Ahhhh!

Sorry I haven't been updating! The only excuse I have is my horrid combination of school and work.

But please enjoy this chapter, there will definitely be more to come :)

"If I don't submit someone to Jashin-sama's will every now and then, Jashin-sama will take back all the powers he's given me. The pain right now is just a little, but it's a sign that he's growing impatient…. The pain will grow, though. It'll get serious in a week or so if I don't…you know…" Hidan trailed off. He had already told Sakura about how Jashin-sama expected him kill those that caused others pain, but he hadn't told her what would happen if he didn't. He knew it would sour her towards his way of living, so he had tried to put it off as long as possible. But now, if he tried to avoid the calling any longer, the consequences would be dire.

Chapter 4

Hidan's Lack of Words

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So, that's it, huh?

He's going to kill someone else or he gets killed.

Isn't there another way?

How can someone be so barbaric? To treat living people as mere peons or tokens?

A human life….you just can't put a price on it! It's not some method of bartering! Once a life is gone, it's gone! You can't reverse it!

A human life can only be replaced with another human life. That's what Grandmother Chiyo taught me. That's how she saved Gaara.

Sakura's thoughts were interrupted by her partner's murmurs,

"I know what you're thinking now, that I'm a horrible person. That I kill people just for the sake of killing them; just because Jashin-sama said that I have to so that I don't get punished...and let me tell you, you're not wrong. I am a an awful person. After knowing all this, I don't know how you can even stand to be around me anymore." Sakura was about to say something, but he cut her off again without realizing that she wanted to speak.

"Most believe that my religion is full of inhumane practices, but really that's all a matter of how you look at things. A matter of perspective. Your friend back in Konoha, that Deer-boy, what was his name? Shakamara? He would agree."

Sakura balked. She really didn't want to think about this anymore. It was too much.

"Hidan…" her voice was low and weak. She stood up even though her legs were trembling. She bolted out of the room before finishing her sentence. Hidan yelled after her in shock as he grabbed for her hand. But she was too quick and he was off guard.

Hidan cursed and ran a hand through his hair. He had wanted her to stay so he could finish explaining or at least hear what she thought about his issue. He let out a frustrated sigh. He knew that it was an information overload for Sakura. Obviously, he had an inkling of how she felt, but he wanted her to know everything and then hear her response clearly from her own lips. He had taken the risk but had expected too much from her. He definitely did not think that she would run away. She wasn't like that. But the fact that she just did probably meant that this subject was really hard for her to hear. This definitely said something about her feelings. And now she was gone. She had just run away from him.

Shit.

Hidan slapped himself, grabbed his cloak, and took off out of the room as well. He had to find her. There was a chance she would still be in the house or somewhere nearby. But even though she hadn't grabbed her things before leaving, she could take the extreme route and completely high-tail it out of there and away from him. He had to find her quick before she had a chance to run far if that is what she did. He was absolutely mad with worry about her. He didn't want her to run away from him! She was one of the few people whose existence actually mattered to him. He cared about her and there was no way he would let her run off believing that he's some horrible, sadistic monster who needs to kill others to stay alive…even though that is basically who he was, she wasn't allowed to think that way. She just couldn't.

He ran out of the house and searched the entire town. At each place he stopped at and didn't see her, he angrily cursed and asked for Jashin's help to find her. He was pretty sure that some of the townspeople heard him. They would likely get up in the morning and perform some sort of anti-curse ceremony thinking that he put a hex on all of their homes.

The town was small, it didn't take very long before he returned empty handed to the house they were spending the night at. He sluggishly walked by the sitting room and noticed that the woman whose house they were staying at was relaxed into a chair and reading a book in the low light from a handful of flickering candles. She didn't look up at him when he stared at her tiredly.

"If you're looking for your wife, she's in the kitchen."

Hidan's eyes widened in surprise at the unfamiliar word. Wife. Then he remembered who she was referring to and who he was after. There was a childish flicker of hope within him.

"Thank you!" Hidan turned to go but stopped, his foot still lifted in the air. He turned around sheepishly,

"Ah…Oba-san, where is the kitchen?"

She gave a small, tight smile as she finally looked up.

"Around the corner. She looked upset. It was obviously your fault. Are you ready to talk to her again?"

