Warnings: Swearing, talk of past struggle with cancer, talk of trauma related to natural disaster, talk of anxiety

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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CHAPTER 4:

Sebastian couldn't sit still the next day. He couldn't believe how excited he was. He felt like a kid waiting to go to the candy store. He was tapping his fingers so much during last period algebra that he got sent to the library because he was distracting the other students. Sebastian didn't mind though because it meant he could get away with leaving before the rush.

And sure as the sun rises in the east, Sebastian was already in the parking lot when the final bell rang. Nick was leaning against his car with a smile and his hair swept back by the wind. Sebastian felt his breath leave him as he walked over and let Nick embrace him.

"Hey Sebastian. How are you?"

"I'm good. You?"

"Grand," Nick said with a goofy smile. "You may have to jiggle the handle a bit."

Sebastian nodded as he tried to open the door, getting it on the first try. "Your car must like me."

Nick laughed. "Why wouldn't she?"

"She?" Sebastian asked after climbing in.

"I call her Nora. A beat up old pickup truck like her needed a respectable southern name," Nick explained. He started it up and the truck spluttered before roaring to life. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Whatever you say," Sebastian laughed as they pulled out of the lot.

"How was your day?" Nick asked as they sped down the highway.

"Not too bad. Couldn't focus though. Got kicked out of algebra."

"Ouch. Is that bad?"

"A little, not really. I do better at algebra when I'm on my own anyway. I can think more clearly. A lot of the teachers think I need to be monitored or something. I'm actually pretty smart though."

"So what are your best subjects?" Nick asked as they drove.

"Uh, I dunno. English and Lit probably."

"You like to read?"

"When I can concentrate long enough to, yeah. I find it hard to find books that I like, ones that I can focus on."

"What's your favourite?"

Sebastian thought for a moment. "Peter Pan."

"Why?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Because it's simple. It's carefree. I wouldn't be anxious in Never Land."

"Why are you anxious? If you don't mind me asking."

"We used to move around a lot when I was younger. Dad used to work for the army. We were living just outside of New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina hit. Mom hid me and my sister in the basement, did all the right things. Dad was at work. But it was so loud and every time I close my eyes I can just hear the wind and the rain and the breaking glass. I was so sure we were gonna die. And then we didn't, and we had to leave and … I was never the same."

They were stopped at a set of traffic lights and Sebastian slowly turned to Nick, the sad expression on his face almost too much for Sebastian.

"I didn't think… God, that's just horrible. I can't imagine it…" Nick murmured.

Sebastian shrugged again. "You don't want to."

Nick reached for his hand and the calmness swept over him again. But it didn't dull the sound of shattering glass that echoed in his mind.

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As Sebastian stood in Nick's kitchen, he remembered just how messy cooking could be. They had only made the dough so far but Sebastian had flour covering up to his elbows and smudges of dough on his face. Nick was worse than he was but it was insanely cute.

As Sebastian watched Nick roll out the dough, he noticed scars on his arms and hands.

"What are the scars from?" Sebastian asked as he leaned against the bench.

Nick glanced to his arms before looking to Sebastian. "Work. Every single one."

Sebastian frowned. "How?"

"Burns – fumbling with pans, getting splashed with hot water or oil. I've only got myself on the knives once or twice. My parents were horrified the first time it happened," Nick laughed. "I've had worse."

Sebastian bristled before asking "What kind of worse?"

"Bone marrow aspirations were never fun," Nick said as his eyes glazed over with memories. "And the chemo made me so sick…"

"Did you lose your hair?" Sebastian didn't know why he kept asking questions.

"No," Nick straightened, wiping at his nose. "No, I wasn't on any of the drugs that take your hair. Do you wanna grab the tomato paste from the fridge? I'm just gonna wash my hands."

Sebastian nodded and headed to the fridge, taking the tomato paste from its shelf as Nick washed his hands. But Sebastian could still hear the hitching breaths as he tried to calm down. But they got back to cooking and it seemed all had been forgotten. Nick was laughing again and Sebastian felt there was no need to dwell on things he didn't understand.

