Opening Note: So, the first thing you'll notice is that this is short (chopped in half, world-count wise). That's because it's the fourth chapter and I'm already giving you a filler. But bare with me, folks: this is an important part of Cassandra's character. Last chapter we saw how she is being manipulated. This chapter we take a look at her from forms of manipulation. Keep in mind: she isn't afraid to exploit weaknesses and hit weak spots and work on people's personal morals and we see that here. I take a look deeper into her head and her view of life.

I really like how this turned out, too :)

Honoraries and important notices: I'd like to personally thank my wonderful beta readers, Ninnasims3, and Khalthar; thank you so much, guys!

Things That We Are Not
Chapter 4/Unacknowledged

"What did I tell you about preparation?"

"It's the key to success… and to survival." I answered bluntly, not moving my eyes from a phantom point in space. I kept them locked in place where they were, my back upright and rigid. I pushed my shoulders back the smallest fraction, lengthening my neck as he sat before me in his makeshift chair. My monotone voice carried through the metal walls of the hangar in an echo, enhancing my volume.

"Your first private assignment. It's a notable step in the right direction." Starscream complimented, nodding his approval and I didn't stop the swell of pride ripping through me, causing my chin to arch upwards as I kept my eyes frozen in practiced position. My very first assignment. My very first private assignment. If that wasn't the biggest accomplishment yet to occur in my life, I didn't know what was.

"I have been watching you grow into the brilliant student that you are today, and I take my pride in that. But that credit is not for me. Not today, Cassandra." I forced the corners of my lips downward at his words, as it might just disappear and I wake up. Nevertheless, I'd failed to hear what it was, exactly, that I was supposed to do. "You pride me with your dedication, your devotion to your family. Yours is a rare loyalty, my pet. Had half of my fellow Decepticons been as allegiant, we would have won the war centuries past. And it is only fair that I place the trust in you which you had placed in me."

"What is my first assignment?" I questioned, feeling oddly out of place in his spoken thoughts. I resisted getting up on my toes and rolling back town to my heels, but my fingers curled into fists in discomfort. This was awkward to say the least. He didn't need to praise me.

"Remember, Sparkling, trust is not a matter won, it is built. On the hardships, the struggles, the best of times, and the hurts shared between yourself and another. That, Cassandra, is your first assignment." I bit down on the inside of my cheek, not fully understanding his jest. I knew the rough outline of what is expected of me, to collect intel. But what did trust have to do with any of it?

"Build a trust so powerful that it would compel someone to invite you into their home, and their family." At that, my heart sank to my stomach. I took pride in my achievements. They were great, there was no denying that. But was I that good? Was I capable of wielding a person's heart to my desire, so much so that they would gladly welcome me into their life with open arms? Could I forge such a bond? It was a complicated task and my cards had to be played right, revealed only in times of necessity. This was one challenge I was unsure I was capable of. I wouldn't let difficulty stop me, certainly. On the contrary, it was enticing to me. But there were so many variables beyond my control.

"Family…?" I muttered to myself, my head finally dropping in inch as I contemplated my options and considered the possibilities.

He nodded once in confirmation. "Family."

Two years ago, when Starscream introduced me to my first independent mission, to say I was nervous would be an understatement. I spent hours upon hours in the bathrooms, before mirrors, practicing, reciting, memorizing, creating a whole new person with a life separate from mine. She had to be the perfect girl, with her share of faults and accomplishments, and a bright smile. She had to be innocent, but secretive, keeping a part of her life in the dark to keep them intrigued. I had to learn which cards to place on the table and which words to use for when. For months on end as I was warming my way into this family's heart, I practiced.

I couldn't stop practicing what I would say, what I would do, the way I walked, the way I talked, the kind of dreams and ambitions I would have. I asked myself again and again, what would Brooklyn do and at times, had to wait for minutes ongoing before the answer came. I was hardly able to grasp it in the mist of my mind, always fishing for more, always disappointed with myself for telling the wrong thing or joking about the wrong matter or looking at the wrong things. I would scold myself countless times for my failures and marvel at how easily it came to Alice, who was seemingly more human than I myself.

That was a year before… A year before… I took a deep, shaking breath as I forced my mind to clear. It was nothing.

"No." I stated bluntly to close the subject matter as though it was no longer open for discussion. I shook my head forcefully as I hung it between my locked shoulders. My elbows pressed painfully into my knees as I allowed the entirety of my upper body weight to rest on them, supporting me in the semi upright position. I look more like a question mark, if you ask me, but I had to work the right angle. My feet hung over the pavement as I sat in the back of Ron's minivan, grabbing fistfuls of my hair and pulling at it as I heaved heavily.

