Disclaimer - I do not own General Hospital, its character's, or any references to previous characters, storylines, or settings. I also do not own CVS. Anything you do not recognize perhaps belongs to my imagination. Other than that, just the plot of this story belongs to me. :) Also, the song "The Beauty in Ugly" belongs to Jason Mraz.

Author's Note - I included the dates of the days that this chapter takes place in order to make you, the readers, hopefully feel more comfortable with the timeline of this story. I know flashbacks and whatnot can be tricky and since I am not revealing everything in chronological order, hopefully knowing the exact dates later on can help you understand the layout of the story. For future references, Spin committed suicide on Friday, May 1, 2009.

Beautiful Mess

The Beauty In Ugly

Well you are fresh

Your face is fabulous

Don't forget you're one of a kind

When nobody's checking the deeds that you've done,

And nobody is hearing your cries

You'll make all the fashion statements

Just by dressing up your mind.

Well if you want to get free

And if you want to do the passionate thing

And if you want to get smart

For the sake of your heart and all

You should own your name, and stand up tall

And get real

And see the beauty in ugly

Maxie stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around her dripping body. The shower had felt good, she was ashamed to admit far too many days had gone in between showers recently. Today was the day she would attempt to go back to work. Though Kate had attended Spinelli's funeral and paid her respects to the quirky, yet undeniably helpful young man, in Kate Howard's world, that was all the grieving that was necessary. Though she allotted both Maxie and Lulu one week each paid leave, she also let it be known in no uncertain terms that come May 11, they were both expected back at their desks and ready to work.

Walking into the bedroom, Maxie absentmindedly towel dried her hair as she thought about what to wear. She had e-mailed Lulu a list of her clothes that she wanted brought to the penthouse, and luckily the Original Blond One had not disappointed. Quickly, Maxie slid into one of her favorite dresses and strapped on a pair of heels that Spinelli had once likened to teetering on stilts. Completely on autopilot, Maxie styled her hair and applied her makeup, and soon found herself ready to be presented to the outside world, and with 10 minutes to spare. Looking at her reflection, she turned her face one way and then the other, inspecting the dark circles that had formed under her eyes. A small outbreak of acne spotted her chin, which pissed her off.

"Leave it to you, Spin, to be the reason my skin takes a turn for the worst," she muttered, leaning back away from the mirror after applying more concealer to the offending red blemishes. "Sorry, Spin. It's not your fault I was a waste of space this week...it's just so hard to do anything when I know you aren't here. If you can't do anything, why should I?" Maxie gazed into the mirror, talking to herself, or talking to Spin, she wasn't really sure. Her eyes went out of focus and her left hand tapped anxiously against the wood of the dresser.

"You can't do anything, and now I can't either. You shouldn't have left me. You knew I would be all alone, but you just cared about how hard it was for you to be here, not knowing. So what, you had to sit and wait? That's all I have to do now, too. Sit and wait until my time has come, until I can finally see you again. You left and you put me in your place. That was pretty selfish of you," her voice hardened, and her face visibly tensed, "You just left me here. You thought your pain was so bad, huh Spin? Your life was just so awful, wasn't it? Couldn't stand to breath for one more second so you took the easy way out. And who cares what happens to the Fair Maximista, right? Who cares if she's left all alone?"

Pounding her fist once more on the top of the dresser, she brought her hands up to her face and rubbed, not caring about smudging the makeup she had just carefully took minutes to apply.

"Oh, my god," she said, shocked. "I am actually talking to Spinelli as if he's here. He's dead and I'm still being a bitch to him. I'm really losing it. But he never deserved it before now, and now I feel guilty. I can't be mad at you if you're dead but..." her voice trailed off.

"Ugh, just do it Maxie. Get mad at him. He left you!" Her voice came out raised several octives, the shrill urgent cry sounding foreign to her ears. Raggedly running her hands through her hair, she tugged on the ends before releasing her grip. Her eyes frantically scanned the scattered top of Spinelli's dresser and in one swift motion, she knocked almost everything to the floor. The satisfying crash that ensued momentarily distracted her, empowered her, but it wasn't enough. She picked up his favorite bottle of cologne and pulled back her arm. Releasing the bottle as hard as she could, she managed a slight smirk of accomplishment when the mirror above his dresser smashed into shards of glass, but as she looked at the mess she created, the way she had destroyed Spinelli's possessions, her lower lip trembled. Taking a slow breath, she leaned forward on the now bare top, and tried to surpress her sobs. Still crying, she awkwardly knelt in her 5 inch stilettos and started picking up the jagged pieces of broken mirror and cologne bottle.

