Authors note- Yepsters I am back! How is everyone? Sorry it has taken this long once again to work on another chapter, my other computer crashed so we had to by another one… my family goes through computers like they go through bread. Well enough of my gibber jabbering on with the story.
Chapter 4- Forever
Sesshomaru and Rin did not talk while they packed up camp. Jaken grilled Rin with questions, and her not wanting to lie to him told him everything EXCEPT for the part about Sesshomaru and her. Rin couldn't help but watch Sesshomaru as he placed all the stuff on Ah-un'a back. Rin idolized him as she memorized every strand of silvery hair, and every swirl in his golden yellow amber eyes.
"What are you looking at Rin?" Sesshomaru asked coldly making Rin jump out of her day dream.
"Nothing lord Sesshomaru," she said swallowing nervously before spinning around to grab one more bag and running after them as they started walking. And there it was the dreadful castle, the place where she spent her time waiting for her lord to come home and take her on another adventure. The group walked no one talking as they found the dirt path leading them to their final destination. Rin wanted to stop and pick some flowers, but they were on a deadline Sesshomaru still had to pack his things for the leave. Sesshomaru snuck a peak back to see Rin dazing off at the flower fields. A smile crossed his face before he turned off. If only she knew that he could not run anymore, that he wanted to give himself to her… that he was sorry. He was so sorry he had to leave her, if only she knew that heart he had been given by her. He hated being so stubborn, so prideful, so frightened… him? Frightened? What had happened? Was this his fathers doing? Was his father some were around working this out as a lesson for his son? Was this his fathers greater plan? Did he know he'd fall down before a human? That he would love such a feeble creature?
"Jaken?" Sesshomaru said not looking at Jaken.
"Yes Lord Sesshomaru-Sama," Jaken asked as Rin trailed behind them guiding Ah-Un.
"I have some important things to attend to when we return to the castle. I need my space so could you keep Rin occupied?" Sesshomaru asked instead of demanded for once.
"Well… ye… yes Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken said surprised that Sesshomaru did not demand it but asked it. This was not like his lord, "are you alright lord…"
"Do not question me if you do not want me to hurt you," Sesshomaru said walking faster making Jaken swallow nervously.
"What is wrong with our lord?" Jaken asked Rin as he walked beside her, "he seems so different…"
"Maybe lord Sesshomaru realizes that all we've ever done is helped him… maybe he cares about us," Rin said walking beside Jaken. Jaken snorted a laugh.
"Lord Sesshomaru cares about no one not you not I nor the world," Jaken said making Rin look down sadly, "that is what makes him so powerful Rin you must understand he can never care about anyone but himself. It is time to fantasize about someone else, perhaps another human man?"
"Your right Jaken I do need to think of someone other then him," she said before looking over to him, "but I do not fantasize about him that is just foolish."
"You can hide it from yourself and you might be able to hide it from our lord, but you cannot hide it from me young one," Jaken said looking up at the girl, "how did that happen…"
"Huh?" she asked looking down at Jaken.
"How did you get so tall? You use to be the same as me, my how you have grown Rin," Jaken said letting out a sigh that made her smile, "your growing up."
"I'm still that little girl who use to race you through the fields," she giggled making him smile.
"Yes only I have no chance now," he said not knowing Sesshomaru was ease dropping on their conversation.
"You never had a chance," she laughed. There it was, the laugh he missed. The laugh that brought back memories of her happy years with them.
"What?!" he squawked making her giggle again, "oh you little brat!"
"I always tried to let you win every now and then and yet you still couldn't," she smiled a bit glowing grin that made Jaken smile before sighing again/
"I feel so discouraged," he said dropping his head. Sesshomaru smiled as they closed in on the castle. They walked up the steps and through the golden doors. Rin swallowed nervously as everyone stopped to smile at Rin, she was quite the popular girl. Rin looked over at her beautiful lord as he walked past everyone and straight to his chambers.
