ZERO

Chapter Four

Kailyn stood in the doorway, running a towel over her wet head. She leaned against the doorway as she pulled the towel off her head. Her eyes settled on Wufei, standing at the window, staring out through blinds into literally pitch black. There should have been some illumination from stars or even the moon this far out in the country with no city lights to obscure it, but she could hear thunder in the distance. Any of that would have been hidden by storm clouds. She tossed the towel into the bathroom before walking into the room.

His laptop sat open on the table, but had gone into hibernation mode. She wondered how far he got into the content before he couldn't stand it. She couldn't see but one side of his face as he looked out the window, but the focus in that one eye wasn't… well, wasn't so focused. She sighed inwardly, her hand resting on the lid of the laptop as she watched him, sliding her bag off her shoulder into the chair. She shook her head, closing the laptop as she stood beside him, finally drawing his attention, merely a brief side-glance. "Penny for your thoughts?"

He didn't answer. He just closed his eyes a moment, taking in a deep, fortifying breath before opening them. Whatever he'd been thinking about saying just… disappeared from his mind as he looked at her. His brow rose as he finally did. "What ARE you wearing…?" His dark eyes scanned her from top to bottom, shaking his head. He'd seen this particular ensemble before, ages ago, it seemed. But the woman wearing it then didn't wear it nearly as well as the woman wearing it now.

"Hn…" She narrowed her eyes on him a moment, an attempt to hide the sheer amusement at his response. Sure, okay, she'll excuse this change of topic; she wasn't exactly thrilled about revealing anything… unless he asked. "Lu's idea of a joke…" She gave him a partial grin with a shake of her head. "I used to make fun of some of some pictures she had of her in this ugly green tank top and sweats… I think they were taken when she was an OZ instructor…"

"Well, it certainly looks better on you than it did on her…" He nearly clamped a hand over his mouth, but decided against it, to keep what little dignity he had, he did NOT mean to say that OUT LOUD! And the look on his face clearly betrayed the mental beating he was giving himself. And she was LAUGHING about it! Deep breath in, deep breath out. Kailyn was managing to get under his skin as much as, if not more than any women Wufei had ever met, but she wasn't DOING anything. And it wasn't the 'let's annoy Wufei until he gets pissed' kind of bother, either. It was a 'why the hell am I not thinking straight around this onna?' kind of bother. Wufei was just damned confused when it came to this woman. And he did NOT just comment on Heero Yuy's sister's body!

She wasn't really laughing, but she was clearly amused about the remark, as well as his reaction, but to ease his mind, or perhaps salt the wound even more, her lips quirked into a smirk. "Well… I suppose I should take that as a compliment…" But her smirk didn't remain as she gave a small glance and a nod towards the laptop, forcing her mask back in place. "You have questions…" Her mask fell when his expression changed as he met her eyes again. She frowned, looking into those dark eyes, tearing her gaze away at the pain she could see in them. She looked down to the closed laptop, her eyes showing a glimmer of hatred towards it. She should have known that the parts of that bastard's diary would have included certain items she'd wanted to keep from her brother.

"It's… difficult to concentrate… I only get one or two sentences in and…," Wufei just shook his head, closing his eyes. "I have to make myself read more…."

"…but you just see the words, you're not actually reading it…" She reached into her bag and dug around for a comb she knew she'd seen in there while in the bathroom, attempting to busy herself while she thought the best way to word things. "I never saw anyone other than my brother, but from the glance I took earlier, there were only fifteen of us that were… chosen… to participate in the project. Don't ask me where they all came from, because I don't know. I don't remember anything before our… training. I was only four when it started. I couldn't even tell you what our names were before they were taken, replaced by a fucking number."

She finally found the comb and started running it through her wet tangles and knots, not even flinching as it caught and tugged on her head. "Most of what I remember was conditioning us to no longer feel pain. Different trainers had different methods; some were… harsher, more extreme than others. Those of us that began to fight back were encouraged to do so, to enforce the basic human instinct to fight for survival. Only the strong survived, only the strongest would do for their 'perfect soldiers'." The last words hissed through clenched teeth. She remained silent a moment as she finished combing the tangles out of her hair. "And, naturally, the further along we were in our training, the harsher the discipline, since pain was becoming no longer an issue."

She took in a deep breath and held it for a moment as she let herself fall onto the side of the bed, continuing to run the comb through her tangles as she released the breath in one long sigh. She paused her combing, resting her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands for a moment. Never in her life did she think she'd ever have to dwell on that hellhole ever again. And ever since this mess began… Sally's call, her 'accident', and then Jack… She lowered her hands as she felt a sag in the bed beside her and a strong hand on her back. She turned her head to meet his eyes and he could see a conflict within them, as if she wasn't exactly sure what she was feeling.

