Chapter 4: Boom Boom's Stalker Issues

Amara

Ok, so before I begin my story, I'm just going to mention how really annoying this all is. I mean, it's not like I wanted to wake up today, clean out an attic, witness a shooting, and then have to tell all about it.

The story is so long and so stupid that I don't even feel like going into it completely. So I won't. I'll get straight the stupid point. The day was nice and boring and Professor X told some story I didn't listen to. I didn't see Rogue shoot Remy so I don't know why she did it. What I saw was this:

Nothing. I just heard it. The shot was loud, it was just another irritating thing to add to the already crappy day. When I turned around, Rogue was freaking out, which was annoying, and Remy was screaming in pain which was really, REALLY annoying. And well…blood kind of creeps me out like, a LOT so I might have started screaming and then annoying myself. Kitty came up and slapped me—how nice of her. That wasn't annoying at all.

And well, that's what I saw.

…

"Amara…" Rogue tiredly rubbed her eyes. "That was NO help at all."

Amara grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, 'Boyfriend killer' before huffing and crossing her arms.

Rogue looked like she was ready to hit her when Professor X rolled between them and said calmly, "Tabitha?"

Tabitha quickly averted her gaze away from the corner Kurt was standing in. "Yeah?"

"Your story. Tell us." The Professor's worried gaze slid to Rogue. "Quickly, please."

"Sure." The blonde girl's eyes moved back to Kurt (who was starting to look worried now). "What can I say? The day started out normally enough…"

…

And when I say normal, I mean that Kurt was going about his normal daily routine. If you're wondering what that is, it's something like this: Every morning at seven thirty Kurt wakes up. I say this because I can hear his alarm going off. After that he stumbles into the bathroom across the hall, (still half asleep) and gets dressed. I know that's what he's doing because I can hear clothes ruffling when I press my ear to the door. When he comes out of there, he goes down to the kitchen to eat. Every morning I'll go down too and watch him eat. It's fascinating, really. Kurt has a different way that he eats everything.

When he eat eggs, he holds his fork upside down. When he eats poptarts he nibbles on them like a little squirrel. When he eats cereal he slurps and when he drinks orange juice he always gulps it down in one go.

When Kurt is finished eating we all go down together to the danger room and go through a three hour long training session with Wolverine and Kurt teleports all around the danger room like the cute little elf that he is.

When we're finished with training, we all take a shower. In separate showers of course. That is the one thing we don't do as a team, though I have no doubt that if someone told Scott that it might be a great opportunity for team-bonding he might want to try it out.

I wouldn't mind.

Not as long as Kurt was there.

While Kurt showers, I stand outside the door and listen to the water going down the drain.

This might seem weird to you. In fact, all of this might sound weird to you. But it's not. I don't do it because I'm obsessed with Kurt or anything. Because I'm NOT. And don't try to think that I am because I'm NOT! I just have a fascination with listening at doors and watching people eat.

That's ALL it is.

Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Kurt's daily schedule.

When we're finished showering, we all go off and do our separate things. This morning, we all went down to have a snack. Kurt ate an orange. I watched Kurt eat. Until…

"Sup?"

I glanced over to find Bobby sliding into the chair in front of me. Great. Someone to distract me from my hobby. Don't get me wrong; Bobby's alright. His sanity isn't quite as unhinged as I usually like in guys, but then again, neither is Kurt's. But that's nothing I can't fix.

"Nothing." I answer Bobby and glance back over at Kurt to make sure he isn't going anywhere.

"What's up with you and Kurt?" Bobby asked. "Why do you keep staring at him?"

Almost as if he had heard Bobby speak his name Kurt's gaze darted over and found mine before he looked away again. Perfect. I feel myself grin. Mission destroy Kurt's sanity is going smoothly.

After a few minutes of this, Kurt gets this cute little scrunched up angry look on his face and suddenly turns and marches over to me.

"Tabitha." He snaps. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I say sweetly. Which between you and me is really a telltale sign that I'm up to nothing good.

And I think Kurt knows it.

"You've been watching me for days!"

Actually it's been months but I didn't think there was any point in correcting him. "Have I?" I ask as though I really don't know. "I didn't even notice." I smile again; this time just to annoy him.

"You're creeping me out." Kurt says flatly. "Stop it."

"Stop what?"

I could almost hear his teeth grinding together. I relish in the sound. "Stop watching me every second of the day. You're acting like a stalker!"

He's got no idea. But I thought I would humor him anyway. "Ok." I agreed. "I won't."

Won't stop staring at him, that is.

