AN/ Hi sorry for the delay. School's being a total bitch what with AP's and college apps and such. Anyways, here's an extra long chapter in exchange for the wait.
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Nick sat in English class, nervously tapping his pen against his desk. "Mister Duval," the professor exclaimed, "Is there any reason why you continue to make that infernal tapping noise?"
The class tittered lightly. "Uh, no, sorry sir," Nick replied, dropping the pen with a clatter and burying himself in his copy of Pride and Prejudice. When he looked back up, he was glad to find that his professor had stopped glaring at him and returned to lecturing. Nick struggled in English; he didn't need another reason for his professor to hate him. Sighing softly, Nick slipped his phone out of his pocket. He needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand. He needed Blaine.
Nick: Blaine Warbler! How you doing?
Blaine: Just writing out invitations. It's extremely tedious and boring. How's it going?
Nick: Couldn't you just buy 'em? It'd be a lot cheaper. Eh. Not sure really.
Blaine: Kurt wants everything to be personal and handmade. Is something up? You wanna talk?
Nick leaned back in his chair and sighed. Was something wrong? He hesitated before typing a reply.
Nick: Haha yeah, that sounds like Kurt. Hey, can I ask you something personal?
Blaine: Sure man, shoot!
Nick: Er it's kinda awkward but, how did you know that you were…yeah.
Blaine: He's lucky I love him ;) knew that I was gay?
Nick: Yeah. How'd you know?
Blaine: It's hard to explain. I just sort of always knew. Well, except for that one time with Rachel...ugh idk what I was thinking.
Nick: Oh okay. Wait that Berry chick? You guys dated or something?
Blaine: What? I never told you? We got drunk and kissed. We went on a date, kissed again, and I told that yeah, I was one hundred percent gay. There was no- this is gonna sound so cliché- but there was no spark. A girl never made the butterflies swirl around in my stomach like Kurt does, and I never really thought about them in that way.
Blaine leaned back in his chair, tapping his chin thoughtfully, before he added one final sentence and hit send. Why do you ask anyways? He ran his hand through his hair, then suddenly straightened. Jeff, his brain told him. Jeff was going to tell Nick. Slowly, a smile spread across Blaine's face. Jeff had told Nick, and now Nick maybe liked him back. He grinned, laughing excitedly, before remembering that Nick hadn't actually said anything of the sort. No jumping to conclusions, Blaine, he chastised himself. He was so deep in thought that he nearly missed the buzz of his phone.
Nick: HAHAHAHA dude that's hilarious. Oh. Uh. No reason really. Just wondering.
Blaine frowned. Three years later, and the brunette was still as stubborn as ever. Perhaps he'd need a bit of encouragement. After all, it couldn't be easy to realize that after twenty you were in love with your best friend. Again, jumping to conclusions, the little voice in Blaine's head sang. "Oh shut up," he replied, blushing slightly when he realized he'd said it out loud.
Blaine: I was seventeen, gimme a break. On the plus side, I was so drunk I had to spend the night at Kurt's. I don't mean to be a pest, but are you questioning your sexuality, Nick?
Nick froze slightly. Had he really been that obvious?
Nick: Excuses, excuses. Blaine Warbler, drunk? No way, no way. Wait what? No no, I was just wondering, y'know?
Blaine: It was a learning experience, that's for sure. Uh, if you say so. Nick, if you are its totally cool. There's nothing wrong with being curious.
Nick: I dunno. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but still. I mean, can you just wake up one day and see someone in a totally different light? And think of them like that? No matter how long you've known them?
Blaine grinned. Now they were getting somewhere.
Blaine: sure! That's kind of how I was with Kurt. I saw him as my friend for the longest time. When he sang Blackbird? That was the moment for me. After that, I knew that I needed to be with him, that I was in love.
Nick: Yeah, but what if you thought you were straight all your life? And never looked at a guy that way? And then, suddenly, they're just there.
Blaine: Have you ever been with a girl before?
Nick: Well not exactly, but I've gone on dates.
Blaine: well...you don't need to label yourself. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. My advice is that if you think you could fall in love with this person...go for it. Love is an amazing thing, it's all that matters. I can't tell you how you feel or what to feel or how to figure this out.
Nick frowned, laying his head on his desk, ignoring the curious stares of his classmates. Blaine made it sound all so simple, when it was really anything but that.
