A/N: Well, this is quickly turning into the Worst Night Out Ever! I'm glad so many of you are eager to find out what happens next =) As always: thank you all for the kind reviews, you guys really do inspire me to keep writing, even on days when I'm short on energy and inspiration. Ah, by the way, I do know that some of you are real-life physicists, and y'all also know I am NOT. So if you laugh at my fumbly attempts at cracking scientific jokes, well... then that was my intent all along =)

- YlvaB

'Damn these heels are high' Amy thought as she made her way to the bar, clenching her toes and keeping her chin up, watching in awe as the crowd parted like the Red Sea to let her through. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she couldn't help but throw a flirtatious glance at the men who smiled at her as she leaned against the counter, thrilled at the chance to bask in the attention that was usually reserved for girls like Penny.

Deciding she would treat herself to something really nice (just because her dress had that 'I'm your private dancer, dancer for money'-quality to it, it didn't mean she was cheap) she ordered a Cosmopolitan, feeling impossibly glamorous as the bartender whipped up her drink, the pink liquid glimmering as the flickering lights hit it. 'I'm liking this experiment already!' she thought to herself as she took her first sip, her back against the counter as she looked out at the sea of hairless, bipedal primates that were currently well on their way to disprove the theory that humans were at the top of the evolutionary ladder. From what she gathered they bore a striking resemblance to the flatworms she had gotten hooked on methamphetamine a few years back: blind, wriggling, naked, grinding their genitals together while sucking face as if they only had a month-long life span. Yup, flatworms indeed.

She was being watched.

There were bar tables at the opposite end of the room, one of them occupied by a large group of men who looked to be her age. They were all laughing and drinking, except for a tall, muscular blond man whose eyes bore straight into hers. 'Oh whoa' Amy thought, quickly diverting her gaze. Suddenly she felt a little insecure: she wasn't very well versed in these matters but the look in that man's eyes made her nervous. Perhaps she ought to find Sheldon instead.

Before she had the chance to leave he had walked up to her, towering over her as he shot her another intense stare, showing off bright white teeth as he smiled at her.

"You're very pretty" he said, his voice oozing confidence. 'Oh well, I was looking for subjects to interview' Amy reminded herself, taking a sip of her drink, hoping she looked sophisticated.

"Umm… hello to you too" she rumbled stoically, her deep contralto almost disappearing into the techno bass tone that vibrated through the room.

"I like your dress. You look like a fine girl. Not like the others in here" the man continued, putting his elbow on the counter, biting his bottom lip as he kept looking at her. Amy swallowed, staring down at her feet and those poor toes of hers that were crammed into those damned black pumps. She knew she wasn't supposed to interview alpha males but darn it, she'd waited seventeen years for the popular boys to notice her! She resisted the urge to giggle, tucking one of her dark curls behind her ear.

"While I do appreciate the compliment, I believe some sort of formal introduction is in order. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler" the (normally) bespectacled brunette staccatoed and her held hand out, feeling herself perk up at the normalcy of this action. The man was slightly taken aback by her stoic demeanor, but quickly grabbed her hand, surprised by the firmness of her handshake.

"David" he replied, finding himself intrigued by this unusual woman. 'She's mine' he decided, leaning over her protectively.

"Do you wanna do vodka shots?" David called out, thinking she might need some buttering up before he made his move.

Amy could hardly contain herself. A popular boy was hitting on her, she had just been offered free drinks, and she wore contacts for the first time in her life. Ain't nobody calling her four-eyes tonight!

"Sure!" she giggled happily, downing the last of her Cosmo.

David ordered a tray of vodka shots and Amy felt a slight wave of doubt ripple through her stomach but decided to ignore it. He was just being nice. Yeah. Right.

"Alright, on three?" David asked, holding up the shot glass while keeping his gaze firmly locked on hers, almost possessively. Oh my.

"Okay" Amy nodded, putting the glass to her mouth as he counted them in, coughing as the liquid burned her throat.

"Oh boy, that's… ahem" she hissed, clasping her hand over her chest as she felt the vodka slide down all the way to her stomach, shutting her eyes tightly as is kept burning, thinking she might have to stop by the pharmacy tomorrow to pick up some Prilosec. She had a feeling she'd have a serious case of heartburn in the morning.

"So, David" Amy asked once her stomach had calmed down, "how many girls have you done vodka shots with tonight?"

As nice as it was to soak in the attention, she was here to work. She picked up her notebook from her purse, along with a pencil. Sometimes she really did envy Sheldon his eidetic memory.

David blinked, once again taken aback by her bluntness. And what was up with that notebook?

"Only you. What are you writing?"

"Just personal notes. Hit my head as a kid, ended up with amnesia. Did you see that movie 'Memento'? I have to write down the questions I ask people as to not get repetitive. It's not a very charming quality to have" Amy ad-libbed, taking notes as she spoke.

David nodded, picking up two more vodka shots.

"Another?" he asked, once again leaning closer.

"Certainly" Amy let out, fighting the urge to cringe. Prilosec, buttermilk, and probiotic yoghurt. Her poor stomach would need some serious TLC.

