A/N: I'm going to start counting favorites/alerts as reviews. It'll make my fragile ego feel better. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, it's been a big confidence boost and keeps me motivated.

Title: Reprieve

Summary: The "real" reason for it taking three years for Hawke and Fenris to reconcile their relationship. Or at the very least, a fathomable excuse other than "you never wanted to talk about it", pfft.

Warnings: Arishok encounter, brutalized and battered Hawke, Angsty/rage filled/emo Fenris, meddling Varric, plot-hole filling.

It had to be undignified, the way this was going. Because going up against a creature that was a good two times her size in every dimension was not going well. Especially for a rogue. She was running and dodging more than anything, being kept at a constant moving pace as the Arishok was relentless in his pursuit to grind her into a fine pulp. Her own size and speed at least let her the ability to duck under heavily swung blades, not that it prevented her from catching a few that sent her stumbling and scrambling to regain her feet before another blade came down and she was opportunistically striking when she could. Daggers were like toothpicks on this one.

For the first time in a long time, she was worried as her mortality screamed at her. A blade swung to the side and she tried to move with it to avoid a blow, only to feel it bite painfully into her side as she slid backward and away from it, a trail of blood following. Running in circles and waiting for an opportunity wasn't going to cut it much longer. Time to stand and fight or run and die. Those were the options, might as well pick one. She solidified her resolve and came back at the qunari with renewed vigor.

Hawke gave a yelp as the qunari's hand closed around her ankle, yanking her mid air right out of a back flip and then hurtled her downward, the ground coming up quickly to meet her in a sickening crack of her head against it as greeting. For a moment her world flashed white and the hazy vision of Carver was in her head, being tossed around much the same, then her world came sharply back into focus.

Weightlessness again as the Arishok was now flung her upward and using her own momentum she forced herself to turn in his hold, twisting her ankle and feeling the bones crack there as she reached out and grabbed the qunari's horn, preventing him from slamming her back down again. It also gave her just enough time to grab the one dagger that remained on her person and slam it into the Arishok's throat to the hilt and twist, closing her eyes at the spray of blood across her face and then giving a groan as they both went down, she rolled out of his grasp. She tried to ignore the pain that shot through her leg and gain her feet once more, and brought her dagger up defensively again, she expected him to be up and on her quickly…but this time he stayed down. Much to the disbelief of everyone it seemed.

There was silence and then there was applause. Hawke stood there breathing heavily, and clutched at the gash in her side as it was still sinking in what just happened…not that she had much time to think about it as her eyelids fluttered and she was either going to get sick or pass out. Meredith was there, saying something but she couldn't hear the words. In fact her only reaction was her dagger falling limply from her hand before darkness closed in on her and she collapsed to the floor.

Fenris was first to reach her before even Anders and his healing magic. He was blissfully unaware of the mage opposite of him on the other side of Hawke and tending to her wounds with magic as his own fingers sough out signs of life from her. The pool of blood under her was growing at an alarming rate and he snarled at Anders as he then became an important tool. "Faster! She's going to bleed to death!" The thought of losing her terrified him.

He didn't even care for the words thrown back at him as he turned his eyes back down to Hawke and her paling face. His eyes stayed glued there, watching her gasp short breaths as the glow of magic washed over her. Eventually the pool stopped growing and her breathing steadied some. Now if only she'd open her eyes.

A hand on his shoulder startled him where he was kneeling in her blood at her side and he turned a look over his shoulder to see Aveline watching him with a concerned expression.

"Meredith has offered a room here in the Keep, and Orsino his healing. Let them help."

For some reason, he felt powerless as Meredith had stepped forward and scooped up a bloodied and still limp Hawke, leaving him and a slumped and exhausted Anders where they were as she made off with the new Champion of Kirkwall with Orsino in tow. When he finally felt un-rooted from his spot and started up, Aveline's hand stopped him and he gave her a rare panicked look.

"She'll live." That was all the words she gave him in the way of comfort before she turned her attention to Anders. The words did not make him feel better.

For three days her eyes remained closed and every day and night one of her companions kept company with her, despite her lack of consciousness. Sometimes they all gathered together, or in pairs. Whatever time one could spare was spent watching over their companion and friend.

