Drabble Number Four.
Author notes: I thought this up on the way home from Canada, eh!
Chapter Title: Living With Ghosts
Chapter Rating: T, for themes involving death, paranoia, and my own fun of screwing with Sasuke's mind. Actually, it's closer to M for gore. It's like… a High T. You know?
Genre: Suspense and Drama, I think. I don't really know.
Chapter Summary: Itachi is dead… isn't he? Didn't Sasuke watch his brother die--by his own hands? So why does he keep seeing him, every time he turns around too quickly?
Disclaimer: Don't own the lovely Uchiha boys. If I did… Well, some things are better left for fantasy.
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He had fallen to the ground, pinned beneath his stronger--better--younger brother. His eyes were black, and emotionless, not begging for life as Sasuke had hoped. But that was still okay. In a few moments, Itachi would be dead.
Things hadn't quite gone as planned, but that was okay too. Sasuke had stumbled across his brother and the blue guy--Kisame?--in the forest while on his way back to Konoha from a mission. A-level mission, because he was a Jounin now. Not as prodigal as his brother, since it had taken him five years from when he became a Genin until he became a Jounin, but none of that mattered. He was nineteen now, had been a Jounin for two years, was sending in an ANBU application as soon as he number fifty successful A-level missions. This was all irrelevant.
Neji had been with him on the mission, had taken out the blue guy fairly easily, providing the rather ironically dramatic chance for the last two Uchiha to face off. He would have to thank him later for that, even if the Hyuuga wouldn't have the faintest clue what he meant.
Neji had known to stand back as they faced off, though. He had gone ahead, promising to come back with a medical squad, should one be needed. Sasuke and Itachi had been alone.
And it had been nice. Sasuke hadn't thought he'd be able to beat his brother even now, had been kicked around easily. Then Itachi had slipped up.
It took less than three seconds for Sasuke to gain the upper hand after that. Quite literally, as the chidori that was supposed to go through Itachi's face was dodged. But it did manage to cut off his older brother's right arm. Thanks, bro.
The affect of the blood loss had been crippling, along with the fact that Itachi could no longer make complete hand seals. Sasuke's next move--an old reminiscent of his Chuunin Exam days, the first time around, the Lion Combo--had broken one of Itachi's legs.
His brother had stood again, still upright and conscious on sheer will, Sasuke supposed. Not that it did him much good. A few Kunai into the abdominal area, and Itachi was down again, this time for good.
Sasuke had wasted no time in pinning him down, a kunai just barely piercing the front of Itachi's shirt, not quite enough to draw blood--yet. That was when he noticed his brother's eyes were black.
"Why?" Sasuke hissed, pressing the blade closer. "Why did you kill them all?"
Itachi had stared at him, emotionless, and Sasuke thought he was going to refuse to speak, when he voice came out. It wasn't weak, wasn't tired, like Sasuke had hoped. It was just there. Plain, controlled, everything that was Itachi.
"I killed them to give you a chance." He stated, as if stating that the sky was blue. As if the answer should have been obvious.
Sasuke was about to demand a real explanation, force his brother to tell the truth, something, when his more rational mind--the one that wasn't driven by years of anger and a need for revenge--took over. It didn't cause him to slip up in any way, but it did make him think for a moment. It made sense, in a way. He might not have worked so hard to get where he was now, if the clan still existed. Yeah, it made sense.
But Itachi still had to die. Even if it made sense, that didn't change.
"I'll see you in Hell then, Brother." Sasuke whispered, before pressing the kunai into Itachi's skin, slowly, wanting this to last. Blood welled up around the knife, some came from the corners of Itachi's mouth, thick and dark red. Sasuke pressed harder, looking into his brother's face.
Kin. (1)
Sasuke started awake, his whole body tense and alert, hand clenched around the kunai he still kept under his pillow. Everything was still, no breeze moved the curtains because the windows were closed, the fan blades weren't spinning. Everything was as he had left it, in the small apartment he lived in.
Next to him, Sakura--his long-standing girlfriend and soon-to-be-wife--slept peacefully, not plagued by nightmares as he was. Even if it was frowned upon by her family for them to share a bedroom--never mind that they slept in the same bed--they couldn't afford much else. Most of his money from missions went to bills for the small apartment, and supplies for the next mission. Her money from the hospital covered food and clothing, as well as small luxuries. (2)
Everything in the small apartment was as it should be. The bulb above the stove in the other room made a barely-visible line of yellow-tinted light under the closed door. Nothing was out of place, but that didn't put his mind at ease.
Nothing could get Sasuke back to sleep, from hot tea to sleeping pills to jutsu, once he was awake after a nightmare about his brother. Any nightmare, it didn't matter. Sometimes even the dreams that weren't filled with blood and horror left him ill at ease.
