My hand searches for your hand / In a dark room / I can't find you
I – I was with someone.
You weren't there and I needed you!
I had nowhere else to turn! No one else wanted me!
I was with someone.
It was a mistake, a stupid mistake.
You stopped answering my calls, and it hurt so much, everything hurt.
I was with someone.
I'm so sorry, Kurt.
You left me behind!
I still love you.
Kurt!
I was with someone.
Kurt woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. His hand flew instinctually to his right for comfort before the reason for it washed over him. He flailed around a bit, hand rapidly skimming the sheets before gripping them in his fist. They were cold and empty.
He opened his eyes to his dark apartment. On his tiny bedside table the clock read 4:03 AM, shining brightly.
Blaine wasn't there. He left the day before, his surprise visit lasting barely a day.
Blaine.
Blaine cheated on him.
Kurt's source of solace was now the same as his pain. The worst pain he'd ever felt.
He choked on a sob and curled tightly into a ball around the pillow Blaine had slept on. It still smelled like him.
Kurt wondered bitterly if Blaine was sleeping soundly back in Ohio.
...
Blaine lay flat on his back in his nearly pitch-black bedroom, left arm slung lazily over his face. His eyes burned, his head ached, his heart clenched uncomfortably in his chest, and his limbs felt like lead. He just wanted to cry and sleep for days and forget everything.
But as tired as he was – in every way possible – he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about Kurt, about what he did, about what he said. Every time Blaine closed his eyes he saw Kurt's face crumple in pain, tears well in his eyes before he ran.
Blaine heaved a watery sigh and flung his left arm out to the open space he couldn't bring himself to sleep in since Kurt had left for New York. (That was always Kurt's side, since the beginning; Blaine would never be able to sleep on that side again.)
He checked his phone for the hundredth time in the past two hours and noticed the time – 4:03 AM – and considered not going to school, debating whether it would be worse than moping around the house alone all day.
For a moment he stared up at the two glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling that he never bothered to take down. The night Kurt noticed them he poked fun at Blaine for yet another childish feature of his bedroom, but then decided that the stars represented themselves – the slightly smaller one was nestled into the other as they shone brightly together in the darkness and Kurt could never imagine seeing just one on its own now that they were together – and how they belonged together.
Fresh tears rolled down Blaine's cheeks and he fisted the blankets before rolling to press his face into the pillow that no longer smelled like Kurt.
He sent a prayer to whoever was listening that maybe Kurt would one day find it in his broken, beautiful, perfect heart to forgive Blaine's sorry ass.