Fenris was the only one who would see her alone. At times he would accept Varric being there but the ever observant dwarf would often excuse himself feigning hunger, or he'd ask Fenris to take his watch so he could take a nap. They both knew the dwarf wasn't tired.

Another three days and in the dead of night, Fenris was taking his visit with her, again on Varric's shift and he had excused himself by citing a much needed visit to the privy.

The elf sat on the edge of the bed she was resting in and watched her for a long moment. Then he was pulling back covers to inspect injuries…any spark of pleasure that could have been taken from her nudity under the covers was drowned out by the marks of brutality over her skin, despite the passed time. How she was alive really was a wonder. Magic may have healed her some, but it did nothing for the bruising and other evidences of her endeavor. Even the wound at her side had been stitched for further reinforcement rather than completely tacked together with magic. A deep wound then, one no one wanted to risk quick healing on, just in case. Fenris had avoided checking said injuries for the sheer purpose of the unsettled feeling he had right now. They spoke loudly that she could have died and the thought of loosing her…again he couldn't bear to envision the scenario.

"She woke up earlier today…she called for you." Varric's voice startled the elf, who was making a show of covering Hawke back up and smoothing the blankets as he tried to not let his lack of composure show on his face. Varric was smarter than that however and saw the cracks in the elf's façade.

He sighed. "Elf…it's alright to be upset. I know what happened between you two." That made the elf's back tense, he observed, and a wary look got passed his way. "Despite her being who she is, Hawke is still a woman underneath it all. Women need to cry sometimes. I'm very good at listening and keeping secrets when asked by dear friends."

Fenris' eyes narrowed…she cried? Hawke did not cry. He expected her to be angry, to hate him, to want to throw things at him. But to cry? It confused him and now his confusion was playing on his face as he regarded Varric. "Then you know I have no right to even be here." It was selfish of him, but he had to make sure she wasn't dead.

"She called your name. You're who she wanted to see, that gives you more than enough right." Varric was one of those people who had learned to deal with the elf's standoffish nature…and to just keep talking at him even when he didn't seem to be listening. "Look, I know you have a lot on your plate with this whole revenge thing, and that letting yourself get distracted and what not is a bad thing. But still…you shouldn't let a good thing go just because it scares the piss out of you."

Now he was annoyed and he growled lightly. Hawke was not a distraction. She was more than that to him. His eyes moved down to the red band of cloth at his wrist, then over to Hawke, then back to Varric. "She deserves better than me. Someone who can give her what she needs."

Varric gave a boisterous short bark of laughter, and shook his head. "Dear elf, you and I both know Hawke better than that. Her own opinion is the one she cares about and she'll decide what is best for her. Even if it's a broody elf with mage issues. If it makes you feel better, she blames herself."

That got a hard look. "She shouldn't. She did nothing wrong."

"Well she does. It's written all right here." Holding up the red leather bound journal that was his own and yet chronicled everything he knew about Hawke. They had long conversations and he filled the pages with whatever it was she had to tell or what he thought of her or her actions. Helped keep his embellishments straight as well when he retold grandiose stories of her. "Would you like to read it?"

"The things she tells you in confidence should be kept as such." That statement didn't stop Varric from making a show of opening it and flipping a few pages.

"Ah yes, all right here…along with a lovely drawing of you in profile. Should I read it aloud? After all, I do have a fine narrating voice."

"I need to go." The elf stated briskly and then he was getting up and heading for the door, Varric clearing his throat stopped him. Why exactly he wasn't sure.

"You can't run from everything Elf. Some things are better to run towards." He didn't get an answer, save the sound of the elf exiting the room and closing the door. Varric shook his head before closing the tome, and moved back over to the bed Hawke was in, smoothing her hair away from her bruised face. "I hope you know what you're doing Hawke…it kills me to see your heart breaking." That said he pressed a careful affectionate kiss to her cheek and resumed his post in the chair by the bed.

