Just beyond the final tent full of civilian laborers, Zulgha put the finishing touches on their tent. It was spacious enough since she was the only one who used it; none of her three traveling companions technically needed to sleep, though they could force themselves into a dream-like state if they wanted to. They hadn't elected to do so during their trek across Tanaris and Silithus and over Ungoro due to the dangers lurking around every sand dune, though for once they were in a safe place. She was expecting the others to arrive any minute, though she was seriously hoping that if Finneas had gotten out of Ahn Qiraj already, he wouldn't want to toss his undead body onto one of the bed rolls.
She stood at the open tent flap and surveyed her work. In addition to two bedrolls and a mat for Rahotepa, Zulgha had set up a low table for her travel log, a few magazines and a fold-out clothing rack manufactured by some Dwarven company at the Port of Stormwind called Ikeo. It was the same exact setup they used during the trip on the way there, but somehow it looked just a little bit more comfortable now that they knew where their targeted item drop was and, you know, they weren't being stepped on by sneaky automatons. Taking a deep breath, she waited for a moment in the early evening darkness, listening to the sound of a medium-sized wooden trunk being dragged in the sand.
Turning around, she found Runa pulling an aged wooden chest next to the goblin warlock, who looked rather proud of himself. He'd already been paid for guiding them inside the ruins, so his demeanor wasn't surprising. "Well, here it is, in all its ignominy," he chuckled once Runa stopped. He patted the weathered surface of the chest as if he was selling a used ox-driven cart. "There's no actual key; you just pull this latch in order to lock it shut. Just keep an eye on it when you're on your boat ride back to Lordaeron so nobody tries to steal from you and you'll be fine."
"Sir, I don't know how to thank you. I can't imagine how pissed off id be if we'd fought all the way through the ruins only to find that this thing was out here at the blockade the entire time." Zulgha shook the tiny man's hand and then nudged the chest inside the tent with her foot. "So that concludes our business, then?"
"Please, that thing is all yours." At first, the goblin's eyes widened as if he was having a flashback, but he quickly caught himself and forced a salesman's smile. "But hey, maybe you'll have better luck. Pleasure doing business with you!"
"You too!" Zulgha and Runa both said as the man hurried away, though only Runa said "jinx" afterward, letting a confused noise out of her nose when she turned and found that Zulgha was already inside of the tent and unwilling to high five her.
Laying the chest in between the two bedrolls, Zulgha clapped her hands once in order to automatically dim the lighting on the haunted lantern at the head of the tent. With a sufficiently low level of darkness, she sat down on her bedroll and waited for Runa to float in behind her. They'd accomplished their main goal, but she also had a lot of sleep to catch up on and would need to tie a few loose ends prior to enjoying a good nine (or ten) hours of sleep.
Runa floated in behind her, looking a bit pensive, though at that point Zulgha was too tired to pretend to care. "So I heard from some of the laborers that Finneas eventually got out?" the orc asked, simply wanting to confirm that she wouldn't need to enter the ruins again and save his sorry ass.
"Yes, eventually the guards grew weary of listening to his complaints," the val'kyr replied, her dialect as antiquated as her accent. "Rahotepa entered during the fray..."
Zulgha's heart sank. "Oh shadow, no! Did they go in to save her?"
"There was no need; she entered on her own volition when her real reason for coming along on this quest revealed itself." There was a hint of a smile on Runa's black lips that she probably thought was sly, but Zulgha just found it frustrating. When she realized that the orc was glaring at her, Runa continued. "One of the local Qiraji obsidian destroyers was stalking not much further than the anubisath we defeated. And, well, it was a strapping male-"
"Stop, good hellfire and brimstone just stop right there," Zulgha interrupted, trying to shove the mental images out of her head. "Did anybody see her come back out?"
"Yes, she exited and fell asleep near a pile of rope and a crate full of trash bags. By the looks of her, she's going to be sleeping for a very long time-"
"Okay, enough of that. Is Finneas sufficiently distracted that he won't come here to the tent?"
"The answer to that question is also a yes; apparently, the undead warlock is equally disgruntled and dissatisfied with life after life, and they're walking around the blockade commiserating and throwing rocks at the stray cats."
"Ha ha, yeah, that sounds like Finneas." Ignoring Runa's disappointing frown at the violation of animal rights, Zulgha pulled her pajamas out of her bedroll. "Well anyway, if you don't mind, I'll need to get some rest, seeing as how we mortals need sleep. If you could give me nine-ten, ten hours-"
"Many of the undead can sleep too! We can enter a dreamlike state whereby we lay unconscious and remember our lives past. In fact, since nobody else is here on this bedroll, I thought we might bunk together. After all, I've been on watch while Rahotepa was in the tent all across the desert..." There was a hopeful glint in Runa's annoyingly spotless smile; unlike Finneas, she still understood that Bunsenburger had appointed Zulgha as party leader for the quest.
Unable to reasonably reject the request despite really not wanting to fall into the chat trap with one of her least favorite people, Zulgha relented. "Fine, whatever, just don't snore or anything."
"I can sleep, but I don't snore because I don't breathe," Runa replied in an unassuming know-it-all tone that made Zulgha want to punch her all the same.
