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Chapter Four
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"Any luck?" Edward asked when Jacob hung up the phone.
"Maybe. He's gonna call me back tomorrow. Do you remember Jasper Whitlock?"
"Who?"
"Blond guy with dreadlocks. I used to buy weed from him in college. Remember, he pissed you off that time by taking the last Pepsi from the fridge without asking?"
"Oh. Him."
"Yeah, him. He did a couple of years in prison, got religion. It put him on the straight and narrow. Seriously, you wouldn't recognize him now and not just because he chopped off the dreads. Anyway, he called me after he got out and I pulled some strings to get him a job on the university maintenance crew. He owed me a favor."
"So much for the 'straight and narrow'."
Jacob shifted uncomfortably. "He said he'd just have to make a couple of calls to some people he hasn't talked to in a few years. He's not doing it himself, obviously. He's just getting me a contact."
Bella got up from the sofa and went to sprawl on the king sized bed. She looked dejected. Edward followed her and sat down beside her. He stroked her hair and she gave him a timorous smile of gratitude.
"She needs some clothes," Jacob said suddenly.
"We'll go shopping in the morning."
"And make her sleep in that gown again? She's got to be uncomfortable. And shoes. She needs shoes. And ... uh ... you know. Bras and shit."
"Where the hell are we supposed to get a wardrobe this late?"
"Catalupa is a civilized nation," Jacob said. "They have Walmarts. I think you should go."
"Me? Why me?"
"You live with a woman. You know the stuff that a woman needs. Like, girly-smelling shower gel and tampons."
"Do vampires menstruate?"
"Like I'd fuckin' know?"
Edward sighed. "I really wish she'd come with an instruction manual."
"We need to measure her," Jacob said, after he had given Edward directions to the store. He pulled out his keyring, upon which, he had an attached tape measure. He patted the edge of the bed and Bella slid down to sit on it. Jacob knelt down before her and gave Bella a wicked grin that made her giggle before slowly sliding his hand down her calf to lift her foot to rest on his thigh. He measured it and called the numbers out to Edward. He then guided Bella to her feet and measured around her waist and then the length from her hip to the floor. When he wrapped the tape around her chest, Edward felt an irrational surge of anger that surprised him. It was made worse by the fact that Jacob kept her giggling with his exaggerated leers.
"Need anything else?" Jacob asked as he let the tape zip back into the case.
"No," Edward said, his voice short and sharp enough to make Jacob glance over at him. "Keys." Jacob tossed them to him and Edward headed for the room door.
He couldn't understand it. He chided himself as he put the Land Rover in reverse and backed it out of the parking space. Jacob had made her laugh to keep her from being upset or offended by being measured. Why should that bother him? It made no sense.
He found the Walmart easily and parked the Land Rover in the center aisle, between the two sets of doors. He went inside and looked around curiously. He'd never been inside of a Walmart before, so this was a new and interesting experience for him. It amused him, for some reason, to see women's clothing only a few steps away from the produce section.
"Where'd you get that dress, Cindy?"
"At Walmart, across from the kumquats."
"Do you need a cart, sir?" An older woman in a logo-laden vest wheeled one up beside him.
Edward stammered out a thank you and made a hasty getaway. It wasn't until he was at the women's clothing section until it dawned on him that he had replied to her Spanish inquiry in French. He inwardly groaned and debated whether he should go back and apologize, but that would probably only make it worse.
He looked around at the array of choices which suddenly seemed vast and overwhelming. Great idea, Jake. Send the colorblind guy who can't talk to strangers to buy Bella's clothing. Bras and underwear were hanging below a sign which read 'Intimates" in Spanish and to the right was "Misses" but how was that any different than "Women's"? He couldn't see any difference. Both were clothes for females.
He decided to try for the bras and underwear first. What sort would Bella like? Tanya preferred embroidered lace and silk sets. Edward didn't see anything like that here. He spun in a circle, dumbfounded.
"Can I help you, sir?" A young girl with dark hair eyed him with suspicion.
Edward forced himself to take a calming breath. He tried very hard not to stammer. His face burned as he blurted, "I need bras and panties."
She arched a brow.
"They're for ... my wife."