Hidan who was tensed up and ready to run to the kitchen, paused and looked at the woman, frowning. She stared at him with knowing eyes. She was a total stranger and yet, somehow, she had figured out the mess he was in already. He speculated whether to talk to her or not. This anonymous old lady who had given the two shinobi her home for the night. Finally, he replied in a measured tone,

"I don't know if I am ready to talk to her, it's more important that she's willing to hear everything I have to say." I give up. I'm no good at....people things. Or Sakura things. Jashin-sama...I don't think you have a girlfriend.

The woman shut her book and laid in her lap.

"Did you make a mistake?"

Hidan sighed and leaned against the doorway as he ran a hand through his hair for the hundredth time that night.

"Lady, I've made a lot of mistakes, but she's not upset about those."

"I see. You know her well enough to be sure of this?"

"I do." His facial expression was relaxed.

"I do not think I can be of any help to a married couple such as yourselves, but tell me why she's in the kitchen right now by herself. She wanted to get away from you."

Hidan rubbed his temple and looked down guiltily.

"We had a disagreement over something."

"I see. Do you love her?" Hidan flinched at the old lady's directness. Jashin-sama! What is this? An interrogation? I bet she's getting a kick out of it.

"I have to make sure she's okay. I'm going now."

Hidan abruptly walked away from the lady as he blushed angrily.

"I see." The woman said again to herself as she watched him leave. Picking up her book, she continued reading from where she had left off.

---------

Sakura stood with her face leaning against the cool glass of the kitchen window. The night was pitch black outside. She couldn't even see any stars. She huffed in frustration and the condensation built up on the glass immediately. She backed up and picked up her glass of water. She swirled it around for a moment then raised the glass to her lips. Right when she was about to take a sip, she heard her name and then a great sigh of relief. Looking up, she saw Hidan as he entered the kitchen. When she met his eyes, he paused. She didn't say anything. Her face was neutral. Her eyes were big and glassy as she held his gaze, she looked like she could cry at any moment, but they were watery only because she had been thinking so hard. She was looking at him in a new light. He took a tentative step forward.

"Hidan." He stopped moving at the sound of her voice. He felt that she might bound away like a frightened rabbit at the smallest movement.

"Do you hate me? If you do, I don't blame you. That's completely normal since mo-"

"Hidan, I don't hate you." Hidan's mouth was still formed around 'mo' but once he processed what he had heard, his eyes lit up from their original gloomy state and he immediately straightened up and smiled.

"Really? Oh…well, that's a relief. Hehehe…a first if-" But he was growing impatient. He was bursting with the need to tell her everything he could. He was worried that the longer he didn't clarify, the harder it would become to erase any misgivings that she had.

"But I despise what you intend to do." Her words were harsh but her face did not show any antagonism. It looked like she was simply stating a fact. Hidan's own face fell. He was about to speak again but she cut him off before he could even get a single word out.

"I don't know how else to feel right now, Hidan. And…we still have this mission to do."

"If you don't want to be with me, that's fine. I can do this mission alone as long as I know that you're safe and you don't hate me."

Immediately Sakura's blank face turned furious and she shoved his shoulder, though it had no effect.

"Hidan, you jerk! That's the second time you've told me to leave! Who do you think you're talking to? I'm your partner on this mission, for god's sake. We're in this together!"

"Ow." Hidan rubbed the spot where she hit him and looked at her solemnly. Although he was thankful that she didn't hate him, he definitely preferred for her not to be there. But how in the world could he tell that to her? He severely wished that he could simply relay his feelings to her rather then his reasons. He knew for a fact that people sympathized with feelings faster then with cold, hard facts.

"Sakura, I don't want you to see what I'll have to do for this mission. You know what I'm going to have to do eventually." Sakura looked at him as if she were about to say something but stopped. She looked away frowning and hugged herself. Hidan took another step forward.Okay, if she's yelling at me...then that's good, at least she's not somewhere else not-talking to me.

"I-I know. I know what you have to do. But I'll deal with it when the time comes. For now, we're going to continue our mission."

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut. It was hard, really, really hard, for her not to do something about it. But, in the end, it all came down to a basic principle.

You can't condemn someone for something they haven't done yet.

And Hidan had most definitely not done that yet.

Therefore, she would stay with him for as long as possible.

"I'm definitely not going anywhere."She reiterated the most important thing.

After her admission there was silence. She cracked open her eyes to find Hidan staring at her stoically. He was at a loss. There was the immediate sense of relief in that part of him that sought instant gratification, but then other part, the smarter part that knew better, let out a long, sorrowful sigh. It's only satisfaction would come from knowing that this important, pink haired person was somewhere safe and far away and not scared.

