rating: pg 13
main character: Joyce, Ted the Robot
appearances by Buffy
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to any characters from BtVS.
distribution: Twisting the Hellmouth, TNL/QPC, Paula, anyone else ask
note: this is a continuation of the Messed Up Family AU, now moving into season 1 Buffy. Dawn exists, but is not the Key, just the younger daughter of Joyce and Hank.
note: the episode 'Ted" originally occurred in season 2, I am making it occur earlier in this AU. Buffy is still a sophomore (season 1). Some dialog from the episode 'Ted' has been used, found at studiesinwords.de/buffy.html - a BtVS transcripts site.
Joyce sighed, trying to remember how in the world she'd ended up in this situation. Oh yes, her darling daughters had concluded that since she wasn't going to get back together with Hank, she needed to find a new man. So, they'd managed to convince her to try dating again, and she'd joined a singles organization. She'd met Ted online first, and they'd chatted a bit, not about anything serious, but a few things. Then, she'd agreed to met him at one of the weekend get together's the club held.
Ted wasn't that hard to find, they'd given some bits of description about each other over the internet, after all. He wasn't terribly tall, and seemed to have the sort of face that would be described as 'nice'. He seemed a bit shy, with older style manners, more like the way the fathers of her friends when she was Buffy's age used to act. The sort of manners that people today really didn't use. It raised questions for her, little bothersome questions. And he didn't smell right. She couldn't explain it, but... his scent was just not right, like he wasn't human, wasn't alive. But that was impossible, wasn't it?
They chatted about little things, about the weather, about the change in the world from earlier times, about the price of fresh fruit and how it all had warning labels now days. He seemed... well, she couldn't put it into words, but there was something slightly off about him.
Over dessert, he'd asked her if they could get together over the weekend, suggesting " Why not get together for miniature golf? Some good, clean wholesome fun for everyone. Surely it would be good for you to get out, and it's safe and enjoyable for your girls as well. You said they were sixteen and twelve?"
She'd looked at him, smiling around the chocolate cake. "Yes, sixteen and twelve... They might go for that. And it's been a long time since I've dated... Why not? Saturday? We could meet at the place at maybe one?"
Maybe he wouldn't be so bad, maybe things could look up a bit. Maybe he was just a nice guy.
But if he wasn't, she would be watching, and listening.
Saturday rolled around, and despite her misgivings, Joyce was there, with both of her daughters. Buffy seemed determined not to like Ted. Maybe she was still hoping that there would be a reconciliation with Hank, but it was definitely something. Dawn seemed a bit more open minded about the matter, but still a bit nervous.
Buffy seemed to be having a rough day, and one of her shots went into the brush around the edges. She just looked so miserable, so frustrated and annoyed. "It's okay honey. We don't have to count that one."
Ted looked at her, a small frown firmly in place. "What? Not count it? I think that would be wrong."
"Well, it's just miniature golf." Ted sounded a bit upset, and Joyce wondered why he was reacting like this. Wasn't the point of today to allow her daughters to get to know him and him to get to know her family?
"It is, but the rules are the rules. And what we teach her is what she takes out into the world when we're not there, whether it's at school or an unchaperoned party." He looked at Buffy, his voice sounding as if he was trying to smooth her ruffled temper. "I don't mean to overstep my bounds, this is between you and your mother, I just think right is right."
Something seemed off, he wasn't... he wasn't reacting quite right. And his scent hadn't changed at all. But it didn't have the same strangeness that Darla's had carried. Buffy always did seem to be trying to bend the rules... " He has a point."
Buffy glared at Ted, her eyes flashing with emotions. Joyce could almost taste the anger rolling off of her daughter. With one hand on her hip, she looked at Ted. "Fine. I'll just go hit my ball from the rough."
Buffy stomped off into the underbrush, disappearing behind the castle. Ted followed more slowly, and Joyce and Dawn both fell quiet. Down looked worried, and it was hard to say if it was because of Buffy's mood or her mother's 'date'. Joyce bit her lip, trying to listen to what was going on.
There was a faint sound, like a golf ball rolling around in the little cup, and then Buffy's voice rang back. "Hey, how about that! Got a hole in two!"
Ted had followed Buffy, beyond the range of where Joyce could see, and his voice when he spoke was eerily calm. Almost emotionless, but there was a faint hint of something, almost like annoyance. "Beg to differ."
Buffy's voice was filled with a forced casualness. "Okay, so fine my score or whatever."
"I think you're missing the point here, little lady. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Why don't people see that?" Ted's voice had gone entirely flat.