The girl suppressed a smile. Suuure, her eyes said. "Do you know ... her ... sizes?"
He managed to choke out, "Thank you. Never mind." He'd figure it out himself.
She watched as he selected a wide array of styles, apparently entertained by his befuddlement. He'd just have to trust that the panties that were on the rack with the bras matched, because be damned if he'd ask.
He got a packet of socks for her, to keep her feet warm, and a pair of bunny slippers he thought she might find amusing. He selected a nightgown for her in a soft, silky material that had a matching robe included and then headed over to the clothing section. Dresses, he thought. She'd probably prefer dresses, though he'd get her some pants for her to try to see if she liked them. He wandered through the section grabbing things here and there that he thought would fit. He'd never been good at picking out pretty clothes, at least Tanya had never thought so. He hoped that Bella would be a little easier to please, since she didn't know what was currently fashionable.
The shoes were easier, at least. He chose a couple of pairs of sandals similar to what he'd seen worn in Catalupan art and a pair of Keds.
Now, on to the toiletries. As he wheeled the cart into the first aisle, he reflected that this was edging into unfamiliar territory. Tanya had a cabinet full of cosmetics, shampoos, and hair products. When she finished getting ready to go out, the counter in the bathroom would be covered with mysterious bottles and jars. She seemed to need the contents of dozens of the things to pull off a "natural" look, and one of them could have been Polyjuice potion, for all he knew.
The basics were easy: a toothbrush and toothpaste and a hair brush, but beyond that, he was starting to get out of his depth. He sniffed bottles of shower gel until his nose was numbed with scent. He finally chose a fruit-scented one, a scent with which she was likely to be familiar, and a shampoo. Did she need conditioner? He supposed so, but what kind? There was around a hundred varieties, each for specific hair problems. He'd had no idea that women's hair misbehaved in so many different ways. He finally selected one for "normal" hair since Bella's hair looked pretty normal to him, but for all he knew, she could be waging constant war against frizz, fading, dullness, lack of volume or split ends.
Once he reached the makeup, he instantly surrendered. He couldn't buy it for her, not without being able to see the color of her skin tone. He didn't think she needed it, anyway, but he did buy her a tube of lip gloss and some lotion. Tanya had once told him that every woman needed moisturizer. Of course, the type that Tanya bought was two hundred dollars an ounce and had some rare orchid extracts in it, or something along those lines.
He bought deodorant and shaving cream, along with women's razors (he could not see how they structurally varied from those deigned for men, but there had to be something different to justify the higher price.) When he reached the sanitary aisle, he froze. Though he lived with a woman, he had no idea which of these items she needed. Tanya kept hers in the bottom of that cabinet of potions and unguents and he had never been interested in poking around in there. He decided to buy one of everything. He'd rather they had it and not need it than not have it and poor Bella lack the ability to tell them.
He wheeled his overflowing cart to a checkout line, and fortunately, the cashier did not try to engage him in small talk as he rang up Edward's purchases. Edward paid and re-loaded the items in their plastic bags into the cart, then headed out to the Land Rover, grateful to make his escape with as little forced human interaction as possible. He packed all the bags into the back seat and wheeled the cart to the metal cage which directed that carts be returned, here. As he walked back to the vehicle, he prayed that he'd gotten her everything she needed because he sure as hell didn't want to repeat this experience any time soon.
He borrowed one of the luggage carts from the hotel lobby to carry up the bags in one trip. As much as he would have disliked having to talk again, he wished that the hotel offered valet and bellhop services as he parked and loaded the cart with all of his purchases. He awkwardly pushed it into the elevator and then wheeled it down the hall to their room door. As he fumbled for the keycard he'd put in his wallet, he heard a sound that chilled his blood: the rhythmic squeak of bedsprings.
He unlocked the door and burst through it. How could Jake seduce that poor, confused girl? As much as he loved his friend, he'd be the first to admit that Jacob could be selfish, but he couldn't believe that Jacob would have taken advantage of Bella like that. He threw open the bedroom door in a righteous fury and froze.