"Brook, look if you just let me…" Sam began, but my head shot up at lightning bolt speed, sending a mess of ironed curls in a cloud around me. My hair bounced around my face and shoulders and I forced it out of my field of vision. It blocked out too much.

"No." I hissed, more forcefully this time. Then I gave a poor attempt at a hysterical laugh. "No! No, don't you even think about asking me this, you have no right!" Sam pursed his lips, looking around nervously and he made a calming gesture with his hands.

"Keep it down, Brooks." Miki told me sternly. "National security risk."

"I don't need you to remind me." I spat venomously at her, narrowing my eyes for a better effect. "Neither of you can ask this of me! What do I look like to you, some sort of safety deposit box?" I paused, glancing up and then, "Wait, no, that was a stupid metaphor. Forget I said that. Point is, no!" I hopped off the edge of the trunk, pacing a few feet in either way. "This… it can't be." Brooklyn denied, shaking her head fiercely. "And you can't ask me this, I won't lie for you!" Both teens shushed me exaggeratedly, pressing index fingers to lips hard.

"Brooklyn, please just listen to me." Miki tried, "Please just… just stay calm and let us explain."

"Explain?" I cut in. "Explain that Sam's had an alien shapeshifter living in his garage for the past two years? Explain that you two are involved in some lunatic conspiracy theorist's dream come true? That you're on government funds for everything you spent money on because Nerd, here, and Hot Stuff save the world from impending doom?" I took a deep breath, trying the steady my heart rate as I shot a wary look back at the garage previously mentioned. Behind that makeshift curtain that was made up from a sheet of pool covering was an Autobot. A real life, honest to Primus Autobot, guns and everything! He was right there, behind me… some twenty feet away! And he was having a shooting round not ten minutes ago.

I put my fist to my mouth to bite my knuckles. It wasn't skin that met me, but the black fabric of a wrist brace. My ankle was alright from the fall, just a minor sprain. My wrist, on the other hand… while general undamaged, would need to stay stationary for the next week, lest I hurt it further. Of course I had a nanite shot stashed away at the bottom of my purse, so my wrist could be perfectly fine within five minutes. But a sprained wrist is too petty an injury to waste an entire shot on.

"Look… Sam, the aliens I can understand. I've seen my share of Sci-Fi horror to get acquainted with the idea. Besides... kinda selfish to think that we're the only intellectually advanced species in the universe, if you ask me. But the Government? No. No, that's where I draw the line. I don't want to get involved with the government. I won't listen to them, I won't keep some stupid secret of theirs and I won't lie for them. This is your mess and you deal with it however you want. But keep those army brats away from me, Sam." The guy in question shook his head, opening his mouth to say something. I cut him off before he could utter a sound. "I won't cover for whatever crap they've got going on, Sam. Not again." Miki pursed her lips and Sam tried to reason, stumbling over his words.

"It's no, it's… you aren't gonna… don't think of it as, it isn't…" As he struggled to form a coherent thought, I mused quietly to myself, and Starscream said I have trouble stringing together a complete sentence. This kid's hopeless.

"I am not going to lie for them! I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and learned the wrong thing, it's ruined my life once, Sam, and I won't let it do that again. I'm not going to cover for the government while they clean up this mess!" I all but shouted, my voice and tone rising simultaneously. Brooklyn was becoming hysterical again I hitched my breath in random places for a better effect.

"Brooklyn, you have to relax, you'll be okay," Miki tried to assure me, her own voice as uncertain of her words as her face.

"No, Miki, I'm not. I am far from being 'okay'. Far from it. I'm miles from 'okay', leagues from being anything that so much as resembles 'okay'!" My hands came up to tangle in my long, curled bangs and I heaved again, an exasperated groan deep in my throat. "I'm… oh my God. I mean… life!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up to the sky in vague gesture. "Out there! Shape shifters and stuff and you own one!" I said it more in blame than praise. "How could you own one? How could you let the government drag you into this, its wrong and immoral and just… it's messed up, Sam! It's sick!"

"Shush! Global security!" She reminded me in a hushed shout. "Look, I know that you're upset that we didn't tell you…"

"I'm not upset that you didn't tell me." I corrected her, shoving her hands off me. "I'm glad to hell that you didn't drag me into his any sooner. And I'm not angry, either, I'm disgusted that you let these people pull you into all of these secrets and lies. I'm furious that they thought it to be a good idea to let you two to be in danger like this!"

