Here's chapter 4 everybody! Also, I did get a tumblr. The url is nooksnifferasshatterson . tumblr
And buckets to you too, Tokuni Namonaihito.
Baloe, I would love some help on how it could be better. (I do know about the stupid typos… I think that's my old, stinky laptop's fault…)
So, for the sake of this story, I'm going to call AU and say that the things that are making John's room totally different than John's cannon room are because of that. Thank you and enjoy.
And with... well everything...
D:
EDIT: This is an updated version of this story. The original can be found on my tumblr (That is with spelling/grammar/typos left in!)
EDIT: A lovely guest reviewer told me that I put John's chum handle thing as EG a few times. Fixed it. Thank you mystery guest reviewer!
ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead
EB: shit! dave! dave!
TG: i know dude
EB: they showed up on my computer!
TG: yeah
TG: that happened to me too
EB: what? really? AHH!
EB: daveee!
EB: what do we do!
TG: well i dont think we should go and try to stop them
TG: if we want to live
TG: i guess
EB: how can you be calm through this!
EB: dave, I don't wanna die!
TG: neither do i bro
TG: so we dont do the thing that will kill us
EB: okay, then. okay.
EB: alright, I just need to calm down and not think about this.
EB: can we meet up? later? and talk about this?
TG: yeah
TG: where
EB: uh… here? I guess. dont tell rose and jade, okay? I don't wanna freak them out.
TG: okay
TG: be there soon
EB: bye.
ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead
I close your eyes and sigh. What the actual fuck was going on? So first, I discover superpowers. Then, shit got real? Or did shit get real when I discovered that I had superpowers? Fuck it, shit was real now and that's what mattered. So these guys that dressed up like… weird horny grey people start terrorizing the pace and they are… working with the Midnight Crew? Or they're a part of the midnight crew? Was the card just a coincidence? Are they even part of the midnight crew?
Suddenly my window starts rattling and I back the fuck into your wall. Where was dad? He had some kid of magical power, too, right? He's gonna save you, right?
The windows open and grey hands part my drapes and I begin to hyperventilate or something. They are going to kill me. These weird demon grey people things are going to murder me and I am going to be dead and oh god oh god oh god. I get all light headed and hit the ground with a thud.
Be future John Egbert
I am now future John Egbert and I am waking up with a huge headache. I am lying on my bed, which is strange, because I remember being on my computer last. I pat around on my nightstand to try and find my glasses, but instead I feel something that seems remarkably similar to a hand.
I look up and see blurry greyness surrounded by a mess of black.
"Welcome back Mr. Egbert."
"Oh goood, is the John human awake? That didn't take as long as I thought." Both voices are female.
I look around the room, in a dreamlike state, confused and incredibly drowsy. There was another grey and black shape sitting at my computer. There was red about that one, too. I reach for my glasses again but they're still not there.
The messy grey-blackness holds out something and I take it, dumbfounded. They're my glasses. I slide them on and see grey skinned girls with black hair and candy-corn horns. Just like the kids that want to kill me.
I start to feel lightheaded.
"Oh no, please don't do that falling thing again. We need to speak before the Strider human gets here." The one speaking has green lipstick on and short hair. Her voice is very clear and concise. She vaguely reminds you of Rose. The other girl has bright red glasses on and a long… stick… Like, for blind people.
I swallow hard, but remain silent, "Those boys that were in the video… They are—"
"Yo, bro, you up there?"
Both girls tense up.
"We have no time!" Whispered the second girl.
"I know that. We must go now, John Egbert, but hopefully we will return. We must talk of these things." They jumped out my window and left me completely confused laying in my bed.
Dave walks in, cool as ever. He seems completely unfazed by the threat made by the freaky grey kids, and there I am, shaking in my bed. Seriously, my stomach is so ill at ease, I might just throw up. But Dave is here, so I can't do that.
I stumble out of my bed, fall into Dave's arms and, without warning, start sobbing into his shirt.
"Bro?" Dave doesn't know how to react, he thinks maybe petting my head might help, but it doesn't. It's awkward and it doesn't help my headache. But I wouldn't tell him that.
"Dave they were-sob-here! In my-sob-room!" I wrap my arms around his chest and bury my face in his chest. He is real, and I'm not dead.
"Those guys from the video?" I shake my head, messing up my bed head a little more.
I let go of Dave and sit on my bed. My glasses are royally foggy and incredibly dirty, "They looked-sob- like the boys, like, their skin was grey and-and stuff and they had the-gasp- weird horns. But they were girls-sob- instead of boys…"
John: Calm the fuck down
I can't calm the fuck down, so I just start breathing really hard.
"What did they do?" Dave's voice has an edge to it. I don't think I've ever heard him sound… upset before.
"Well… Nothing, I-I guess?" I scratch the back of your head, "They tried to talk to me, but-gasp-but they left before saying anything…" I wipe my eyes and try to clean off my glasses with my shirt; it was pointless, though, tears were clinging to my eyelashes and if I were to put those suckers back on they'd be messy again as soon as I blinked.
Dave sits in my computer chair and doesn't say anything for a while. I stop crying and try to calm down, "We need to stop them." Dave said, staring at your computer. "This has gone too far already."
"But what about what you said earlier? And Rose and Jade an—"
"Forget that. I only said it because those jackasses were probably still watching our monitors. Now listen, if we stop those creeps before they get a chance, then we're golden." Dave turned to face me, "Look, your magic wind shit and my swordsmanship… We could handle them." He stands up, "Rose and Jade are tough girls. Doesn't Jade have about a million and a half weapons lying around her house? And Rose could outsmart those dumbasses. And your dad isn't helpless, he's your dad."
"A-And your bro?" Dave shoots me a look that says, 'really?'
I let it pass.
SBALHOISDLKFJ okay
review and all that jazz
enjoy your life
don't do drugs
done