Bella was jumping on the bed, her skirt bunched in her hands. Her hair bounced all around her as she made a hopping circuit around the mattress, a grin of pure enjoyment on her face. Jacob sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, eating ice cream out of the carton and watching Spanish cartoons. He whipped his head around to look at Edward, the avenging angel who had no one's honor to avenge at this point. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just ... uh ... I heard ..."
Jacob tilted his head and listened to the sound of Bella's jumping and then chuckled. "You thought - " His chuckles turned into full-fledged laughter and Edward's cheekbones blossomed with red heat.
He turned to Bella with as much dignity as he could muster and gestured for her to follow him. "I've got some things for you, Bella." She hopped down off of the bed and trailed behind him into the living room. Edward took a bag off the cart and pulled out a dress. "I hope you like it," he said, feeling suddenly shy.
She looked at the dress in her hands and then pointed at her self with a questioning look.
"Yes, they're for you, Bella."
She gave him a huge, beaming smile that made every bit of the ordeal worth it and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. She pulled out the pins on her gown and both of the men whirled simultaneously to face in the other direction. "I think we can take it that she likes the clothes," Jacob said.
Bella said something and they turned to look at her. The dress was simple, cotton print that had short sleeves and a full skirt that reached to her calves. Bella whirled and the skirt belled out. She giggled and clapped her hands, then dove into the other bags with glee.
She took out a bra and looked at it curiously before she tossed it over her shoulder.
Jacob said delicately, "Um, I think one of us is going to have to ..."
"Forget about it," Edward replied. "That one, she has to figure out on her own." They had to turn around again as Bella stripped off the dress to try another.
Jacob nodded toward the bedroom. "Let's -"
"Yeah." They went inside, but left the door ajar.
"Where'd you get the ice cream?" Edward asked curiously as Jacob resumed his seat on the floor in front of the TV. He offered the carton to Edward, who declined, before he dug in once more.
"Convenience store, across the street," Jacob said around a mouthful of Chunky Monkey.
"You left her alone? You shouldn't h -" They both froze as they heard Bella squeal with laughter. They darted back into the living room and found her squeezing a bottle of douche and giggling as water spurted out of the nozzle in multiple directions, like a little fountain.
"At least the room will smell April Fresh," Jacob noted as he took it from her and put it back in the box. "Why'd you buy this for her?"
"I thought it was something women needed. You told me to get tampons and shit."
"Yeah, but they wouldn't have had Summer's Eve back in her day."
"Like they would have had Tampax?"
"Point taken." Jacob gathered up the bag of feminine hygiene products. "Let's set these things aside until we can communicate with her a little better or she seems to ... um ... need them."
Edward glanced over at Bella and saw that she wore one of the bras ... over her dress. The tag was still attached to the strap. In a little forlorn pile, the panties remained untouched. Edward sighed. He plucked the tag from the bra and showed her the picture on it of a woman wearing it over her bare skin. Bella nodded and pulled down the front of her dress. Edward closed his eyes, but not fast enough to avoid seeing ... and God, she was so beautiful. He turned at pointed at Jacob. "You deal with the underwear situation."
"Aw, fuck," Jacob muttered. Edward picked up the bag of toiletries and headed into the bathroom. He put the shower gel on the shelf in the tub along with the shampoo and conditioner. He laid out one razor, but thought the better of it and put it back into the bag. He heard Jacob say, "See? Under the clothes. That's why it's called underwear."
He returned and found Jacob had unzipped his jeans and pulled them over his hip so she could see the underwear that he was wearing. And now he was trying to explain that the tag always went in the back by pointing to the tag and patting her on the lower back. Bella looked over at Edward as though to say, "A little help, here?"
Edward chuckled and shook his head. He picked up the jade pins that were scattered on the floor and folded her gown. He wondered if he should send it out to be laundered and decided against it.
Having dealt with the underwear education situation, at least enough for one day, Jacob collapsed on the sofa with a sigh. He turned on the television.
"How did she react to that?" Edward asked, and nodded his head toward the screen.
"Not well, at first," Jacob said. He rubbed a hand over his hair and gave Edward a rueful grimace. "She looked at the screen, looked at the back of it, tried to reach inside. She saw an image of some people and ... well, I think that she thought they were trapped inside. It really seemed to trouble her. So I changed to some cartoons, and she seemed to accept that a lot better."
