, "There are two ways to win this challenge. If, by the end of the third challenge, your team has the most members in, you win. The alternative route is that at any moment in the game, you are given the offer to wrestle me. If you win, which you won't because I will crush all you freaks, your team takes the challenge. At any time of the challenge, you are given the option to quit. All you have to do is ring this bell. But the quitters must wear a cone of shame for the next week."
"That's really wrong." Josiah said, "Can you do that?"
"I can do whatever I want. It's my show." Mrs. Crabsmith bellowed.
"Actually, it's Chris' sh-" Romulus began.
"Don't you even mutter that name!" Mrs. Crabsmith shouted.
Romulus recoiled.
"The first challenge is simple. You must all sit in these nine chairs provided." Mrs. Crabsmith said, pointing to the nine chairs behind her.
"Is that it?" Rosalie asked, smirking.
"Oh! So difficult!" Feline said, faking her fear.
Mrs. Crabsmith pulled a remote from her pocket and pushed the on button.
The monitor sprang to life, showing a video of the most famous Boy Band, Loco Motion Boys.
"Ugh. I hate them!" Jennifer said.
"They sound like robots." Corey agreed.
"I hate Funky Paul." Rose agreed.
"You must watch a constant loop of the music video of I Want Your Heart, their hit song." Mrs. Crabsmith said, unamused, "It doesn't end until three of you quit."
"You have got to be kidding me." Alexis muttered.
"Here's some more motivation. You get an hour break in between each challenge so we can set up." Mrs. Crabsmith said, "Which means an hour of free time."
"Aw man, what." Corey asked.
"So not cool." Huck sighed.
The nine contestants made their way to their chairs.
And there they sat when the sound came on.
The all cringed and muttered and whined.
Ayye, Baby! Ya know I love you!
Better then Megan, or Mary, or Jane, or Sue!
"Oh come on! That's so cheesy!" Feline cried.
You Know I Want Ya! Girl I want your heart!
Please don't give me up; that won't be smart!
"Make it stop!" Corey cried.
Rosalie covered her ears.
"I can't take it!" Rose cried.
Just because you don't see me everyday.
Doesn't mean I don't what to say
To you.
"This ballad part is killing me!" Huck cried.
Twenty minutes later, the contestants were still watching the video.
"I can't handle it, you guys! I'm gonna quit!" Jennifer said.
"Don't! You can make it through!" Feline called.
"No! I can't! I'm freaking out here, guys! I am freaking out!" Jennifer cried.
"Calm down, sugar!" Rosalie called.
"No!" Jennifer cried.
She got up and walked to the bell.
"Don't do it!" Rose called.
"I'm sorry!" Jennifer cried, hitting the bell.
The girls sighed.
"I'm quitting too, guys! I can't take it anymore!" Josiah said.
Doesn't mean I don't know what you say
To you.
Josiah sighed at got up.
"Don't do it, dude! You can pull through! Just don't think about the song!" Corey called.
"Josiah, come back!" Romulus called.
"Please don't do it! We're already down a member!" Huck said.
"I'm sorry guys! I can't handle it anymore! I'm sorry!" Josiah said.
He tapped the bell and it rang.
"Just one more. Who's going to quit?" Mrs. Crabsmith called.
No one answered.
"Then I guess we can turn it up!" Mrs. Crabsmith shouted, smiling devilishly.
The music got louder.
...I love you!
More then Megan, or Mary, or Jane, or Sue!
"Girls, we can take it!" Feline said.
"I can't! I can't do it!" Alexis cried.
"NO! Lex don't do it!" Feline said.
"I hate to say it, but let her go! It'll stop this crap sooner!" Rosalie shouted.
"I hate to say it, but I agree!" Rose called.
Alexis got up and walked to the bell, ringing it.
The music video stopped immediately.
Corey Confessional: Every t-time I close my eyes, I s-see Funky Paul... *shudders*
Josiah Confessional: There are some things that you can't unsee..
The remaining six contestants sighed.