"It's just a game?" Buffy's voice had a question to it, as if she was confused about something.
"Right, it's just a game, do your own thing, well, I'm not wired that way. And I am here to tell you " The tapping of his golf club against his ankle was getting harder, and it almost sounded as if there was metal ringing against metal. "It is not a game! It does count, and I don't stand for that kind of malarkey in my house!"
"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not in your house." Her voice was almost sarcastic, and there was a faint hint of fear in t he air.
"Do you want me to slap that smart-ass mouth of yours?" His voice was cold, with a bit of anger, but... there was still no scent of any emotion from Ted.
Honestly, the rest of the afternoon was a blur. There were cookies that Ted had brought, but they tasted off, and made her stomach twist in a way that reminded her of her irresponsible travels with Moonbeam and Rowan. She let the rest of the cookie fall back into her purse, no longer hungry. He'd threatened to hit her daughter, spoke of Buffy living in his house. Things seemed to be spiraling terribly out of control.
Everything seemed incredibly blurry for the rest of the weekend. She tried to think, to consider what would her dad say about Ted? Well, after saying that the man needed to get a bit more exercise and had a sissy job selling software.
He would tell her that nobody had the right to come into her life and threaten her family like that. That Ted was threatening her children would possibly lead to him threatening her, and that he didn't raise his daughter to let somebody push her around. Then, he'd probably threaten to gut Ted on general principles. She'd never quite figured out if those threats were serious or not...
She was still trying to figure out why he would threaten her daughter like that when Ted arrived at the art gallery.
"Hey, Joyce. I thought maybe I could take you out to dinner? Sort of an apology for things going so awkwardly on Saturday..." His voice sounded sincere, almost nice.
"Ted..." She forced herself to offer a tiny smile. "I think... maybe we need to have a talk."
"Not a problem, just slide in. How about Italian?" He made a little gesture towards the passenger seat.
"Italian's just fine... where did you have in mind?" She wondered just what he was up to.
"We're going home, sweetie. You've been out long enough. Time to go home." His voice was even, calm.
He was driving too fast for her to jump out, so Joyce waited, trying to control her emotions. Ted had gone crazy... that had to be the explanation. And as soon as he stopped the car, even for a red light, she would be out the door.
There were no delays, and he made it to his house before stopping. She flung open the door and leapt out, her heart hammering and her mouth sour tasting. Had her years with Hank left her entirely blind to trouble?
Hard fingers grabbed her arm, and she was pulled to a halt. Ted was looking at her, his face blankly calm. "You aren't leaving me again, honey."
With a growl, she raised her knee, feeling it connect to him hard. But he didn't fall, didn't even whimper, a fact which caused the hairs on her neck to rise and prickle.
He squeezed at her arm, his eyes narrowed. "That wasn't very nice. You've been a very naughty woman, honey."
She slashed at his face, not the open handed slap that it looked like, but a raking, ripping motion, intended to hurt and draw blood. Scalp wounds always bled a lot, if he couldn't see... Instead of blood, there was a shower of sparks, and there were exposed wires and bits of metal.
Letting go of her arm, he hit her, his fist connecting to her cheek hard enough to leave her seeing spots. "No more of this rebellion. Right is right... Wrong is wrong. Have a cookie."
Snarling, Joyce attacked, her recently renewed practice a big help. More sparks were joined by smoke, and she ripped and shredded at him, leaving him a mass of exposed metal and bits of wiring. One robotic hand spasmed, opening and closing, the arm snapped in the middle.
She was breathing heavy as she stared at the pieces, feeling bruises over her body, and her lip bleeding. "Hate to tell you this Ted, but I have to break things off with you."
A brief search of his workshop produced an axe, which she then used to hack Ted into small chunks. She took special care to shatter anything that looked like a power source or important circuitry. Leaving the axe against the house, she frowned. His home smelled of death, of long dead things.
She took the axe with her, and used her cell phone to dial in an 'anonymous' call to the local police, claiming that she'd heard screaming from the house, giving Ted's address. Best keep the axe, it would have her finger prints all over it. And it might be useful if Darla ever came back.
Ted had most definitely not been the man for her. He'd pretty much been Mister Wrong, and it was a good thing that he wouldn't be coming back. She almost wished that she could try something similar on Hank, it had been remarkably stress relieving.
