A/N: And here we are with another chapter of Oscar's harem escapades!
Reader: Oscar has a harem?
Roll credits.
*credits begin rolling*
*record screech*
Wait, what am I doing? There's still a chapter needing to be read!
Well, here you all go. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY.
Yang tapped her foot as she waited for Blake to answer the door.
…
…
The door opened, showing Blake.
"Finally! What were you doing that took so long?"
"Reading," Blake said with a straight face.
"…Really?"
"It was a good book."
…Oh well, Blake was Blake.
"Well, whatever. So, ready for our trip to the spa?"
Blake blinked. "We were going to the spa?"
"Um, yeah. Remember? We were gonna have a girl's night out between partners. First is a spa trip, and then we go to the club and end the day with a Yang!"
For some reason, many people around the world groaned, including Blake….
As well as a reactive groan from an unconscious Oscar in the closet, but Blake's groan unfortunately overlapped it, so Yang didn't hear it.
"Yeesh, no one had a sense of humor."
"We do. You just plain suck."
"Party pooper."
Blake rolled her eyes. "Right, well…I don't suppose we could reschedule? Something recently came up that's important."
"Really? Like what?"
Riding Oscar's face to oblivion.
"Family matter," Blake said aloud.
"What kind? If you don't mind me asking, that is."
Crap. She needed to come up with something quick. Something that would keep Yang in content and get her to leave sooner so she can get back to her little cinnamon roll!
"…My mom's pregnant."
Damn it, Brain! You couldn't think of a different lie!
You're overloading me with thoughts of "your little cinnamon roll". Cut me some slack!
Yang's eyes widened. "Wait, seriously?"
Blake nodded with the most serious expression she could muster.
"…Wow, didn't think your parents still had it in them."
"Please don't make me think about my parents having sex."
"Well…congrats! You're gonna be a big sister!"
"Yup…yaaaaay."
"You don't seem excited?"
"Do I ever seem excited?"
"Fair point. Still, wow. This is a big deal."
"I know, I know…so~, rain check?"
Yang sighed. "I guess. Call me when you're free?"
"I will," Blake smiled.
"Great. Guess I'll just-."
"I'M COMING OSCAAAAAARR!"
"Ruby?"
"Goddamn it."
Ruby came flying from another building, crashing into Yang and Blake, all three rolling into the apartment. The little rose quickly got up and extended her scythe-rifle.
"Ruby?!" Yang exclaimed. "What are you doing?!"
"Just a minute, Yang," Ruby said, then turned to a staggering Blake. "Alright, Blake, where's Oscar?"
Blake got back to her feet. "I don't know. Have you checked his apartment?"
"Don't play games with me! A random hobo told me he saw Oscar with you!"
"Ruby! What have I told you about talking to strangers?!"
"I'm 17, Yang! Let me be free!"
Blake raised her hands in a calming gesture. "Ruby, I don't know where Oscar is. Yes, he was with me. He explained what happened with him and Weiss, but he left afterward. I don't know where he is."
"Oscar and Weiss?" Yang asked. "What happened with-?"
"Later, Yang!" Ruby glared at Blake. "Is that right?"
Blake nodded. "Yes."
"Then you won't mind if I take a look around?"
"Ruby, this isn't the time to play police officer."
"I think now is the perfect time."
Blake scowled. "Ruby, he's not here. If you're really worried about him, then try-."
The closet door opened, and Oscar stepped out, rubbing his head.
"Ugh, never thought I'd be stuffed in a closet."
He opened his eyes and found Ruby, Blake, and Yang staring at him.
"Um, hi?"
Blake's cat ears drooped. "Why didn't I lock it?"
…
…
"YOU WON'T TAKE MY CINNAMON ROLL!"
Blake leaped at Ruby with the fury of a thousand angry cats. Caught by surprise, she barely managed to block with her scythe, falling back with an angry Blake on top of her. Who surprisingly hissed like a cat and started clawing at Ruby.
"EEP! BLAKE, NO! DON'T FALL BACK ON STEREOTYPES!"
"STEREOTYPES WILL WIN THIS DAY FOR ME!"
Yang, completely confused beyond belief, finally lost it.
"ENOUGH," she roared, her eyes red and hair ablaze.
Everyone froze.
"SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON, RIGHT NOW!"
"Weiss and Blake tried to have sex with me!" Oscar exclaimed.
"I'm trying to save Oscar from getting laid!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Ruby is trying to stop me from claiming my little cinnamon roll!" Blake exclaimed. "Also, I may have lied about the family matter thing. I was trying to get you to leave...sorry.
…
…
"Okay, first off," Yang began. "Ruby. Most guys would normally be pissed about that."
"Yeah, Oscar pointed that out earlier. But he's okay with it, really."
"Uh-huh, sure," Yang said. "Second, Blake…what the fuck?"
"Don't worry, Yang. You'll understand soon and see Oscar for the little cinnamon roll he is."
"Why does everyone keep calling me that?!"
"I mean, you are kinda adorable, Oscar."
"Not helping, Ruby!"
Yang rubbed her eyes. "This is…I'm gonna need time to process this."
Blake drew her weapon. "Well, while you're processing all this, I'M CLAIMING MY LITTLE CINNAMON ROLL!"
"Oh gods!"
"I'm coming, Oscar!"
Yang's eye twitched as the other three got into a tussle. Blake was trying to get at Oscar, Oscar was barely holding her back, and Ruby was choking Blake from behind.
Yang's eyes went red again. "That's it! I'M PUTTING AN END TO THIS!"
She punched Blake in the face, who fell unconscious.
"Hooray for big sis!"
She punched Ruby, who fell unconscious.
"Whoa, Yang! She was helping me!"
She punched Oscar, who fell unconscious.
"There…now there isn't any fighting."
A pizza delivery man looked inside. "Hey, um, I'm looking for Apartment Building D. Do you know where that is?"
Yang punched the man, who fell unconscious.
She blinked. "…Whoops. Got a little punch happy there."
She looked around outside to see there were no witnesses….
She grabbed the pizza and left some money on the man.
"My pizza, now."
Yang went to grab Ruby. "I'll just take Ruby and Oscar away from here so I can find out what the hell's happening."
She reached out for Ruby…but then slowly turned her head towards an unconscious Oscar.
"…Now that I think about it, he really is like a little cinnamon roll…."
Yang moved and hefted Oscar over her shoulder.
"My little cinnamon roll, now~."
She quickly rushed out, tied Oscar to the back of her motorcycle, tied the pizza along with him, and revved her bike.
"Time to show this cinnamon roll a Yangin' good time!"
Many groans were drowned out by the sound of Yang driving her motorcycle down the road that coincidentally happened to lead to a certain well-known club.
A/N: And now Yang has Oscar. And is taking him to a certain club...
I'm sure that'll end well.
Also, Yang! How dare you punch your sister?
Yang: She's taken my punches before when I trained her in hand-to-hand combat. She'll be fine.
Ugh...
Oh well. Poor Ruby and Pizza man.
Oscar: What about me?
Poor Ruby and Pizza man.
Oscar: -_-
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this. See you in the next update.
Laters!