Ugh, guys. Summer is kicking my butt, as awful as it sounds. ._. I have summer exams, health, gym, and a course in nanoscience that I have to deal with and between that, fanfiction was just cast down in priority order. Somewhere between all that schooling and vacation, I developed the worse case of writer's block and even thought about discontinuing some of my stories D: But then I thought that as long as SOMEONE is reading these, I'll keep writing.
So thanks, guys. Please review, it means literally the world to me. (That being said, thank you Adorable Reader for reminding me that you guys do read and somewhat like my excuses for stories^^)
And thus I present to you: Beautifully Imperfect.
There was a slam, and Len frustratedly entered the room. He clicked it shut behind him and sat down at his one rickety desk, the desk he'd requested the teacher to change every day since the beginning of the year.
His head was awhirl with a million different thoughts, and they were causing chaos in his head. His mom, several date propositions, his car's engine busting, Rin. Why was she even in his head? God, she was annoying him. He felt like a time bomb. The last time Len had been this irritated, he'd ended up accidentally driving into a mailbox.
To further chuck wood into the flames of his burning irritation, Rin headed into the room and casually took the desk next to him. Had she always sat there? No, he didn't think so. In fact, she had never sat there. She was doing this on purpose, to irritate him! He was in a mood where everyone was suspicious, everyone was trying to push him to boiling point.
"What," he snapped bitterly towards Rin's general direction, "do you want now?"
The studious blonde looked vaguely surprised, and irritated at the same time. "N-Nothing," she snapped back. "I was t-transferred to this s-seat t-today, Mr. Observational."
He almost strangled her. "Whatever. Just keep your mouth shut."
"Why?" She crossed her arms defiantly, huffing. "Why sh-should I l-listen t-to you?"
Len nearly preferred quiet, overly polite Rin over this. But there was something, dare he say it, undeniably attractive about a Rin with a whole lot of attitude.
Holy crap, what was he even saying? This was pathetic. At this rate, Rin was going to accomplish what she'd set out for.
Len sat back, and the desk squeaked as he absentmindedly gazed outside, lost in thought for a few minutes. Why did he look for perfection? It was some sort of quest for him, a life goal. There had to be some perfect girl out there for him, right?
Len would have liked to say it was his mother's fault. Ever since he was a little boy, he had disappointed his mother. She'd always wanted a beautiful little baby girl with blue eyes and blond hair, which would be her second little girl. Her first child was Lenka, and Lenka was in college now. Lola desperately wanted to care for another little girl again. She'd tried once more after Len, but with his father's unexpected death, she was 'stuck' with Len. It had broken a little boy's heart, but Lola was relentless.
Since he was five, Lola had wanted Len to be perfect. He'd gotten stellar grades, he was the top of his class. He played piano with skill and grace, and violin as well. He could cook, he could clean, he helped with family chores, but it was never enough.
"Why aren't you the top of your school? Why can't you play band instruments and sing as well? You can cook, but you can't bake anything- like cake and cookies. You can do the chores, but the house must be constantly clean." Len could even see the smug satisfaction on her aging face when she told him he was worthless.
Len couldn't wait to move out.
He wondered, then, was this the reason? Was his mother the reason he searched so futilely for a perfect woman? Had she set the standards by which Len would judge the girls to come? Len's fingers curled against his mouth as he thought, and then he angled his head to look at Rin for a minute.
Her flaws were clear. She was nibbling her thumbnail. She bit her nails. Tapped her foot. Pulled her hair in thought. Stammered. She had such annoying little... Habits.
But Len, this time, forced himself to look past Rin's flaws. He screwed his eyes shut for a second, cleared away every thought of Rin's imperfections, and then, empty-minded, looked at her again.
His mouth parted slightly in surprise. Once he got past the little habits and her overall figure, and even her dark blue glasses, he saw that she had very pretty eyes- pools of blue, the irises flecked with little aquamarine and silver speckles. Her eyelashes were long, golden crescents casting little shadows on her cheeks. Her face was not angled at all- heart shaped, in fact. Her hair, despite its unattractive presentation, all pulled back and jabbed with clips in random places, was soft and silky-looking. Pouty, bow-shaped lips and slender, gentle hands. No nails because she constantly bit them, but... That could be overlooked. And she was very, very smart.