Miki and Sam looked at me for a long moment, contemplating on my words. I knew I sold the act pretty well, which my distress and freaking out. It was very… close to home, one might say, the secrets and the conspiracies. So I figured might as well put in some of Brooklyn's background into things and stress over the deal with the government. It would hit them in a soft spot.

"This is about your parents." Miki said softly as she realized what I was gunning for. "Isn't it?" In two seconds, my angry face dropped to hollow and emotionless as I stared off, past her into the distance as though remembering a particular unpleasant memory. Sam was from a united family where everyone valued everyone and Miki lost her mother when she was four, to a mugger with a gun. So I made up a back story that would hit them all where it hurt. Except that Brooklyn's life story was a little more complex than that.

When my head snapped to her, I was furious. I took a single stride to her and grabbed her shoulders, shoving her back against the side of the minivan. "Don't you ever" I hissed through my teeth, "mention my parents again. You have no right!" For a moment, Miki looked genuinely scared, but I wasn't sure if it were for herself or for Brooklyn and her violent side. I pushed away from her in the struggle to hold back surfacing tears. None of them know the full story, of course. I cried rivers when I tried to tell them about Brooklyn's tragic past. But they did know that Brooklyn lost her family in a horrible turn of events. Miki gave me the most sympathetic, concerned look in history, her eyes round and filled with compassion and pain of loss when I let her go and covered my mouth with my hands. Internally, I smirked at how she felt for making Brooklyn feel bad. I was enjoying this a little too much.

'I'm… sorry." she finally said after a long moment. "I shouldn't have…"

"No." I interrupted, looking at her kindly. "I'm the one who should apologize. I was out of line. I shouldn't have attacked you like that. I'm just… I'm on edge, unnerved and really pissed at the lot of you and them, and everyone because this is all too fucking confusing and I'm trying to figure this all out by myself, but I can't just deal with all of it! I can't go home and pretend none of this happened and pretend that I still don't know for a fact that there are other things out there." I jabbed a finger to the sky. "Because I've seen it and I can't un-see and it's just driving me nuts!" Brooklyn took two fistfuls of my hair again, inhaling deeply in a failing attempt to calm herself.

"I can't… I'm not going to lie anymore for anyone just because they can't keep their new pets on a tight leash. They ruined my life once and I couldn't do anything but let them for years now. I don't want them to control my life again." Now Brooklyn was becoming hysterical, teardrops oozing from her eyes like small jewels. Starscream would be so proud of me, of my performance, of my wit. How willing these people were to give me their most sincere sympathies and compassion, how eager they were to welcome me into their home with open arms, how warmly they trusted me. All because if Brooklyn. Oh, this girl was a masterpiece of its own.

Sam said that it would all be okay, that I just needed some things settled with a load of papers that say, in many clever ways, that should I speak a word of what I had seen today, I would find myself in jail. And then I was free to go. I shook my head fiercely in denial.

"No… no, I won't be. I can't… I've made a life here!" Brooklyn cried, tears now streaking down her cheeks. "That poor interpretation of Men in Black will tag me like an animal and have someone spying on my every minute of my life until they're sure I won't compromise them in any way, shape or form. I'm nineteen, Sam, not an idiot. I know how this ends!" He opened his mouth to speak but I held up my hand in his face, ducking my head to hide behind it like a curtain. "No, Sam. Just… just go. Leave me alone." If there was anything I knew about manipulating people, it was that they were a lot more open and acceptation of you if you pushed them away. So the only way to be really let into the loop now was to stay away from it with a passion. This was going to be fun.

In the fifteen minutes it took for my minor injuries to be tended to, and Sam to explain everything to me, my adrenaline shot up through the roof and I was still coming off the high. I was energized. I felt like I could do anything but as soon as Sam was called by his parents, I lost my ability to stand. Miki came over to support me, helping me sit down on the curb, still in her white dress. She came just after Sam's pet Autobot crawled back into its garage, stripping off her biking gear to reveal a beautiful white dress. She planned to use it to get Sam to say the 'L' word to her. Sadly, those plans didn't work out quite as she planned.

I waved her off, telling her that I was alright to be left on my own and after assuring her that I wouldn't run, l let her go off to say goodbye to her boyfriend. As I watched them pull away from the curb, a sharp stab of pain erupted in my gut. I gulped. What was I doing? He was my friend, my confidant, my ally. My dorky sidekick, my grip on the human world and whatever is left of my own humanity. He reminded me what it meant to be human and that, sometimes, you didn't need a grand purpose in the universe to be happy. All you needed was a cold beer and a good car and for a minute, life could be simple.

