In case you're wondering, no, I'm not even halfway done with those projects I mentioned at the end of the last chapter. I may not even be done with them till I'm halfway done with this fanfic! But hey, at least you got two new Nicktoon wedding-based fanfics while you were waiting for this chapter. I had planned on saving this chapter till Super Bowl Sunday, but then I figured, why bother waiting? I'm not updating my fanfics often enough as it is, so I might as well bring you the latest chapter as soon as I can. And here it is now!

"Oh, Brother!"

The Mushroom Kingdom was usually a place where decent weather was abound, but in this particular episode, the weather was blustery. To be more precise, it was suffering from...

"Two straight weeks of rain!" complained Princess Peach. "Ugh! The Mushroom Kingdom will float away if this doesn't stop soon."

Peach and the Mario Bros. were cooped up inside Toad's House at the moment. Geez, has anyone else noticed how they spend more time at Toad's House than their own homes on this show? It's like he's running a freakin' boarding house.

"Well, of course it's been rainin' for two weeks, Princess!" Toad griped. "I t'ink it'd be more accurate to ask why it would be rainin' for two weeks straight around here, especially considering it hardly ever seems to rain here! And anyway, shouldn't you guys be back in yer own households right now? Da way you guys hang around here, I oughta call dis my hotel ratta dan my house!"

During that conversation, Luigi was attempting to read War and Peace, but was so distracted that he found himself putting the book over his head. "Ughh! Mario, turn that racket you call music back down! I'm trying to read here!"

Mario, plunger in hand, was dancing to the background score of "DuckTales". "Well, tough luck, Luigi! I'd rather listen to the background music of superior cartoons! And 'DuckTales', for one, has music I find hot!"

Quite pissed at that remark, Luigi got up and took out the CD Mario was listening to. Mario stopped dancing and watched in horror as Luigi tossed it into the fireplace. "There! Now it's even hotter."

"You idiot!" yelled Mario. "It took me weeks to download all the tracks I put on that CD! And now you've ruinated it!"

"Well, it serves you right for leaving me out of Super Mario 64!" Luigi yelled back.

"I allowed you to come along for the Nintendo DS remake, didn't I?" Mario snapped.

"Yeah, but you could've allowed me to join you for Super Mario Sunshine as well!" With that, Luigi pushed down his brother's hat, pulled out his suspenders, and twisted his moustache.

"Ooooh, I hate when you do that!" Mario pulled his hat back up and began to physically attack Luigi in a typical cartoon fight cloud, yelling out unintelligible gibberish.

"Will you guys chill out?" Peach asked. "You're only doing this 'cause we've been cooped up in here for two weeks!"

"Yeah!" said Toad. "It's bad enough I hafta put up wit' havin' youse livin' under my roof without havin' to listen to yer complaints!"

Ignoring his friends, Mario jumped out of the fight cloud, pulled out his Super Hammer, and thwacked Luigi on the head with it, putting a stop to the fight cloud.

After swatting the flying stars away from his head, Luigi screamed, "All right, that's it! I cannot take any more of this abuse! I'm walking!"

Peach put a stopping hand in Luigi's face. "Luigi! You don't want to quit working for Nintendo! Just because Sony's distributing our DVD sets is no reason to switch to them."

"No! I'm not quitting Nintendo, I'm quitting this cartoon show!" Luigi corrected. "I've got a career to think of, and I'm not going to spend it taking abuse from ghosts and Goombas! I don't care if people do think I'm a ham." Suddenly, a banana cream pie flew in and hit him in the face. "Ugh. Don't tell me they're still doing that insipid 'National Don't-Mention-Meat-Or-Someone-Will-Hit-You-With-A-Banana-Cream-Pie Day' running gag! If that's the case, I'm definitely leaving this show!" He stormed out the door and into the rain. "In fact, I'm leaving this network altogether, and going to CBS! Farewell, ex-brother!"

"Fine!" Mario shouted outward. "Good riddance, ya looney!"

"Hey Mario, didn't you used to be on CBS?" Toad asked.

