Disclaimer: No officer, I swear! I don't own a thing! It's all Jo's, all hers!

Author Note: yay! I broke the 200 hits mark. AND got 5 more reviews!

Piggy396-woot! You are my first serial reviewer! –hugs- I love you! It sucks u have school, doncha love conferences tho?

Purplepirate-first off, love your name! My two favorite things! Purple stuff and pirates! Secondly, Thank you so much for the positive review!!!! –hugs-

I also had 2 other reviews, but for some reason I can't see them yet…is that normal? But anyway, you know who you are and thank you! N does anyone know if its normal to not be able to see the reviews right away?

Hahaha its not even funny how neurotic I am about reviews and hits (which is why I'm laughing like a loon…) I sit here and refresh every 10 seconds and when it goes up I get up and do a happy dance! I know I am so cool. Ok yay onto the 3rd chap in 1 day! That's got to b a record huh?

Chapter 4: Marry Me!

James: Lily! Will you…will you marry me? –goes down on one knee-

Lily: What? No! James, get up. GET UP! NOW!

James: -beams- Ok Lily, I can wait. But the book says you will. And the book is always right.

Lily: -wails- Deep breaths Lils, in…out…

Sirius: The Book is always right? –holds book above his head like a sacred relic-

James: -nods gravely-Always.

Sirius: –eyes get really big- always?

James: Always.

Sirius: really?

James: YES YOU PRAT ALWAYS! Did you not hear me the first 80 times?

Sirius: I don't believe you. –throws book at James and crosses arms-

James: OW! PADFOOT!

Remus: It's a book guys! Be nice to it! Just because it's a really freaky book, doesn't mean it tells the future.

Sirius: Well aren't you just the freakin' voice of reason Remy?

Remus: -grits teeth-

Lily: -muttering- it better not tell the future.

James: Whatever, if it tells the future or not –cough- it does –cough- I'm going to finish reading it. but they hadn't met for several-

Lilly: Oh no, you don't! –snatches book out of James's hands-

James: -cowers- (the book is HARDCOVER, remember?)

Lilly: If we let you read it you'll probably add in some pervy fantasy of your own or something equally as nauseating. I'll read it. Ahem. The first part of this book was completely false, Lily did not marry James, he died in a horrible accident involving…erm…killer flobberworms. Lily actually married a handsome, smart, funny, non pervy, famous, successful ministry worker. The End.

Author Note: muahahaha yes I am sadistic! Don't worry tho this isn't the whole chapter…I still need to finish it but it will b up tomorrow! Yay Review! Don't you want to be the cause of my insane happy dances every time I refresh and get a new review? If I were you I would want to be.

Mwah♥ (btw the lil box next to mwah is a heart if u can't see it)

Dot

New Author Note: during the night I broke the 300 hits mark! Or I guess I should say YOU did! You being my lovely readers that I heart to death.

Thank you to greeneyez2 and murdrax for reviewing! –hugs them-

And to Ravenclawroyalty-yay! I feel so special! I'm in your favorite stories! Eeeee!

Piggy396-haha we are the two coolest ppl on earth with our spazzy dancing! Yay! Next time I have one I'll think of you! Love you so much! Thank you for da reviews! –hugs- oh and guess wat? I'm eating a banana! Hahahaha

And for everyone who reviews me, if they have stories, I'm goign to read them! And I will review them like you review my story!

Now onto (the continuation of) chap 4!

James: What?? It doesn't actually say that does it? Killer flobberworms?

Lily: YES! It does say it! –sits on book-

Sirius: Don't be thick James; of course it doesn't actually say that in there. Lily is just too insecure to admit her burning passion for you. So she had to cover it up with some sad six year olds fantasy.

All: -stare at Sirius-

Remus: Sirius…did that just make…sense?

Lily: -turns a bit pink- Well it would have made sense if it was true. But its NOT!

Sirius: Bananas. –flaps banana peel at them-

Remus: -sigh- and I almost thought he was halfway sane.

James: Lily, get off the book! I want to see if Padfoot was right!

Lily: HE WASN'T!

James: -sticks tongue out- Prove it!

Lily: -hands on hips- How?

James: Give me the book so I can read it!

Lily: NO! I mean…umm...er…

Remus: Lily, look! There's a hot guy behind you.

Lily: -jumps up and spins around- Where?!

Remus: -grabs book-

Lily: -glares at Remus- Your evil. Pure evil.

Sirius: Look who's talking…

Lily: -glares at Sirius-

Sirius: -gulp-

James: Read the stinking story Remus! –bounces up and down really fast-

Sirius: Yeah Remus, read. Before James loses control of his bladder.

James: Hey! That only happened once!

Lily: -snorts-

They all settle on the couch with Remus in the middle, Lily on his right side and James on his left. Sirius was crouched on the back of the couch. Unfortunately for him, in perfect position to be pushed off should anyone decide he was being too annoying.

