A/N: Rating is now 'M' due to some new themes that I believe need caution. Just a quick warning, there is suicide and self-harm content in this chapter and there may be more in chapters to come. If you are triggered by either of those things I would suggest being cautious. With all that said THANK YOU so much for everyone who reviewed and keep them coming! They encourage me to write more!

"I need a little room to breathe, cause I'm one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break…"

--"One Step Closer" by Linkin Park

When Sara finally stumbled into her apartment she was utterly exhausted. Automatically she headed for the kitchen already anticipating the fresh relief of a cold beer. She opened the door and scanned the shelves but couldn't find what she was looking for. Sighing, she crouched down and began digging. After several minutes without success she stood back up, confused and frustrated. Her eyes shifted towards the recycle bin noticing two empty cardboard cases sitting on the top. She could not have drunk twelve beers the previous night. Despite the fact that her memory was unreliable, she knew that the most she could have had was eight. That meant there should still be at least four in her fridge. There was only one possible explanation left.

Grissom.

There was a time when his attempt to help her would have been much appreciated. But now it only made Sara angry. What right did he have to take away her means of coping if he was going to reject her? Leave her? She kicked the fridge closed and went into the living room falling down on the couch in a huff.

She knew she could just go buy more. But she didn't want to leave the house. She was too tired to do so. Instead she went into her bathroom and dug through one of the cupboards searching for her old prescription of sleeping pills. She smiled in relief as her hand closed around the tiny bottle. Crossing her fingers she checked the expiration date on the bottle. May 2004. It was mid-April. She was just in time. Popping a few in her mouth she headed to her room, undressed, and fell fast asleep.

--

Sara awoke bright and early the next day prepared to pull a double shift. Maybe even a triple if she could get it past Catherine. She dressed quickly, doing nothing special with her hair or makeup, as there would be no one to impress. On her way to the lab she stopped at a drive-through café and got a large caramel latte with whipped cream. Sara had never needed to watch her weight but she was still accustomed to drinking non-fat lattes or drip coffee just because she didn't want to risk gaining extra pounds. Again it didn't seem to matter because Grissom was gone and there was no one else that she really cared to be skinny for.

When she reached the lab she made a beeline for Catherine's office. She was glad to see the door open and Catherine staring down at some paperwork that looked like new case files.

"Hey Cath!" Sara said in a voice that was too close to fake cheery.

The older woman jumped in surprise.

"Oh hey Sara. You scared me to death! I'm glad to see you're up and about again. Not that anyone could keep you at rest for very long…"

Sara smiled at this and then got right down to business.

"Um, so I'm guessing that you are handing out cases since Grissom isn't around."

"Yes, that's right." Catherine answered as she shuffled through her papers. Finding what she was looking for, she turned her attention back to Sara.

"Okay, I'm actually going to have you work a new case with me. The high profile case we had the other day got solved last night and Nick is just dealing with the technical stuff on that. So I guess I'll brief you…"

Catherine handed her one of the sheets she was holding.

"Teenage girl found dead in her bedroom. 15 years old. Apparent suicide. They're calling us in mainly because they're not sure exactly how she died. They said it looks like she overdosed on pills and then attempted to hang herself but she was found on the ground with a noose around her neck so they're betting on the pills."

Sara nodded. "Got it. Are we heading to the scene?"

"Yea. I guess I'll drive…" Catherine said trying not to sound awkward about it.

"You know I'm not drunk anymore." Sara teased. "I drove here this morning all by myself mother."

Catherine laughed at this. "I know… I'm just trying to look out for you. Plus you always play some crap classical station in your car."

"What's wrong with classical music?" Sara asked offended. "It's relaxing."

"You and Grissom." Catherine chuckled. "Love your violin concertos…"

Sara's stomach immediately tightened at the mention of his name. Grissom liked classical music? She couldn't believe that Catherine knew something about him that she didn't. Especially something so trivial such as the type of music he enjoyed. She wondered if he knew that she shared his love for the peaceful soul of a singing violin.

Sara remained silent for the entire ride, barely aware of The Beatles marathon that was playing on the oldies station Catherine favored. As they pulled into driveway of the scene Catherine waited a moment to turn off the car singing along with the last few words of "Yesterday".

"Well that was job appropriate, huh?" Catherine said laughing lightly as she opened the car door.

Sara jerked away from her thoughts. "Wha… oh yea…"

Walking towards the house they met the coroner at the front door.

"Hey David!" Catherine called stopping to talk to him. "Any conclusion to how she died?"

"Well, it's still up in the air but we're now leaning away from a suicide. She has ligature marks on her neck suggesting she was strangled. They don't seem to be consistent with an attempted hanging but we won't be sure until she's examined further. They may not even be the cause of death. According to the empty bottles of pills found near her she could have very easily overdosed."

"Where is she?" Catherine asked sadly.

David nodded towards the half-open door that an officer stood by.

"Thanks for you help!" Sara called behind her shoulder and the two women rushed inside.

Sara's mind had been so distracted that she had not prepared herself for the possibilities of a suicidal teen. Staring down at girl's limp form her eyes immediately focused on the left arm, which lay palm up against the carpet. It was not difficult to realize that this girl had been troubled, no matter how her death had come about. The scars on her arm reached all the way to where it could bend and the ones closest to her wrist looked fresh. Sara bent down to examine it further and saw that there were letters carved into her skin. For him, who hurt me. Shocked Sara quickly backed away nearly falling over as she felt a strong wave of dizziness.

She could feel the panic begin to spread throughout her. The room became blurry and all she could feel was a sharp hot pain on her wrist. Pulling up her sleeve her scars shown pearly white against her skin. She remembered the razor. The blood flowing out of her and onto her sheets. She remembered the nights she would cry through her blood because she could no longer do so through tears. She remembered her foster mom screaming at her, asking her what she had done. She remembered the slap on her face.

"Sara? SARA!"

She opened her eyes to see Catherine leaning over her, cell phone in hand. She lifted herself up weakly, only then realizing that she was sweating and shaking.

"Are you alright!?" Catherine cried alarmed. "I was just about to call 911."

"Oh gosh no. Don't do that. I just got a little freaked out is all." Sara got up trying to act normal.

Catherine looked at her worriedly. "You know I think that you should call it a day. I know you want to be here but I think that you're under a bit of stress right now. I can do this case and I'll call you as soon as another one comes in."

Sara looked at her, horrified.

"Catherine…" She said weakly. "I can't go home and sit alone in my house. I just can't. I can do this. I'm okay now."

Catherine considered her.

"This is against my better judgment but I'll let you stay on if you go back to the lab right now and give Nick some help. I'll finish processing this scene and then when I get back we will work with it."

Sara nodded, clearly relieved. "Thanks, Cath." She said appreciatively she turned to go but stopped in mid-step.

"Wait, I don't have my car."

"Take mine. I'll just hop a cab." She tossed Sara her keys and turned back to the scene.

Once Catherine was sure Sara was gone she picked up her cell again and dialed a familiar number. She tapped her foot impatiently waiting for an answer.

"We're sorry" Came a cool female voice. Then…

"Gilbert Grissom" Came Gil's voice, strangely out of context.

"Is not available right now. Please leave a message after the tone." BEEP.

"Hey Gil, it's Cath. You said I could call you if I had a concern. Well I do have one. And it's about Sara… so please call me as soon as you get a chance. Hope you're having a nice time wherever you are." She hung up frustrated and wondering what he was up to.

TBC…