"Yeah, I was on the 'Saturday Supercade'," Mario answered. "Every Saturday morning from 1983 to 1985, me and my niece Pauline tried to recapture Donkey Kong for the circus. Of course, we never got to catch him because that would get our segment cancelled earlier than it did. Besides, you try lugging an 800-pound gorilla back however many miles we had to travel!"

"Wait, I thought Pauline was your old girlfriend," nitpicked Toad. "I mean, if she's yer niece, does dat mean she's Luigi's daughter?"

Mario looked awestruck for a second, then spoke back up. "You're right! That never made any sense to me! Remind me to have a talk with Ruby-Spears about this. Uh, anyway, I'm glad Luigi's gone! He was worthless anyway," he said, settling into the chair Luigi had been sitting in.

"That's some really terrible rain out there," Peach stated the obvious. "Luigi should've put on a Frog Suit before going outside."

"He's only going out in the rain, Princess!" Mario yelled from the chair. "Going out in the rain and going swimming are two different things, you know. He'll live."

Peach grabbed Mario's Super Hammer and thwacked him down with it, squishing him into the chair. "You lazy coot, Mario! You go out there and convince Luigi to come back before he ends up running up a big hospital bill!"

Mario pulled himself out of the chair and stood up on his feet. "Awww, do I have to, Peach? He's just gonna sit out my next adventure game anyway."

"Yeah!" Toad agreed. "Wit' Luigi not here, I got one less person to hafta pay rent for!"

Peach smacked Mario down with the Super Hammer again, and then did the same thing to Toad. "No excuses, Mario! Besides, 'The Adventures of Mario' doesn't sound as catchy as 'The Adventures of Super Mario Bros.' And Toad, the writers don't give a hoot about your household problems."

"Fine, fine, I'll go after him, even if that blockhead is more trouble than Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine! But one of these days, Princess, one of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser." Mario made a punching motion before marching into the rainy exterior. "Geez! This is more degrading than the time I was an artwork model."

"C'mon, can't you hurry this up?" Mario stood in the snow with a carrot taped to his nose, making a Harry Potter pose. "I'm getting so cold my request for an Ice Flower power-up has become pointless!"

"You can't rush art, you big crybaby," said Calvin as he and Hobbes rolled up the first ball of their snowman. "Now stand still so I can study you."

But while Mario was busy overdosing on needless references, he didn't notice a bunch of showerheads up in the clouds, attached to a gigantic pipe. And although he didn't know it yet, these showerheads were the cause of the rain.

0-0-0

"My newest invention is a success, King Dad!" Down in the basement of Koopa Castle, Ludwig Von Koopa and his big ruler-type dad, Bowser, watched as Coins poured from out of a pipe in the ceiling and into the strainer in front of them. "All zat rain on the Mushroom Kingdom surface flushes all of the Pipe Maze's floating Coins down to zis underground dungeon! That Power Shower certainly takes a load off my schedule!"

"That's nice and all, Kooky," said Bowser, "but I think you already told me this when ya set the thing up!"

"I vasn't explaining it to you; I vas explaining it to them." Ludwig pointed in the direction of the camera facing them. "And please, don't call me Kooky! That's a girl's name."

But before Bowser could respond to that, one of the pipes connected to the Power Shower broke apart, and the room started to flood. "Aw crap!" yelled Bowser. "Looks like your genius ain't all it's cracked to be, Kooky. Your Power Shower's sprung a leak! What were the odds of this happening, I ask?"

"On zis show, pretty good," said Ludwig. "And don't call me Kooky!"

"I didn't even mention the possibility of this thing breaking down!" Bowser threw out his hands. "But no matter. You're the mad scientist in this family, Kooky. FIX IT!"

"King Dad, just 'cause I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm good at everything! Ipso facto, I'm no plumber! And don't call me Kooky!"

"OK then, we'll just have to hire the services of someone who is a plumber. And I know just the guy, or guys. Get me the number for Stern Lecture Plumbing!"

"I thought maybe we vere just gonna kidnap one of the Mario Bros. and have them do this job."

"Oh." Bowser's mouth hung for a bit. "All right, we'll kidnap a Mario Brother."