Nick: But I've been friends with him forever. And he pretty much just came out of the closet. I don't want him to think I'm just joking around with him or something, plus, what if he doesn't feel the same way? I don't want to lose his friendship.
Blaine Chesire-cat smile widened even more. Yes, Jeff had told Nick, and yes, Nick definitely liked the blonde back. He suppressed the desire to tell Nick that he was crazy and of course Jeff liked him back, instead approaching the subject in a much more subtle manner.
Blaine: Is it Jeff?
Alright, maybe it was just a tad obvious. But then again, the man had never been one for subtlety. Blaine wriggled in his seat, excited for the reply. Nick, on the other hand, was sweating bullets and wishing desperately that class would end. As if hearing his thoughts, his professor dismissed them, sending an especially dismal frown in Nick's direction. The brunette, however, ignored it, quickly shoving his things into his bag and running from the classroom, his phone in hand. When he finally decided he was far enough away, he collapsed underneath a tree, panting slightly.
Nick: What? No! No! It's not! Why, why would you think that?
Blaine: Because he's been your friend for years and he came out to me over the phone the other day. Your last text gave it all away, Nick.
Nick: I have more friends than just Jeff! Wait he did? Oh. Weird. He said he did, but I thought… I kinda assumed he would've told me first. And it's not him, okay? We're friends. Nothing more.
Nick pulled his knees up to his chest; he'd been nursing the small hope that Jeff wasn't been serious about telling Blaine first. Apparently, he had been.
Blaine: Don't take it personally. He just needed some advice. And that's a shame.
Nick: That's true I guess, but still. I'm his best friend and he's mine. It's like he doesn't trust me. A shame? Eh, it doesn't matter anyways. He's not into me like that.
Blaine sighed, able to hear the hurt in the boy's words. Jefflikes you! He wanted to scream. He's crazy about you but he thinks you're straight and he doesn't want to lose you! "He's not into me like that." Nick had said. Was it Blaine's imagination, or did Nick sound disappointed?
Blaine: There's a reason he didn't go to you first and it's not because he doesn't trust you.
Nick: Well what then? We tell each other everything. I go to him first, and he goes to me. That's how it's always been.
Blaine: I don't think I should be the one to tell you...
Nick: Blaine, you can't just tell me there's a reason, and then not tell me what it is!
Frustrated, Nick threw his phone onto the grass beside him, burying his face in his arms. "That god damn hobbit," he fumed, "just because he's getting married he thinks he knows everything about relationships." Nick blushed, quickly backtracking. "Not that Jeff and I are in a relationship. We're friends…just friends…" He insisted, unsure who he was trying to convince.
Blaine: I really want to tell you, I do…I just don't want Jeff to get upset with me...
Nick: Well he'd probably tell me anyways, so what does it matter?
Blaine could practically hear Nick yelling, getting angry at him, and for what? Keeping a promise? Exasperated, he tapped out a reply, a sense of satisfaction washing over him. About twenty seconds later, however, he felt nothing but regret. Fuck. Jeff was gonna kill him.
Blaine: Nick! Put two and two together! He likes you!
Nick's heart fluttered as he read Blaine's text. Did Jeff really-? Does he-?
Nick: What? No, he would've said something. He would've told me...
Blaine sighed in relief; the brunette didn't believe him. He hastily replied, his fingers flying over the keys.
Blaine: You know what, you're right.
Nick: About what?
Blaine: He would tell you. You should talk to him.
Nick: So you lied before? What the hell, man? Why would you do something like that?
Nick choked back a sob, feeling his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. "I don't like him that way," he whispered to himself, "Honest." The ache in his chest said otherwise.
Blaine: Nick! Oh my god. Just forget I said anything.
Nick: I know you're stressed for the wedding and all, but that's no reason to mess with me, okay?
Blaine: I...you know what? You're right. I'm sorry. Forgive me?
Nick: ugh. You can be a real jerk sometimes Blaine.
Blaine: I know.
Nick: Then why'd you do it?
Blaine: Can we drop it?
Nick frowned at the other boy's response. Did he really expect him to just forget about it? Especially after Blaine'd lied to him?
Nick: Not really.
Blaine: why do you care so much, huh?
Nick: What! I don't okay!
Blaine: obviously you do. You're getting kinda defensive, Nick. That's a sure sign that you care.
Nick: Look, can we just drop it?
Blaine grinned slightly. Now they were getting somewhere.
