Sleeping Jashinist

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

Shikamaru was absolutely exhausted. A walk from Naruto's house that would normally take about 20 minutes, had taken almost an hour. It was understandable that Hidan was going to be confused, having been asleep for a few hundred years, but it was nearly 2 in the morning and it was getting really troublesome. It had taken him nearly ten minutes to persuade him that the street light was not going to suck out his soul and that he was safe to walk under it. And as for the cars... well he'd had to hold the other man back to stop him from attacking it with his scythe.

"But it's a fucking monster! I need to fucking kill it!"

"It's not a monster it's a car! Like a carriage that moves by itself"

"So it's fucking witchcraft?"

"Ugh, so troublesome. No it isn't, its science"

"What the fuck is that?"

"You know what? Never mind I'll explain later, just move"

Hidan was also moving extremely slowly, clenching his scythe in his hand and scowling as if expecting to be attacked by someone. Shikamaru really hoped there were no police around because this would be very hard to explain. By the time they finally got to his street, they'd already had to hide behind several bushes to avoid being spotted by any passersby. He was really not in the mood to talk to any of his neighbours about this.

"Right, this is my house"

"That's it? It's fucking tiny!"

Shikamaru just ignored the fool, and unlocked the front door. No lights were on which meant his mum had decided to stay the night at his grandmothers, as he hadn't said whether he'd be going home. As for his dad well... he was almost always off working on something. Flicking on the light switch he gestured for the other to come in. Hidan backed away.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Light up the fucking house like that!"

"It's electricity. All you do is flick a switch"

"What the fuck is electricity?"

"Do you have to swear so much?"

"Fuck you!"

"Troublesome... Electricity is like... lightening I guess. Except you can use it to power things"

"I don't get it"

"I didn't expect you to, now come in I'm tired, and it'll be easier to explain you to my mum when I've had some sleep"

Hidan reluctantly followed him into the house, not without muttering a small prayer to his god though. It wasn't a very big house. If anything it was smaller than average, but as there was only 3 of them it was good enough. The garden was pretty big anyway, and that's how he liked it.

"Now as we don't have a spare room you'll have to sleep on the sofa, over there" Hidan took one look at the battered old chair, and scowled.

"I'm not fucking sleeping there"

"Well there's nowhere else"

"Where are you fucking sleeping?"

"My room. And can't you stop swearing?"

"Let me sleep on your fucking bed then!"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're only a fucking peasant and it's your job to fucking serve me"

"For god's sake, fine" Anything to get some sleep. "Follow me"

Shikamaru's room was the first one you came to at the top of the stairs. It was just the right size, with a desk, a bookcase, and a bed. He was a pretty simple person, so he only needed the bare essentials.

"That's it?" Hidan apparently was not impressed.

"It's either this or the sofa. Now go to sleep" Shutting the door on the annoying one, he grabbed a blanket from the airing cupboard, and threw himself onto the sofa not bothering to get changed.

Too tired to think... Just go to sleep and maybe it'll all be a dream when you wake up.

-Page Break-

Hidan awoke with a jolt. He was lying in the stupid peasants bed (He couldn't be bothered with his name), and he really needed to piss.

"Fuck!" Hissing to himself, he pulled himself up and went about looking for the chamber pot. It wasn't under the bed like they usually were, but maybe people kept them in a different place nowadays. He had been asleep a long time.

There were lots of things that it could be, but they were all filled with weird objects. Getting desperate now, he felt around in the dark feeling like a moron. Hidan didn't understand how to use the light thing that the peasant had used so he was reduced to feeling about.

Finally he found a small container on the floor. It had some strange brown stuff at the bottom, but he didn't care he was desperate.

"Here's the fucker!" And he sighed as he relieved himself in the small blue container.

-Page Break-

"Hey fucker!"

...What is that?

"I'm talking to you shithead!"

Ugh so troublesome.

"Wake the fuck up!" Shikamaru was forced into consciousness as a heavy object was bought down on his head. Squinting, he looked up at the scowling magenta eyes above him.

... It appears it wasn't a dream... Troublesome

Sighing he pulled himself up.

"What is it Hidan?"

"I want something to fucking eat"

"Kitchens there" Replied Shikamaru gesturing lazily towards the door. The outraged shriek suggested he wasn't going to get a break.

"It's supposed to be your fucking job! I already had to find the fucking chamber pot by myself! You're fucking useless!"

Chamber pot?

"Err... What do you mean chamber pot?"

"You know, the thing you piss in"

"Oh... What did you use?"

"What do you fucking think? The pot on the floor"

Oh. Shit.

Jumping up off the sofa, Shikamaru ran up the stairs faster than he'd ever moved in his life. He threw the door open and surveyed his room. Everything looked the same, except... The little blue flowerpot his grandmother had given him. He had planted a seed in it, and left it on the floor in the corner, where there was always a patch of sunlight. Looking at it now, he doubted the plant would be doing very much growing.

So troublesome...

-Page Break-

After showing Hidan the toilet, and promising severe pain if he tried to use anything else as a chamber pot, Shikamaru had cleaned out the pot. Leaving it to soak in strong cleaning liquid, he went down to the kitchen to get breakfast knowing there'd be hell to pay if it wasn't ready soon.

He'd managed to keep the other temporarily entertained by giving him a book full of paintings he'd never bothered with. Hopefully he could finish before the other got bored.

Just as he started frying the bacon, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Shikamaru you are home!"

"Morning mum"

"I thought you were staying at Naruto's?"

"I was... listen mum don't freak out"

"Why? What have you done?" Yoshino's voice had gone from being fairly calm, to suspicious.

"There's this guy who's friends with Naruto, but he has no where to stay while he's visiting, and he has a few... mental problems. I let him stay here last night, but do you think he could stay a little longer?"

"Is this guy dangerous?"

"No, no he's perfectly safe..." Except for when he tries to fight off vicious wild cars.

"I see... so you've finally found a special someone~"

"What? No I haven't!"

"Its fine honey, don't worry. You don't need to make up some story, if you love him he can stay with us. I always had a suspicion that you played for the other team~"

Wonderful. His mother now thought he was gay, and had suspected it for years. That really does wonders for your self-esteem.

"Look mum I'm not-"

"Anyways, I was just ringing to let you know I'll be staying at grandmas for a couple of days. She's hurt her hip again. But now I know you have company I don't have to worry so much~"

"That's fine, but mo-"

"Bye darling, I'll see you soon~" And she hung up.

"Troublesome mother" He muttered "I thought they got suspicious about things like this"

"Oi fucker! Where's the food?"

This is so irritating...

I just couldn't resist the chamber pot thing, it was too funny XD Yoshino is a bit OOC, but I prefer her this way :3

Hope you enjoyed reading