The heavy long seconds ticked away before he carefully grabbed her shoulders and brought their faces together. The entire time, neither broke eye-contact. It was a daring move on both their parts.

Sakura's pulse quickened. She was sure of what would happen next. Her body seemed to become extra sensitive and she could feel the heat coming off of the man in front of her. Where his hand was on her shoulder, the skin seemed to be burning. Did he realize what he was doing?

And then he tilted his head forward slowly and Sakura watched through half-lidded eyes as his features blurred out as he got closer and closer. She was barely breathing anymore. She knew for certain what would happen next and outside of that, there wasn't a single other thought in her head. The brilliant mind that she took so much pride in was now blank. This would be her first real kiss. She could feel his breath on her cheek.

"What are you thinking? Right now?" He breathed and his words feathered across her face. Hidan knew very well what he was doing and what effect he was having on her. He wanted her to understand everything. He wanted her to know. He wanted to kiss her.

Perhaps that was the answer to all his prayers. He might transfer all his feelings onto her, into her and then, perhaps she would finally understand and listen and do as he wanted her to.

"N-Nothing." She stammered. It was the truth. In anticipation, her mind was void of rationale.

She heard him sigh and then a heavy weight deposited itself on her right shoulder. His hands dropped from her shoulders to her sides, enveloping around her and pulling close. Suddenly, Inner-Sakura was wide awake and protesting as loud and as hard as the sane do at gas prices during holiday season.

WHATWHATWHATWHAT!!!!

What happened?

Nothing! Nothing happened! And I was sooo ready for it!

Forget that...he's hugging me now!

Sakura could feel it every time he took a breath. Every time his heart beat. He was that close. And then,
she realized that he could probably feel her breath and her escalating heart beat as well.

Not good, Sakura. You need to calm down.

Do you want him to know how high you're feeling right now?

She tapped into some of her chakra and forced her body to calm down.

Hidan had stopped himself. He had to. He had the smallest inkling that if he did not stop himself, then things might take a turn for something more complicated.

"Thank Jashin you're still here. Don't scare me like that again. I thought you ran away. Seriously. I know we've been over this, but I dragged my ass all over this Jashin-forsaken town looking for you." He sounded angry, but he was talking into her crook of her neck. She couldn't see his face at the moment but she could feel his lips move to shape every word he said.

Sakura looked at him wide-eyed in shock, her mouth seemed to be working but no words were coming out. Hidan lifted his head to look at her and his eyes softened. He was about to say something, but a split second later, he changed his mind and looked away from her. Trying to focus on anything but the pink-haired girl, he stood straight abruptly and ran a hand through his hair. This was the closest he'd gotten to her. To showing her his true feelings. It was annoying that he held back. He didn't want to, but he felt compelled to not let their relationship get anymore complicated then it already was. They were in that hazy place that's more then friends, but not lovers. A symbiotic partnership, perhaps? No, they weren't animals. Hidan cursed himself for even comparing their relationship to a lifeform less then a human.

Regardless of what their relationship could be considered, both Hidan and Sakura thought exactly the same thing: That was close.

Sakura was even more confused then before. She knew she had feelings for him. And worse yet, she was beginning to suspect that they were on that same level as they had been for that Uchiha way back when, if not greater. Maybe it was just hormones. She blinked tersely. If it really was her hormones, then her hormones had the worst timing in the world. Popping up during a mission like this.

She touched the side of her neck where he had rested his head. The place felt empty suddenly. Cold; devoid of the hothead's heat. Her fingers not finding the weight she had so clearly felt should be there, simply clamped around the back of her neck. She cast a furtive glance over her arm towards Hidan who looked like he was busy counting on his rosary. His lips were moving. She stared a little longer trying to read them, wondering if he was being an ass and counting again. Suddenly his lips stopped moving and he looked up. She quickly looked away trying to suppress her blush and hoping for all hope that he didn't just see her blush like a little girl.

Those damned hormones. Why now?

Sure, blame the hormones.

A soft smile played on her lips in spite of herself and her antics, but it was only there for a second before it faded with her next thoughts.

Why was it that her heart went out to this man, her partner, and wanted to get closer to him but at the same time, repel him? It was as if he were a magnet, but rather then having his polarities straight, the electrons were spinning like mad all over the place. There were so many things that attracted her to him, but at the same time, there were so many things that absolutely repelled her. Pushed her away. So much so that it hurt.