"It's break time. The six of you, get ready to bring it." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
The contestants had arrived at the shelters in five minutes.
Feline went to go wash up in the ocean.
Alexis sat on the beach, reading a magazine.
Corey was talking to Huck and Rose.
Jennifer and Josiah were having couple time.
Romulus stood off to the side with Rosalie.
"Okay. Go talk to her. Find out what she knows. Maybe we can turn everyone against her." Romulus said.
"I don't know. It feels a little dirty." Rosalie said.
"Hey, you were the one who wanted to eliminate them. I'm just coming up with a plan to your scheme. I'm not doing any of the dirty work this time." Romulus snapped.
"Okay, just take it easy." Rosalie said, walking over to Alexis.
"Hey, Alex!" Rosalie said, kindly.
"Hi Rosalie! How are you?" Alexis asked.
"I'm great!" Rosalie said kindly. "How are you?"
"I'm good!" Alexis said, "So... I heard that you and Romulus are an official item now?"
Rosalie giggled, "I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Don't try to hide it! Feline told me she saw the two of you kissing." Alexis said.
"Aw man. I'm guessing that she's your best friend for her to just tell you." Rosalie said.
"I guess we are pretty close." Alexis agreed.
"You wanna know a secret?" Rosalie asked.
"Sure." Alexis said.
"I am dating Romulus." Rosalie said.
"I knew it!" Alexis said.
"But you can't tell anyone! You're the first person I've told." Rosalie said.
"I'm honored!" Alexis said, getting a little emotional.
Alexis Confessional: For Rosalie to tell me first is huge! I can't believe she trusts me so much!
Rosalie Confessional: Hook, Line, and Sinker. *Smirks*
"Have you heard that Rose and Corey are mad about each other?" Rosalie asked a few minutes after the "big reveal".
"No! I guessed though." Alexis giggled. "I'm so glad we're spending time together. You're definitely a close second behind Feline."
"How much do you even know about her? I bet she doesn't confide in you." Rosalie said, "Not like I just did."
"But she does! Like a few weeks ago, she told me a few big things." Alexis said.
"Like what?" Rosalie asked.
"Oh I shouldn't say..." Alexis said.
"Come on! I trusted you!" Rosalie begged.
"Okay, okay." Alexis said.
She looked around and leaned in, whispering something in Rosalie's ear.
Her eyes widened.
Rosalie Confessional: No way. That's... crazy. And perfect information! But I need more!
Rosalie leaned back.
"No way! I promise I won't tell a soul!" Rosalie said, "But what else?"
Alexis sighed and leaned in.
Rosalie leaned in.
Alexis continued to spill the secrets.
Rosalie was genuinely interested.
"So then I turned around and I got a pie to the face!" Corey said.
Rose laughed. "I can't believe it! No way that happened!"
"But it did!" Corey laughed, "I know it sounds crazy! But it really happened!"
Rose laughed.
"Oh, god. I love spending time with you, Cor." Rose said, smiling.
"Same here. You're really fun." Corey said, "You're one of the coolest girls I've met in my life!"
"Aw! Thanks!" Rose said, "You're definitely the best boy I've met!"
"Thanks!" Corey said.
At this time, Jennifer and Josiah crashed their party.
"Hey, guys! Where's Huck?" Jennifer asked.
"Oh, he went to go look for things to put in his backpack." Rose said.
"Oh, cool!" Josiah said, "What about you two?"
"What about us?" Corey asked.
"Are you guys dating?" Jennifer asked, getting interested in their conversation.
"What?" Rose asked, "No, no. We're just really great friends!"
"Yeah!" Corey said.
"But you guys' would make such a cute couple!" Jennifer said.
"Guys and Girls can't just be friends. One of you is going to fall for the other eventually." Josiah said, "I know that happened to me and Jen."
"Yeah, me and Josiah were like best friends! And I started to like him and he started to like me and then boom." Jennifer said, kissing Josiah on the cheek.
Josiah blushed.
"That's sweet guys, but seriously. We're just friends. Nothing more, nothing less." Rose explained.
