"I cried today… not because I missed you… or even wanted ou… but because I realized I'm gonna be alright without you." – Unknown
Sorry I'm putting this out later than I hoped. I wanted to get two chapters out today but work was crazy… but you gotta love it. if any of you have jobs I understand what its like. Anyways, I'll just make this chapter longer for you all.
Chapter Four
I stared in awe at them. I couldn't believe they'd gotten into my house. I wondered why or how they got in here. I wanted to run that's what my instinct was telling my but my feet wouldn't move. I started to panic my heart raced. I wanted to blot but I knew I couldn't.
"Bella would you like me to go?"
Nothing.
"Alright Bella, I'll be here when you're ready."
"Wait Emmett…" I sighed. He smiled and came back into the living room. He sat down on the couch, I stood by the door.
"What are you doing here?" I asked staring at him.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Of course." Lie.
"Bella seriously… have you really dated anyone since Edward?" He asked. I hated talking about this because I hadn't… well Jacob until I left to travel right after high school.
"Sort of." I admitted.
"Who?" he asked with curiously.
"Um, Jacob Black for a year." I said staring at the floor.
"Emmett what's going on?" I asked finally looking him. He looked sad.
"We can't find Edward. Alice can't see where he went because he won't make up his mind, but she's seen parts of where he's at. We really need help finding him. Esme's been a wreck. And Tanya well she's just being useless." He said. Tanya must be the blonde.
"Have her help find Edward. I'm sure he'd rather be found by her than me." I said angrily.
"Bella, they aren't dating." Emmett said. I sighed, "Emmett, I know how he feels about this he made it very clear… I think I should stay out of this." I finally said. I started at his massive chest.
"What did he say Bella?" Emmett asked. I sighed and looked him in the eyes.
"He told me you guys were leaving and I was ready to come too but then he told me he didn't love me anymore and didn't want me… and he left." I whispered as the tears spilled over my eyes. Emmett looked dumbfounded.
"Why would he say that?" He asked. I stared at him.
"Because he doesn't love me." I said.
"Bella… is there any place that Edward might go… please?" He asked with big eyes.
"Yes… well maybe he said he liked to go there when he needed to think." I said in a shaky voice.
"Do you remember how to get there?" He asked. I nodded we headed out to his Jeep.
"Emmett…" I sighed. As we started driving.
"I can't find him… I'll tell you how to get there but I won't see him… I'll wait in the car." I said.
"No, I'll wait in the car… he won't listen to any of us." He said. I sighed.
"Fine." I whispered. I explained how to get there.
"Would you like to walk or should I run you up?" Emmett asked.
"Running I suppose, it's faster." I muttered. We got out of the car and I got on Emmett's back and he raced up towards the meadow. He set me down carefully near the exist.
"I'll be waiting right over here." He said and smiled and raced off. I slowly made my way towards the meadow there was a good chance he wasn't even here. I got into the clearing and I didn't see Edward. I sighed. I sat down in the wild flowers and laid back. I heard someone step on a branch. I shot up. My heart raced. I slowly looked around and didn't see anything. I laid back down and heard someone walking towards me. I shut my eyes and waited for whatever it was to eat me. The sound stopped. I opened my eyes and screamed.
"Bella… relax."
"I'm sorry you just scared me." I whispered.
"What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here Edward?" I asked. I felt him staring at my face. I locked my gaze with the cloudy sky.
"I'm thinking." He said. I nodded.
"And…" I said.
"And what? I needed to think after everything that had happened." He said. I sighed.
"Edward, I know… you don't have to be nice to me. You told me how you felt about this… can't you just let me go home… I mean Emmett acted like he had no idea what I was talking about but I knew he did… they know I know it…" I muttered.
"What did you tell Emmett?" He asked quickly.
"That you didn't love me that you told me that… before you left… and Edward… I understand but I really think you should go home your family's worried about you." I whispered. I bit back the tears.
He sighed.
"Bella… I never told them what I said to you." He admitted softly. I didn't answer because I wasn't sure how.
"Edward, I still think we should talk… it'll be easier for you to forget me and I leave again soon and you've got Tanya." I said. I exhaled and stood up.
"Edward…" I whispered.
"Yes Bella?" his voice was raw.
"Go home, you're family needs you." I whispered. "You can't do this too them. They need you and you need them. You'll see." I whispered even softer. I started walking back towards the truck. I started crying. I ran into something hard. I opened my eyes.
"Bells let me take you home." Em whispered. I hopped on his back.
"Thanks Em." I whispered as my tears ruined his shirt. We drove home in silence. We stopped outside my house.
"Bella… promise me one thing." Emmett said. I looked over at him.
"Sure." I said.
"Say goodbye before you leave." He whispered with big eyes. I started to cry harder. I threw my arms around him.
"I will. Promise." I whispered.
"Bye Bella." Emmett whispered. I quickly hurried out of the car and ran inside. I sat behind the door, crying. I sat there until the phone rang. I hurried to answer it.
"Hello." I said I cleared my throat.
"Bella, are you okay?" I sighed.
"Yeah, Jake." I muttered. "What's up?"
"Nothing, I've been calling all day… where have you been?" He asked.
"I was out… you want something… I'm having a bad day." I whispered.
