Holy crackers and cheese... HELP ME! I'M TRAPPED IN A CRACK FIC! I can't stop!

Ok! Names! Yes, I got creative here.

Rachel Nightingale- Last name in honor of Florence Nightingale, who was a nurse in the 1800's, an era when women in medicine was unheard of. She was a beacon for women's rights and was famous for her iron will, determination and steadfast compassion. I think it's only fitting that Ratchet should be named in her honor.

Irene Hide- Think about it. Duh. Yeah, she's a cop.

Sunny Streaker- Duh.

Sophie Swipe- Duh.

Becky Bee- Think about it. There ya go.

By the way! There is now a Cervical Cancer vaccine! Girls, don't risk it. Get vaccinated. Cervical Cancer kills...Being dead sucks. (I'm not a doctor. I am not a replacement for seeing a doctor. I am not qualified to give medical advise... Don't sue me. What I'm saying is go talk to your doctor about it. It could save your life.)

3 months later-

Sam woke to the sound of someone throwing up. Instantly he reached for Bee. Finding the bed next to him vacant, he started to panic. Getting to his feet, he followed the wretching sounds. Opening the bedroom door he found Bee half way down the hall on her hands and knee's, her bright blue eyes wide with fear.

"S...S...Sa...HURRRRRRRK"

Sam winced as Bumblebee threw up all over the hallway floor, tears streaking down her cheeks and knelt beside her, tenderly rubbing her back in an attempt to offer comfort. . "It's gonna be ok Bee..."

"Sam... I... I think I need... R...Ratchet..."

Nodding Sam gently scooped Bee into his arms. Bee curled up, resting her head against his chest with a soft moan, her lashes fluttering as her eyes slid closed. Sam carefully stepped over the pile of throw up on the floor and thought on how ironic this situation was. For the first time ever, he was carrying Bee instead of Bee carrying him.

Ratchet looked up from the thick medical text she was pouring over when they walked into the warehouse. In the three months since they had become "human", the warehouse had been turned into a loft of sorts so that Sam and Bee could have the house to themselves.

Ratchet had even created a human version of her med bay and Ironhide, now legally known as Irene Hide, was working on putting together a weapon collection to fit her new size. They even had a shooting range, where she spent her free time after work. Irene Hide had only been with the LAPD for two months, but she was quickly making a name for herself as a hard core cop.

Ratchet, now legally known as Rachel Nightingale, had managed to by-pass years of schooling and get a medical license, thanks to friends in the government. Sam was grateful that she didn't to be at work for another two hours as he carried Bee in. Pushing aside her studying, Ratchet got to her feet, motioning for Sam to put Bee on the hospital bed in her new med bay. Bee looked up at the doc tiredly.

"What happened?"

"I think I broke my tummy..."

Ratchet smirked and stuck a thermometer in Bee's mouth, missing her scanners terribly as she checked Bee's pulse. Sam watched, worried.

"I think she has a stomach flu Ratch. She was throwing up when I found her..."

"Blood in the vomit?"

"No"

"Fainting or dizziness?"

"No."

Ratchet pulled out the thermometer and looked at it critically.

"Well, I doubt your dying Bee. You do not have a fever and your skin tone is normal. If your only symptom is vomiting, I tend to agree with Sam. Stomach flu is a common illness among humans and it matches your symptoms. Just to be certain, I would like to run some tests."

Ratchet reached into a drawer, pulling out a needle for drawing blood and a cup. "You have a choice Bee. Blood test or urine sample."

"I wanna pee in a cup!"

Sam couldn't help but chuckle at Bee's enthusiastic answer. Bee had never liked needles and had thrown a fit when Ratchet had insisted they all be vaccinated against everything from Measles to Cervical Cancer. Bee grabbed the cup and ran for the bathroom. She emerged moments later, handing Ratchet a now filled cup. Ratchet wrinkled her nose and got to work doing lab work on it. "I'll have the results in one hour. Until I do, make sure you drink lots of fluids and stay in bed. Nothing strenuous and if your symptoms worsen, come see me immediately. Understand?"

"Yes sir... Am I done?"

Ratchet nodded, not looking up from her microscope.

"Sam?"

"Yeah Bee?"

"Will you carry me again?"

Sam smiled, scooping up his Bee and carrying her back to the house. Bumblebee purred, snuggling against her Sam.

23 minutes later-

Ratchet looked up from her microscope, grabbing a medical text and thumbing through it, then checking the microscope again. A slow grin crossed her face. "Well I'll be damned."

CLIFF HANGER! GASP!