She would just tell Dawn and Buffy that things with Ted hadn't worked out, and he'd... they'd separated. She allowed herself a giggle at that.. separated... Ted was all in pieces now. Definitely separated. And she should calm down before her daughters saw her like this.
end Mister Wrong.
main character: Joyce, Ted the Robot
appearances by Buffy
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to any characters from BtVS.
distribution: Twisting the Hellmouth, TNL/QPC, Paula, anyone else ask
note: this is a continuation of the Messed Up Family AU, now moving into season 1 Buffy. Dawn exists, but is not the Key, just the younger daughter of Joyce and Hank.
note: the episode 'Ted" originally occurred in season 2, I am making it occur earlier in this AU. Buffy is still a sophomore (season 1). Some dialog from the episode 'Ted' has been used, found at studiesinwords.de/buffy.html - a BtVS transcripts site.
Joyce sighed, trying to remember how in the world she'd ended up in this situation. Oh yes, her darling daughters had concluded that since she wasn't going to get back together with Hank, she needed to find a new man. So, they'd managed to convince her to try dating again, and she'd joined a singles organization. She'd met Ted online first, and they'd chatted a bit, not about anything serious, but a few things. Then, she'd agreed to met him at one of the weekend get together's the club held.
Ted wasn't that hard to find, they'd given some bits of description about each other over the internet, after all. He wasn't terribly tall, and seemed to have the sort of face that would be described as 'nice'. He seemed a bit shy, with older style manners, more like the way the fathers of her friends when she was Buffy's age used to act. The sort of manners that people today really didn't use. It raised questions for her, little bothersome questions. And he didn't smell right. She couldn't explain it, but... his scent was just not right, like he wasn't human, wasn't alive. But that was impossible, wasn't it?
They chatted about little things, about the weather, about the change in the world from earlier times, about the price of fresh fruit and how it all had warning labels now days. He seemed... well, she couldn't put it into words, but there was something slightly off about him.
Over dessert, he'd asked her if they could get together over the weekend, suggesting " Why not get together for miniature golf? Some good, clean wholesome fun for everyone. Surely it would be good for you to get out, and it's safe and enjoyable for your girls as well. You said they were sixteen and twelve?"
She'd looked at him, smiling around the chocolate cake. "Yes, sixteen and twelve... They might go for that. And it's been a long time since I've dated... Why not? Saturday? We could meet at the place at maybe one?"
Maybe he wouldn't be so bad, maybe things could look up a bit. Maybe he was just a nice guy.
But if he wasn't, she would be watching, and listening.
Saturday rolled around, and despite her misgivings, Joyce was there, with both of her daughters. Buffy seemed determined not to like Ted. Maybe she was still hoping that there would be a reconciliation with Hank, but it was definitely something. Dawn seemed a bit more open minded about the matter, but still a bit nervous.
Buffy seemed to be having a rough day, and one of her shots went into the brush around the edges. She just looked so miserable, so frustrated and annoyed. "It's okay honey. We don't have to count that one."
Ted looked at her, a small frown firmly in place. "What? Not count it? I think that would be wrong."
"Well, it's just miniature golf." Ted sounded a bit upset, and Joyce wondered why he was reacting like this. Wasn't the point of today to allow her daughters to get to know him and him to get to know her family?
"It is, but the rules are the rules. And what we teach her is what she takes out into the world when we're not there, whether it's at school or an unchaperoned party." He looked at Buffy, his voice sounding as if he was trying to smooth her ruffled temper. "I don't mean to overstep my bounds, this is between you and your mother, I just think right is right."
Something seemed off, he wasn't... he wasn't reacting quite right. And his scent hadn't changed at all. But it didn't have the same strangeness that Darla's had carried. Buffy always did seem to be trying to bend the rules... " He has a point."
Buffy glared at Ted, her eyes flashing with emotions. Joyce could almost taste the anger rolling off of her daughter. With one hand on her hip, she looked at Ted. "Fine. I'll just go hit my ball from the rough."
Buffy stomped off into the underbrush, disappearing behind the castle. Ted followed more slowly, and Joyce and Dawn both fell quiet. Down looked worried, and it was hard to say if it was because of Buffy's mood or her mother's 'date'. Joyce bit her lip, trying to listen to what was going on.
There was a faint sound, like a golf ball rolling around in the little cup, and then Buffy's voice rang back. "Hey, how about that! Got a hole in two!"
Ted had followed Buffy, beyond the range of where Joyce could see, and his voice when he spoke was eerily calm. Almost emotionless, but there was a faint hint of something, almost like annoyance. "Beg to differ."
Buffy's voice was filled with a forced casualness. "Okay, so fine my score or whatever."
"I think you're missing the point here, little lady. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Why don't people see that?" Ted's voice had gone entirely flat.