"Shaykob," Bella said.
They turned to her and she put her hand to her stomach and gave him a beseeching look.
"Hungry again? Jesus. You just drained Edward a few hours ago." But he wasn't reluctant. He smiled at her and held out his wrist in offering.
Edward kept his attention firmly on the television screen and tried hard not to listen to the moan Jacob gave. He tried to make his mind drift, as he used to whenever Tanya was waxing lyrical on the virtues of the latest fashion trend but he couldn't push away reality at the moment. He closed his eyes and counted, instead.
It was too goddam early for the phone to ring. Jacob grunted in irritation and fumbled for the bedside phone. "H'lo," he mumbled.
"Jacob? It's Jasper."
"Oh, hey man." Jacob rolled over and rubbed a hand over his face. "What's up?"
"I think I found someone for you."
"Really? That's great."
"She's expensive," Jasper warned.
"Worth it?"
"Every penny, from what I hear. She sets up an identity, everything from vaccination and school records, even a credit history. It's impeccable."
"Awesome. When can she start?"
"She'll be on a plane tomorrow."
"She's coming here? Why?"
"Easier, I guess. I don't know."
"What's her name?"
"Rosalie Hale is what she goes by, but who the fuck knows if that's her real name or not. She's going to meet you in Catalupa City. The Hilton. Be in the bar at seven P.M. tomorrow. She'll find you."
"How will I know her?"
Jasper chuckled. "Oh, trust me, you'll know her."
"Thanks, Jasper. You don't know how much I appreciate this."
"When I got out of prison, you were the only one who helped me, the only one who let me have a second chance. I won't forget that."
"I'm sorry I had to make you talk to people that you would have preferred to leave behind, in your old life."
"It's okay. I handled it. I'm just glad I could use them for a good cause for once. Who is this girl? Pardon me if this sounds harsh, but I've never known you to lift a finger for one of your flings before."
Jacob glanced over at the bundle of blankets that was Bella. She rolled herself in them like a burrito before she went to sleep. "She's not a fling."
"I gathered that. Finally have a real girlfriend?"
"No, it's not like that. She's ... she's a friend."
"Hm. Another first."
"Yeah, I suppose so."
"Good luck, Jake. Let's grab a beer sometime when you get home."
"Will do. And thanks again, Jasper."
He hung up the phone and peeked over the Bella Burrito at Edward, who lay on the other side of her, perfectly straight on his back, his hands folded on his stomach. Even when he slept, Edward was uptight. Edward opened one eye. "Who's coming?"
"The forger. Her name is Rose. Supposed to be the best." Jacob scratched his chin and yawned.
"Good, good," Edward mumbled. Within seconds, Jacob heard the pattern of his breathing change as he fell back asleep. Jacob stuffed his arm beneath his pillow and snuggled down into it. He had the fleeting thought that they were both going to become nocturnal creatures themselves, as long as they had Bella.
"Shaykob."
"Mmph?"
"Shaykob!"
"What?" Jacob rolled over and found Bella standing beside the bed. It must be sunset already. Jacob sat up and yawned. "What do you want, Bella?"
"Oo-ash," she said. When he didn't jump to do her bidding, she stomped her foot. "Oo-ash!"
"Yeah, okay, okay." Jacob swung his legs to the floor and padded after her toward the bathroom. He had to admire her shapely backside as she walked. (Edward had said last night, with a hint of despair, that he hadn't expected the nightgown to be so sexy, to cling to every curve and flow over her body like it did.) The peach gown fluttered around her feet like rippling water as she walked, its glamor that of a 1930s movie star.
She waited at the door for him to pass and he went inside to turn on the taps. He filled the tub for her; he didn't think she'd like a shower yet. A generous dollop of the shower gel made the tub fill with bubbles and she was enchanted. She came into the bathroom and scooped up a handful. She examined the foam with a curious tilt to her head. Jacob blew across her flat palm and the bubbles hit her in the nose. For a moment, she seemed shocked, and then a smile lit up her face. A wicked smile. She grabbed handfuls of bubbles to fling at him, and of course Jacob had to retaliate. By the time Edward woke and came to see what all the noise was about, they had spattered the entire bathroom with bubbles and both of them were covered from head to toe. Edward laughed softly and shook his head.