0-0-0

Up above, on ground level, Luigi stood at the bus station with his suitcase. "I wonder if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will allow me to guest-star on their show," he said to himself. "Or maybe I should try 'Garfield and Friends', or even 'Muppet Babies'."

Just then, Mario came up the hill, pointing an accusing finger at his brother. "There you are, you miserable rat! The Princess won't let me rest till I drag your sorry ass back home, you traitorous vermin!"

"A traitorous vermin, am I? Well, just because I'm green doesn't mean it's my fault the XBox 360 is already out in stores!" Luigi pulled on his older sibling's hat, suspenders, and moustache again.

"Cretin! Didn't I already say I hate when you do that?"

"Yo mama!"

The Mario Bros. were so busy arguing, they didn't notice they were being watched by a periscope sticking out a nearby pipe in the ground. On the other end of the pipe, Ludwig watched them argue. "You see, King Dad? I told you my Koopascope was a winning idea! I'm able to spy on ze Mario Bros. and zey're none ze wiser! Speaking of zem, how're we going to decide which one to nab? Are we gonna flip a Coin?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Kooky! We'll choose the scientific way..." Bowser pulled out his "method". "...A rousing game of Dungeons & Dragons!"

"Thirty minutes later," said the French Narrator.

"Ha! My dragon roasts all your elves, Kooky!" Bowser proclaimed. "I win, so that means we're koopin' Mario!"

"Fiddlesticks!" Ludwig threw down his cards. "Personally, I don't see the point of this. Does it really matter vhich vun of zem ve get?"

Bowser stood up, ignoring his son's remarks. "Now how are we going to get Mario down here? It's not like I can just walk up to him and ask him to fix my bathtub."

"Leave zat to me, King Dad! Zis is a job for..." Ludwig zipped off, then returned with a fishing rod with a gloved mechanical hand where the bait would be. "...my newest-newest invention, the Plumber Pole! Soon to be available in stores everywhere as the Boyfriend Retriever."

"A fishing pole?" Bowser wasn't impressed. "Someone has already invented that, Kooky! Besides, the Marios are above ground. How do you expect to bring one of them down here using a fishing pole?"

"Don't question me, King Dad; just watch and stop calling me Kooky!" Ludwig cast the pole into the pipe he had been looking through with the Koopascope.

Up above, the Mario Bros. were still arguing their heads off. "Well, it's your fault I lost Favorite Video Game at the 2003 Kids' Choice Awards!" Mario pouted.

"No it isn't!" Luigi yelled back. "The kids who voted just happened to like SpongeBob more than you! And another thing, it's not my fault that Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb keep calling you an Italian stereotype and badmouthing the GameCube!"

At that point, the Plumber Pole's hook came out of the pipe behind the fighting duo and attached itself to Mario. "Hey, where'd this hook and line come from?" the so-called Italian stereotype asked. "It's not fishing season!"

"You're right!" said Luigi. "It's duck season!"

"What! No it isn't!" Mario placed the hook on Luigi. "It's wabbit season!"

"Duck season!" Luigi placed the hook back on Mario.

"Wabbit season!" Mario put the hook back on Luigi.

"Duck season!"

"Wabbit season!"

"Duck season!"

"Wabbit season!"

"Wabbit season!" Luigi switched the argument around and placed the hook back on himself.

"Duck season! FIRE!" Mario stupidly placed the hook on his own self, and immediately, Ludwig pulled back on the pole, dragging Mario down to the pipe it was coming from. "Wait a minute," he realized as he went down the drain, "if I didn't know better, I'd say I've just had a Bugs Bunny pulled on me! That's ironic, considering DiC has me confused with him."

Mario soon found himself, still attached to the Plumber Pole, inside the Castle Koopa basement, with Ludwig and Bowser standing around him. A pair of Hammer Bros. were there as well, but they had nothing to do, so Bowser immediately sent them away. "Mario, ol' buddy, ol' pal, ol' enemy," he said, "for once I'm glad to have you here!"

"What the foshizzle?" said Mario. "Bowser! How did I get here?"