Jason had immediately started up the stairs at the sound of the first crash, but stopped outside the door when he heard the sniffles coming from Maxie. Finally deciding that she sounded as though she had collected herself, he somewhat roughly pushed the door open, catching Maxie off guard. Her mouth formed an "o" of surprise as she looked up, startled, and lost her balance. Trying to regain her stability, she tilted forward on the balls of her feet, but ended up overcompensating and toppled onto her hands and knees.

"Mother fucker!" She yelled.

"God damn it Jason, what the hell is the matter with you?!" Angrily, she got to her feet, but immediately took the weight off of her left leg when she realized the piece of glass she had landed on was completely imbedded in her skin.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, ew, ow, ew, ew!" Maxie directed her gaze up and her entire body tensed, her face not doing much to hide the look of pain from Jason.

"How bad is it?" Maxie got out between gritted teeth.

Sighing, Jason walked forward and knelt to examine the puncture wound on her slim leg. Placing his hand on the back of her knee, he tugged on the piece of glass very gently. He was relieved when the glass fell into his hand, revealing a deep but not damaging wound in Maxie's delicate flesh. He helped her lower herself on the edge of the bed and went to get a first aid kit. When he came back, Maxie was holding a towel against her knee and cursing softly. Groaning in frustration, she looked up.

"I think I need stitches."

Jason nodded and pulled out the wet wash cloth he had grabbed in the bathroom and gently pressed it against Maxie's cut. Her sharp intake of breath caused him to look up.

"It's just water!" He exclaimed.

"Well, if fucking stings anyway!"

An hour later...

Jason stood outside of Maxie's cubicle with a miserable look on his face. His arms were crossed stiffly in front of his chest and his gaze seemed to be focused on everything and nothing at the same time. The nurse behind the curtain with Maxie was getting her medical information, and Jason could hear snippets here and there about Maxie's heart condition and something about pain killers. His shoulders seemed to visibly sag as the one person he was hoping to avoid came bouncing around the corner.

"Oh, Jason!" Elizabeth chirped happily.

Jason nodded at Elizabeth politely and asked how she and the boys were doing. After the usual pleasantries were covered, there seemed to be an awkward silence for a moment. Luckily, the nurse popped her head out of the curtain.

"Excuse me, Mr. Morgan, she's asking for you to come in before we administer the shot."

Jason turned back to Elizabeth and said good bye, heading towards the curtain. He looked back at her over his shoulder when she called his name.

"Make sure you hold Carly's hand while they stitch her up, it really helps to be distracted. Tell her I hope she feels better."

Jason opened his mouth to correct her but promptly closed it, deciding that what Elizabeth didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Nodding goodbye, he disappeared from her sight.

Upon entering the cubicle, Jason could see Maxie eying the needle cautiously. She smiled sheepishly at Jason.

"I know, I know. I've had open heart surgery and more needles poked in me than the enemy of a porcupine. But they still give me the creeps!" Jason surprised Maxie by letting out a small, very small, chuckle as he sat next to her. The nurse asked if Maxie was ready for the needle to numb her knee and Maxie nodded, gritting her teeth to prepare herself. Not giving himself a chance to question his instinct, Jason reached out and took Maxie's small hand in his. When she looked at him questioningly, he shrugged, not meeting her gaze.

"You know Spinelli would practically be in that bed with you if it would make you feel better," he mumbled quickly. Maxie went to say something but instead hissed in pain and tightened her grip on his hand.

"Oh my god, was that the worst of it?"

When the nurse nodded, Maxie visibly relaxed and leaned back in the bed. The nurse told her she would give her a few minutes for the aenestectic to work and then she'd be back to stitch her up. Awkardly, Maxie slid her hand out of Jason's and gave him a small smile. As a few seconds of awkward silence passed, Maxie wracked her brain for something to say. She really wanted Jason to stay with her, but she didn't think he felt all that comfortable being in such an intimate, private setting so she was trying to think of a polite way of offering him the chance to leave when her curtain was pulled back, revealing Robin. Jason instantly looked a little more relaxed as he stood and said hello to Robin, and then quickly left the room leaving the two women alone.

Robin took a seat next to Maxie's bed and looked at her, studying her face. After a few moments, Maxie sighed, exasperated.

"What?!"

"How long are you going to milk this, Maxie?"

"What do you mean?" Maxie asked, genuinely confused.

"Do you honestly think Jason Morgan is comfortable having you around his apartment all the time? Having to be the one to bring you to the hospital? He probably wants to pack up Spinelli's stuff and move on. He doesn't want to have to babysit you, Maxie you know that. He's only looking out for you out of respect for Spinelli but you need to give him his space back."

