It was ten o'clock in the evening. Half of the chocolate box had been eaten, all wine consumed. Shion was stretched on a sofa, her head in chaos' lap. Oh no, reign in those dirty thoughts, nothing had been going on. It's just that such a rarely tried substance as alcohol, even as weak as wine, made Shion feel sleepy fast. And chaos, being a compassionate soul, couldn't just leave without giving Shion some psychological therapy, so he stayed around. They haven't got to the relevant part of their conversation yet.

"I've waited patiently for half an hour," chaos said out loud. "But now it's time to wake up, we don't have all night."

Shion stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. It took a moment for her to register her surroundings and chaos' lap below. A look of surprise crept up on her face, then a look of delight, and she promptly put her head back on his lap, pretending to still be asleep. Chaos laughed.

"Suddenly I remembered something funny," he said, so that Shion wouldn't guess he was laughing at her reactions. That would no doubt embarrass her, even if it was all in good fun.

He tickled her neck, so that she couldn't pretend to be asleep for a long time.

"What's your real name?" Shion said abruptly, getting up.

"First, we need to continue… You wanted to tell me something 'very important' before you fell asleep."

"No, first you tell me your real name. I've been telling you all my secrets, and you can't even share your name? That doesn't inspire trust."

"You must promise that you're going to keep it to yourself," chaos said resignedly.

Shion perked up and nodded with all sincerity she could master.

"Yeshua. I wouldn't call it 'real' per se, but it's my first name."

"Wait a minute… Another fake first name?" Shion started feeling angry.

"No, it was first. The very first first name. They called me like that when I was bo… when I appeared in this world."

Shion eyed him suspiciously but decided to give it a pass. So Yeshua it is. She moved away to another edge of the sofa, a semi-conscious defensive gesture, and considered what she should tell him. Should she talk about her imminent death? No, she didn't want pity. Loneliness? That sounded equally pitiful, but not nearly as ominous, and she really wanted to find a fix for it before she died.

"I…" she started. "I'm embarrassed to say this, but I feel like being in our group is not enough for me. I feel like I'm alone."

Shion tried to look anywhere else but at chaos. She felt like she was weak for having such strange emotions, she thought she should be stronger than that. And she always was, wasn't she? Or was she just suppressing these emotions well enough until the last stroke, the news of her own death, hit her?

There was a long pause. Chaos didn't interrupt it, he waited for Shion to continue.

"I want a different kind of connection," she explained. "Stronger than that. I don't know how to word it properly… I want someone to be with me at all times and to feel like our bond exists even if we aren't together, to cherish that person and to be cherished back… And I'm not talking about a romantic bond in particular, in fact, I don't know what I'm talking about."

"You're talking about love," chaos said. "Not necessarily romantic love, just love in general."

Shion was surprised to hear that, but after giving it some thought, she realized he was right.

"Then why is it suddenly lacking?" she asked.

"It's an interesting question whether it really is lacking as 'suddenly' as you think."

Shion sighed.

"Alright, so maybe it's been lacking all the time before and I didn't realize… But why weren't my friends enough to cover for these feelings? Like Miyuki, my friend from work."

"Apparently that friendship didn't make you feel loved and appreciated," chaos said. "Or it did, but not nearly enough."

Shion suddenly felt very embarrassed again. Here she was, with a guy she admired for his kind character traits, talking about her own misery. She was sure it didn't make her sound attractive to him.

"I'm so pathetic!" she lamented. "I should be strong enough to not need things like that."

"Everybody needs a strong connection to another human being. It's natural."

"Then why isn't everybody around agonizing over being lonely or something?"

"Why do you think that everybody who is lonely is aware of that?" He shrugged. "You weren't aware of it yourself, either. Until now. I suppose something happened to make you aware of that…"

He looked at Shion questioningly. She looked back, but didn't hurry to reply. It was very tempting to tell him that she was going to die soon, but she was afraid that she'd shame herself in front of him by starting to cry about it. Then again, she didn't feel so terrified of death at the moment. She felt like life was so meaningless that she really wouldn't care.

"You know," she said. "If I was to die now, I wouldn't care."

"Your life seems so empty without a strong connection that you don't even want it?"

"Yeah…"

Shion couldn't understand how someone as young as chaos could grasp her emotions so well. He should be a stupid idiot about things like that judging by his age, but he wasn't.

"Have you ever felt lonely?" she asked.

"I've lost a lot of people."

That was the first piece of personal information, except for his real name, that chaos ever shared.

"Why don't you ever talk about your past and your losses?"

"I prefer to listen. Besides, talking about loss only makes people feel sad. I don't want to make them feel sad by having them listen to my sorrows."

"But that's just wrong. You're listening to mine. It has to make you feel sad."

"I can bear that."

"And I can't? If you were to tell me about your own sorrows."

Chaos went silent, and in a while Shion realized that he would not reply. She felt like apart from wishing to avoid dumping his sorrows on others, there was some other reason for chaos to keep everything to himself.

"I'm going to die," she suddenly said, surprising herself. "But it's not like I care at the moment."

Chaos moved closer and took her hand.

"Why do you say this? What happened?"

"Ah…" Shion clasped his hand tightly, enjoying the moment despite the gravity of the discussed topic. "I was touched by a Gnosis once, on the Woglinde. I'm going to end up like Cherenkov..."

"Maybe you won't."

"Yes, I will. Gaignun said that absolutely everybody who was touched by a Gnosis eventually turned into one of them."

Chaos hugged Shion in a comforting manner. She relaxed in his arms, both sad and delighted at the same time. Maybe she could flirt him up and have a nice night? No way, Shion thought, I don't want to be romanced out of pity. So she just hugged him back innocently, like a child.

"Chaos… no, Yeshua, will you watch me?" Shion asked. "I'd like to be killed before I kill someone else as a Gnosis. And if it's you, then I think I won't mind that much."

"Alright…" He said softly. "But you shouldn't lose hope. A lot of time has passed since you were at the Woglinde, and nothing has happened yet."

Shion smiled. It was nice of him to try to instill some hope into her, but she really doubted that she'd be an exception from the rule. She was just a regular human, after all.

"You aren't a regular human, right?" she asked him, still resting in his arms. "Regular humans don't destroy Gnosis by touch. What are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. So there's little point in doing that."

"Try me!"

"Alright. I'm six thousand years old and I have the power to destroy the galaxy."

Shion pulled back to look at his face. How did he manage to look so dead serious telling a joke? She laughed until she felt tears well up in her eyes. He smiled back somewhat sadly.

"You're such a joker!" Shion exclaimed. "Honestly, it would be better of you to remain silent than to make up such ridiculous bullshit."

"I did as you asked." chaos shrugged morosely. "I tried you. With one hundred percent certainty that I'd know your reaction beforehand."