"I brought you here using my Plumber Pole," Ludwig explained, "or as I'm marketing it, the Boyfriend Retriever! Do you like it? Be honest."

"Well, I suppose you'll make a big profit off of it with some girls I know," said Mario, "but what I really wanna know is, why'd you drag me down here? I had a hankering to give my useless brother a good spankering!"

"I finally found a way to repay you for helping me get my castle back from the Smithy Gang," Bowser elucidated. "Kooky's Power Shower here has sprung a leak, and since we don't have any plumbing experts in this castle, we thought maybe you could help us!"

"The Power Shower?" said Mario. "I'm pretty sure marketing is already using that name for a showerhead with my image on it."

"Zey are?" Ludwig scratched his head. "Zat would explain why I couldn't get a patent for it..."

"Wait a minute!" Mario said again. "Is this Power Shower you speak of what's causing all that rain and flooding up above?"

"Uh, yeah," answered Bowser. "We're using the runoff to steal the Pipe Maze's Coin Treasury!"

"Fix your own leak, you crackpots! Or at least find some other plumbers. I stopped taking orders from other people after that time I worked for the Disney Channel," defied Mario, signaling another flashback.

"So let me get this straight, Mr. Eisner," Mario said to the CEO. "You honestly want to take 'Dumbo's Circus' and 'Welcome to Pooh Corner' off of the schedule and make it seem like they never existed?"

"Yup, that's my plan!" replied Michael Eisner.

"Are you crazy?" Mario protested. "Kids deserve to be able to view those shows! They might not be getting this kind of entertainment ten years from now!"

"Oh, who cares about entertainment? By that time, I'll be milking every last dollar out of Marvel Comics and Saban's properties, no matter how many people still find THEM cool! To heck with the company's own characters; I can just buy the Muppets and make money off of them! In fact, I think I'll buy YOU out..." Eisner reached his hand toward Mario's heart. "Kalima... Kalima!"

"Stop that!" Mario slapped the moneygrubber's hand away. "And y'know what? If you wanna take away what viewers are ordering your cable networks for, then I quit!"

"OK, I'll admit, Mario," said Bowser, "we haven't exactly been the best of friends, maybe not even the best of enemies, but I'll tell you what. If you fix the Power Shower for us, I'll give you any favor you want."

"What could I want from you?" Mario turned his head away.

"The Klopman Diamond!" Bowser offered. "I know where it's kept."

"I'm not one for ill-gotten gains!"

"OK, OK... uh, I'll get Disney to do a better job with the DVD sets of their TV shows."

"Nuh-uh."

"Storm Cartoon Network till they put the Looney Tunes back on?"

"No way," Mario shook his head.

"Twelve dozen bargains later," said the French Narrator.

"I'll convince Mr. Heyward to produce better Christmas specials!" Bowser was practically on his knees.

"Sorry, Bowser," Mario stood firm, despite his position. "There's nothing you can do that can get me to fix your stupid shower thingy. Not even if it satisfies over 500 other people."

Bowser turned back to Ludwig and sighed. "Eh, he's not crackin', Kooky. Guess there's no point in callin' him a pipesqueak at the moment."

"Ah, but I figured zis would happen, King Dad! Zis is the perfect opportunity for me to try out..." Ludwig zoomed off again, and then returned carrying a bicycling helmet decorated with Christmas lights. "...my newest-newest-newest invention, the Lame Brainer! I originally intended to call it the Sesslar, but someone else was already using that name." And with that, he placed the so-called Lame Brainer on Mario's head.

"Nice try, Koopas, but it's gonna take a lot more than a silly party hat to make me..." But before Mario could finish his sentence, the lights on the helmet flashed rapidly, and then he was suddenly speaking with a high-pitched female voice. "OH MY GOD!1!11 I TODALY LUUUUUV RANEBOW MUNKEES!1"

"What the hell?" Bowser had a surprised reaction.

"I ALSO LUV TOO SBIN AHROUND INN FEELDS OV FLOWURS AND NUMBUH FORE IZ MY BOYFREND!1!111" Mario pranced around the Koopas, spinning in circles and throwing his arms out in glee.