--
Rin sat in her room contemplating about everything. She rolled over facing the window which had a beautiful view of the small garden. She wished there were more flowers around there, you had to walk for a little while to get to the field of wild flowers. A thought of Sesshomaru crossed her mind again making her bite her lip as she tried to push it out of her head. She tried to fight back the tears that so wildly threatened her eyes with great harshness.
'Why does he do this to me? Does he not know I am in agony?' she thought to herself as she cuddled with the blanket. A tap at the door made her shoot up and swing the door open, "Lord Sesshomaru?!"
"Sorry Rin," the little green Jaken said looking up at her, "you've grown so tall Rin."
"What do you want?" Rin asked slumping down before climbing back into her bed.
"Get up out of bed Rin it is still a bright day out and you look a fright now. Our lord has an announcement to make," Jaken said looking at the girl, "brush your hair fix your clothes move it child."
"I already know is announcement and I cannot bare to hear it again," Rin said burying her head into the pillow.
"Stop being foolish he requests that we all be there," Jaken said ignoring the signs of heart break.
"He is going to announce he is leaving us and he is taking a mate," Rin said her words muffled by the cotton fabric, "constantly I ignore this pain consuming me, only this time Jaken it cuts too deep."
"Rin child," Jaken said sitting on the bed beside her, "do not show him this weakness, he has never had a place for humans yet he has excepted you as one of us… I have grown to be fond of you and do not wish to see you sent away Rin. He is our lord and we will abide what he says even if it hurts us or kills us."
"I know," she said sitting up as she looked at herself in the mirror, "I will be on my way down."
"That's a good girl Rin," Jaken said before walking out of the door. Rin readied herself before she walked the door and down to the main room in the giant castle. Sesshomaru sat at the head of the table beside a youkai female with golden hair. She was beautiful she was exquisite and Rin knew she had no chance. The way he held Rin, the way he touched her face, the way he looked into her eyes, and Rin knew that girl was going to be stealing her kisses from him, her looks from him, and stealing her love from him. Though Sesshomaru did not remember that night, Rin had not forgotten. It tormented her, boiled her blood, tortured her soul, and tore apart her heart.
Sesshomaru spoke with power and elegance, without falter, complete perfection his facial features never changing as he explained his up coming absence as well the marriage that would be taking place when he got back. He placed his future mate in charge while he was away. Rin did not smile once that night, the very next day Sesshomaru would be leaving. Rin stood up walking out once lunch was over, she began her long walk to the flower field. Sesshomaru watched her leave and waited a few moments before getting up himself to follow her. Rin let her hands glide across the top of the tall grass as she finally entered the meadow. Slowly making his way Sesshomaru watched her as she fell to her knees looking up at the stars. The first one fell and with that tear the rain began to fall. A large gust of wind swept through the field sending some stray wild flowers at her as her long black hair danced along with the simple melody.
'I hate to leave her behind,' Sesshomaru said the wind catching his hair as well and Rin had a feeling to look behind her. There at the beginning of the field stood her lord elegant and mesmerizing. Was she crying? He took a step into the field the rain still pouring down. His steps were light as if he barely touched the ground the long grass swayed as if almost they wanted to touch him. Rin hated how beautiful her lord was, she was his servant… and nothing more. And a faithful servant that Rin had and always would be.
"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin said holding a tiny pastel flower in her tiny hands as he stopped a foot away from her. He took it from her hand and placed it in her ear.
'If only I could say to you the things I won't let myself think,' he thought just looking at her.
"Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked as he placed it in her ear. She swallowed placing her hands to her chest looking up into his golden amber eyes. He removed his hand slowly feeling the chill of fall nipping at his once arm, "what is on your mind?"
"Why do you follow so faithfully Rin? Never has your loyalty flailed… unlike many have. So willingly you give your human mortality to serve youkai, creature's that will… a creature that could turn on you at any moment, that will live for eternity and see you as so small. Why?"
