As the sun rose in the morning sky, thin slivers of light filtered in through the thick, outdated hotel curtains. Tara watched Jax sleep, her confidence from the night before fading quickly. He was so beautiful. Almost too beautiful to be real. Tara had awoken hours earlier in a panic, sure it was all just a dream. But then there he was, sleeping peacefully beside her, his hand resting on the curve of her hip. She wanted to stay in that moment forever, but she knew she couldn't. Soon, Jax would awake, probably with a headache to rival hers, and he would regret what they did. He would blame it on the alcohol, and then he would hop in his fancy little rental car and hightail it back to his fancy little life on the coast. And Tara would be alone. Again. At least she'd gotten one incredible night with her perfect man.
She didn't bother feigning sleep as Jax stirred beside her. He was used to people staring at him. He opened his eyes slowly, his gaze meeting hers across the pillow. She forced a nervous smile, readying herself for the rejection that was sure to come. Jax smiled back, a genuine, satisfied smile.
"Hey," he mumbled sleepily, moving his hand from Tara's hip to the small of her back, pulling her toward him. "Good morning."
"Good morning," she whispered. He settled his chin atop her head as she pressed her cheek to his chest. He probably just feels guilty, she thought. Tara quickly lost herself in the sound of Jax's heartbeat. It reminded her that this perfect specimen of a human was just that- human. He was mortal and vulnerable and very real, despite the fact that he was the epitome of what fantasies were made of. His heart rate picked up pace as he opened his mouth to speak. Was he nervous, too?
"So," he said. "What now?" What now? Tara had been asking herself that question for hours, and was no closer to an answer than Jax seemed to be. Was theirs just a one night stand, two lonely, familiar ships passing in the night? Or would something more come of it? And how the hell would that work? Jax was an enemy of the club now. Tara was more than a crow-eater, less than an old-lady, but definitely part of the SAMCRO family. Her head began to spin, taking away from the wonderful moment she was living in. So she put the bigger questions aside and chose to focus on something more immediate.
"Breakfast?" she suggested.
Jax laughed as he kissed her on the forehead. "Breakfast," he agreed.
The next two days were a whirlwind. Jax and Tara spent every moment together, just as they had when they were younger. They hardly left Jax's hotel room, aside from when they were sick of room service. Tara had never been more intimate with anyone in her life, physically or otherwise. While the sex was phenomenal, and damn near constant for that first twenty four hours, it was their talks that left Tara feeling completely exposed. They didn't talk about the future, or about the specifics of their separate pasts, but rather much grander themes- life, love, the pursuit of happiness. They reminisced about their time together without ever touching on the raw nerve that was Jax's decision to leave Tara behind, or Tara's decision to ruin their future, as Jax probably saw it.
A heavy weight began to bear down on Tara as Sunday came to an end. While Sophie would still be with Chibs for another five days, Tara had to work Monday morning. She and Jax had spent the weekend shutting the world out, but that was only a temporary solution to a much bigger problem. They couldn't keep the real world at bay forever, and in the real world, nothing would come easy for them. Tara wasn't sure how they would fit into each other's lives outside of the little bubble they'd created, or if they'd even be able to at all.
"Can't you just call in sick, or take an impromptu vacation?" Jax pleaded. Tara stood at the hotel room door, poised to leave, a sick feeling in her gut.
"I wish," she said with a sad smile. "We're already short-handed this week. And my cab's probably waiting, so I really have to-" Jax interrupted her by pressing his lips to hers. She melted into him, not ready to leave, and dreading facing the light of day. She looked like a mess- no makeup, same dress she'd been wearing since Friday, hair in tangles. Jax didn't seem to mind as he pulled her into him, kissing her more passionately. It took every bit of strength she had to pull away. "I'm sorry, Jax," she whispered. "I have to go."
The cab ride to Saul's was every bit as mortifying as Tara's walk of shame through the hotel, but she was the one who'd insisted on taking a taxi. She didn't want Jax stepping foot back in Charming until she'd had a chance to talk to Chibs and find out what was going on. It was too dangerous. The parking lot was empty when they arrived, which meant her car had been towed. Awesome. She'd have to call the bar when she got home and find out where it was impounded. She gave the cab driver directions to her house and dozed off in the back seat on the way. She hadn't gotten much sleep over the weekend. She didn't want to miss a single second with Jax.
"We're here, lady," the cab driver announced gruffly, waking Tara from her half-slumber. She sat up, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted. Her stomach dropped when she saw her house. Her car was parked in the driveway, Chibs' bike behind it. She quickly paid the driver and clamored out of the vehicle. What was Chibs doing there? Was Sophie with him? She didn't want her daughter seeing her in such a disheveled state. While she dreaded having to face Chibs, she hurried into the house, anxious to verify that nothing had happened to Sophie.
She found him seated on her couch, drinking a beer, staring at a black TV screen. "Chibs?" she asked, not attempting to hide her alarm. He turned to her, looked her up and down with sad, weary eyes, and took a drink from the bottle in his hand. The look on his face told Tara everything she needed to know. This wasn't about Sophie. This was all about her.
"Where's Jackie Boy?" he accused, his voice full of more venom than he'd ever spoken to Tara with before. Her heart raced, and not in a good way. She sat down on the edge of the chair opposite the couch, watching Chibs nervously. He looked her up and down, his face a mix of disappointment and disgust.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, deflecting.