She pursed her lips and started out of the kitchen. Hidan watched her exit the kitchen completely before he quietly followed. This time he was seriously praying to Jashin to help him keep his cool. They made it back to their room. Sakura had already taken up the vacant side of the bed. Hidan reached up over his shoulder and pulled off his cloak before tossing it onto the dresser chair.

Immediately, the movement caused him to flinch in pain and he grunted. And Sakura noticed right away. Of course she would, there was no reason for her to ever not notice. After all that was said and done, he had somehow worked his way into being one of her most cherished people.

That thought alone made him feel decidedly unsure of himself. Hidan groaned in frustration with himself. Unfortunately, Sakura took this as a sign of pain.

So while Sakura went into medic mode and buzzed around him, he let her. At least that way, he would have a chance to think about what kind of a mess he was in now.

'A Mess' he called it because that is exactly what was going to happen. He had a short, sweet, simple plan for Akatsuki and originally, Sakura hadn't really been part of the equation. He had been planning on leaving her safe; someplace away from those bastards. But now….things were getting very, very complicated. And it wasn't just because he had to find a sacrifice.

After the healing, the two shinobi awkwardly came to agree that it was now time to hit the sack. Not literally of course. Although if there were sacks, it would have made the situation much easier since they'd each have their own. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. Unfortunately, it was a single bed.

"Umm…well…"

"I'll get the lights, you go ahead first." Hidan said quickly, hoping to at least be not be able to see their awkward predicament in the dark. He didn't look at her as he got up to flick the light switch by the door.

"Ok…" Sakura quickly and quietly got under the covers and scooted to one side as far as she could and still be comfortable. When he could hear no more rustling, he clicked the lights off and carefully turned around in the dark, slowly maneuvering his way to the edge of the bed.

On his way though, he manage to bump into a wall, the vanity, the night stand, and finally, finally, the solid wooden feet of the bed. It wasn't until the last object, right before his final destination that he stubbed his toe really, really hard into the bottom of the bed frame. This time, he couldn't hold it in. He cursed. A colorful string of words that made Sakura's ears perk up and her eyes pop open. He fell to the bed clutching his toe. A few seconds later, the sharp pain faded to a dull ache. He groaned and flopped back onto his pillow.

After realizing what he'd just done, he of course slapped his forehead and decided to be a little more careful while actually on the bed now. He lay there quietly, flat on the bed, as straight as a board. Afraid to move too much lest it bother Sakura who was still lying on her side with her back to him. Neither of them said a word.

Hidan was most acutely aware that there was a girl lying on the bed beside him. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not, but he could feel the heat that her body emitted. He could hear her steady breathing. He counted the seconds between each soft breath.

1…2…3…4

It was four. Exactly four seconds between each breath. He turned slightly to look at her form. He grimaced. He had forgotten it was dark and that he wouldn't be able to see anything.

She wasn't moving or anything. She was probably asleep.

Well…that makes one of us.

Then Hidan's eyes widened and he nearly gasped aloud as he thought of something utterly important.

How can she sleep so easily on the same bed as a guy!?

He curled onto his side and scowled into the dark where she should be.

Jashin damnit! Why is she so comfortable like this?

He directed his questions towards her, fuming, hoping somehow that they would reach her through some form of hidden subconscious telepathy.

There were a dozen different scenarios running through his mind as he tried to figure out the answer. As he thought about it more and more, he had the niggling suspicion that she had slept with other men before.

NO! Sakura would never do that! She's not that type of girl! Get a hold of yourself Hidan!

The intensity of Hidan's thoughts flared up the dull beginnings of a headache. He turned back onto his back and clutched his head between his hands, pushing down on his pillow.

Jashin help me!

"Hidan...are you still up?" Sakura's whisper pulled Hidan out of his frenzied state. Disoriented, he couldn't help but stutter as he replied all too quickly like an eager little school boy.

"Y-yeah. I'm awake. What is it?"

"No...it's nothing..."

Hidan knew that it was a fact of life that whenever a girl said those exact words, it was an all out lie. A blashpemy, if you will. There was never 'nothing'; there was always something. And fortunately for Hidan, it was this something that he was going to cling on to for dear life to get his mind out of the gutter and stop worrying about Sakura and her sleeping habits.

"Jashin told me there's something. So spit it out." Hidan waited for an answer, instead he heard a rustling of the covers. Sakura was moving around.

