I do not own anything except the storyline.
"Move it, Faggoty Anne," Finn nastily spat straight into my face before shoving me to the side. His ass-kissing friends then proceeded to sling the contents of their slushy cups all over me and my lunch tray. Cackling like hyenas and fist bumping each other, the herd of morons stalked off to the "Popular Kids" table.
Doesn't matter, I wasn't going to eat this shitty school gruel any-fucking-way. I throw away the soiled food and proceeded to the restroom to clean the sludge off my sweater.
I broke one of my major rules today and smoked weed before school. Yeah, I know I know. Stupid fucking Santana, at it again. I didn't really have the best wake up call, as per usual, and I couldn't find any of my goddamn razors. Which means I have to go out and buy some after school with the cash I make selling left over weed, the thing is is that I really needed a fix of some sort so I just took a couple hits to chill out a little. Sorry, I'm rambling. Mmm, the slushy kinda tastes good when it's in my mouth and not sliding down from my teared-up eyes.
As I enter the bathroom the first thing I notice is I'm not alone. Brittany leaning on one of the stalls wearing faded blue denim shorts, rainbow suspenders, and the most luckiest tank-top in the world, while Quinn stood there in her 'innocent girl' white sundress. Jesus. Imma faint. Wait what? Why am I thinking this thoughts? I'm mean I know I'm gay but I didn't think I would ever get a lady-boner for Brittany. Quinn's cute but the 'virgin girl' act really contradicts her true nature. Total turn off. Brittany's tank top is really letting my imagination run wild. Whoa. I just got a lady-boner again. Seriously, what's wrong with me today? Must be the weed.
The blondes notice me and immediately snicker at my predicament. Seeeee. I told ya' they'd be bitches again. Oh well. I head to the sink farthest from them and start wetting paper towels to use for my slushy-covered front. I hear them giggling and I can basically feel Brittany preparing to make a snide comment. But before she can, my backpack that I placed on the counter next to me clatters to the ground. I mentally thanked every deity that made the stupid sack fall, because right now I really can't deal with her bullshit.
"Aha, dumb bitch isn't even capable of hand-eye-coordination," Brittany says while rolling her eyes at me. My thankfulness now abandoned and replaced with embarrassment.
I look to the ground and frown at the fucking thing. Cuntfaced sack, embarrassing me like this. How dare you. Wait, did I say that out loud? Well, considering the confused faces of Quinn and Brittany... I must have. Oh god can I go die in a hole? Please? No? Okay.
"I think she's high, Britt Britt." I hear Quinn mutter to Brittany. No shit Sherlock.
"What the fuck did you just say, you fucking taco-licker?" Quinn says looking incredulously at me. Oh fuck, I said that out loud again. See this is why you don't smoke weed before school.
With new found confidence that the Ganja provided me, I scoffed lightly and said, "Wow blondie #1, you've offended both my ethnicity and my sexual-orientation in one fucking word. I applaud you." I added I a little clap at the end of my short but proud filled rant. Quinn's jaw dropped to the floor while Brittany just smirked viciously in my direction.
Goddamn it, Santana. Look at what your dumb ass did. They're going to fucking kill me. SHITSHITSHIT. Why is Brittany biting her lip and looking at me like she's hungry? Fuck. That's so hot but I know that face only means she's thinking up some sort of revenge on my ass. I quickly finish wiping the almost forgotten slushy off me and walk as unclumsily as I can out the restroom.
The rest of my school time consisted of me hiding in the library and skipping classes till the last ten minutes so I could get the homework agendas. The teachers' either didn't notice me or didn't acknowledge me. Well, whatevs.
In the library, I finish at least over my assignments and homework so I don't have much to deal with at home. If don't finishhome before my father comes home from drinking at the bar or working, then he would usually just crumple the papers and throw them in trash bin. After he 'straightens' me out, I have go redo the papers on separate sheets of paper that I pick up free from the hardware store a couple blocks from my house.
The whole ordeal in the restroom sobered me somewhat. I'm so fucking pissed at myself right now. How could I even allow myself to retort Quinn? Why the fuck did Brittanjust are at me like that? Jesus. I'm probably just overreacting. They'll just slushy me or pull some kind of prank. God, what was I thinking?! I was practically asking for trouble!
Stupid. Dumbass. Clueless little asshat. Sigh... I hear the bell ring signifying the end of school has arrived and that another torturous day is finally over. I gather my half-finished paperwork and head out the library, passing the administration office.
As I walk by I hear voices talking and I hear my name being said. Curious to what they were saying about me, I leaned on a corner of the office building,which effectively hid me, and listened in on what they were saying. Surprisingly enough it was only Brittany and Quinn standing and talking on the other side.
"I don't know, Quinn. There has to be something going on in her home. Did you see the look in her eyes when she realized what we saw on the first day of school? It fucking chilled me to the bone."
"I know, B. But we shouldn't get involved in Santana's personal problems. I mean, if we did and somebody found out we were actually associating ourselves with Lezpez The Lima Nerd, everybody would shun us and treat us like shit."
"You mean how everyone treats her like? Really Quinn? That's what you're concerned about? I didn't think you would stoop so low." I hear Brittany huff and scuffle her Vans on the pavement.
"Oh shutup, B. I'm only looking out for you and me," Quinn retorts, "You saw those cuts the dyke probably put on her self. She's fucking mental!"
"Yeah, I fucking saw them. Why the fuck do you think she does it, huh? Just for fun? There has to be a reason, Lucy."
"Why are you so concerned about the faggot anyway? She's fucking disgusting, really. She practically drooled on you today... I swear I was gunna hurl all over her. Ughh."
"I-I don't know, Q. Maybe we should tell somebody." Brittany suggests and I jump into action, stumble towards the startled blondes, and open my mouth to speak.
"No. Please, don't say anything to anyone. Please, I-I'll do whatever you ask just do n-not tell anybody." I plead with a growing lump in my throat. I stare into brittany's eyes and hope to god she goes back to not even caring about me or my situation.
"Look, I can get you money or drugs or whatever the fuck you want just do NOT say anything to anyone." My voice is panicky and I'm panting so hard.
Quinn looks at me with newfound interest at my words, while Brittany just gapes at me with eyebrows raised to her hairline. Quinn opens her mouth to speakbut Brittany beats her to it, "Why can't we tell anyone? You need help." Brittany's eyes probe mine and her hands pull my armsleeves up but I push her hands away and scoff.
"Why? So they can put me on meds and put me in a foster home? No. I don't fucking think so. Why should you care anyway. You guys are probably glad that even I know how worthless I am. Get off your high fucking horse and butt out of my business. I didn't ask for you to be so concerned and I certainly do not want to your reputations ruined by me being seen talking to you cruel bitches." I snarl and run off, not looking where I'm going.
It's midnight now and I'm at a secluded park I stumbled upon. It has a beautiful little pond that has a little family of ducks. It reminds me of how there are still some good things in the world. Just not in my world.
I'm so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. All my problems are grating into my soul. If I even have one. I just want go to sleep and never have to wake up to to all this fuckery. I want to end it all. I have to. It's just so much to bear. I can't handle it all anymore.
Reaching my descion, I pull out newly bought razors from my satchel and begin cutting deep into wrist. It's amazing. All the swirling red, the fading glimmer on the pond, the faint sounds of ducks quacking. Wait. What's that standing over me? Why is it yelling? Brittany? What is she doing here? Shhh. Your going to disturb the ducks. Shh-.
Sorry for any grammatical mistakes. I need some constructive critiscm. Please review.