"Whoops, wrong frequency." Ludwig fiddled with the receiver on the top of the Lame Brainer.

Immediately, Mario's mood changed, as well as his vocal tone. "Ooooooh, I hate those Smurfs!" he said as he shook his fists. "I'll get all of them if it's the last thing I ever dooo! NEE HEE HEE HEE HEE YAH HAH HAHH!"

"That's better, but still not what I'm looking for." Ludwig fiddled with the receiver again.

Mario's expression and voice got stiff. "Stay tuned for Eyewitness News, next on WWL-TV Channel 4!"

"No..." Ludwig fiddled with the receiver once more.

"Cooooooooooooookie Crisp!" Mario howled.

"Ugh!" Ludwig continued to fiddle with the receiver. "Isn't any of these settings the right one?"

After a while, Mario stopped making silly faces and said, "Masters, your wishes are my command."

"All right!" Bowser was about to jump for joy, but then stopped in realization. "Wait, don't you mean, 'your wish is my command'?"

"No, I mean, 'Your wishes are my command.' For I am a Genie," explained Mario, "and since you released me from the lamp wherein I was trapped, I will grant you three wishes."

"Mario thinks he's a Genie?" Ludwig scratched his head. "I guess the Lame Brainer still needs some fine-tuning."

"Hang on, hang on! As long as he thinks he's a Genie, he can at least follow whatever we wish for him to do." Bowser turned to Mario and said, "Mario-Genie, I wish for you to fix the leak in our Power Shower!"

Mario snapped his fingers. "It shall be done, master."

"And make it snappy!" the Koopa King ordered. "I hate it when my tootsie-wootsies get wet!"

"Then vhy did you ask Wart's minions to lick your feet once?" Ludwig pointed out.

"Hey, you weren't around then; you wouldn't know!" Bowser muttered.

0-0-0

Up above, Luigi stood over the pipe through which he had seen Mario disappear through. "Boy, that bilge-brained brother of mine must be in deep trouble down there. I mean, it probably smells terrible down there. Well, I guess I gotta save him. The question is, do I want to?"

"You're not just gonna let him die down there, are you?" he heard a high-pitched version of his voice say.

Luigi glanced at his left shoulder and saw a small angelic version of himself standing there. "My shoulder angel?"

"Don't listen to that guy." A small demonic Luigi appeared on the other shoulder. "Ain't you ever looked at the big picture, Weege? With him out of the way, you're the star of this cartoon now, not to mention the games it's based on! Doesn't that just rock? No more Player 2 status for you!"

"Oh, come off it!" Angel-Luigi argued. "This guy's already had two games of his own."

"Yeah, but I'm quite certain his first solo game SUCKED!" pointed out Devil-Luigi.

"Maybe so, but tell me why I never see Mario is Missing! on any of those 'worst video games of all time' lists!" Angel-Luigi crossed his arms.

"Oh, how should I know?" Devil-Luigi huffed. "I don't read the magazines that print those things!"

"Um... this 'becoming the star of the games' bit... that's not counting the handheld RPGs, is it?" Luigi asked. "'Cause I get half of the title character profits on those."

"He's got ya there," Angel-Luigi said to his rival.

"Look, will you guys let me decide this dilemma for myself without having you two breathing down my neck?" Luigi bit.

"That'll work." Angel-Luigi disappeared.

"Whatever you say." Devil-Luigi vanished.

Luigi pondered the dilemma in front of him some more, until finally, he went ahead and jumped down the pipe. Somehow, it was a lot more flooded in there than when Mario was getting pulled down. The skinny guy hadn't gotten far when he ran into a Blooper Nanny.

"Halt!" said the Blooper Nanny. "We'll not let you pass!"

"Oh, come on!" argued Luigi. "Why shouldn't I be allowed to pass? I'm swimming right through here lookin' for my stupid brother."

"Sorry, sir, but this highway is for aquatic lifeforms only," the Blooper Nanny said firmly.

"What highway?" yelled Luigi. "This is a transport tube! I need to come through here."

"You'll just have to take the upper route, sir," the Blooper Nanny pointed upward.

