Disclaimer-- I do not own Star Trek, The Princess Bride, or The Mummy. Just so you know.

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Kirk shows his contrary side. "We're not going anywhere!"

//The Law is the Law.// RIGHT intones redundantly.

LEFT Lawgiver sneers (or, we assume he sneers, under the hood you can't really tell) and mutters to himself.

Kirk squares his shoulders. "I said...we're...not going...anywhere," he repeats firmly.

Spock does a double eyebrow. It seems he likes butch Kirk.

The Lawgivers turn to each other and stare into their hoods. This excludes Hacom the Fop, because he's so short they can look right over his head. To make up for his lack of height, the Fop glares fiercely at Kirk.

After a moment, Kirk smirks that he's outwitted the Lawgivers, who are still there gazing at each other from behind their bonnet-like hoods.

Reger watches in alarm, worried that they will turn and do their dreaded rendition of 'We are Siamese if You Please'.

Redshirt #368 wanders over to the window behind Kirk and sees that it is bricked up. He calls over his cohort. "Do you think something's shifted in the Matrix?"

Back in the main scene, Spock walks in front of Kirk. Everyone suddenly notices that Spock is wearing khaki pants, where the day before they were black. They also notice that Kirk's pants have overnight darkened in color. A lot.

Spock, seeing the turn in attention, retreats to the corner to practice his sign language under his cape. \S-P-O-C-K,\ he finger spells. \ MY NAME IS S-P-O-C-K. S-P-O-C-K I AM. I DO NOT EAT GREEN EGGS AND HAM, I DO NOT LIKE THEM S-P-O-C-K I AM.\

"Clearly they are not equipped to answer our questions. I surmise that they are part of a Dread Pirate Roberts convention here in town, a lesser-known affiliate of the Princess Bride fangroups." S-P-O-- er, Spock, states to Kirk, just to make him stop smirking at the unmoving Lawgivers.

McCoy raises an eyebrow and shrugs at Reger's puzzled glance.

"Everything we've seen here so far...seems to indicate some sort...of compulsive, involuntary stimulus to action," Kirk says into his close-up.

The shot changes to Spock, who is open-mouthed in shock that Kirk not only managed to say that while sounding like he knew what he was saying, but with only two overly-long pauses!

The Reds in the background break into applause.

At this touching moment, the bonnet-wearing Lawgivers turn towards them. RIGHT says in his echoing voice //It is clear that you simply did not understand. We will rephrase.//

Kirk looks both miffed and impressed. I wonder... if I get one of those capes will it make my voice sound all cool and echoey? He glances over at Spock's cape thoughtfully.

//You will come with us to the Absorption chamber.//

Kirk steps forward dramatically, making sure to stop in time to keep all of his swollen head in the shot. "Why did you kill that guy, anyway? That's just rude, man."

//You will obey!// states RIGHT in his obnoxious, demanding way.

Left rolls his eyes and thumps his stick on the ground. //Why don't you ever let me have a turn?// he complains. //You always get the fun jobs!//

The Lawgiver on the RIGHT tries to poke Kirk with his large stick, but Kirk shoves it aside.

Spock raises an eyebrow.

Kirk snatches the huge stick from RIGHT and hands it back to Spock.

Spock raises his other eyebrow. "Captain, I believe we spoke about this last night. I am simply not into this sort of–"

Kirk shushes him, then turns back to Lawgiver RIGHT, who is now stick-less.

LEFT smirks. //Who's the stick-boy now, smarty?//

//YOU CANNOT!// cries RIGHT, his intoning voice suddenly quite a bit higher.

Spock sighs and sets to examining the stick.

There is a whirring sound and the Lawgivers turn to face out the door, nearly knocking over the Fop.

//IT IS LANDRU.//

The Fop turns. "Landru? Where? I simply must get his autograph!" he runs out the door in search of the most famous name on the planet.

Spock looks the big stick head-on, which seems to be a singularly stupid and illogical thing to do, considering it just killed the other guy. "Fascinating, Captain. It seems to be a Buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff. And it is hollow, no mechanism."

Kirk turns to him in disbelief. "Well, duh!"

The Lawgivers freeze and emit a tricorder-like sound.

"They're communing! Let's go!" Reger shoves McCoy out the door and pulls Kirk behind him.

"Where?" Kirk asks, not protesting in the least at the view.

"To a place I know, where we will be safe. But we must hurry!"

They file out and Spock grabs his tea-towel from off his shoulder! (Kirk must have felt bad and returned it while Spock wasn't looking. Poor Little Kirk.)

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The party follows Reger's lead, walking slowly once they enter the streets and pasting 'vacant and content' looks on their faces.

Kirk, however, absolutely refuses to do that, and settles for 'mindlessness', which isn't very difficult.

They run into the creepy man with the top hat from before, whose name is apparently 'Bilar'.

"Let's hurry!" Reger urges. They all continue walking at a sedate pace.

Suddenly, all of the townspeople stop. (Except for one guy by the window, who was half a step behind.)

Kirk looks around. Everyone has frozen and is staring at him. "Are we playing 'Red Light, Green Light'?" he whispers.

"No," Reger says hoarsely. "It's Landru. He's summoning the Body."

"But I'm right here!" Kirk exclaims in a whisper.

"Telepathy, Captain," Spock whispers, as all the townspeople bend down and pick up large, heavy objects suitable for bludgeoning. (And not a Quaffle in sight!)

Doctor McCoy exchanges a look with Red #368 that clearly says "You're dead, Red."

The crew does a girly run around a corner as the possessed people start advancing. Of course, Reger takes them down a dark alley, from which more zombie townies are advancing.

"Phasers on stun!" Kirk calls, itching for the chance to shoot somebody.

They all set their phasers and fire, except McCoy, who just pretends. \gasp!\ Has he already been converted? But how? Was it Reger, in the Bathhouse, with a candlestick?

They shoot several people, then run over the bodies. McCoy stops suddenly. "Lieutenant O'Neil! He's one of our men!" He kneels by the body. "He's not dead, Jim!"

"Jim, we have to hurry!" urges Spock. "Can't you hear what the mob is saying?"

They all pause to listen.

From around the corner, there comes a faint chanting of "Imhotep...Imhotep..."

Kirk shudders. Then, despite Reger's protests, he orders the Redshirts to bring O'Neil along, sensing the chance for some frat-boy fun.

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A/N-- So, here's the new chapter. This one was a lot of fun, again with a lot of running commentary by my dad. thanks dad! Here for your enjoyment (and Reviewing!!) is my little sister's poetry assignment for the week, which was directly inspired by this chapter. Reviewers get Woopie Pies!! Ahh, the joys of a little slash-writer in the making... (she still has three years until she can join the site, much to her dismay, so I know she'd love it if people mentioned her poem...)

A Poem by Spock

Spock I am,

I don't eat green eggs and ham,

So what do I eat?

Little red and green blocks maybe?

Well, I'll tell you,

Who I plan to woo,

None other than,

(Ta Da!)

The spoiled captain!

Yes, he is rather illogically spoiled,

But HE doesn't know,

That Scottie's plan to kidnap him has been foiled,

And now my ropes around Kirk are more tightly coiled,

So, Jim dear, leave a Lieutenant in control of your pretty grey vessel,

And come into my room so we can wrestle!

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Mwa ha ha...