Silently getting out of bed, making sure to fix the blanket to that Sakura wouldn't get cold, Sasuke slipped out of the room, into the kitchen. He made sure the door was closed tightly, so any noise he made wouldn't disturb the sleeping girl, before looking around. He was awake, but now what? All his weapons were amazingly sharp, after other sleepless nights, and tea was getting a little tiring. It was true that Naruto lived nearby, but Sasuke got the feeling his other former team mate--and best friend--wouldn't appreciate a… four am visit.
Sasuke looked around, before deciding that he may as well go for a walk, perhaps get in some early-morning training. It was something to do, at least.
Leaving a quick note tacked to the table where Sakura couldn't miss it, Sasuke pulled on his sandals and made his way outside, locking the door behind him. Down three flights of stairs, and then down the street, making his way through the sleeping village streets, vaguely in the direction of the training grounds.
The wind blew after he had gone a few blocked, whistling around the eaves of the buildings he passed. It was early spring, so most windows were still closed, and it was chilly this early, but the cold didn't bother him.
What bothered him was the voice on the wind.
Sasuke.
He turned, expecting to see someone behind him, knowing it was stupid and paranoid. No one was there, of course. No one would be, it was crazy.
The wind blew again, and he faced forward, walking head-on into the brunt of the gust.
Sharingan.
He was going crazy, absolutely bats hit crazy, and it made him want to laugh. Recurring dreams, sleepless nights, and now hearing voices in the wind.
Maybe he should ask for a vacation. Go on a nice, long trip somewhere warm. Like Hell. With his brother.
Under normal circumstances, Sasuke would write off his sleepless nights and nightmares as stress, request a week vacation, and train himself physically and mentally to the point of exhaustion every day during that week, so that he couldn't dream, and had to sleep. By the end of his vacation, he would normally be better, for a few months or even years.
But when you start hearing the voice of your crazy, dead elder brother, you don't call it stress and ask for a vacation. You call yourself crazy, and ask for a stay in a mental home. Or, if you have a reputation to keep, you remain silent and hope it will all go away.
The wind blew again, this time not the biting cold gust of winter trying to move back in, but a soft, warm breeze. It brushed by him, almost like a hand caressing his cheek. Almost exactly like a warm, strong hand--
Sasuke.
He shook his head, rubbing at his cheek as if it burned suddenly. This sort of thing was what crazy people did. Uchiha Sasuke was not crazy.
He was getting married in the late summer, to a wonderful girl who could cook, was willing to fix him up for free should he get injured, and was probably great in bed. Yes, a great girl whom he'd known for most of his life now, had liked for about a third of that life--even if he hadn't acted like it--and who always joked about how she made her best friend so jealous. A girl who loved him not only for how he looked and his name, but for who he was. The hidden faults, the little insecurities, and whatever other skeletons were in his closet.
Sasuke shook his head, sick of the introspection. He was at the grounds now, might as well practice some taijutsu, clear his mind.
Kin.
Sasuke started, in the middle of warming up, and, in a very un-Sasuke-like move, tripped over his own feet. He didn't go sprawling by luck alone, catching himself on a hand, a rock digging into his palm, making air hiss out between his teeth in pain, even as his eyes darted around.
The subtle, familiar sound made when Sharingan was activated. It was no more than a soft noise, something only one used to hearing it would really notice.
Sasuke noticed it now, as his eyes searched about for the source of the noise. His own Sharingan was at rest, needless in his training for now. And there were no other beings capable of--
Again, that sound. Kin. So quiet and peaceful and--there!
Sasuke stared, feeling like a fool. Of course, it was windy outside. There was a flagpole on a nearby building. The sound had obviously happened when the metal clip used to hold the flag on the string contacted with the metal pole. He was getting paranoid. (3)
The wind again, ruffling through his hair, like fingers caressing his scalp.
Sasuke.
Sharingan.
Sssssassssuke.
Sasuke's eyes searched about, looking for the source of the voice. There was no one there, not at four thirty in the morning. Everyone was still peacefully asleep.
So why was he hearing those noises that the wind can't make? Only crazy people hear things that aren't there. Sasuke was not crazy.
He turned, again, looking around. There, in the shadow, under the tree, that was making the noise! That shape, the outline traced thinly by a sliver of moon. The look of the straw hat, and cloak… the cloak that moved as the wind picked up again.
Sasuke's voice froze in his throat for a moment, leaving him in a small, questioning whisper. "Itachi…?"
The wind blew, and the figure stepped forward, and Sasuke could see the limp, and could see how one sleeve on the cloak billow freer than the other as if… as if…
As if there wasn't an arm there.
This couldn't have been happening, not to him, not to Uchiha Sasuke. He wasn't crazy, he didn't see dead people. He wasn't crazy.
Sasuke…
The voice again, so quiet and familiar, controlled, calm… his brother's voice. The figure took a step closer, left the shadows of the trees, and Sasuke's adjusted eyes could see. Could see the terrible limp in the left leg--that was the leg he had broken--and the way the right arm of the cloak flapped freely.