"It's just a game?" Buffy's voice had a question to it, as if she was confused about something.
"Right, it's just a game, do your own thing, well, I'm not wired that way. And I am here to tell you " The tapping of his golf club against his ankle was getting harder, and it almost sounded as if there was metal ringing against metal. "It is not a game! It does count, and I don't stand for that kind of malarkey in my house!"
"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not in your house." Her voice was almost sarcastic, and there was a faint hint of fear in t he air.
"Do you want me to slap that smart-ass mouth of yours?" His voice was cold, with a bit of anger, but... there was still no scent of any emotion from Ted.
Honestly, the rest of the afternoon was a blur. There were cookies that Ted had brought, but they tasted off, and made her stomach twist in a way that reminded her of her irresponsible travels with Moonbeam and Rowan. She let the rest of the cookie fall back into her purse, no longer hungry. He'd threatened to hit her daughter, spoke of Buffy living in his house. Things seemed to be spiraling terribly out of control.
Everything seemed incredibly blurry for the rest of the weekend. She tried to think, to consider what would her dad say about Ted? Well, after saying that the man needed to get a bit more exercise and had a sissy job selling software.
He would tell her that nobody had the right to come into her life and threaten her family like that. That Ted was threatening her children would possibly lead to him threatening her, and that he didn't raise his daughter to let somebody push her around. Then, he'd probably threaten to gut Ted on general principles. She'd never quite figured out if those threats were serious or not...
She was still trying to figure out why he would threaten her daughter like that when Ted arrived at the art gallery.
"Hey, Joyce. I thought maybe I could take you out to dinner? Sort of an apology for things going so awkwardly on Saturday..." His voice sounded sincere, almost nice.
"Ted..." She forced herself to offer a tiny smile. "I think... maybe we need to have a talk."
"Not a problem, just slide in. How about Italian?" He made a little gesture towards the passenger seat.
"Italian's just fine... where did you have in mind?" She wondered just what he was up to.
"We're going home, sweetie. You've been out long enough. Time to go home." His voice was even, calm.
He was driving too fast for her to jump out, so Joyce waited, trying to control her emotions. Ted had gone crazy... that had to be the explanation. And as soon as he stopped the car, even for a red light, she would be out the door.
There were no delays, and he made it to his house before stopping. She flung open the door and leapt out, her heart hammering and her mouth sour tasting. Had her years with Hank left her entirely blind to trouble?
Hard fingers grabbed her arm, and she was pulled to a halt. Ted was looking at her, his face blankly calm. "You aren't leaving me again, honey."
With a growl, she raised her knee, feeling it connect to him hard. But he didn't fall, didn't even whimper, a fact which caused the hairs on her neck to rise and prickle.
He squeezed at her arm, his eyes narrowed. "That wasn't very nice. You've been a very naughty woman, honey."
She slashed at his face, not the open handed slap that it looked like, but a raking, ripping motion, intended to hurt and draw blood. Scalp wounds always bled a lot, if he couldn't see... Instead of blood, there was a shower of sparks, and there were exposed wires and bits of metal.
Letting go of her arm, he hit her, his fist connecting to her cheek hard enough to leave her seeing spots. "No more of this rebellion. Right is right... Wrong is wrong. Have a cookie."
Snarling, Joyce attacked, her recently renewed practice a big help. More sparks were joined by smoke, and she ripped and shredded at him, leaving him a mass of exposed metal and bits of wiring. One robotic hand spasmed, opening and closing, the arm snapped in the middle.
She was breathing heavy as she stared at the pieces, feeling bruises over her body, and her lip bleeding. "Hate to tell you this Ted, but I have to break things off with you."
A brief search of his workshop produced an axe, which she then used to hack Ted into small chunks. She took special care to shatter anything that looked like a power source or important circuitry. Leaving the axe against the house, she frowned. His home smelled of death, of long dead things.
She took the axe with her, and used her cell phone to dial in an 'anonymous' call to the local police, claiming that she'd heard screaming from the house, giving Ted's address. Best keep the axe, it would have her finger prints all over it. And it might be useful if Darla ever came back.
Ted had most definitely not been the man for her. He'd pretty much been Mister Wrong, and it was a good thing that he wouldn't be coming back. She almost wished that she could try something similar on Hank, it had been remarkably stress relieving.
She would just tell Dawn and Buffy that things with Ted hadn't worked out, and he'd... they'd separated. She allowed herself a giggle at that.. separated... Ted was all in pieces now. Definitely separated. And she should calm down before her daughters saw her like this.
end Mister Wrong.