I suppose that's what made me consider him for an honest friend to begin with, how human he actually is, how untainted by the horrible things that life has in store for so many people. He was awkward and stuttered when he was afraid or embarrassed and he babbled on and on to no end when he was nervous. He was a little on the nerdy side, complete with Pokémon cards and Batman posters while he had the hottest girl in town for a girlfriend, his flirting skills were on the floor. He wasn't athletic, didn't like sports all that much, and had owned an infuriatingly small dog that didn't know when to shut up.

And somehow, he was my friend. With all his weirdness and occasional dumbness. He was certainly not someone I'd want the gals back in school to find out about, but I guess that with all of his freak attacks and nonstop word vomit and love for Mario, he was more human than any of them.

And that's what felt like a rusty knife wedged in my stomach. I'd never met anyone more normal, anyone who didn't wear a mask to hide his true face. He was unpleasant to be around at times and made me go red in the face with some of his words and actions, but he was good. And even my moral bar drew the line. Killing him wasn't justice, it was murder. But it had to be done if my family was to survive. I had to sacrifice a good person who might have one day, in another life, been my close friend for the good of those I loved and it was a fair trade. At least I hoped so.

'He is no fiend of yours, you incompetent fool. He is a friend to Brooklyn, a girl who lost her family, a girl who was a bad liar, a girl how could not do a half decent cartwheel, a girl who is worthless in every way, shape and form. A disposable, pointless girl who only exists for the sole purpose of retrieving information from the enemy.'

'That's not true. He's my friend. And until he moves away and goes on with his life, he will keep being my friend.'

'Only because you made him. Do you think he would still want you in his life if he knew what you are about to do? Do you think he wouldn't turn you in without a trace of regret? What are you, stupid? How can he be your friend if he does not even know you?'

'So he won't find out. He will die knowing that he has a good friend named Brooklyn.'

'Are you really so ignorant or just naturally blonde? They will tell him everything that you did before he dies, out of spite. They will tell him all of your secrets and he will die in pain, knowing that you betrayed his trust in you. He will hate you 'till his last breath and you will have to smile and pretend that you get a thrill out of it like some sick, disgusting excuse for a human being. You will put on a good mask and tell yourself that you will forget him in a month's time. But you will not and this memory will haunt you forever.'

'Stop talking like it's up to me! I can't control what happens, I just watch.'

'Yes, you watch your friends get hurt. What a good friend you are, letting him walk into his own death. Is that why you pushed him away earlier? It was, was it not? You knew you wouldn't see him alive and in one peace again. Deny it if you will, but it's killing you. It is burning you from the inside like an angry furnace, your friend marching to his death and you know that the only way to save yourself is distance yourself from him. You do not want his slaughter to hurt you. You cannot run from this, Cassandra. It will always be here, it will always be looking you in the face and telling you just how much you have lost. It will never let you go.'

"SHUT UP!" I bellowed in sudden aggravation, slapping my hands over my ears with a force great enough to make the world churn in waves like a Merry-Go-Round.

'It isn't my damn fault that he shoved that stupid AllSpark into Megatron's chest and killed him! I wasn't there and I didn't tell him to do it. He signed his own death sentence and now it's time to collect. It isn't up to me!'

'No, but you can go to him right now and tell him not to go. You can save him. You know how to disappear, you can do it. So why do you not? Why do you not walk to him and deliver a good blow to the back of his head, put him in a car and drive away?'

'You know damn well why!'

'So he deserves everything coming his way? They will fillet him, cut off everything that sticks out, electrocute, drown, burn, and break him and when he is begging for a swift death, they will leave him on the street to die. Maybe they will even let you watch.'

"I said SHUT UP!" That one was a head turner and Miki was on me on seconds, shaking me to my senses, asking me if I was okay. I had a good excuse for my unprovoked outburst and when she helped me to my feet, I let her take me to my car an instruct me to follow her. As I walked across that sunbathed pavement, it burned my bare feet. I left my shoes in Sam's room when it was blown to bits. Miki and I had a similar shoes size. I'd take a pair of her shoes when we got to her place. While she kept her father's garage, the government upgraded her living arrangement to an uptown, two story house much like Sam's. And since her father was fresh out of prison and spent most of his time picking up pieces of their broken relationship in the garage and fixing financial inconveniences, she was alone in the house most nights.