Remus: Ok here goes: Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister (Lily: Did you have to read that part again?) but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister,

Lily: I don't know whether to be excited or offended about that.

Remus: because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband

James: Excuse me! Good for nothing my arse!

Lilly: -mutters- Well its true.

James: I heard that.

Lilly: Good

James: -sad face-

Remus: were as undursleyish as it was possible to be. Undursleyish? Is that even a word?

James: Who cares?

Remus: -sigh- The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the potters arrived in the street.

James: Why would we arrive in the street? Don't they have a fireplace?

Lily: They're MUGGLES, remember?

Sirius: Muggles don't use floo??

All: -odd looks at Sirius-

James: I worry about you Padfoot…

Remus: The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small-

Sirius: BANANA!

Lily: Remus can I borrow the book for a second.

Remus: Uh…sure.

Lily: -smacks book on head- if he mentions bananas one more time I will murder someone. –gives book back to Remus-

Remus and James: -worried about Lily's use of the general word "someone" when saying she was going to murder them.

Remus: Son –winces in anticipation-

Lilly and James: SON?!

Lily had a look of utter horror on her face. And James manic smile was almost as frightening.

James: Lily! Marry ME!

Lily: -completely (blissfully) oblivious to James's question- I had a…a SON? WITH HIM? First I marry him…then we…we –bursts out in tears-

Remus: -pats Lily on the back- You know he's really not a bad bloke once u get to know him.

Lily: -death glare at Remus-

Remus: -stops patting-

Sirius: -mushy chomping noises-

James had gotten up off the couch and was doing his version of a victory dance. It included a lot of pelvic thrusts and shaking of his ass.

Remus, not knowing what to do with Lily and trying to get the disturbing image of James's pelvic thrusts out of his head, did what he did best. He read.

Remus: but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.

Lilly: -shakes fist and starts to talk to the air- Oh is my son not good enough for you Pet? Hmmm? Well he is 10 times smarter and more handsome than your precious Dudley! Even with James for a father! And he could beat him to a pulp! So take that! Just because I was always smaller than you doesn't mean you are better than me, you blonde horsey twit! –cries into James's shoulder who had come to sit next to her during her little rant-

Well this is new. James thought.

James: You have a lot of pent up rage, huh Lily?

Lily: -nods and wipes nose on James's shirt-

James: -looks at shirt- You planned that didn't you?

Lily: Mmhmm –sits up and sniffles-

Remus: When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country.

Lily: Well obviously strange and mysterious things are soon going to happen. Cloudy skies always mean that. Duh.

James: Says who?

Lily: It's an author trick.

Sirius: -mushy chomping-

Remus: Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked-

James: His nose.

Remus: Can you hum and pick your nose at the same time?

James: -shrugs- Let's make Sirius try it. Padfoot?

Sirius: -sticks finger up nose and tries to hum while still making mushy chomping noises-

James: Sounds like a strangled cow.

Lily: Animal abuser! –points at James-

James: What? What did I do?

Lily: Well first you compared Sirius to a cow, which is a serious insult to cows. Oi, really, no pun intended there. And secondly, the only way you would know what a strangled cow sounds like was if you strangled one! What kind of sick twisted person would do that?

James: Why in the world would I strangle a cow?

Lily: Don't ask me, I'm not the criminal mastermind.

Sirius: -yet more mushy chomping noises-

Remus: Picked out his most boring-

Sirius: BANANA! –mushy bananas fall out of his mouth into Lily's hair-

Lily: What. The. Heck. Just. Fell. On my head?? –touches hair- EW!! Sirius! Is that an ABC banana?! Oh my god disgusting! You are going to pay for that! –pushes Sirius backwards off the couch-

Sirius landed with a sickening-squishy noise? Must be the bananas.

Lily: -starts chucking half-squished bananas at Sirius- You little wanker! BANANAS IN MY HAIR!

Sirius: Actually, BIG wanker, -ducks from a banana- but you don't care at the moment do you –gets hit square in the face with a banana peel- Lily! Stop throwing these damned bananas at me!

James: This might go on for a while.

Remus: Yup.

James and Remus: -settle down to watch-

Author Note: YAY! Here's the rest of chapter 4. You know, sleep is such a waste of time! I had this all written last night by 10, but I couldn't get on the computer to post it because I was supposed to be sleeping! And I also wrote like 6 pages a new fic that just came to me while I was listening to a song last night. That was exciting. That one needs a bit more structure than this one so it won't b up for a while. Do you think there is like un-writers block, because I can't seem to stop getting ideas, seriously! I couldn't get to sleep last night because I kept getting ideas and I just HAD to write them down. After a while I kinda got sick of it and just put my ipod on and tried not to think. It took me 10 songs to fall asleep. Hehe ok yay! Review!

Hugs for everyone!

Mwah♥

Dot