They finished making the pizza and put it in the oven before retreating to the living room. Nick collapsed into one of the couches, Sebastian tentatively sitting beside him. Nick's eyes were closed so Sebastian took the opportunity to glance around. He noticed on a bookshelf there were photos and when he zeroed in on them, he realised they were all of Nick. In some he was smiling or with friends – in one he was even wearing a Dalton blazer. But in others, he was pale and fragile-looking. Sebastian couldn't understand why they would keep pictures of him when he was sick – isn't that something you try to forget?

"Those were taken just before I had a bone marrow transplant."

Sebastian jumped slightly when Nick spoke before slowly turning back to him. "How long ago was that?"

"Just under a year ago," Nick forced a smile. "Doesn't feel that long though."

Sebastian nodded but he didn't know what else to say.

Nick leaned back against the couch. "I really like you, Sebastian."

Oh god. He's going to tell me something horrible. Is he dying? Is he breaking up with me? Is he moving? Am I annoying? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

Nick didn't say anything; he reached for Sebastian's hand and pulled him closer. His hand moved up over Sebastian's arm and onto his shoulder before Nick curled his fingers into Sebastian's hair. Sebastian could feel Nick's breath against his cheek and was trying to control his own breathing as Nick leaned up to close the gap. Nick's lips brushed against his own and Sebastian didn't know what to do. He froze up, feeling his heart quicken before Nick pulled away. He felt Nick's hand stroking his hair before he heard him saying his name.

"Sebastian? Come on, say something. Have I done something wrong?"

Sebastian shook his head before choking out a "No".

Nick stroked his hair again, laughing softly. "You haven't done this before, have you?"

Sebastian blushed and shook his head again.

"It's okay," Nick murmured before taking Sebastian's hand. "I can show you if you want. Just squeeze my hand if you want me to stop?"

Sebastian nodded his agreement and he let Nick kiss him again. It was soft and wet but it felt kind of weird. Something stirred gently in his stomach before Sebastian slowly kissed Nick back. Kissing Nick was strange but it seemed right and part of Sebastian wondered why they hadn't done it until now. He carefully reached his free hand towards Nick's knee, smiling as the other boy gasped softly into the kiss. Nick laughed softly before he mirrored Sebastian, gently stroking his knee with his thumb as their lips moved together.

Nick broke the kiss, breathing in deeply before he laughed softly. Spittle dangled from his mouth and he wiped it away before looking to Sebastian.

"Was that better?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," Sebastian murmured.

"We should go check on the pizza."

Sebastian nodded. He had actually forgotten about the pizza. He let Nick lead him back to the kitchen where they found the pizza was beautifully cooked. Nick set it down on a wooden board on the bench before looking to Sebastian.

"It'll take a while to cool."

Sebastian shuffled closer, reaching out to gently touch Nick's hip. "Could we..?"

Nick smiled as he held Sebastian's hand where it was. "Oh we definitely could."

Sebastian felt a goofy grin spread over his face before he and Nick returned to the living room. Sebastian let Nick push him onto the couch, watching somewhat nervously as Nick climbed over him before leaning down and kissing him softly. Hands roamed over bodies and moans wound their way out of throats as lips sucked and smacked together. Sebastian had grasped a handful of Nick's shirt and gently rolled his hips forward before he heard the front door open.

Oh shit.

"Hey Nick, I'm – oh… I'll uh; I'll be in the kitchen."

Nick had clambered off of Sebastian just in time for the younger boy to watch Mr Duval scurry down the hallway. Nick looked to Sebastian apologetically as he sat up.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Sebastian managed a laugh. "I've just had a new life experience."

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A/N: Teehee, I enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long to post – I ended up in the city yesterday buying more books and then last night I had friends over so I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write when I finally got the chance to. But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless :) Thank you for reading and I hope you're having a wonderful day –Em xoxo