Chibs let out an exasperated sigh. "I think we both know the answer to that."
"Where's Sophie?" Tara scanned the room for any sign that their daughter might be there. The house was immaculate, which meant Chibs was alone. Sophie was a like a little tornado.
"With Gemma," he answered curtly. "Thank God. Wouldn't want her to catch her ma doing the walk of shame, now, would we?" Tara hung her head. "Y-know, I suspected this would happen the minute that little shit came walking into the clubhouse like he owned the place. But I've gotta give you credit, love. I didn't think it would happen so quickly."
Angry, embarrassed tears formed in Tara's eyes, and she fought to keep from revealing them to Chibs. "What I do," her voice broke, "on my own time is none of your business."
Chibs sucked air in through his teeth and smacked his lips, thoroughly annoyed. "Normally, I'd agree with ya," he said. "But this is different, and you know it."
"How?" The question sounded ridiculous even to Tara.
Chibs chuckled, leaning back into the couch. "Jax betrayed the club, Tara. My club. And you are my-"
"Your what?" Tara interrupted, her eyes wide. In all the years since their relationship crossed the line of friendship, Chibs had never staked a claim on her before. And she wasn't about to let him do it now.
"You're my family," he explained, his voice softening just a bit. "You are my daughter's mother. And I can't have you shacking up with an enemy because the two of you want to relive the past."
Tara quickly wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek, but not before Chibs saw it. His expression changed to one of pity. Tara had only ever cried in front of him one other time, when she told him she was pregnant. He got up from the couch and made his way to her, his hands raised in an offering of peace. He crouched down so that they were face to face, resting a hand on her bare knee.
"Darlin', you know this isn't me. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy, and live your own life. But not with him." Tara buried her face in her hands, her head spinning. Everything that had happened over the past few days finally began to sink in, leaving her with more questions than answers. Were her and Jax even a thing, or was it over? They hadn't made any sort of plans to see or talk to each other again when they said goodbye, so maybe all their rekindled romance would amount to was one beautiful weekend. Was it even worth fighting with Chibs about? Jax could be on his way back home, for all Tara knew, never to be seen or heard from again. She hadn't even thought to get his number. The thought of Jax disappearing as abruptly as he'd reappeared made her sick to her stomach.
She looked up at Chibs, remembering exactly why she did need to talk to him about this. "What are you going to do to him?" she asked quietly. "Please don't hurt him."
Chibs was visibly taken aback. "Hurt him? Nobody's going to hurt him." He'd never lied to Tara before, and it made her angry.
"I saw Tig and Half-Sack at Saul's Friday night. They were looking for him. They were going to…"
"What?" Chibs looked surprised. Lying to Tara was one thing, but putting on some big, fake act was another.
"Don't pretend you didn't know," she accused.
Chibs shook his head, standing up and pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I didn't," he promised. "And I doubt Clay did, either."
Tara's brow furrowed with worry. "Chibs, what is going on?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "But I'll handle it." He headed toward the door, dialing a number into his phone, probably Clay's. "We'll finish this later. You just…just get yourself cleaned up."
Before Tara could respond, Chibs was out the door. Normally, he wouldn't have thought twice about handling club business in front of her. But it was clear to them both that a line was forming in the sand, and they were on opposite sides of it. Tara hated to think of Chibs as her enemy. He was right. They were family. But she could never side against Jax. She was sure of that.
Tara struggled through work Monday, feeling like a zombie. She'd tossed and turned all night, thinking about Jax and Chibs and the club. Just a few minutes with Chibs had turned her perfect weekend into a waking nightmare. She was a ball of raw nerves, ready to break down at any moment, counting down the last few minutes of the day until she could go home. She was just finishing up administering vaccines to a very tightly wound chihuahua when the intercom in her exam room crackled to life.
"Tara," the receptionist called unenthusiastically. "Come to the front for a moment please." Tara removed her rubber gloves, washed her hands, and meandered slowly down the long hall leading to the reception area. The waiting room was empty, save for the young redhead behind the counter and the giant bouquet of red roses beside her.
"What's up, Krista?" she asked, feeling jealous of the young receptionist, who had recently embarked on yet another new relationship. Nobody ever gave Tara flowers, unless you counted the dandelions Sophie sometimes picked for her.
"For you," Krista said, shoving her thumb toward bouquet before turning back to her computer. Tara was stunned. For her? With shaking hands, she reached for the small white card stuck between two immaculate flowers. On it was one simple, handwritten word. Hi. She gasped, her heart racing. Krista looked up at her, intrigued.
"Who are thooooose from?" she goaded. "The delivery guy was super hot, by the way. Had this younger, blonder Brad Pitt thing going on." Without a word, Tara raced to the door. In the parking lot, leaning against his rental car, was Jax Teller with his arms crossed casually over his chest. When he caught sight of Tara, he raised his sunglasses and winked, a wicked smile forming on his lips.
"Oh. My. God," Tara giggled, suddenly very aware of the fact that Krista was practically on top of her, staring out the window with her.
"Oh. My. God," Krista repeated, in disbelief. Normally, Tara would have taken a moment to enjoy the young beauty's jealousy. Nobody was ever jealous of Tara. But she was too anxious to get to Jax to care about anything else. She pushed open the door, forgetting about her flowers, about Krista, and about Chibs. Only one thing mattered. And he was standing right in front of her.