A strong gust of wind then, making both figures brace themselves against it, and the cloak blew open. Sasuke stared, unable to help himself.
The large hole in the middle of his brother's chest, where he had carved out Itachi's heart after he was dead.
The smaller holes in his lower stomach, where those final kunai had struck.
The ragged gap in his shoulder, where an arm should have been attached.
White bone, protruding from a misshapen leg.
The dark crimson--looking black in this lighting--stains from the corner's of Itachi's mouth.
Sasuke.
His brother's lips didn't move, but that didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter, except that his brother was here, and not dead, and Sasuke wasn't crazy which meant this was real.
The intellectual part of his mind wondered if this was what a complete breakdown felt like, before he felt himself walking over. Giving in to the insanity that lay ahead.
Hell got lonely, Sasuke, so I came back… The wind whispered, sounding just like his brother--his loved, hated, crazy, envied, powerful, dead brother--and Sasuke believed him.
"Would it be less lonely if I was there?" Sasuke asked, his voice more insecure than it had been in years. He was reminded of when he used to shyly ask his brother for lessons with kunai, or other ninja arts.
Of course… The Itachi-wind whispered in his mind, and Sasuke found a kunai in his hand. He smiled nostalgically, even without proper lighting he could see that it was one of Itachi's old set, probably taken from a dead relatives body.
Sasuke closed his eyes, still smiling at his older brother, and gave into his own insanity. The knife plunged into his stomach, tearing a large hole into his body, as well as a small gasp from his lips, eyes opening involuntarily. He tore upwards, cracking rips with the force of it, ripping his lungs open. His ability to breath slipped away.
Sasuke's eyes closed again, and he felt his brother's one arm around him, felt him helping with the knife.
Then he opened his eyes.
Sun streamed in the curtains, which were moving softly in the light breeze. The room was empty, but there were the sounds of Sakura humming and cooking coming from the kitchen. Sasuke stood, pulling on some pants over the t-shirt and shots he had slept in, and made his way to the kitchen.
Sakura beamed when she saw him, pausing in her cooking--eggs, it smelled like--to go over and kissing his cheek, with a cheerful 'good morning'. She hurried back to the kitchen, and Sasuke was struck with the irony of how normal it all was, after his dream.
Until, that is, he noticed the fresh bandage on his hand, saw it was ten in the morning--Sasuke never slept later than seven or so if he could help it--and realized his sandals were behind him, next to the bed, not by the door.
Sakura set a plate down for each of them, and he sat down, ate breakfast by rote, engaging in small talk about their wedding plans. They'd have to get flowers from the Yamanaka's, of course--partially because of the discount, but mostly, Sasuke suspected, so Sakura could teasingly rub her marriage in Ino's face--and they'd have to convince Naruto that a best man didn't wear orange. Invitations, and other trivial things. It was… peaceful.
Sakura put the dishes into the sink, before making her way towards the door. "I have to get to work now, Sasuke-kun, I'll see you tonight. Don't forget to tell the doctor about your episode last night when you go see her this afternoon." She said, trying to sound cheerful, even though the subject was rather touchy.
Sasuke nodded, kissing her good-bye, promised to clean up the house a bit--since there was nothing else for him to do--and wished her a good day.
Because Sasuke wasn't crazy, and he didn't live in his old life. His brother's ghost wasn't after him, and he had no reason to be paranoid. It was just sometimes he forgot, and sometimes he'd wake up in the middle of the night, or think he did, and walk around town aimlessly, until someone found him doing something crazy and brought him back home. And sometimes he'd still go to the Hokage's office looking for a mission, as if he hadn't been given indefinite leave for emotional and mental instability.
But that was all okay. Sasuke was getting better, and he had a therapist whom he visited three times a week, and sometimes four if he decided he was having a bad week--like this week--to remind him of his sane, rational life. (4)
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End Notes: I'm back from Canada, eh! Expect the first official chapter of Emotional Instability to be up tomorrow, sometime. This is to tide me over, since I thought of it while I was trying not to sleep in the RV on the way home. Umm.. Explanations and stuff.
(1) I listened to Sasuke activating his Sharingan, and as far as I can tell, it sounds like 'kin'. Or something close to it.
(2) That's right, it's SasuSaku! Deal with it, everyone complains when I write SasuNaru, so here. Nyah.
(3) I live across from a fire station, and whenever I hear the flag hitting the flagpole, that's sort of what it sounds like. Slap a hollow metal rod with a fork.
(4) If you're confused, everything in italics, and until the line of "Then he opened his eyes." was a dream. Sasuke it batshit crazy, and he has amazingly vivid dreams, along with episodes of sleep-walking. We're talking dreams to vivid, he can dream within the dream. It's happened before.
Well, enjoy, and check out the first real chapter of Emotional Instability on Monday!
PS, yes, I just write these and then post them. Half the time I just write to write, and don't care about my own mistakes, but if they bug you--well, you can always copy it into Word or something, and then fix it as you read, I suppose.