"You wanna get in on this?" Jacob invited.
Edward shook his head. "You two have fun. I'm going to make coffee and watch the news."
Jacob thought that was odd, but he went back to playing with Bella until Edward called his name. Jacob went out into the living room and saw Edward point at the television ... where his picture was displayed. A horrible cold, electric weight settled in his gut.
"Edward, what are they saying?"
Edward held up a finger to tell him to wait for a moment. He listened until the segment ended, and it felt like an eternity to Jacob.
"They're accusing you of robbing the tomb," Edward said. "They think that there was a mummy, which you stole, because of the broken crown they found on the floor and the fact that there was no dust in the sarcophagus."
"Oh, shit," Jacob whispered. "Lauren. Fucking woman scorned ..."
"This means we'll need two sets of papers forged," Edward said. "They'll have customs informed and they're not going to let you leave the country."
Jacob sat down heavily on the sofa, despite the fact that his pants were soaking wet. "Oh, my God."
"The good news is that Catalupa doesn't have an extradition treaty with the United States, a symbolic gesture to protest the use of the death penalty in the U.S. Once you're on American soil, they can't do anything to you."
"The bad news is, I can never return to Catalupa." Jacob felt his throat tighten. He'd never be able to do another dig here and it was a crushing blow to his dreams. He'd probably never be able to do another dig anywhere because his reputation was shot to hell.
God, he felt sick.
Edward turned off the television and sat down beside him and laid an arm over Jacob's shoulders. Edward didn't speak any platitudes. That was not Edward's way.
It was so quiet in the room that they could hear Bella splashing around in the tub. She must have finally decided to get in herself if no one was going to "oo-ash" her. Jacob smiled a little. He couldn't regret any of it, even though it had cost him his dreams. Because he had made the most incredible find of his life: the Dark Goddess who was currently playing in a tub full of bubbles.
That evening, after Bella had finished with her bath (she wanted to wear the nightgown again, but Edward coaxed her into wearing one of the dresses) they packed up their things. Bella's new wardrobe fit into Edward's suitcase, though they had to leave the toiletries in their plastic bags. They used the luggage cart to transport everything, though Edward and Bella took the stairs instead of the elevator, while Jacob rode down with their luggage.
To their relief, Bella seemed enthusiastic about another ride in the car. She sat up front with Jacob, who drove, and had a pleasant time of poking buttons, rolling the windows up and down and combing through the glove department. The Land Rover's owners' manual fascinated her with the pictures of the engine, diagrams of the electronics and step-by-step instructions on how to change a flat tire.
Jacob plugged his iPod into the radio and turned it on for her. "It is time, my dear, to begin your musical education." He pressed play on the first song and Come Monday poured out of the speakers.
"Ed'urrr!" she exclaimed..
"No, Jimmy Buffett," Jacob corrected. "You seemed to like this one, so I thought we'd start with it."
He had, apparently, constructed a play list for Bella, of music that spanned all of the genres
"Rather ... eclectic in your choices, aren't you?" Edward asked as AC/DC blared from the speakers.
"I want to find what she likes."
As it turned out, Bella liked Sarah McLaughlin and Enya, two choices that made Jacob wince, but he played them for her until she swished her hand as an indication she wanted to hear something else. She loved Willie Nelson's Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain.
"Again?" Jacob asked.
"Uggin!" she agreed.
And so it went, all the way to the hotel in Catalupa City. Edward didn't know what information Jacob was gleaning from this process because Bella seemed to like songs from many genres (except for hard rock; she did not say "Uggin" to any of those offerings.)
The Hilton had valet service and a bellhop loaded a luggage cart with their bags. Jacob's tape-bedecked suitcase and Bella's Walmart bags probably raised eyebrows behind their backs, but Edward tipped well, as usual and the room he had booked was one of their finest suites.
Bella gasped when she saw it and darted around the room, examining the sculptures, the appliances in the small kitchen. She apparently thought the hanging rack of wine glasses was a musical instrument, because she shook it several times to hear the glasses clink. Edward winced, but none of them broke.