Laying down on her side of the tent, Zulgha slipped out of her black robe and started putting on her pajamas while underneath the bedroll. The oddly echoing sound of ethereal metal hitting the floor alerted her to the sight of Runa taking everything off before she quickly looked away.
"Runa what the hell! At least conjure some ghostly pajamas or something!"
Sincere as always, the val'kyr pretended like it wasn't supremely awkward or inappropriate. "In Northrend, everybody sleeps like this," she replied, removing the rest of her armor and everything underndeath it before laying down with only her wings folded around herself as a blanket.
"Freak," Zulgha grumbled while rolling onto her other side and facing the other way to sleep.
True to her word, Runa didn't snore, and within minutes the faint sounds of the night watch at the blockade began to drift away. Zulgha did as well, opening and closing her eyes as drowsiness took over, leading her toward a good night's sleep now that her task had been accomplished.
Until something began banging on the inside of the treasure chest.
Whump whump whump whump whump
Eyes shooting open at lightning speed, Zulgha almost thought that she was back in Brill with one of the ghoul's knocking on her door to wake her up. She was still in the tent, though, wondering if she'd really heard what she thought she'd heard.
For a minute or so she waited, wondering if she'd imagined the sound or not. Eventually sleep overtook her again, the still desert sands providing an almost perfect environment for deep slumber on a windless night.
Whump whump whump whump whump
The banging was angry and forceful, like a crotchety old man complaining to a neighbor about all that racket. This time Zulgha knew that it was real, and quietly whined to herself as she rolled over and decided to figure out what was going on. All seemed at peace in the tent, and indeed even the treasure chest hadn't moved. It was obviously the source of the sound, however, and she didn't want to be woken up for a third time after trying to just ignore it.
Taking a deep breath, Zulgha sat up cross legged and rugged her eyes with one hand while rotating the chest to face her with the other. What sounded like stone rattled inside, as if reminding her that the contents were waiting on her to open them up. Mustering all the patience she could, she flicked the lock and opened the container.
Inside was a small pillow, some loose change, a broken soup ladle, lots of bubble wrap and the prize. As blue and realistic as the photograph she'd seen, there laid the horusath idol, the object of their quest. It couldn't have been more than two feet tall, probably even less, but was as functional as the giant versions she'd seen. Without even being told, the idol stood up and blinked, looking as dazed as she was.
Not knowing what else to do but wanting to usher the oversized doll back to a resting state, Zulgha forced herself to flash her gummy smile. "Hey," she practically yawned. "Hey little guy. How do you like your new surroundings?"
Whether the idol understood Common or not, it twisted its torso and inspected the tent. Its birdlike face gave away little in the way of emotion or reaction, but there seemed to be a sense of wonderment about it.
"We're your new family. Lots of people are waiting to see you in your new home. Isn't that something?" Zulgha yawned wide, covering her mouth and reminding herself to keep the introduction short. "So listen, we have a big day tomorrow, or maybe after tomorrrow, so we need to..."
And then, right when she was in the middle of her sentence, the idol turned around and started to walk toward the tent flap.
Oh hell no, don't even start, she grumbled to herself internally. "Okay, okay," she said as she took the idol under the armpits and lifted it back over to her like a child, emphasizing it the second time when the toy appeared to be ignoring her. "Don't worry, we'll get going eventually, but after we rest first." The idol turned around to look at her, blinking again as if confused. "We're going to lay down like this, right? Then tomorrow I promise we can go."
For a few seconds the idol just stared at her, as if it was fighting to comprehend her words. She didn't know its exact origins and what languages it would understand, but she didn't speak Titan and there was no greater chance of it knowing Orcish than Common, so she just tried to explain the situation the best she could in her second, but primary, language.
"Do you understand?" she asked politely.
And then the idol started to walk toward the tent flap again.
"No...come here - no," she said, speaking more firmly when it tried to wiggle out of her arms. "I'm sorry if this is confusing for you, okay?" She rotated the idol to face her again, leaning down low to appear closer and more sincere. "I'm sorry. It must be tough for you, to wake up into the world like this. But really-"
And then the horusath idol bitch slapped Zulgha right across the face.
"What the fuck!"
If she hadn't been awake previously, she certainly was now. The bitch slap didn't actually hurt; the idol was made from stone, but its palm was about the diameter of a large gold coin, and it was only as strong as a two-foot-tall mechanical doll was expected to be. It was more the insolence, and the unexpected nature of the violence. And the way it growled at her afterwards.
"You insolent little shit!" she exclaimed, the proverbial gloves off.
Squaring its tiny shoulders, the idol held its ground, not moving to strike again but puffing its chest up as if it were defending territory. The way it narrowed its eyes at her spoke the universal language of 'you want some of this' and she got the distinct impression that the little battle pet actually wanted to battle.
"Listen here you overgrown plaything, I'm the one in charge. So you're going to get in there," she said while stuffing the idol back into the chest, "and shut your face." Slamming the lid shut and locking it, she rubbed her eyes again, trying to take in what just happened. Her heart rate was so high that she feared she wouldn't sleep easily, and without wasting time, she laid back down again.