"May I ask" she groaned as she held her hand to her throat, "if buying me drinks is a poorly disguised attempt on your part to get me 'oiled up' as they say, and more willing to participate in a frivolous night of horizontal rumba with you once this establishment closes?"

Oy vey, those shots had gone straight to her head. Normally she didn't drink spirits, at least not neat. Watching the room spin around her, she smiled at the tall, attractive man who offered her yet another shot. 'Well, what the hell' she thought, accepting it, realizing it was a bad idea and that she was quickly getting drunk enough to enjoy that fact.

"Aaaaand" she continued as she slammed down the glass upside down on the counter, "is this something you do every night or just on Fridays?"

She held out her pencil and notebook, idly awaiting his reply. She gasped as he put one of his hands on hers to lower her arms, closing up on her until his body grazed hers, forcing her to crane her neck to make up for the difference in height between them.

"Can I ask you something now?" David said, ignoring her questions.

"Uhhh… sure" Amy stuttered, thinking she really needed to abort this mission and find Sheldon.

"Is it working?" the blond man let out, staring down at her as he lifted his hand to trace her jawline with his index finger.

"Hey…" Amy began, backing away from him. "That's close enough mister!"

Damn was this room spinning! It truly had been a horrible move to have those vodka shots, especially since she was wearing high heels. She had to brace herself against the counter for a second, the loud music and the aftertaste of alcohol causing her stomach to turn. Suddenly she felt a hand grasp her shoulder and an icy chill shot down her spine down to her knees. Thinking it was a stranger, she turned around, prepared to swing her purse at the offender, only to find herself staring into the one pair of eyes she needed the most.

"Sheldon?" she asked bewilderedly. "What's wrong?"

"Can't say, need to leave" Sheldon whimpered, clasping her hand in his, tugging at her arm for her to come with him. Grateful that he had showed up to rescue her she squeezed his hand tightly, only to watch him stop dead in his tracks as David pushed himself between them, effectively breaking them apart.

"Dude, get your hands off my girl!" the tall man, who now didn't seem so attractive anymore, bellowed at her boyfriend. Sheldon's mouth hung open, and he shot a questioning look at Amy, who found herself trapped between David and the counter.

"Excuse me sir, but in what way is this woman 'your girl? One can't own a person. If anything, Amy is her own girl. But if we're marking territory here, I must inform you that this woman is already mine and therefore will never be yours" Sheldon countered in his usual matter-of-fact demeanor, feeling the corner of his left eye twitch. Being of the same height as this poor excuse for a human being, he locked eyes with him, feeling a surge of jealousy at the pit of his stomach. He reached behind the man to grab Amy's hand once again, only to be rewarded with a jab in his shoulder.

Normally, Sheldon would have bolted out of the establishment at the prospect of getting beaten up, but one unfortunate side-effect of alcohol consumption was the loss of survival instinct. Plus, this ape had laid hands on his woman.

"Sheldon!" Amy cried out, her eyes the size of saucers. She couldn't believe David had actually gone physical on the lanky physicist. Where were the guards when you needed them!?

"Amy! Do you know which part of 'she's not your girl' this low-land gorilla didn't understand? I thought I made it perfectly clear" Sheldon called out to her, a baffled look on his face.

"What the hell did you call me?" David howled, and Sheldon could swear he saw smoke coming out of his ears.

"You'll have to excuse me but we are not all community college drop-outs. I'll dumb it down for you: the Western Lowland gorilla, also known as Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla in Latin – hey look at that, three Gorillas! – is native to the forests of central Af-"

As a theoretical physicist, Sheldon had a profound understanding of the Space-Time continuum, having spent the greater part of his life working with String Theory. But not even he could explain what kind of fluctuations in these interwoven dimensions could cause David's clenched fist to move in slow-motion toward his face. Fascinating!

"-rica!" he finished, moving his head to the side to avoid getting hit, feeling like Neo in the Matrix.

Hearing the smash of fist against jaw behind him he turned around, watching as the poor unfortunate soul who had to take the hit in his place grabbed his nose, the blood splashing in all directions as he cried out in pain. So much blood. Ohhhh dear. Oh dear. Oh DEAR.

Amy clasped her hands over her mouth, choking the squeal that slipped out from her ruby red lips. She had no idea how Sheldon had diverted that blow but she wasn't about to find out if he could repeat the stunt. Noticing how he paled at the sight of the blood flowing from that poor man's nose she realized she had to get her boyfriend out of there before he fainted. Bolting out from behind David she grabbed Sheldon's hand just as the guy who had his nose broken swung a punch at the tall blond man who was the cause of all this trouble.

"RUN!" Amy yelled, pulling her boyfriend with her, not about to stick around for the inevitable bar brawl.

"Amy, I don't know if this is the right time to tell you, but I think this was a really bad idea!" Sheldon shouted as they disappeared into the crowd.

The sound of flying chairs and broken glass evaded the quirky pair, the electronic tunes drenching out the chaos that unfolded behind them.

'Maybe I was better off without the college experience' Amy groaned to herself as she and Sheldon entered the psychedelic, laser-y Wonderland that was the second dance floor.

A/N2: I just can't give these two a break huh? Still fun? =) Want more? You know I'm a quick writer so stay tuned!