Jashin-sama! What is she doing?

He waited. And waited some more. Finally he heard a sigh...and was that a giggle? Of all things Sakura was allowed to do in a situation like hers, giggling like a little girl was not one of them. At least, according to Hidan.

Sakura! What are you doing?! This is no time to be giggling! Dammit, don't go crazy on me!

But even as Hidan mentally shouted that, he couldn't help but wonder why in the world this girl was giggling in the middle of a dangerous, S-Class mission.

"It's...This is weird."

Huh?

"Huh?"

"I've never slept like this before..." She said. Hidan breathed a sigh of relief as knot of tension released itself from his mind. And then she continued, "I mean, i've slept with you before-"

Hidan nearly jumped out of the bed at that. Wondering how in the world he had slept with Sakura before and not remember it. Had Jashin-Sama wiped his memory away? No freakin way. Hidan was about to pull his rosary out from underneath the covers to start praying again but a tug on blanket made Hidan realize that Sakura was still talking.

"-but you've always been...you know..."

I've always been what? 'You know' what?!

Hidan blinked in the dark and forced himself to calm down.

"I...I've been what, Sakura?"

"You know....you've always been on my dresser....in a box....and not on my bed."

Ah....Jashin dammit all. That's what she was talking about.

Hidan let out a small nervous laugh. It was more because he felt like a fool for thinking what he did, and less for Sakura's benefit. But more or less, that laugh did make her feel better.

They woke up the next morning in the most unlikely of positions.

Sakura found herself on the floor and Hidan jerked awake because he nearly suffocated himself in the blanket he was wrapped in.

Both too embarrassed about their individual situations, they got up quietly and got ready, taking turns going into the rest room and getting changed in the bedroom.

As Sakura strapped her kunai holster in place, she let out a morose sigh. It was irritating that her muscles ached but one couldn't expect anything else when sleeping on the floor in unnatural positions. Clicking her tongue, she administered to herself with some chakra and paid no mind to this extra task because in a situation like hers, it definitely could have been worse.

When Hidan and Sakura finally began eating the hot breakfast that their host had prepared for them, they nearly choked; one on coffee, the other on some toast; because they looked outside at the same time.

The sun was nearly at its zenith.

The old lady watched them with an amused expression that niether of the shinobi could ever imagine her to have. The two were moving in near synchronization as soon as they got sense of the time. Their sense of urgency was snapped silmultaneously into action.

"So I take it that you two are on better terms today then last night." She gazed at them from across a table laden with un-burned toast and jam, honey and steaming oatmeal, berries, fresh coffee, and even warm milk.

"Oh yes, of course." Sakura nodded vigorously as she stuffed an entire slice of toast in her mouth before taking a swig of coffee in a way no drunkard could compare to beer.

"This food is very good, Oba-san." Hidan added as he reached across for another helping.

"We're actually running very late now. I'm sorry that we're pigging out like this." Sakura ungracefully shoveled more into her mouth and wrapped a few more morsels in napkins to take along on the trip. It wasn't often that shinobi had such a platter laid out before them for breakfast. Besides that, they were in a hurry. They were already a few hours behind thanks to falling asleep late and making up for it the morning.

They made small talk in between bites and swallows over the next few minutes until everything was cleared away.

The shinobi thanked the woman and paid her at the door. Hidan even bowed his head just a tad in respect, which earned him an incredulous look from Sakura who wondered if the food they had been given was really worth so much to him.

"Oh yes, take this as well." The lady handed Sakura a satchel.

"Hmm...what is it?" She looked at it quizzically.

"Herbs for women's things. You should take care of yourself, kunoichi." It took a minute before it clicked and Sakura blushed furiously before thanking her and stuffing the satchel inside one of her pockets.

Hidan, who still hadn't figured things out and probably never would, asked most uncouthly as they turned to leave,

"What was the package that she just gave you? More food?"

"No, nothing. It was nothing. Which way are we going?" She quickly walked ahead of him and he picked up the pace to follow her, unsure if she had just avoided his question or not.

"Eh...oh, north. We're going north first. We'll hit the border in about a hundred miles."

"Ok, I'm guessing we can tell when we hit a wall of water." She called over her shoulder as she leapt into the forest right outside the village border.

"Yeah. Hey!" He chased after her disappearing figure, wondering when and how they had switched places. He always thought that he was the one who was always hurrying to get to Rain country....so how did this happen?