"Ingrate," she grumbled while closing her eyes and trying to rest.
Unfortnately, she forgot that the horusath idol was shut inside of the treasure chest with an ample supply of Bilgewater bubble wrap.
Pop
"No..." she groaned.
Pop pop pop
"Oh fuck you, no."
Pop pop pop pop pop pop
"You little kobold's asshole, cut it out!"
Pop pop pop pop whump pop pop pop pop pop whump whump whump pop pop pop whump pop whump pop
"Rrrraa!" Zulgha growled while sitting up again. Her sleep quickly escaping her, she started to bunch up the nearest article of clothing she could find on the floor of the tent. Grabbing the latch to the chest, she scooted over to ambush the idol. "I'm going to stuff that thing with so much fabric that you won't be able to move - oh you little bastard!"
The moment that Zulgha started to open the lid, the idol pulled it back down from the inside, smashing her fingertips in between the lid and the rim of the chest. The split second reaction whereby she retracted her hand was enough for the idol to bust out, allowing it to bolt for the tent flap.
"No!" she screeched while unsuccessfully leaping across the tent floor, falling just short as it escaped.
Her sleep gone, she blinked away the salty discharge from her eyes and grabbed her shoes. Once she stood up and tried to wear them, she stumbled from drowsiness and nearly tripped over Runa's wings.
"Damnit, Runa," Zulgha grumbled while tripping over to the tent flap...and then she heard the absolute last thing she wanted to hear in a camp full of unfriendly strangers.
"Fire!" yelled the voice of a Dwarven woman Zulgha remembered as one of the Argent Crusaders. "Someone knocked the lantern over in the ammunition tent!"
For what felt like an eternity, Zulgha just paused at the tent flap before shooting into action. Wearing her pumps with her faded pajamas with holes in the shirt, she started running in between the tents of the camp, searching for the smell of burning lamp oil. A number of the security forces were running back and forth, carrying meager waterskins and empty buckets as they appeared to be preparing for the worst.
Behind the ammunition tent, she found her target already dragging a sack full of gunpowder out from beneath a tent. The book of pilfered matches laying in the sand nearby told Zulgha all she needed to know about its fundamental nature.
"I've got you, you son of a bitch!" she snarled as she snatched up the idol. Before it could even see who it was, it tried applying a hold to the well-known pressure point between the thumb and index finger on Zulgha, enflaming her even more. "You have absolutely no respect for anybody, do you hear me?" she scolded the defiant doll.
From the other side of the tent, in the well-lighted space in the middle of a number of official tents, the disappointed druid from earlier in the day was apparently passing judgment. "I knew we shouldn't have let those necromancy fetishists in here," he lamented in a noble sounding voice despite the way it caused Zulgha to freeze and hold still in the dark alley between tents. "Sweep the perimeter; I want all four of them detained for questioning."
"Oh you son of a...oh, you really screwed up!" she whispered while sneaking away from the main area of tents with the idol, no longer concerned with whether it could understand her or not. Hurrying back to their tent, Zulgha was grateful to find Runa awake and at least halfway dressed inside.
"About what is all the commotion?" Runa asked, almost pushing Zulgha into a rage at the val'kyr's refusal to end a sentence with a preposition.
She held up the idol as if it was a piece of evidence. "This little miscreant just-"
Ka-boooom
The gunpowder ignited just when Zulgha realized that the match book was empty and the idol had lit all the matches and dropped them without her noticing. The explosion was deafening, and they could see the lights of the fire through the canvas of their tent. Battle cries of sentinels and panicked screams of laborers rang out as a second explosion rocked the camp, though there was no time to wonder just how many barrels of gunpowder there were in the ammunition tent.
For the first time, Zulgha actually saw Runa looked scared. "What in the world is happen-"
"RUN BITCH RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Zulgha screamed while grabbing her robe from the floor and shoving her books inside. "THEY'RE AFTER US!"
Not even waiting for Runa to finish donning her armor, Zulgha ran out, carrying her books in her robes like a sling and ignoring the idol as it pinched and kicked at her. Running straight beyond the last unconnected walls of the camp, she entered the desert, glancing all around until she saw Rahotepa predictably fleeing as well. The obsidian destroyer didn't notice Zulgha at first, and they both continued fleeing straight into the desert until the former noticed the latter.
"Zulgha I heard an explosion and I was trying to sleep and I got scared!" Rahotepa said way too fast as she swooped down to give Zulgha a ride on her back. "What's going on!"
"Just fly, I'll explain everything later!"
Thankfully, Rahotepa actually took direction well and gained altitude without looking back. Zulgha did, watching the outline of Runa trying to catch up with them even if it meant her braids came undone and messy in the wind. Far behind even Runa, the outline of Finneas could be seen in front of a mob of purple elves and pink and brown humans. Every few seconds the night crackled with blue light as he shot electricity at his pursuers and then waved his hands for the three others to wait for him.
Which Zulgha would do eventually. Maybe. Only if he couldn't fight the angry mob off by himself. Otherwise, he'd have a long walk across two deserts as they tried to return to Gadgetzan with the worst quest drop ever.