Amity in me: Part 4

And just like that, I was here. In a cave-like society of Dauntless where everything smelled wet and metal at the same time. There wre structurs that looked old and welded together. And there were things that looked new; newer then I have ever seen. With all the blinking lights and wires sticking out the walls, I felt like I was in a new world. And, in a sense, I was. I walked towards the crowd of new recruits and stood next to Peter. He looked to me, nodded, and turned his attention back to the front. There was a man on a balcony with a few others.

"Welcome to Dauntless new recuits! We are happy that you chose this Faction as your new home. Those of you who where already in the Dauntless Faction, please go to the left. Those of you who are new, go to the right to your new barracks." He said. With that, everyone separated and went to their appropriate spots. I followed behind Peter closely, trying not to get into anyone's way. But it was impossible in this place. The crowd was so big going through a smaller hallway that you couldn't help but bump into others.

Once in the Barracks, someone asked if there was a girl dorm

"You're standing in it. We don't separate here. Get used to it" He said. There were laughs and whistles going on about as everyone looked around. The instructor pointed out a pile of dark clothes.

"Hurry and change into these and follow me." He said. I sighed, making my way to the pile. I wanted to make sure I found something in my size. I glanced around to see that everyone else looked more fit than me, including Peter. The only other bigger girl I was way at least a foot taller than me. She looked at me and laughed with another group of girls.

I easily found a shirt; Men-sized I assume. Pants would be another problem. I couldn't fit men's pants very well. At the dome, my mother had to tailor them for them to fit properly. I found a pair of women pants, but the tall girl from before grabbed them at the same time.

"We can make this a lot easier if you just let them go little girl." She said. She gripped them a bit tighter without looking eye contact with me.

If I was Amity, I would have politely let them go to find a new pair. I would hear the words of my mother saying that Kindness is better than Violence. But I wasn't Amity anymore; and my mother wasn't here anymore. I was just some girl to her with rust colored clothes. I pulled back a bit, smiling.

"I'm sure we are not the same size in the slightest. Besides, these would be too short for someone like you." I stated. She looked back at them and nodded. They would be almost flooding for me. On here, they would be high rise capris. She nodded, letting them go.

"Good point, Little Girl." She said, reaching back into the pile.

I grabbed a pair of shoes and made it back to a vacant bed. Changing would prove to be a challenge, but, since almost everyone was still in the pile, I quickly switched out my clothes and walked to the instructor. The shirt fit a bit loosely, but the pants were perfect. Once everyone finished, we walked to another hall single file to drop off our old clothes. From the hold, we could see they were being burned. It almost felt like it was burning a part of me, a part of my past. I dropped them in without looking. All I could think about was Jenny, Fred, and my mother in the flames. And from there, I imagined the entire dome burning from a wildfire. I clutched onto my shirt and tried to move forward, People bumped into me, scoffing and laughing at me before we made it to the training area. Did I really belong here?

"Come on Gwen. It's time to start our new lives." Said Peter, grabbing my shoulder to pull me forward. I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Actually, it's Tank now." I said, smiling. I remembered that was my new name. It felt so foreign to say out loud. Is it really mine? Something I could control and call my own? I laughed a bit taking a few steps ahead. It filled me with a new sense of adventure.

"Back at the dome, one of my friends used to call me that. Or rather I was built like a tank for being so serious all the time. "I said. Peter laughed, nodding.

"I can see that. Tank it is then." He said

We made it to the main floor where the leaders were on the balcony to welcome us. From there, they told us what the Dauntless do as a faction and the rigorous test we had to endure.

"Also, we are implementing a new rule. You must keep your ranks up. If you go below the line, you will be cut and be among the Factionless." He announced. Gasps and chatter began among the newbies.

"Why weren't we told that at the beginning?" someone asked, distraught.

"If we had, would you still have joined? The Dauntless Faction is about overcoming your fears, no matter the odds. As long as you do your best, and then some, you will be fine. We are about keeping the best of the best. You start tomorrow. Until then, please make your way to the cafeteria area for dinner. Dismissed."

Whispers erupted through the crowd as we walked to the mess hall. People, who were so happy and excited about their new beginning were now slumping their shoulders. I look over to peter who still had his smug smile on his face. I didn't know how to interpret it; hidden fear or confidence. Either way, he had the right attitude.

"How can you be smiling? Aren't you afraid?" I asked. He only shrugged and walked passed me to the front of the line. I sighed, watching him leave.

In the mess hall, I picked up my tray and headed to an empty table. I see the Dauntless who was at the net, I think his name was Four, on the other side, but I chose to leave him be. I didn't want to bring attention to myself. But once that thought went through my head, a group of newbies sat near me in a group. Four tried to shake them away, especially the girl who jumped first. But she stood her ground.

"You were Amity, weren't you?" Asked the boy in front of me. He was tall with brown hair. I nodded, getting back to my food.

"You're Dauntless now. You might as well forget your past. Your life starts now." Four said before going back to his food. We all looked over to him. It's true, this was our new life. But did we really have to forget everything? I guess with the burning of our clothes, it was a symbol of our new life; like a phoenix being born from the ashes. But Amity was who I was. It was a part of my like my hair color or fingerprint. To take it away doesn't deny its existence. The thought made my heart hurt for a moment. I felt it throb through my shirt and bring tiny tears to my eyes. I whipped them away before anyone could see. I can't let them see my weakness. I didn't know what I was getting into with this Faction, but, like the leader had said, I had to give it my all.

AMITY WAS WHO I WAS. BUT DAUNTLESS IS WHO I AM NOW