Len blinked again and those beautiful eyes had vanished behind her glasses. All he could think about now were her small imperfections again. She glanced at him, eyes narrowed slightly, and he sharply looked away.
"Will you stop that." He asked, demanded through gritted teeth.
"S-Stop what?" She glanced at him with puzzled eyes.
Len refrained his hardest from snapping out a harsh "everything." Instead, he murmured what he thought was most important. "Tapping your leg."
"Huh? O-Oh." She nodded and ceased the tapping, one palm against her knee to stop it from bouncing. Len glanced at her attempt to stop and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. It was clearly going to be a long, difficult day for him.
[...]
"Take a picture for me, Rin, please." Lily turned, exposing the backless dress to Rin. Rin hastily snapped the picture, no-flash, and handed the camera back to her mother. "Does this dress look okay?"
Rin's mother was thirty-four years old, and had had Rin at age eighteen. Rin's father had left them when Rin was born, claiming that he hadn't been ready to have Rin to begin with. He'd also claimed that Rin wasn't the boy he'd wanted either.
Rin, smiling sadly, snapped yet another picture of her mother. "Yeah, Mom. It looks perfect," she said truthfully. Her mom was the epitome of beautiful, a supermodel with dark, azure eyes and a perfect white smile. It was a wonder that Rin was her daughter. Two people couldn't be more different.
Marion twirled one silky golden lock away from her collarbone with a single white French manicured nail and placed her slender hand on her hip, turning to show only her face to the camera.
"Are you sure?" Her mother persisted through her teeth, still smiling. Unsurely, she picked at the red dress she was wearing and her redsmile drooped a little at the ends. "Oh, Rinny, it's awful, isn't it?"
"No, mom!" Rin protested. It had taken her mother seventeen years of work to get to where she was today, and it wasn't in vain. Marion was absolutely stunning. Just the opposite of Rin. "Mom, you have a serious confidence problem, you look awesome. Would I lie to you?"
Her mother bit her lip. "No?" She asked, as more of a question, and sheepishly lowered her head at her daughter's exasperation. "No, I guess not. Oh, sweetheart, I'm so worried about this shoot that it's keeping me up at night." She glanced at her waist, wrapping her arms around it. "How I wish I was as slender as you, Rin!"
Rin blushed as she ducked underneath a dress rack. "Mom! Besides, at least you have a ..." She blushed even harder. "Chest."
"Oh, you're so silly." Her mother totally ignored that part and cocked her body towards Rin. "Okay, how about one more, and then you get dressed for tonight's dinner?"
Rin swallowed nervously, almost dropping the camera. "Um... Dinner?"
"Yeah," Marion said casually, picking at an invisible dust speck off of her shoulder. She seemed suddenly determined to avoid her daughter's lightly suspicious gaze. "You will come, right?"
"I'm guessing the paparazzi will be there." Rin said quietly, plainly. Her mother's face dropped a little.
"Yes, I suppose." Her mother stared at her shoes, thin eyebrows drawn together, and changed the subject. "Hey, Rinny. Do you think I should wear black shoes or red shoes or...?"
"How about pretty nude to white strappy heels? It's sophisticated and will give you a leg-lengthening look, Mom." Rin said absently, helping her mother out having become her second nature. She circled her mother delicately, looking up and down her tall frame. "Also with nude pantyhose, since the dress is a bit short."
Her mother grinned at her. "You're the best, Rinny. I don't know what I would do without you! Now if only you could get over your fear of flashing lights, then I could tell the world about my little fashion expert!
"How can someone so plain and unremarkable be Marion's daughter?"
"I don't know, but it's a great story! I bet she's adopted. They obviously can't be related."
Rin sighed, rubbing her eyes, and set down the measuring tape and camera. "Just go enjoy yourself, Mom." She said faintly, giving her mother a warm smile. Only at home could she speak comfortably without her stutter or anything like that. No nervousness, no nail biting, tapping, anything like that. At home, she was confident to help her mother with her various fashion questions. "I have a lot of homework." Just imagine if someone knew what kind of person Rin was at home, besides Miku and Mikuo.
"Oh, all right sweetheart. Thank you so much for helping me! I'll head out early since you're not coming, then!" Marion gave her daughter a fleeting hug and a quick kiss before throwing her white purse over her shoulder. Rin heard the garage door slam shut and returned to her original spot on the couch.