He had remained completely silent and still as she spoke, the knot having returned yet again to his chest. There were hundreds of questions going through his mind, but he couldn't bring himself to ask any of them. Now just wasn't the time, he knew. He walked over and sat beside her, lightly rubbing her back, offering whatever comfort he could. "I promise you," he said softly as their eyes met. "I won't let them find you. I won't let them hurt you anymore."

She gave him a small genuinely appreciative smile that quickly fell. "The last thing I want, Chang, is for someone else to die because of me. Sally… Jack…" She shook her head as she stood, walking over to the window, staring out, as if anything could be seen through the country darkness. She gave him a brief glance as he continued to sit quietly on the bed. She knew the question in his eyes, and nodded her understanding. "You didn't know Jack." She leaned against the window frame, looking back out the window. "Jack Caine was a member of the organization; he was over the unit that was in charge of training me and my brother. He hated his job; he was one of the few that actually cared about the children he was responsible for. I sometimes wonder if he was the only reason we survived."

She read another silent question in his eyes, and Wufei wondered if she and her brother had some kind of extra-sensory perception that allowed them to read the questions, or they were just that good at reading people.

She gave a slight shrug. "He needed the money. He had a sick wife and a daughter to care for. Employment options were limited with war looming and all… and he was far too deep in the organization by that time to drop out without bringing danger to his family. Every day I saw him, it seemed a little more of his soul had disappeared." She fell into the chair after moving her bag, crossing one leg over the other. "By the time the gundam came along and Doctor J took over my brother's training, his wife had died and his daughter had gone missing during all the chaos. He made a deal with J to get me out of there and take care of me and J would make sure my brother was taken care of."

She turned her attention back out the window. "Jack was just about the closest thing to a father I've ever known. And I was just as much his daughter; he even gave me her name." She uncrossed her legs, leaning forward in the chair, again resting her elbows on her knees, folding her hands together. "I've lived with him since then. I…" She paused, looking down to her hands, nervously wringing them together. "You were right last night… about me being careless… I don't like to be left alone, and it got to a point that I didn't care what kind of company I was left in… I'd prefer a fight with a would-be rapist or robber as long as I wasn't alone."

There was a sudden change in her voice, an almost timid whisper, and he instinctively reached across the small distance between them, taking both her hands in his, drawing her gaze up to his. "Kailyn, you are anything BUT careless. You wouldn't have asked me to stay if you weren't aware of the possible consequences." He offered her a small smile as he held her hands, his thumbs tracing small circles over her wrists. "I've no doubt you could take care of yourself in a dangerous situation…"

She stared down to their hands, for a moment with wide eyes, never blinking. Anyone else and she would have snapped back to her senses, putting her guard up, pulling away. She was amazed at her willingness to let him offer this comfort. And she was even more amazed that it was no effort in opening up to him. "…except with that bastard…" She gave a distasteful glance to his laptop. "When I'm alone… I hear his voice… memories of that damned place I've tried hard to bury just creep back into my mind. Hell, for the first three years Jack and I were on our own, I wouldn't sleep in my own room. I slept on the floor next to Jack, if I slept at all…" She looked back down to their hands, feeling an indescribable urge to just collapse into him, have him embrace her, hold her, hide her. Instead she squeezed his hands tightly, afraid to let go.

"There aren't many men I'm afraid of, Chang. And Jack's willingness to allow me to run a bar alone is testament to that. But that son of a bitch is at the top of the list. I don't even know what to call him. We never knew a name, just like the organization itself didn't have a name. I'd be less afraid if I knew what to call them…"

Wufei released on of her hands, catching her gaze before what looked like panic could settle into her eyes, as her other hand began to tremble. He reached up, running fingers through her still damp hair. "Kailyn… Courage isn't the absence of fear… It's because of fear that we learn to fight. Courage is the resolve to do what's necessary in spite of fear. That's what it means to survive. That's what your training was about, right?" His hand lingered a moment, his thumb gently tracing down the side of her face.

He watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath in, holding it a moment before releasing it slowly. When her eyes opened again, they were focused and her trembling stopped as she gave a single nod. "You're a strong young woman, Kailyn. Fear isn't a weakness as long as you have the strength to overcome it." It was clear, at that point, as he dropped his hand from her face, he had redefined his meaning of the word 'weakness'. Another question rose as to why this woman affected him the way she did.

"You'll find that strength, eventually. Until then, I'll be right here, lending mine…" He hadn't truly understood what it was he said until she leaned in, giving him a soft, brief kiss on the cheek. He blinked for a moment, meeting her gaze when she pulled away.

"Thank you, Wufei…"