It was another week before Hawke was lucid and able to at the very least sit up by herself. That didn't mean however she was out of the woods. There were…gaps in her memory it seemed. Some things were lost, some were fuzzy. Her companions found it necessary to quiz her on things to establish what was there and what wasn't. What she was missing, they were happy to recount for her and more often than not the memory easily came back in full. She just needed some reminding.

With Varric keeping her company for the night she had silently been staring at the ceiling most of the night. "You've barely eaten Hawke. Need to get your strength back up. People want to see the Champion up and about, probably have a whole list of parties to go to. Oh and gifts. Everyone loves to send a gift to the savior." He frowned when she didn't join in at his teasing. She was known to laugh at herself easily. "Where's your head Hawke? You didn't leave it on the Viscount's throne room floor did you?"

She let out a breath and turned to face him then. "How's Fenris?"

Ah, he was wondering when the elf was going to come up. After all, despite what apparent rift that Varric knew was between them it wouldn't be in the elf's nature to not make sure she was alright. He had every other time before she found herself laid up for some reason. Almost dying was a greater reason to visit rather than a broken arm or cold. "He's…concerned. He's come to check on you a few times, but you've never been awake and you need your rest so no one wanted to wake you."

"Please don't spare my feelings, you know why I'm asking." There was no humor in her voice.

He sighed and shook his head. "Alright. He's terrified. I'm not sure what's going on between those pointy ears of his but it's not good. We…talked a bit about the two of you."

"You what? Varric what happened to you keeping a secret?"

"Well…technically it's not a secret to him since he's involved, and I felt it was important. You two are more stubborn than two dwarves fighting over a copper with legalities rather than fists. I couldn't stand the way he was looking at you with those big elf eyes looking all weepy. Weepy does not suit him well at all. I prefer him broody."

"What did he say?"

"That you deserve better than him." Hawke's perplexed look made him shrug his shoulders, not having any further answer for her. He shook his head. "Out of all the things you remember. You can't remember Isabela causing you more trouble than you needed or half of the Expedition, all the good parts mind you, but you remember one night out of a million because of a broody elf. Either you're a secret romantic or he was just that good in bed."

To which Hawke couldn't help but laugh lightly, making Varric smile as well before she shook her head. "No, I'm not telling you how he is in bed. If anything he wouldn't appreciate that at all. He's barely been able to look at me since then. I'm sure that night is one of the things that he wished I did forget. Maybe then he'd feel okay again." She blinked as an idea slunk into her head then. "Varric…you're a good enough friend to know when to let some things be left in the dark right?"

"Yes, I like to think so. What are you getting at? You have that look."

"And you're such a good friend of mine…that if I forgot something that you knew made me so upset, you would keep it from me rather than bringing it up and making me remember like it was fresh, right?"

"I hope I'm not right about where you're going with this…but yes. If only it were up to me…this whole thing with you and the elf would turn out right. I'd simply wave my hand and make your dreams come true Hawke."

"Then you'll do me a favor, because you're my trusty dwarf."

Varric was not sure he agreed with Hawke's plan…but he would do what she asked. Maybe it would help her too…or at least he was sure she thought so. He wasn't. But a good story needed tragedy in some capacity. So that was why he was opening the always unlocked door of Fenris' borrowed estate…and gave a short prayer to whatever powers that be that were listening that he didn't get his head cleaved from his shoulders by a paranoid elf wielding a very large sword.

He made it past the foyer with his head still on his shoulders, so he considered himself lucky. Then unlucky as the toes of his boot met with one of the decaying corpses that the elf kept around for decoration. "Why me?" He sighed and made his way up the stairs to the one livable room left in the place. "Elf? Are you here?"

Still nothing greeted him but that probably wasn't surprising. Indeed Fenris was in his room, the elf sat before a slowly dying fire in the hearth in front of him and he looked to be concentrating very hard. "I don't think brooding at it hard enough will stoke it any. Needs more wood by the looks of it."

Fenris only sighed and straightened his back to be sitting up in the chair rather than brooding and hunched forward. "Is there something I can do for you, dwarf?"

"I come bearing gifts!" His tone was purposefully overly cheerful but it still didn't get a reaction save the raise of one skeptical black elven brow. Varric sighed and pouted as if someone had scratched Bianca. "You'll like this one, I promise." That said he held out a few folded pages with writing, and one drawn profile to Fenris.