But Kurt was satisfied with this answer that makes no sense. "Good." He nodded. "I'll be—" he stopped mid sentence because suddenly there's a lot of noise coming from the hall. He turns and runs out and I hear him scream something about his babies. I knew it must have been his geese but I have no idea how they ended up in the hall.

Yeah, Kurt has geese. Their parents were hit by a car last year and he brought them home and took care of them himself. For some reason he's never told anyone this. Definitely not me. I only know because I've hidden up a tree with a pair of binoculars and watched him every time he goes out to feed them.

Anyway, after Kurt ran off with his birds, Miss Ororo came into the kitchen a few minutes later to hijack our day and forced us all to come up to the attic and help clean it out. I didn't really mind because I figured that maybe I could find some old pictures up there of Kurt to add to my collection.

Not that I have a creepy obsession with Kurt. Because I don't. Let's not forget that.

As we were going up the stairs (each of us grumbling quietly while Ororo glared at us) Rogue, who for some reason had been unusually clumsy all morning, tripped and nearly knocked Kurt down. In turn, I nearly killed her.

But I decided not to. Why? I don't know why. I could not explain my reasoning to you.

Wait, now I remember. It was because Kurt bent forward and the back of his shirt rose up about an inch or so, exposing an inch of blue back fur.

Yep.

We went upstairs and set to work. All of that other crap that everyone said happened, happened. I won't go into all of that again; I think we've pretty much got the gist of what was happening. Sorry Professor, I didn't listen to your story. I was busy trying to stare into Kurt's soul.

After lunch, I went to speak to Kitty. And 'speak' might be somewhat of an understatement.

"Kitty, why are you staring Remy and Rogue down?" I actually took my eyes off of Kurt to ask this. It had been bugging me all day. I mean, she was acting like an obsessive, creepy…love expert.

"Ahuh," Kitty nodded and continued to watch Remy and Rogue across the room. "That's cool."

"What's cool?"

"Like, yeah, totally." Kitty obviously wasn't listening.

It pissed me off so I farted on her and ran away.

She didn't notice…at first. Trust me, I ate some pintos last night at dinner and I put a whole new stank on 'silent but deadly'.

While Kitty was gagging, I went over to see what Pyro and Bobby were talking about.

We argued over movies for a while before I got bored and started staring at Kurt again. And then Kitty actually tried to talk to me.

"Tabby, why have you been staring at him all day?" She asked.

"No reason." I answered innocently. Because that's me. Innocent. Completely innocent.

Just to freak them out, I went back to where Pyro and Bobby stood and started staring at Kurt again.

And that's when it happened.

The shot—it was weird. It sounded exactly like you would imagine a gunshot should sound like. Which might not be weird at all now that I think about it. I can't say that I saw Rogue blowing the smoke from the gun or winking at Bobby. But I did see two noteworthy things. One, Kurt had been staring right at them when it happened. And two, it was freaking HILARIOUS!

When it happened, of course I looked. Remy was standing there, hands on his ass, eyes wide, and his mouth in a perfect O shape. I really wish I had taken a picture. And then, as if that wasn't hilarious enough, he started screaming bloody murder and fell on his face.

I laughed so hard I cried. It's really been a great day if you ask me.

…

The hospital room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Everyone was looking at Tabitha with the same look; a mix of confusion and disbelief. Except for Remy. He just looked mad.

"I hate you all." He announced to the quiet room.

But no one responded. No one even looked his way. They were all in shock from being exposed to Tabitha's depravity.

Kurt was just scared.

"I get it," Bobby spoke with a hopeful voice. "You're trying to do what I did, right? You're trying to outdo Kitty."

Tabitha just stared. For a full minute. Then slowly, she nodded.

"Of course." She answered in a completely unconvincing tone. "That is exactly what I was doing."

"Well it's not funny, Tabitha!" Kurt said shrilly. "That freaked me out!"

Tabitha just stared.

"Stop it!" Kurt yelled again.

"Yes, please," Rogue moaned into her hands. "This is so stupid—we're wasting time here."

"Hey, look at the upside, Rogue," Scott said consolingly, "at least we're all spending some time together. Think about it; when was the last time we all got together to just talk?"

"Right." Rogue glared. "But now I'm going to tell MY story—"

"I would like to hear Kurt's response to Tabitha's story, first," Professor X said happily. "If you don't mind, Rogue."

"Actually Professor, I DO mind—"

"Yes, that's great," Professor X blew her off and turned his attention on Kurt. "Kurt, tell us. If Tabitha was right, then you were looking right at Remy and Rogue when it happened. Tell us your story, Kurt."

"Oh I'll tell the story, alright." Kurt, eyes wide, said manically. "I'll tell it GOOD!"

"Excellent." Professor X folded his hands over his lap. "Proceed."