"Why?" He asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." I said.
"Alright… I was just calling to check up on you. Billy invited Charlie over for dinner and to watch the game… you're welcome to come if you'd like." He said.
"Maybe next time." I said. I hung up and hurried to the living room. I sat there staring around. I flicked on the TV. I grabbed a book and started reading. Wuthering Heights. It was my favorite book in high school. Even as I read it I couldn't stop crying. I dropped the book and went to shower. I came back down stairs and curled up on the couch and just cried.
Over the next few weeks I showed no change. I knew Charlie was freaking out but I couldn't help it. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. It was finally August. I'd been moping around the house for a month. I decided to get out. I took a walk. I was wandering on some bike path. It started to down pour so I ran. I ran up the first driveway I could find. The rain was so thick that you couldn't see three feet in front of you. I made it up the porch and I rang the bell. Nobody answered so I started back out into the rain.
"Is anyone out there?" I faintly heard over the rain.
"I am! Can I come in?" I shouted and ran back up the stairs and into the stranger's house. Once I got in I realized it was the Cullens. I looked at Alice. She smiled. I heard a thud upstairs.
"Come on I'll get you a towel and you can swear some sweats…" We ran upstairs. I inhaled sharply. I saw Edward shirtless standing in his doorway with Tanya making out with him. I just started. I wasn't sure what I should do.
"Ah…" Edward said. Tanya turned around and smiled.
"Um… you know what… I think the rains let up I'll just walk." I stammered. I ran for the door but something stopped me. I looked and Emmett was holding my arms.
"Em, please let me go…" I whispered. He looked sad. He sighed. I thrashed my way out of his grip and ran for the door. It was raining even harder. I barely made it to the end of the drive way. I fell to my knees.
"Bella?" Edward asked. I looked at him and he was still shirtless.
"What do you want Edward? Do you want me to tell you that I'm still in love with you? Or that I hate myself for loving you because you don't love me back? Or that I'm stupid for leaving my window open year around hoping you'd climb threw it?" I shouted. I shook my head. I started to cry but I don't think you could tell.
"No, I'm done… I can't take this… I get it you're with Tanya… but then, let me be… you've got your family and I've got my Italy… just let me go." I whispered. My eyes were big.
"Bella, I don't want you to leave." He said.
"Edward, we can't be friends, it'll be too hard for me. I'm sorry that I wasn't perfect or blonde or whatever… but I can't keep waiting of false hope. I'm walking on thin ice and it's starting to crack. I need to go back to Italy. I need to stay away from Forks and away from you. I can't do this. Because standing here right now, seeing you, talking to you… it hurts, it physically hurts, and I can't take too much more hurt." I said as my voice cracked.
Edward just came forward and grabbed me and kissed me. He kissed me with an intensity I never knew he had. I carelessly wrapped my arms around his neck. I ran my fingers through his hair. My heart hammered wildly against my chest. Edward's hands slid down my back to my waist. I pulled out of the kiss. I slowly started backing away.
I shook my head, "I can't Edward." I whispered and I ran. I didn't have any car to take so I ran. I got to the high way when Emmett was waiting for me.
"No, let someone drive you or wait out the storm." He said in his big brother, no way are you going to do this voice. I looked up at him.
"Please?" I whispered. He shook his head. He scooped me up and ran me back inside upstairs.
"Alice don't let her leave until the storms passed." Emmett said. Alice nodded Emmett left.
"Bella do you want to shower?" She asked. I sighed. If I was going to be stuck here a shower would be nice.
"Let me get you some sweats." She muttered she raced out of her room and back again she showed me to the bathroom. I walked in and showered. The hot water was relaxing. I got out of the shower and started getting dressed. I heard voices.
"Alice, I need to talk to her." Edward's voice was raw and pained.
"No, Edward let the girl be… didn't you hear anything she said outside? She's still in love with you and she's upset because she believes you didn't love her." I heard a loud crack.
"At least tell her a lie that wouldn't kill her!" Alice said.
"I just wanted to speak with Bella." Edward said no longer pain just annoyance. I walked out of the bathroom. Alice grabbed my hand and Edward grabbed my other hand.
"Edward let her go." Alice said.
"Bella can we talk?" He asked. Then he looked at my body and smiled. I flushed. "I like your clothes." I whipped my head at Alice she smiled. These must be Edwards. They were a little big.
"Bella, come on." Alice said. Emmett came upstairs.
"Edward, leave Bella alone." He said. Edward dropped my arm but started at me 'dazzling' me. Alice tugged me and I looked away. I was being held hostage at the Cullen house. The storm was bad. We were getting a flood.
"Charlie I'm fine… I'm with Rose, Alice, and Esme… No they aren't home… I know… and you stay at Billy's." I said.
"Love you too." I whispered and handed the phone back to Alice. I was staying the night.
I tried to make the chapter longer… I'll try and have another chapter out tomorrow other wise; I'll try and do two on Sunday. Hit or Miss? Please review. You could always private message me or anonymous review… I like you're feed back and try to send a comment back… but I suppose I couldn't do that with an anonymous review… oh well…
Movies I recommend:
Blues Brothers
All the King's Men
I've also been turned on to a good good by Zombie's Run This Town called: Robot Timberwolves - 100 Monkeys