They bonded over something they both loved doing and I was happy for her. Plus after Sam had the government scrap Miki's own criminal record, the Witwicky family got a full discount of any car work they needed. It was a pretty good deal. But of course he was unaware of that Miki's boyfriend's car was a hostile alien shapeshifter.

I roughly punched in the coordinates to Miki's place and the car pulled from the curb just as Miki passed me on her bike. I heaved deeply, tightening my grip on the leather of the steering wheel. I was determined to not let any of this affect me, playing Starscream's words in my head over and over again until my heart beat steadied to resting pulse.

"Build a trust so powerful that it would compel someone to invite you into their home, and their family."

I did it. I made them want me in, want to help me, feel bad about my undisclosed past. I made them feel for me. I made them support me, care about what I thought and what I said, give me anything I wanted. I made them open their front doors for me, I held their children and fed their dogs and took care of their homes and offices if they had to take a short leave and snooped around their rooms and made myself at home. I made them trust me, but not enough to make them tell me the biggest secret of all: the secret of the Autobots. That was what made me so disappointed in myself. I didn't make them trust me enough. Their homes, their lives, their families, their secrets, yes, that they gave me. But they didn't give me the thing I wanted most, the thing I needed most. They didn't give me a clear pass. I had to be very careful. I had to look over my shoulder ever single moment and remember that we were never truly alone.

I had to keep up a good face and sneak behind their backs to bust up security systems and sabotage files and leak information. I had to be incredibly cautious about my every move, every word, and every thought. All because I couldn't do the one job that I was in charge of. And now I was moping round about a guy I should forget as soon as I get back to my penthouse loft in Los Angeles or my house in Florida. I was feeling not only sorry for him, but knew deep down that I would miss him once he was gone. I didn't feel right about doing any of this and I wasn't going to deny it to myself that it frightened me. I shouldn't be feeling like that. I should be indifferent. I should turn a blind eye to him as soon as he was out of my immediate field of vision.

So… why couldn't I?

I covered my face with my hands and tried to breathe slowly, calmly as my heart sped up again. This wasn't working. I couldn't concentrate on the mission because of some stupid kid with stupid dreams and stupid little flaws that made him more real than any other person I had ever spoken to. All because he didn't have to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else for the public eye. He wore his soul on his sleeves and it was killing me how much I respected that.

Why couldn't he be just another idiot jock football player whose world was limited to the game and a girl's boobs? Why did he have to be so… intolerable and annoying?!

"I hate you!" I shouted to the car in frustration, slapping the steering wheel with a greater force. My hand came up in blistering pain from the impact. Why couldn't he be like any other person on the street, selfish and arrogant and always someone else under the goody two shoes mask of the perfect citizen that helped old ladies cross the street? Why couldn't he be someone else, someone less infuriatingly irritating?

"Why did you have to be so… argh, so innocent?! I hate you!"

Starscream was right about there being a great danger to this assignment. He was right all along and I didn't understand what could possibly be so dangerous about a stupid nineteen year old kid until now. He was easy to get attached to and if you got too attached to something, it then held power over you: the power to hurt you.

Closing Note: So, there you have it. I really like it, and I want you tell me if you did, too.

Now, being the irresponsible dork that I am, I forgot to replay to reviews last chapter, so I'll do it this chapter, instead:

Shadestriker27: second compliment over my intro… I feel so happy! It gave me a headache, to be honest, but considering the final result, it was all worth it. Thank you!

Khalthar: yes, I like this way better as well. I didn't FEEL the last version, and Cassandra was a too two-dimensional. So I went back and tried to improve. I hope I did.

Galaxypa: Thanx :P

SilverZelenia: yes, there are a few fics here and there about this sort of thing, and while it's a rare breed, I was going for originality in my own right. I just didn't realize how bad she had it till my beta pointed it out. Then I realized how true that was, and I loved it. I mean the Decepticons are practically her religion and taking that away will have some tragic outcomes. Shall we see what they are?

Pikahopp: Yes, I thought it was pretty cleaver… it wasn't cleaver… but whatever: it was funny and that's all the counts! Thank you for the compliments and EEEEEEEEEPP! Third compliment about my intro! Thank yyyyoooouuu! I'm sitting here and giggling like a little girl because I'm so proud! Anyway, I hope to hear from you this chapter as well!

So what do you say? Good? Bad? Tell me, help me improve. Be the change!