"But wherever it is I'm going might not be in that direction!" argued Luigi. "Let me through!"

"Ixnay, ixnay!" all the Bloopers said in unison.

Luigi sighed angrily and swam back up the pipe. "Hmph! 'This highway's for aquatic lifeforms only', she says. Well if it's an aquatic lifeform she wants, I'll give her one!"

The green-clad Brooklynite ran back to Toad's House, broke into the closet, pulled a Frog Suit out of one of the chests in there, put it out, came out of the closet, and hopped out into the rain again. Peach and Toad didn't see him, because they were too busy playing Tetris to notice.

By the time he got back to the pipe, Luigi realized that he would've gotten there faster had he have waited till he got there to put on the Frog Suit. Nevertheless, he dove down into the flooded Pipe Maze and came upon the Blooper Nanny again, during which those weird unseen singers could be heard singing about brotherly love or something.

"Halt! We'll not let you pass!" the Blooper Nanny said again.

"Sure you will," Luigi said assuredly. "I'm a frog; water is a frog's element; therefore, I'm an aquatic lifeform."

"Oh! All right, off you go." The Blooper Nanny cleared the path.

Luigi continued swimming in his direction. "Heh heh, those fish-brained foes sure are stupid! Now to rescue Mario!"

0-0-0

Back in the basement-type dungeon-thingy, the brainwashed Mario finished turning the wrench around. "ALL DONE, MASTERS!" he yelled.

"It's about time!" Bowser put down his copy of Snapping Turtles Monthly and got out of his easy chair. "Now we can continue with our plundering of the Pipe Maze's Coins! Your Lame Brainer helmet thingy is a success, Kooky! What do you think we should do with it next?"

"Hmmm..." Ludwig put his hand to his chin. "I never really thought about it, King Dad. And don't call me Kooky!"

"I was thinking that, so long as Mario's wearing that helmet," Bowser schemed, "we probably won't ever lose again! But how are we going to make sure he stays our slave? I mean, he's in a Genie mode. Why didn't you give this thing a remote control? Then we could set it to slave mode without any problems!"

"Hey, I vasn't expecting the receiver to malfunction, King Dad!" Ludwig bickered.

Just then, a soaked Luigi dropped in from the pipe that Mario had come through. "Um, whoa, ya'll," he said unenthusiastically.

"Holy crap!" yelled Bowser. "It's... uh, whatever his name is; that green Mario look-alike!"

"All right, you bastards!" Luigi pointed an accusing finger. "What did you do to my brother?"

"We've turned him into our slave, thanks to my new invention!" Ludwig indicated the helmet. "Presenting the Lame Brainer! Formerly known as the Sesslar, and certainly more recent than my Power Shower and my Plumber Pole, coming to a store near you as the Boyfriend Retriever."

"And here's the proof! Mario-Genie, I wish for you to kill that frog-face over there!" Bowser ordered.

"Sorry, master, but I cannot do that." Mario had his arms crossed. "We Genies aren't allowed to kill anyone."

"Then I wish for you to cause him great bodily harm!" the Koopa King commanded.

"Okey-dokey." Mario approached Luigi, wrench in hand.

"We'll finish him off ourselves," Bowser whispered to Ludwig.

"You could've let me handle him, King Dad," the little scientist complained. "Zis would be a perfect opportunity to test out my newest-newest-newest-newest invention..."

Bowser shut the mouth of his kid. "Kooky, shut up."

Mario raised his wrench in an attacking pose. "'Asta la vista, baby," he said for no reason other than to make a cultural reference.

"Mario, no!" Luigi cried. "Don't you know who I am? It's a-me, Luigi!"

"Cause you great bodily harm!" Mario droned, preparing to strike.

Luigi jumped out of the way of his brainwashed brother's wrench. "Mama-mia! I gotta get Mario to remember I'm his brother!" He continued jumping out of Mario's warpath. "Mario! Think of all the fun we had as kids! Remember that teddy bear we shared as babies? How about all the drains we unclogged? Remember when you fell unconscious in Cavemanland and I had to bake a pizza to wake you up? Can't you at least do the Mario like in the end credits of last season's shows? Do your William Shatner narration for me!"