"Your not a creature to me Sesshomaru. You've showed kindness to me that no other human or youkai have shown me. I will follow you anywhere," Rin said giving off that grin that he so desperately loved. He wanted to touch her lips, for so long now desires and things that shouldn't be in his heart a heart before he never had slowly popped up out of no where like weeds in the summer time. It would have driven him mad if he had thought about them at all really.
"Why are you trembling?" Sesshomaru asked touching a strand of her hair, "do you not mean what you say to me?"
"Of course lord Sesshomaru I mean every word. Lord Sesshomaru when I was missing you were so scared… but no one else cared. And after every time I awake from a dream I fear, cause I know your leaving. I am afraid of the day you leave," Rin said feeling herself tremble.
"You are strong Rin, you've grown up strong," he said looking down at her wondering what was running through her mind.
"Sesshomaru," she said looking at him with sweet beautiful doe like teary eyes, "I'm strong on the surface not all the way through. I've never been perfect, and I know you know that."
"Rin," he gasped swallowing hard wanting to be cold and distant like usual. But to both their surprise his hands gripped her shoulders pulling her forcefully into his arms, "I keep forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well. Don't be afraid Rin I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made Rin. I want you to know Rin… When my time comes forget the wrong that I've done help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Just please don't resent me and when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory."
"Sesshomaru," she said her hands squeezing his back, "please take me with you…"
"No one can save me from myself, and no one can save me but myself," he said his fingers sliding through her silky black hair.
"I can't imagine me without you," she said her grip on him tightening making him sigh, "because of you my life is worth while. I can't… I cant imagine. It was like you heard me calling, and you set me free. When I found you I was blessed and I will never leave you lord Sesshomaru, I need you…"
"Enough Rin I told you not to get so attached to me," he said gritting his teeth, "but… Rin, I am glad you have. But I cannot endanger your life by taking you. If you are good to your promise on never leaving me… then wait here for me and never leave, never even if I do not make it back. This Sesshomaru never fails, but promise Rin if this Sesshomaru doesn't make it back to you that you will stay and I will live on through you."
"I promise my lord," she said as he pried her arms from around his waist. He looked down at her with a smile.
"You've always been a good girl and done what you were told," Sesshomaru said looking at her not sure what to say to her, he knew he was hurting but there was nothing he could do. He had to leave and there was no turning back, but he really did not want to leave her. Though he wished he could take her with him, he couldn't he could not endanger her anymore then he already had, "but I cannot put you into anymore danger. Without me asking you've always followed faithfully and showed true loyalty in which is a very respectable act. Which is why I cannot ask you to follow me anymore, especially into such a dangerous mission Rin… as your lord I must think of your safety as well the safety of the other around me. You must stay here and await Jaken and my return. Rin…"
"Yes?" Rin asked looking into his eyes but the proud youkai would not fall victim to his fathers same distasteful habits. He would not care for this human more then a mere subject, a friend was even to much to admit to himself yet he did consider her such.
"I do not need to…" he was going to insult her as he usually did to make himself feel better but something in her eyes made his heart beat faster washing away his harmful words. No longer was that Sesshomaru the same cold hearted Sesshomaru he was before he met Rin. After he paused for a moment he gained control of his voice enough to speak, "I must go pack my things. Do not stay out to long Rin, Jaken will not be happy if he has to come looking for you."
"I am not a child anymore lord Sesshomaru," she said slightly irritated with his threat.
"Then act grownup Rin and do as you are told and there will be no need to teach you as such," he said as he slowly walked away. She watched him in the distance with a pout as he made his way back to the castle. He knew she was growing up, he noticed every day the way she changed… especially physically. Sometimes he couldn't even bare to look at her, and other days he just tried to remember her as little Rin.
'I will show him how grownup I have become,' Rin thought as she stood there in the breeze her hand to her chest as she gripped the necklace that hid under her kimono, 'I will follow you lord Sesshomaru… I will follow you and show you. I will never be left behind. Lord Sesshomaru I said I would be with you forever, and forever it is.'
Authors note: I know this took ages for me to get up… but better late then never? I have ideas for where it is going to go, but extra ideas never go un-appreciated. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I am sorry for the wait!