Fenris' eyes flicked from Varric to the papers and then back again. "What are those?"

"Pages, clearly." Once again the elf didn't rise to his bait and he continued on a more serious note after a sigh. He was doing this for Hawke, and that was the only reason. "You know that we've been trying to make sure Hawke has all her pieces together and well…I remembered our talk. It turns out…she doesn't remember that night that you two had together." Which was a blatant lie but…well Varric would do anything for his friend, even if it meant editing and she knew he hated to do that.

Now the elf gave him a surprised look. "She doesn't remember…that night?"

"Seems not. She remembers going to the slaver caverns and that you left angry and that she worried because she didn't know where you'd gone. The next thing she remembers about you is you being broody but around again." He waved the pages in his hand a little as he glossed over details, encouraging the other man to take them.

"I'll be honest…when I was told about this whole…sordid romance affair between you two or whatever you want to call it…I wanted to hurt you. Because she was hurt. Not because you just up and left her, but because she couldn't stop you. Because she thinks she's not enough for you, not something that is more worthy of your life than your petty revenge. I did not like that hurt look and I did not like to see her heart breaking. So…I decided not to remind her and I pulled out the pages that I wrote on such things so she can't read about them later. Take them."

That knowledge only served in making Fenris feel worse and even more confused. Out of all people, how could Hawke think the same exact thought as him? Of not being worthy for the other? She was too good for him and more than enough, not to opposite. Dumbfounded now he reached out and took the papers, smoothing them out on his thigh to look over the dwarf's smooth penmanship.

"You've gotten what you wanted elf. She doesn't remember, and you're free of any guilt for how you treated her." He held up a finger, as he usually did when he was about to give advice. "Just because she doesn't remember that night doesn't mean she's forgotten everything she feels for you. Do with that knowledge what you will…but if you hurt her again, Bianca and I will be paying a visit this time." That said, the dwarf turned on his boot heel to leave and report back to Hawke.

Fenris closed his eyes and frowned, remaining silent as he listened to Varric leave. Yes…it seemed he had gotten what he wanted. Was it a second chance for him to not hurt her like that again, or was it a sign that he should leave well enough alone? He really didn't deserve her, was a coward for not being able to deal with what he felt. Memories and his past were ruling his life…it was a sad fact but it was indeed a fact.

Did that mean that he would have to turn away her advances now too? The flirting he secretly loved so much on the long nights they sat together talking or sitting in silence with one another? The caring gestures she took with him despite how he never asked? It would hurt her if he turned aside all those things. No matter his options he seemed to always end up hurting her. That was why she deserved better. But he wanted her for himself regardless. He was hopeless. Fenris rose from his chair and moved closer to the fire, taking a final look at the pages before he tossed them into the embers that greedily consumed the dry parchment.

Hawke was up and pacing her temporary room in the Viscount's Keep. It felt good to move in general but the pacing was helping with her mind at the moment as well. Would Fenris believe Varric? Was she doing the right thing? He had just felt so distant from her…and she would rather have him close in some capacity than trying to get as far away from her as possible because of one night of lust. Or at least she was going to convince herself it was just lust and that things had gotten out of hand. It was better this way.

Her pacing stopped abruptly as Varric came into the room, and shut the door with a sigh. "Well?"

"He didn't say much, but I think he went for it. We'll just have to wait and see." Now came the part where he meddled more, just as he did with Fenris. "The point remains that you do remember, even if you're going to pretend you don't. I told him that he shouldn't let a good thing slip through his fingers and I'm telling you that now. Just…try not to get yourself hurt. I can't stand to see you upset. It breaks my heart and then Bianca gets jealous and you know how it goes from there."

Leaning down she hugged the dwarf tightly. "Thank you Varric, I can always count on you. Even if you don't approve. Maybe…I can do things right this time by him."

"Maybe he'll do right by you, more importantly. Only time will tell Hawke. As I've heard it heals all wounds. I sure hope that's true, for both of your sakes."

"Me too…"