Their house was, as usual, a complete clutter. Dresses everywhere, the sewing machine placed haphazardly on the floor with needles in a small pile and threads unraveling. Rin sighed, lying back.
If it weren't for the stupid paparazzi and their degrading remarks, their flashing lights... They almost reminded her of Len. Len, who could find every flaw and hurt you with it. Just like that- the paparazzi found those flaws, locked, targeted, and hurt Rin.
It was because of them that she'd developed the stutter, the little nervous habits. It was because of them that she wasn't hurt by, in fact, immune to Len's biting insults. It was because of them that Rin had felt so trapped by Len's gaze, his sharp, scrutinizing glare. But no one needed to know that.
That was her secret.
[...]
As Len was walking home, he had somewhat of an epiphany in regards to the question he'd been asking himself: what was he looking for?
Not what. Who.
Len remembered a day, long ago. Nine years ago, to be precise, when his mother had left him at the park with a friend. The friend had left about ten minutes ago, and eight year old Len was wandering around the park, bored.
There was a bench littered with little flower petals from the tree above; a cherry blossom, actually. He noticed that there was a figure sitting there; a very small girl with her hands over her eyes. As he neared her, he saw that she was crying uncontrollably. She must have been only seven. Len wanted to backtrack and run away. He hated when girls cried. But this little girl seemed to have lost it completely.
He dropped onto the bench beside her, figuring he should make some sort of awkward conversation.
"Um..." He spoke up, and the girl squeaked, looking up. Her eyes were puffy and her features otherwise plain. But those blue eyes were really, really pretty. "Wh-What's wrong?" Boy, he felt stupid.
She sniffled, pulling her arm across her eyes. "D-Do you think I'm p-pretty?"
Well.
That was unexpected.
Len stuttered as he tried to pull an answer together. She wasn't incredibly beautiful, but her eyes were so bright, like little stars. She'd begun to sniffle again.
"Yes," he said truthfully. "Why?"
"My mommy is b-beautiful," she said mournfully, tears still streaming down her face. "Nobody thinks that I sh-should be her k-kid." She rubbed her eyes. "They said I'm really p-p-plain and not that p-p-pretty."
Upon hearing this, Len felt kind of indignant. "Who said that to you?"
"The..." Her face scrunched up as if she was confused, her nose wrinkling. Len was mystified at this action and, in fact, thought it was kind of... cute. "P-Parapizza!"
"Parapizza?" Len gave her a bemused look; he had no idea what that was. "What is the parapizza?"
"They," the little girl mimed taking a picture of Len, "they t-take p-pictures of my m-mommy cause she's f-famous." She dropped her hands as Len glanced at her at the word famous. "They're really m-mean," the little blonde whimpered.
Len was even more taken aback. "A bunch of pizzas take pictures?"
She stared at him, and then covered her mouth. Her shoulders shook, and then Len knew he did something wrong. He winced, looking away.
"H-Hey, don't cry-"
A sound escaped the little girl's mouth and Len looked back up, surprised. She was...
Laughing.
Giggles burst from her, peals of laughter that rung like little bells. Her entire face lit up wonderfully, in a way that brought stars to her eyes.
Len had to grin at her bright face. She looked so much prettier when she laughed.
"They're not p-p-pizzas, silly." She was still giggling. "They're p-p-people who take p-pictures. They're just c-called the p-parapizza. Also I th-think I'm s-saying it wrong. It's s-something like that." She smiled at him, but that smile faded. "They t-told me t-t-to g-go away b-because I was in the way f-for mommy's p-pictures and I stammer. Mommy d-doesn't know I'm here." Her shoulders drooped. "I don't b-belong th-there."
"You're right." Len said with conviction. "You don't." Her lower lip trembled, so he barrelled on. "You belong here, laughing under the cherry blossom tree!" He'd noticed the speech impediment, but he didn't really care that much. Back then, he'd never noticed what he did in the present.
She brightened again. "You r-really think?"
"I know!" He said earnestly. "So you don't like pictures?" She bit her lip.
"You won't l-l-laugh?" She murmured. When he shook his head, she looked down shyly. "I'm s-s-scared of c-camera f-flashes and b-bright lights."