But Mario paid no heed to him. "Hurt, maim, destroy! I seeee yoooouuu!"

Luigi jumped away some more. "Ho boy, I'm gonna have to try another approach! And I think I know how!" Turning off the lightbulb that appeared above his head, Luigi got in front of his assailant and yelled at the top of his lungs, "JUMANJI!"

Upon hearing Luigi shout that, Mario came to a stop, and the Lame Brainer flew off his head, landing right on Ludwig's. The composing Koopaling slapped his forehead. "Oh, shoot! What were ze odds of this happening?"

Mario shook his head as he snapped out of his trance. Luigi embraced him like a man back from the world's longest business trip. "Mario, brother! You're back to normal!"

"Well, of course I am, brother! You said the magic word!" said the now-saved Mario. "And I'm glad to see you took Peach's advice about wearing a Frog Suit. Actually, no I'm not. You know how slow those things are outside of water. But nevertheless, I'm glad you got here." By this time, the Lame Brainer had fully hypnotized Ludwig. Mario walked up to him and yelled, "All right, Kooky! Give ol' King Koopa over there a whooping he'll never forget!"

"As you command, oh great video gaming icon," Ludwig droned.

Oh great, now that helmet gets set to slave mode. Bowser started to back away from his entranced son. "Kooky, what the hell are you doing? I'm your dear old king dad!"

"Sheesh, you call yourself a supervillain, Bowser?" Mario snapped his finger. "Oh, wait. I almost forgot this was a 1980s action cartoon."

"Whoa!" Bowser jumped in the other direction.

Ludwig ran after him, his claws prepared to attack. "Give you a whooping you'll never forget!"

"Crap crap crap crap!" Bowser screamed as Ludwig chased him out of the basement. "I didn't even get my third wish!"

"Nice goin' there, brother!" said Luigi.

"Well, it's like I always say, brother," Mario replied, "every chin needs a cleft!"

"You never say that, Mario," Luigi pointed out.

"What do you mean? I said it just now!" said Mario. "Look, let's just destroy Bowser's freakin' rain machine and get back to Toadie's place of residence."

"How?" Luigi looked at his watch again. "We're running out of time for this episode!"

"Like this!" Mario snapped his fingers and signaled a scene-switch.

0-0-0

Soon afterwards, the Mario Bros. were back at Toad's House, and the Power Shower's rain had stopped. Peach and Toad had by now put up their game of Tetris long enough to listen to what had gone on, not to mention the obligatory congratulations. "Well, guys," said Peach once they were done explaining, "thanks to you, all those Coins are back in the Pipe Maze where they belong, and we won't have to worry anymore about that shower thingy you mentioned! And it looks like you two have stopped fighting as well. I'm glad."

"Why?" Luigi asked. "Is it 'cause I'm not leaving for CBS now?"

"Aw, it was nothin'," Mario flaunted. "But just to be fair, all credit for saving the day goes to Luigi."

"That's right!" Luigi suddenly looked startled. "Hey! No way, buster! You're the hero here!"

"No, you're the hero," Mario argued politely.

"No, you're the... wait a second." Luigi stopped. "Pronoun trouble. I'm the hero!"

"I'm the hero, all right," Mario bragged modestly.

"I'm the hero!" Luigi shouted.

As the Mario Bros. argued again, Toad went to his room, then came out carrying a notepad and wearing a "Press" tab in his hat. "Where are you going, Toad?" Peach asked.

"To look for a secondary job in Metropolis!" Toad answered as he walked outside. "Wit da Marios back, I gotta start worryin' about high rent again! Maybe da Daily Planet'll have a good position for me..."

Peach could only shrug. "Landlords," she sighed. "You can't live with 'em; you can't live without 'em!"

And so, with this chapter under the belt, this fanfic is one-thirds finished. There's eight episodes left on those two PAL DVDs, and I'm still itching to make fun of them! But until then, I've got more work to do, like those fanfics I mentioned in the last afterword. Till the next episode, everybody.