Maxie didn't respond, she was truly too caught off guard to even think of something to say. It had never occurred to her that she wasn't wanted. Jason had been so accomodating and truly consciencious of Maxie's needs in the last two weeks that she had assumed her presence wasn't an issue. The nurse came in and Robin hugged Maxie good bye, telling her she would call her soon. Maxie was stitched up and given a prescription for some pain killers to drop off at the drug store. Jason helped her to the car and they sat in silence while Max ran into the local CVS to get what Maxie was prescribed. She shifted uncomfortably and eyed Jason.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked quietly.

He looked up from his paperwork and raised an eyebrow.

"The limo?" He questioned, clearly confused. Maxie gave Jason a half smile and shook her head.

"Do you want me to leave your apartment?" She asked, not looking at him.

"Honesly?" He asked, setting his paperwork aside and running his hands over his face. She nodded, still staring at her hands.

"I want you to stay. If you left...I wouldn't have anything to focus on anymore. Worrying about you is the only thing that makes me forget how much I miss Spinelli," Jason revealed, for once truly letting Maxie see Jason the person, not Jason the mob boss, Jason the muscles, or Jason the stone cold man of no emotion.

Max chose that moment to clamber back into the driver's seat, and soon they were on their way back to their home. As Jason helped Maxie out of the car, she paused for a moment to actually look him in the eye.

"If you tell anyone I said this I'll deny it til the day I die...I think I need you, too. I'll stay."

Tuesday, May 12, 2009, 9:00 am

Maxie squared her shoulders as she waited for the elevator doors to open. The expected ding was heard as she arrived at her floor, and she saw Lulu at her desk, already getting started on the long day ahead. She exited the elevator and attempted a confident stride into the offices of Kate Horward, but ended up wincing one step in and instead resigned herself to the pathetic limp she had used all the way through the hotel lobby downstairs. When Lulu turned at the sound of Maxie's footsteps, Maxie simply gestured towards Kate's office. Lulu gave her a questioning glance, but nodded that Kate was free before returning to her phone call.

Maxie stepped inside and inwardly cringed when she heard the sharp intake of breath from Kate.

"Um, Maxie. Lulu explained to me why you weren't in yesterday, and I understand that you're probably still in some physical pain, as well as...maybe...not emotionally...put together...or...whatever," Kate was at a loss as to how to get to her point, that sweatpants and sneakers were not exactly the attire expected of the staff at Crimson magazine, as aspiring fashionista Maxie Jones was fully aware of. "I want to give you as much leniency as you need, Maxie, and I'm trying really hard to give you the appropriate time to grieve, and now recover from your injury, but...sweat pants?! Really?!"

Maxie, to her credit, did not get snarky or defensive at Kate's attitude towards her clothing. She simply stood before Kate, her hands at her sides, her gaze floating around the room as if she was trying to commit all of it to memory.

"I'm here because I respect you, Kate, and I truly appreciate all of the oppurtunities you have given me. I will always be so grateful that you took a chance on me, even though I had no experience and a really bad track record. I hope someday you'll see that taking a chance on me was a really good decision, and though I'd like to keep proving to you now that I am a dilligent employee, worthy of the experiences you have allowed me, unfortunately the time has come for me to leave. I wanted to give you my resignation in person so that you hopefully can understand that this is a truly difficult moment for me. It's not that I want to leave, because I love this job so very much," Maxie's voice wavered and she swallowed before continuing, "but I loved Spinelli more. I just can't give you 100% right now and I would never want to do anything to jeopardize the reputation of the magazine so...this is it for me."

Kate stood silently behind her desk, taking in the fact that the most promising young talent she had ever come across was quitting becase of a broken heart. She stepped around her desk and, taking Maxie by surprise, she quickly wrapped her arms around the girl and pulled her into a brief hug. She stepped back after only a second and firmly placed a hand on each of Maxie's shoulders.

"If you need the time away, take it. But know that you are the best thing, next to me of course, " Kate smiled, " that has ever happened to this magazine. Lulu is great, but you are made for this job and you are made for this magazine. The job is waiting for you when you want it back."

She squeezed Maxie's shoulders once before releasing her and turning away, signaling the moment as well as the conversation was over for the time being. Maxie quietly let herself out of the office and stopped in front of Lulu's desk.

"It's all you now," she said, and then she left Kate Howard's office for quite possibly the last time.

Author's Note Part 2 - I've had a couple of comments regarding Spinelli and his death. Don't worry, all will be explained in due time and it's probably not what you think. I like Spinelli just as much as the next person but his death was imperative to the storyline.

Author's Note Part 3 - If you'd like any spoilers, feel free to ask (but have a specific request, I don't want to spoil anything you don't want spoiled!). Thanks for reading, drop me a line if you're feeling generous. : )