He didn't laugh. "That's okay, you know. I'm scared of clowns." It was embarrassing, he knew, but she nodded like she understood. "So you can't be there when the people take pictures."
The girl shrugged sadly. "They s-said I'm a b-bother to m-mommy, s-so I l-left."
Len patted her hand, and she rubbed her eyes again.
"Th-Thanks," she said warmly. "For t-telling me that I b-belong s-s-somewhere. I sh-should g-go t-tell my mommy I m-met someone a-awesome today."
"Who?" Len asked, bewildered, and she giggled. Hey, he wasn't exactly the smartest kid around.
"You, si-lly." She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, and then turned, racing down the sidewalk in her white sundress. Len touched his burning cheek and thought he might just melt to death.
"Wait!" He called after her, "what's your name?"
But she was already gone, and all he had was a fleeting kiss on the cheek and warm laughter.
Presently, as Len walked into his empty house, he wasn't sure why he remembered the sweet girl in a white sundress. He well remembered their exchange, yet even after years of coming back to the park and its bench, he never saw her there any more.
Was she the perfect girl, maybe? Len noted that she had stuttered... Just like... Well, Rin. In fact, as Len's mind raced, he recalled certain aspects of the girl that were just like Rin.
Len stopped thinking for a moment to whip himself up something to snack on. As he blended frozen berries, milk, and a banana together, he heard the phone ring.
Lenka; XXX-XXX-XXXX
"Hello." He answered shortly to his sister, searching for a glass.
"Hi, Lenny-bear! Whatcha doing?" Len sighed; it seemed he would never get his sister to quit with the awful nicknames.
"Making a smoothie," he said, slightly disgruntled. He and his sister hardly fought, and Len was obviously nicer to her than he was to other girls. He took a sip.
"Len, how busy are you during Christmas vacation?" He heard her yawn and she continued, "Sorry. Really tired. You have it in one and a half months, right?"
"Er, yeah. Why?" Len asked suspiciously, and Lenka laughed.
"Don't have to sound so accusing!" She teased. "I just wanted to invite you over. We can walk around Tokyo, whatever. You game?"
"Tokyo, huh." Len murmured. It sounded very appealing. "Just us?"
"Well, here's the catch- I have four tickets. One for me and my boyfriend, one for you... So... In one month, find someone other than mom to take, or the deal's off."
Len glared at the phone. "You're implying again, Lenka, that I have no friends." He said coolly.
"Len!" His sister sounded appalled, but she was an excellent actress. "You should be thrilled that I'm allowing you to bring someone else other than a parental unit."
Len sighed. "If I don't?"
Lenka's voice dropped to a threateningly low pitch.
"I will bring my friend Miki and we will dress you up as a girl- makeup and all." Len cringed a little, but icily said,
"Fine. I'll find someone to take to Tokyo." He raised his eyes upward. "Anything else?"
"Can I talk to mom?"
"She's still at the big corporation meeting thing." Len muttered. "You have to tell her though," he continued flatly. "I don't want to argue with her."
At first, all he heard was light, erratic breathing, but then Lenka said, "Fine, fair enough. Catch you on the flip side, baby brother!"
Before he could growl something unkind and degrading at her, his sister had hung up. Len sighed and placed the phone in its dock.
He sat on the couch and flipped on the TV. Some sort of special dinner was going on, and a famous supermodel was speaking to the paparazzi.
"Where's your daughter?" They called, and the stunning woman laughed. Len could see a sort of chill in her eyes towards the paparazzi, however.
"She doesn't like these events, you know?"
Len was about to change the channel when he heard something.
"Afraid of cameras and bright lights-"
What?
He flipped back to the channel to hear the paparazzi laughing uproariously.
"Afraid of bright lights and cameras! When her mother is so famous! How silly."
The supermodel's smile was quite cool.
"But it makes sense, because she's not very photogenic, right, Ricky?"
"Of course, Teesh!" Ricky chuckled, and Len was taken aback, shocked by the familiarity.
"My mommy's really pretty. They're so mean. They say I'm plain and not very pretty. I'm scared of camera lights and bright flashes."
He looked for a name for the supermodel, but the inevitable happened.
A power outage.