Blaine: okay...let's rewind and just talk and be honest. Nick, do you have romantic feelings for Jeff? I promise I won't be an ass and tell him anything.
Nick: I-I don't know. He paused and looked up, before smiling slightly. I mean, he's one of the awesomest guys I know and I'd do anything to see him smile, and I just feel safe around him, y'know? It's like, no matter what he's gonna be there for me, and I don't know what I'd do without him.
Blaine: I know how you feel. That's how I feel about Kurt.
Nick: but but I'm not- Jeff's my- we're just-
Blaine: just?
Nick: He doesn't like me. He would've said something. and maybe- He paused looking up. Did he really-? He bit his lip, chewing on it slowly, turning the words over in his mind, before he typed out his reply. And maybe I do like him but I can't tell him, and you gotta promise you won't say anything. Promise me, Blaine. On Kurt's closet.
Blaine: I swear on his closet and my piano. I won't say anything. You need to.
Nick: He doesn't like me, Blaine! I know you use a lot of gel, but will you just get that through your skull? I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment, alright?
Blaine: hey! First of all, I've lightened up on the gel. Second of all, you need to be more confident in yourself.
Nick let out a dry laugh. "Yes Blaine, telling a kid whose self esteem is so shattered that he can barely stand to look at himself in the mirror that he needs to be 'more confident' is definitely going to help." He shook his head.
Nick: Oh c'mon man, gel's practically your best friend. I bet you still spend more time with it than you do with Kurt. Eh. Why should I? Jeff is...Jeff. I mean, seriously. He's skinny but he's really athletic and a lot stronger than he looks, mostly from all the hockey and running he does. And his hair is this golden brown color and it's all soft and smells like apples and when he smiles it's just like nothing can go wrong in the world. As for me, I'm...I dunno, good at basketball, sorta.
Blaine shook his head. Why was Nick being so negative? Clearly he and Jeff were meant to be together, sorta like him and Kurt. He looked down at the unfinished stack of invitations.
Blaine: actually Kurt loves my curly hair so less gel means more "time" with Kurt if you get my drift. Anyways, you have it really bad for him. Jeff is a great guy,so are you. You're handsome, talented, and very kind. You have tons of great qualities, have some confidence in them.
Nick: You talking about your amazing relationship with Kurt isn't really helping me right now. and I'll be fine. I'll just suck it up and forget about it. Maybe this feeling'll go away.
Blaine: you could have an amazing relationship too if you'd just be a man and talk to Jeff! Damn.
Nick: Seriously? You're telling ME to be a man? It took you how long to finally ask Kurt out? Us Warblers were taking bets Blaine. Bets.
Blaine sighed. Okay, so maybe he had been a bit out of it in regards to Kurt, but they'd gotten together in the end, and that's all that mattered, right?
Blaine: Well I...I had a crush on the guy from the gap and then...okay, you're right. I was totally oblivious. Do you really want to make the same mistake as me? Or worse, not even do anything?
Nick: You were. And it's not a mistake if he doesn't feel the same way, okay? I mean, I haven't even told anyone that I might like guys. Hell, I'm not even sure if I do! What am I supposed to say "Oh, hey Jeff. I can't stop thinking about you, but I'm not sure if I'm gay or not, and even though you're as amazing as fuck and I don't have a chance, do you wanna go out sometime?" Yeah Blaine, I'm sure that'd go over reeeal well.
Blaine: Forget about the label! Nick, obviously you're really into him, who cares about the rest? Just...be open to the possibilities. Maybe I'm pushing the whole "tell him" thing down your throat...just do what you feel comfortable with. I don't know.
Nick: He just deserves someone so much better. It's probably better if he doesn't know. But thanks.
Blaine actually thought he could feel his heart breaking as he read and re-read Nick's latest text. Had the brunette always been so self-deprecating, or…? He frowned softly, wishing he could hug the younger boy.
Blaine: Better than his best friend? Come on now.
Nick: He needs someone who's actually sure of what they want. I'm kinda fucked up right now.
Blaine: Wouldn't it hurt you to see him with somebody else?
Nick: Of course, but at least he'd be happy.
Blaine: Just promise me something? If Jeff...wants to talk, listen? Be open?
Nick looked at Blaine's reply and dropped his phone in his pocket. He stood up slowly before heading off towards his dorm, his mind overrun with a million and a half thoughts. Screw you Blaine Anderson, was the most prominent.