"I hate them. I hate them so much!" Harry plopped down on the couch, exhausted. Not only did he have to help the Dursleys with the room, but he also had to unpack them… without magic.

"Well man up. You still have homework to do" Hermione was not in a good mood either. Ron had been her partner for a project in potions and ended up blowing up the cauldron. It made Neville's project get a higher grade!

"You are just so pleasant to be around", Harry said sarcastically. He leaned back onto the plush velvet coating and sighed. It wasn't even noon, and he was already for bed.

"So I think I figured out why Snape had a picture of your mum". Ron exclaimed happily, after a few seconds of silence. Harry squinted his eyes shut. For 8 straight hours last night, he and Ron were coming up with reasons. None were even close to realistic. Eventually, the humor just got old.

"Not this stupid nonsense again" grumbled Hermione. They both ignored her.

"What now, Ron"?

"Well, maybe she was part of a gang. You know… pulling off the whole "sweet on the outside, devil on the inside" kind of thing? Maybe she was the leader, Snape loved her, and now that she is dead he's gone mad! So he takes it all out on you!" Ron sat back, looking very pleased with himself.

Harry and Hermione looked at one another, then back at Ron in confusion.

"That… has to be THE stupidest thing you have ever said in your life!"

Hermione stood up, picked up her quills and walked out of the common room without a word.

"Where is she-?"

"Dunno". The bell rang for lunch.

The Dursleys were sitting at the Gryffindor table when Harry walked in. they thought it was the safest place. The stereotype at Hogwarts really is enforced. Harry was annoyed that Dumbledore knew it too.

He sat down as far away from them as possible, but they just got up and moved next to him.

"Where's the food?" Dudley asked. Now that he knew he was getting food, he was back to normal. His chubby hand clutched the fork and knife so tightly, Harry was almost feeling bad for it. The short wavy black hair barely covered his forehead anymore.

Before Harry could tell him to shove off, the food appeared in front of them, tonight on silver platters. Harry didn't know who was more excited… Dudley for seeing the food, or Vernon and Petunia for seeing the real silver platters.

They started stuffing silverware and plates into Petunia's purse, but Dumbledore came up behind them.

"You can stuff all you want, but as soon as you step outside Hogwarts it vanishes". They looked up at him surprised, and slightly guilty. Harry and Ron tried to cover their laughter with little success.

Hermione never showed up for lunch. Dudley made sure to eat her portion as well as his own. Harry as surprised there was actually anything left.

Owl post brought a surprise. Someone actually sent Snape a howler. It exploded at the staff table.

"YOU ARE A SLIPPERY, SLIMY GIT! TAKE A SHOWER! HAHAHAHAHA… AND BUY SOME PRODUCTS FROM FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!" then it ripped itself up at his fingertips. Harry had thought he had seen Snape at his angriest, but apparently not. Though the communication was completely nonverbal, Harry knew. They all knew. Whoever the genius was who set that had better be laughing now… it wasn't going to be good later.

"Hey guys… what did you think of our little surprise?" Fred appeared on Ron's left, George on the right.

"Why am I not surprised that it was you", Harry laughed. "That was brilliant". Ron opened his eyes wide.

"Are you both completely mental? Snape'll have your arse for this one!"

George waved him off.

"Not to worry little bro… we got it covered"

"Yeah, we talked to Lupin. Asked him the worst thing he did to Snape as a kid. He said the howler was priceless, he was right!" Dudley moved his head toward the conversation.

"What was that, Harry?" Dudley was still shoving food into his mouth.

Fred turned his head sideways to look at Dudley.

"You have never seen a howler? What, you living under a rock? You call yourself a wizard?"

"Fred, George, meet my cousin. He is not a wizard. Dudley, is just staying here for the time being". Harry hated how that came out of his mouth. It was almost to painful to hear himself say it.

They shrugged it off and went to go bother someone else.

"Harry, I want to be a wizard too! I asked Dumbledore if I could join your classes with you. He made a deal with me. If I could make better grades than you, he would give me my own powers. A stick thing and everything!"

Harry chocked on his pudding. Ron thumped him on the back until it came flying back out his mouth.

"What?" How could Dumbledore do this to him? Dudley was very motivated to do things when the reward was worth it. If the ability for magic was on the line… he was screwed.

"Uh… that's great Dudley. But you will never make higher grades than me". Now he would have to pull a Hermione. He knew he was just kidding himself. He pushed back the bench, and stood up. He left the great hall without another word.