Edward and Jacob spent the evening teaching her English words, the names for various items she pointed to around the room. She only needed to hear it a couple of times before she understood - and memorized - the words, even if she couldn't always repeat them clearly. In the bathroom, she pointed to the toilet and said "ug-ee"and Edward cringed. He still felt guilty for making her feel bad.
Later, she sat down to watch cartoons with Jacob (the hotel had an American "family" television channel and she watched it intently, picking up words here and there with surprising speed.
Near dawn, she yawned, and Jacob escorted her to the bedroom. They checked the curtains carefully to make sure they were tightly closed and that the "do not disturb" sign was on the door. Bella wrapped herself in a blanket, which Edward suspected she did from fear of sunlight.
He'd gotten the room because it had multiple bedrooms, but as it turned out, neither of them wanted to leave. They both mentally assured themselves that it was to make Bella feel safer that they took spots on either side of her, and neither were willing to consider the real reasons.
The next evening, Jacob headed down to the bar and ordered himself a beer. He glanced around at the occupants of the room, few because it was early yet. He watched a soccer game on the TV suspended from the ceiling, and no one glanced twice in his direction. Hopefully, the Catalupans paid as little attention to the news (especially archaeology news) as Americans did.
When Rosalie Hale walked into the room, Jacob's jaw dropped. Yeah, no shit he'd know who she was.
She was a statuesque blonde, Marilyn Monroe if she were taller and curvier. Her sugarfloss hair was flipped into in a 40s-style wave and she wore a bright red evening gown. Her lipstick and nails matched. Her mouth curved up in a smile as she surveyed the room of stunned men. She accepted their homage as her due and strode to the bar, her absurdly high heels clicking on the marble floor. She slid onto the barstool beside Jacob.
"Hello." She offered her hand to shake. "Rose Hale."
"Jacob Black."
"Nice to meet you. Where is our friend with the identity issues?"
Jacob cleared his throat. "That's part of the issue. We now need two."
Rose lit a cigarette. Jacob was a bit surprised, but Catalupa hadn't banned smoking in public places as many the states in the U.S. had done. The bartender brought her an ashtray. "Two?"
"Yeah. One for me as well. I have recently developed some ... issues with law enforcement."
"Ah." Rose blew out a stream of smoke. "Double."
"I figured that."
"You didn't answer me. Where's the girl?"
"She's in our room. She doesn't do so well with public places yet."
Rose stabbed out her cigarette. "Take me to her."
Jacob looked back forlornly at his mostly untouched beer as they headed for the elevators. They rode upstairs in silence. Jacob used his keycard and opened the door for her. Bella was watching television with Edward. She frowned when she saw Rose and stood, pulling herself up to her full height. Rose locked eyes with her and to Jacob's surprise, it was Rose who backed down. Her voice was much softer when she spoke to Bella, and part of her aggressive confidence was seemingly tucked away. "Hello, Bella. I'm Rosalie Hale." She stuck her hand out and Bella just stared at it.
"She, uh, doesn't shake hands," Jacob offered.
Rosalie dropped her hand back to her side. "I see. Does she speak English?"
"Not really. A few words."
"Habla Español?" Rose smiled coaxingly at Bella.
"Nope."
Rosalie turned to Jacob with an expectant look on her face. "She speaks an obscure Catalupan dialect," Jacob told her. "We're ... uh ... working on the language barrier."
"I see. And what about you, Mr. Cullen?"
Edward had been silently watching, but now that the attention was on him, he went blank.
"He speaks English," Jacob offered.
"I know. I read his paper on chi particles in an excited state."
Edward blinked.
She tossed him a smile. "I only understood about half of it, but I did read it."
Jacob was impressed because he rarely understood any of it. Whenever Edward started talking about particles and bosons Jacob began to zone out. The shit just made no sense to him.
Rose was back to all-business. She took a seat on the sofa and crossed her long legs. "So, Mr. Cullen, how do you feel about getting married?"
..
A/N: I'm entered in the "Til The World Ends" Contest and we need more entries. I've promised to write the one-shot of your choice if there are ten more stories entered.
fanfiction (dot) net/u/3739378/TillTheWorldEndsContest