Josiah Confessional: I don't believe them! I know that one of them likes the other... I just don't know which one likes the other.
At that moment, the PA System sprang to life.
"You lucky six get to come with me to the other side of the island. Get there in less then thirty minutes, and you won't be given a hard time." Mrs. Crabsmith bellowed. "The rest of you losers stay there and wallow in your filth."
Alexis scoffed.
The six contestants began to run to the other side of the island.
Twenty minutes later, all six of them made it to the beach.
"Glad you could finally make it." Mrs. Crabsmith barked.
"Ugh, whatever. Just get on with the challenge already!" Feline said.
Mrs. Crabsmith growled.
"What's the challenge?" Corey asked.
"See that contraption?" Mrs. Crabsmith asked, pointing at a tall structure.
There were six tall patted pillars in a circle.
In the middle was another pillar with a beam horizontally connected to it.
Mrs. Crabsmith pulled out a remote.
"When I push this button, that machine in the middle will spin. Your job is to jump over that beam. Every ten minutes the beam will go higher and it will rotate faster. If you fall, you lose. Three people have to fall off so you can take a break." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
"Oh like on that show Wipeo-" Rose began.
"Yes like that show." Mrs. Crabsmith said, rolling her eyes. "Just get on."
Ten minutes later, the contestants were on the pillars.
Mrs. Crabsmith pushed the button.
The mechanisms began to shift and the beam began to move.
It was extremely slow.
Romulus calmly jumped over it.
"Ugh. This is beyond easy." He said.
Feline stepped over it as well, with ease.
"What happened to your crazy twists, Crabmeat?" Feline asked, laughing.
Mrs. Crabsmith growled and turned a knob on the remote.
The Beam went five feet higher, and a lot more fast.
"Agh!" Rosalie said, barely jumping over it.
"What's your problem?!" Corey asked, hardly making it over.
"This is insane!" Rose called, jumping over the beam.
"Where's Mr. Plume-Butt?!" Huck called.
The Beam came full circle.
Romulus was ready for it and jumped.
But he jumped too early.
When he landed on his pillar, the beam hit him in the gut.
The air was knocked out of him.
He grabbed onto the beam and refused to drop.
The beam crashed into Feline and the two of them fell into the water.
"Ouch! That has to hurt!" Rosalie said, jumping over the beam.
Once she jumped she landed on her dress and fell forward and off her beam.
"Yikes!" Rose said.
The machine stopped, leaving Huck, Rose, and Corey.
"The three best friends!" Huck cheered.
"The three of you who dropped are losers." Mrs. Crabsmith said, "And the males are in the lead."
Just then, an intern appeared with a platter.
"Oh yes!" Mrs. Crabsmith cheered.
She took off the domed lid and took a deep breath.
"Tasty." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
It was a plate of white meat.
It was duck.
Rose and Corey gasped.
"... Where is Mr. Plume-Butt?!" Huck asked, worried.
"He's in a better place now... In my stomach!" Mrs. Crabsmith laughed.
This time, Feline, Rosalie, and Romulus gasped.
"That is just cold." Romulus said.
"You're a monster!" Rosalie called.
"That was his best friend!" Rose cried.
"Ugh, get over it!" Mrs. Crabsmith shouted, stuffing her face.
Fury built up inside of Huck.
He growled, his temper reaching max limits.
"Huck, dude, just relax." Corey said.
"NO! That's the last straw, Crabbutt!" Huck shouted.
"Crabsmith!" The terrible woman called.
Huck screamed and jumped in the water, swimming at top speeds.
When he reached the shore he screamed again.
"I want to challenge you! I want you to go down!" Huck shouted.
Mrs. Crabsmith smiled, the duck in her teeth.
"Perfect!" The woman said.
She got in ready position, circling around Huck.
"Come on, boy-o. Get ready to go down." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
Huck stood there, outraged.
Mrs. Crabsmith made the first move.
And that's when everything went wrong.
For the substitute host.
When Mrs. Crabsmith lunged, Huck went rabid.