Len wanted to yell at the TV in frustration, but instead, he threw the useless remote on the couch and scowled, glowering at the screen. For once, he wished he kept up with 'news' like this. He drained down the rest of the smoothie, then went to clean the dishes and start his homework. He had to work really hard this time to put everything out of his mind.
...And tried his best to wipe a little girl out of his mind.
Unsuccessfully.
[...]
"You're seeing this, right?" Mikuo pointed at the screen in outrage with the remote, tossing it onto the couch. "Those gossip-hungry sharks with too much makeup are basically having a let's-bash-Rin holiday here!" The power outage had just cleared, and the event was over. The cameras had finally moved on from her mother's dinner and instead to the speaker.
Rin sunk deeper, fingers running through her hair. She'd let her hair down from its clip confines and it felt better. She'd also abandoned her glasses, revealing, finally, her bright eyes. Mikuo glanced at her, and then down. She looked so much prettier at home, but he was glad. No one else had to see this side of Rin.
"Ugh!" Miku grunted, tossing the remote far away, and glanced at her best friend. "Are you seriously okay with this... Crap?" She demanded to know, and Rin rolled her eyes to the ceiling.
"I don't care," she murmured, "as I've told you before."
"It's not nice to make fun of other people's fears!" Miku burst out, glaring savagely at the TV.
"It's not nice to make fun of other people, period." Mikuo grumbled. A small smile graced Rin's face.
"You guys care more than me, you know." She lazily opened her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "Come on, let it go."
"Fine." Miku spat, turning the TV off. "Anyway!" She announced, taking over a suddenly cheerful mood. Behind her happy face lurked some sort of menace, however. "The winter dance is coming up eventually, and then Christmas break! Ideas?"
"I'm staying here." Rin said abruptly. "My mom has a winter "Deck the Hall" shoot. My hands are tied."
"No, silly. I meant dates." Miku rolled her eyes, looking between her brother and best friend. Both were avidly avoiding her eyes. "Omigosh, why do I even hang out around you two?"
"You love us?" Rin suggested in a sheepish voice.
"You don't know how to communicate with any male but Mikuo and possibly Len," Miku pointed at Rin, scowling, "and we'll just have to work on that. And you," she turned on her brother, who answered with a scowl of his own, "well, you just have no excuse at all. You're just a sad sap. Man up already!"
Rin swung her gaze to him, eyes brightening. "You like someone, Kuo?" He hastily looked away, instead opting to glare at Miku.
"Butt out." He snapped at his sister. "God."
"Even a god couldn't help you now." Miku covered her face. "As for me, I already have a date, thanks for asking." She sniffed as Rin sat up.
"Really?" Her friend couldn't hide the imminent curiosity in her soft voice. "Who is it?"
"Well I'm not telling either of you a word until one of you has a date." Miku glared at Mikuo. "And if you do your job well, that shouldn't even be a problem!"
"Will you just-" Mikuo made a slicing motion across his neck, glaring at her. "Shut up!"
Miku threw her hands up. "I am surrounded by idiots."
"Well, sorry!" Rin grumbled. "But I can't do anything about my problem!"
"You wouldn't have to, if Mikuo would just-" Miku began to grumble, but his wicked glare in her direction ceased her flow of chatter. Rin shook her head.
"You both have screws loose," she laughed and stood up. "Either way, I don't even know if I'll go to the dance. I never go to dances."
"You have to get over it, Rin! This... Anxiety problem." Miku glanced at her friend, worried. "It could develop into a full disorder. I'm worried about you!"
"I'm just a little shy," Rin said defensively. "And only in front of a crowd of people, you know." The suspicious glance that Mikuo shot Miku did not go unnoticed by Rin. "Well, fine! I don't care." She grumbled indignantly, searching for her glasses.
"Can't you just ask her? Like, you know, ask, 'Hey! Want to go to the dance with me?'" Miku was snapping in the background.
"It's not that easy!" Mikuo returned angrily.
"Besides," and now Rin's voice was quiet and melancholy as Mikuo and Miku argued over their menial subjects, namely, the courage to ask someone to a dance, "if no one else cares about me, why should I care so much about myself?"
Phew~ Done! So... This is kind of an important chapter, so please, please leave me feedback! I love you all and I'm really glad I have you guys to support me for my stories^^
Lots of love!
~'Lias