He tackled the woman to the floor and grabbed her hair.
He yanked her head back by the hair.
Rose and Corey watched from the pillars.
"Ooh!" Corey said.
The two heard a bite and Mrs. Crabsmith scream.
"Ouch!" Rose called.
Romulus was cringing.
"Oh god! She's going to die!" Feline cried.
When Huck finished, Mrs. Crabsmith was hardly conscious.
"The boys... win." Mrs. Crabsmith said, before passing out.
The six returned to the shelters.
"What happened?" Josiah asked.
"Huck beat up Mrs. Crabsmith!" Corey explained.
"We won, too!" Romulus said.
Josiah cheered.
"It was crazy!" Rosalie said.
"He's like an animal when he's mad! Don't mess with him!" Feline said.
"It was so intense! It was almost as intense as Feline's secret love for Loco Motion Boys!" Romulus said.
The cast gasped.
"How did you know that?!" Feline asked, "I didn't tell anyone!"
"Alexis told me." Romulus said. "She's told me a lot really. Like how you slept with a stuffed unicorn until you were six."
The contestants gasped again.
Feline turned to Alexis, in disbelief.
"What?!" Feline asked, "Alexis I trusted you!"
"I swear I didn't tell anyone!" Alexis said, "I didn't tell anyone but-"
"How could you do such a thing? What kind of a friend are you? Feline trusted you and you betrayed that trust!" Rosalie said.
"No way! I told you!" Alexis said. "I told you about it! And you told me that you were dating Romulus!"
"Rosalie isn't dating Romulus." Josiah said, "That's a lie."
"But I saw them kiss!" Alexis said.
"You're lying again, I saw them kiss. But that doesn't mean they're going out- how many times are you going to lie?" Feline asked.
"I'm not lying!" Alexis said.
"How are we supposed to trust you?!" Jennifer asked.
"You just dug your own grave." Rose said.
The other contestants left.
Alexis stood there feeling sad and confused and betrayed at the same time.
Rosalie Confessional: Our plan worked perfectly. Now everything thinks that Alexis is a liar and she's totally going home. Bye bye, Lexi!
Alexis Confessional: I can't believe it! That Rosalie just sabotaged me! She wanted me to reveal Feline's secrets so everyone would turn against me! She's evil! Evil!
Later that night, the girls were at the bonfire.
"When are we going to vote?" Feline asked, growling.
"Tonight we are doing things differently." Mrs. Crabsmith said, smiling, "We're voting in public."
"Please, you guys! Don't vote for me! I told you that Rosalie is evil! Take her out of here!"
"And we told you to save it! You aren't going to convince us to vote out Rosalie, liar." Feline said.
"Please!" Alexis said, "Feline! We're best friends! I would never hurt you!"
"We were best friends." Feline said, "I vote against Alexis."
"No!" Alexis said.
"I second that." Jennifer said, "A liar can never be trusted."
"No!" Alexis said, "Rose! Please!"
"Sorry." Rose said, "But you made the mistake of betraying your best friend. I can't respect someone like that. I vote to eliminate Alexis."
"I vote to eliminate Alexis too." Rosalie said, "Bye bye, traitor."
"You're the traitor!" Alexis growled.
At this point, the helicopter appeared.
"Get on!" Mrs. Crabsmith shouted.
Alexis growled and jumped onto the rope ladder.
The helicopter flew off.
"Now we have all the favorable girls on the team." Feline said.
Rosalie smiled.
"You may all leave." Mrs. Crabsmith said.
The four remaining girls left.
"Now that that loon is out of the game, we can return to a calm game. Especially since I'm not coming back! There is no way I am going to come back with that crazy man Huck after me! Next week, expect Chris to return to Total Drama: Battle of the Sexes!"
A/N: What did ya think? Rosalie and Romulus' plan managed to get between Feline and Alexis? How do you feel about Rosalie slandering Alexis' name and eliminating her? What do you think of Rose and Corey denying their love for each other? Leave a review to tell me what ya think!